A/N This is some really bad creepypasta (darkfic is a more appropriate term, really, but that's what everyone on dA calls these things) I wrote back in April. I'm... rather suprised at how much one can mature in several months. I decided to do an poke fun at it for my own amusement, creating a *most likely bad* sporking of it. Fortunatly, unlike if I was doing something else, I can be as rude to the idiotic bitch who wrote this as I want.
Carry My Fate Till Death by abchihuahua98, aka Siamese-Of-The-Stars
"God...it's pretty outside...But, that's the deception of air-conditioning..."
Angsting over the tempature in a melodramatic way. What a lovely way to introduce our narrator and earn them likability.
Typical after-school moment, laying on my bed, staring at the squirrels chasing each other,
Take note of those squirrels; they get mentioned a lot.
wanting to go out, but fearing the roast.
I'd comment on how purple that sounds, if it was not for the fact that I still write like that sometimes... I'm working on it...
Now, for those of you who don't understand Charleston, S.C. weather,
Which would be most of the readers, and they probably really, really, don't care, as it has no relevence whatsoever to the plot.
two things: 1. We don't have spring, we sure as heck don't have fall. It's just freezing one week and then searing hot the next.
get VERY hot and humid when it wants to, and this was one of the days it wanted to.
This reader get annoyed at careless typos and redundancy when she wants to, and this was one of the days she wanted to.
So, despite it being early-ish mid-spring, it was way to hot to go out.
So, naturally, perfect day for playing Pokemon.
A nerd's tested-and-tried soltion to everything.
Starting up my White, I checked over my team: My precious serpirior Cereal,
...I have the most awesome sense of naming ever. To bad the space doesn't allow me to tack 'Killer' onto the end of that.
my epic-kitty
*headdesk* I hate my younger self.
liepard Nightstar, my HM-slave and battle ready semipour Storm,
Is it an HM-slave or a member of your party used for battling that just happens to know several HM moves? THEY ARE NOT THE SAME THING, DAMNIT!
my sweeper unfazant Talon, and secret weapon, a victini named Nike...and an empty slot. Let's see what we can do about this gap that's been there from the start...
For starters, how about keeping in the past tense?
I checked the Notice board in a gate and saw that pokemon were swarming on Route 2.
"Talon! Use Fly!"
I wandered out onto the Route, paying more attention to some squirrels chasing each other around the oak in my backyard then the game, and was pleasantly surprised to hear a wynut's cry ring out of my speakers.
I shall not say anything about the violet hue of that statement.
Now, I'm not much of a strategic player,unless all offense, kill them quickly is a "strategy,"
Listen, little Ms. Author, I know you better than you think I do. I know that you're an extremely casual player; if you can get through the main story and some bonus content, you're happy. The Kill 'em All quickly strategy works just fine for ya', 'kay, darlin'?
(my offensive style is part of the reason such pokemon as Swampert are among my favorites)
Ah, my love of swampert, something that gets flaunted around in a few of my other Pokemon darkfics. (though no one really cares about what some random chick on the internet who can't write thinks of them) One can get an idea of my affection for them by that fact that it's one of the only Pokemon names capitalized here.
but judging by how I played through the game fairly smoothly with a serpirior and a liepard, who aren't exactly known for their power, on my team, I figured I'd give this high-strategy pokemon a shot.
1. You played those two Pokemon as offensively as you would anything else.
2. Those poor, abused commas; I shall make a note to send them a sympathy card later.
Plus...it was so mysterious, a pokemon that dealt damage by taking damage itself, and with its signature move, Destiny Bond, it could beat anything... it is a somewhat godly pokemon, when you think about it...
Only if one uses it correctly, which, from my experience isn't really that easy.
Oh hey, look! One of the squirrels is hanging upside down from the birdfeeder!
...I really hate my younger self...
A little weakening, and a toss of a nest ball, and-BOOM-
Would 'click' not be more accurate?
I had a wynut at my fingertips.
It seemed perfect. It was female, good, considering how I really don't use ditto for those...er..."unholy purposes,"
Breeding, mating, reproducing, sex... Man up and say the word! And, yes, you do.
it had a pretty nice nature, Sassy, and was fair level, being 40, as opposed to my 58-ish team. I named her Destiny, in honor of her siggy move.
'Siggy'...What was I thinking when writing this?
She seemed fine, until I walked two more steps and came across another wynut, again female, 10 levels higher, and just more...right feeling than Destiny.
Because a video game can totally compel your soul to do do something. ...Well there is all that ranting by those clueless fundamentalist who are giving me an education:
"POKEYMAN MAKES DEMONS POSSESS YOU! WHY? HERE: POKEMANS ARE SATANIC 'CAUSE THEY EVOLVE AND STUFF! AND THEY'RE FROM JAPAN, AND WE ALL KNOW HOW EVUL EASTERN INFLUENCE IS! READ CHICK TRACTS AND THE BIBLE LIKE A GOOD PERSON, 'CAUSE IF YOU DON'T YOU'RE A FILTHY SCUMBAG! HURRHURRHURR!"
...Sorry, I often listen to speeches at school that basically amount up to that, but with different topics; needed to let some steam out. I'm Christian, but, yeesh...
Weaken, Nest ball, BOOM!
*CLICK* Click, dammit!
I named her Bond, as a kind of second part to the name, and went over her stats. Hasty, witch seemed even better then Sassy, considering the stat boost from the nature was more effective on a wynut, and I wouldn't have to train her as much to reach the rest of my team's strength. Perfect~
I had Talon fly me to White Forest , where I walked into the pokemon center, started up the PC, and replaced Destiny's spot on my team with Bond, releasing Destiny, figuring she would be useless as anything but GTS bait.
That really should have been multiple sentences...I weep for those poor commas...
But...before I released her, I felt compelled to check her stats.
"MORE DEMONIC POSSESION FROM 'DEM POCKYMENS!"
"Will not be replaced."
What the hellcakes on fudging fire?
I thought we already fucking talked about manning the fuck up with your language, bitch.
That said "Likes to run," a minute ago! ...Oh look! That squirrel is racing the other around the tree!
I'm starting to think that those squirrels are affect her somehow...
"Oh yeah, bye-bye, Destiny!"
Going on the route directly before White Forest, I ran around in the grass, hoping to snag a Braviary, for no other reason than its bad$$ American-ness, and the pleasure that comes from naming it Alfred...
*sigh* That one sentence really kills this thing's status as a darkfic.
I know...I'm SOOOO original.
As evidenced by your writing of this poorly done, cliche 'darkfic.'
"Walking through the grass~"
"Looking at the squirrels~"
"Singing this pointless song~"
Reading this stupid fic~
Badly sporking it~
Wanting to strangle my past self~
"Battle music!"
"Wait, what?"
"Oh crap..."
Explanation of what just happened: So, a battle started like normal, but my opponent was a wynut, with eyes opened into big, dark circles.
Why is my arm starting to go numb?
"Destiny: You thought you could forget me?"
Okay, Pokemon wants revenge for being left alone. Not cliche at all. Bonus points for barely having the Pokemon for two minutes before releasing it.
Despite being at the back of my team, Bond was sent out into battle. I glanced at the bottom screen. The only pokeball there was Bond's. I started to freak out a little at the loss of my hard-earned team, some of witch had been painfully raised from levels lower than ten. Crap, crap, crap!
"Destiny: Don't worry, I have no quarrel with them. Their back in your PC box, safe and well."
Okay, major freak-out #1: Taken care of. Major freak-out #2...WHAT THE FREAKING FUDGE IS DESTINY DOING HERE!
I SAID TO MAN THE FUCK UP WITH THE FUCKING LANGUAGE!
"No way I'm going down just because a "better" version of myself was found."
Ya' knew me for two minutes. Boo fricken' hoo.
"Destiny used Destiny Bond!" (Redundant, much?)
Don't use comic relief in the climax of a darkfic. Please, just don't.
The animation that played wasn't like Destny Bond's move animation in any other game, and, after confirming this with a bit of research, not like in White. Destiny's eyes glowed red, and the two wynut moved close together, and were bound by chains to each other.
Again with the numb arm...
The animation faded, but the eerie red glow from her eyes remained. Ooh! That squirrel is...Gah! This is no time to look at the squirrels!
I'm sure that the squirrels are possessing the her at this point.
"Destiny: You will now carry my fate till death."
REQUIRED TITLE DROP!
"Destiny used suicide!"
Thank God, the remains of this thing are starting to die out!
Blood started to gush out of Destiny's sprite, turning the circle of terrain around her red.
"Bond is feeling Destiny's pain! Bond can't move!"
The arm is number than ever.
"Destiny: If you replace me, you can suffer like I do! Now I'll drag you into Hell with me!"
"Destiny and Bond simultaneously died!"
Good riddance.
Well...that was...fun, I guess...I really want to know what I was thinking while writing it, though. Arragh, I'm going to go do something else now...