Disclaimer: Me not own Glee, sadly.
A/N: This is an AU fiction, possibly Finchel, maybe not. And if anyone has seen Higher Ground; the inspiration came from there.
Home, sweet home.
Rachel looked around her old bedroom and sighed, she had been up for hours, sitting up her bed with her blanket wrapped tightly around her, jumping at the slightest creak in the house, wondering if he would make it into her bedroom tonight. She kept telling herself it wasn't possible, he was too sick. She shook her head and wiped away the tears that fell from her eyes, he couldn't get her, it was going to be okay.
"Rachel, wake up!" She groaned and got out of bed and stumbled from the bedroom, day one of being back home and it was as though she had never been gone. "I have to go to work, I need you to take this up to your dad." Rachel laughed bitterly and shook her head,
"That man is not my dad."
"I don't care right now, just take that up along with his medication. I need you to do some chores and do whatever he wants you to. Be nice, Rachel, he's very sick right now. I have to go, move it Quinn." Rachel looked down at the list in front of her and sighed, wondering when she became a slave to the man she hated so much, the man she grew up referring to him as the monster under the bed.
"Kitten!" She gripped the paper tightly when she heard the all to familiar nickname and gritted her teeth, this would be so much harder than she thought. She grabbed some of the pills her mother had set out and put them on the tray with the rest of his breakfast. She thought about how easy it would be to murder him, knowing that way she would never have to put up with him again. She would never see her friends either, she would be in a prison cell instead and even she knew she would never belong there.
She frowned when she entered his bedroom and looked at the fragile looking man in a wheelchair. She stared at the oxygen tank; designed to keep him alive, but she quickly looked away – she was terrified of her own actions. "Thank you so much, kitten." He smiled at her and then tapped his lap, "Come sit with your dad."
"I have a lot to do." She gulped and looked around the room, shaking already,
"I'm sure your mom will understand, I will tell her how you kept me company.. please kitten, I missed you so much."
"Don't you think I'm a little too old for that sort of thing?" She looked down at the ground, trying not to cry. She wanted to scream that it was his fault she was even sent away in the first place, she would never have ended up at a help camp for rebellious teenagers if it wasn't for him.
"I don't think you will ever be told to keep me company." He tapped his lap again, both of them jumping when the phone rang,
"I should get that." Rachel muttered as she ran out of his room, towards the phone, she was scared of someone who couldn't even hurt her in this state, she was terrified of him. She wiped the tears away, answering the phone only to hear a sales person on the other end. She almost thanked the man on the other end of the phone for saving her.
She looked at the list of chores, deciding to begin them as she grabbed the ironing board, getting engrossed in the job as she tried to distract herself with thoughts of being back at camp – she belonged there, she had people who understood her. "Kitten." She was brought from her thoughts and she looked towards the stairs,
"What?" She shouted up, harsher than she could have ever intended.
"I need some water.." He sounded so weak, she would have laughed if he didn't scare her so much – the roles were reversed, he was the weak one and she was strong. It was what she always wanted, but it didn't feel as good as she thought it would. She was still weak, she was still that scared, little girl and he was still that horrible monster in her nightmares, nothing had changed. She was just his slave, doing everything and anything to please him now. He was still in complete control and she knew that, so did he.
She bit her lip when she placed the glass of water in his hands, taking a large step back, "Anything else?" He shook his head and smiled at her,
"I can't wait until I'm better again, I want to show you how much I've missed you." She shook her head and bit down on her lip,
"I don't want to know."
"Yes you do, you love our special time together, kitten. I know you do, I could see it in your eyes and you want some alone time right now."
"No.. d-don't do that.. d-don't make out like it was me.." She turned from him as tears ran down her face, trying to hold them in,
"I could always have special time with Quinn." She turned around quickly at the mention of her little sister, and she shook her head,
"No.. please.. d-don't.. I'll do anything. I'm so sorry." She wiped the tears from her face and walked up to him, muttering sorry over and over again, knowing she would do anything to save her baby sister from the same fate. He smiled and put a hand on her face,
"There's my good little girl.. now give me your hand." She nodded and slowly handed him her shaking hand, not bothering to hide the amount of fear she was feeling. She watched him as he moved his hand to his lap and left it there, she closed her eyes and tried to think of something else. She could just see him smiling, he had gotten what he wanted. He always knew how to get her, he always knew what to say. She took a deep, shaky breath and opened her eyes before moving her hand away.
"I really do have stuff to do." She said as she got up and turned around, not wanting to turn to see the satisfaction on his face, not wanting to remind herself what a whore she really was. She ran back down the stairs and looked around the kitchen for something to do, something to distract her from the pain that was her entire life. She thought about calling the counsellors back at the camp but then she would have to explain why she felt the need to do so, and she couldn't tell them. She looked at the clock and smiled, just ten more minutes until Quinn would get home and she would be safe until night time.
~ .. ~
Rachel slammed down the tray of food in front of James and went to walk out before he could say or do anything to her. She had been home for over a week now and nothing was getting any better. He hadn't touched her, not through lack of trying, he was still weak but there were the comments. She despised him, and she hated the fact that she had to look after him. He had never looked after her, he was the reason she was the person she was today, he had ruined her and now she had to make him better. He had done nothing for her except make sure she had no life after him, he ruined everything about her life and now she had nothing.
She sighed and he grabbed her arm as she turned around and looked at him, "I do have stuff to do you know, stuff that doesn't include looking after you." She said as she rolled her eyes, pulling her arm from him and wrapping both arms around herself.
"Please kitten, I need help with some of this.." He nodded towards the food and Rachel just shook her head, disgusted,
"You have hands, don't you? Do it your damn self, I am not your slave." She slammed the medication into his hands and grabbed a cup of water from the bedside table, "Take your pills, we wouldn't want anything to happen to you now, would we?" She muttered sarcastically, he sighed and took them slowly. She found herself looking at his oxygen tank, always thinking about how easy it would be to kill him, she would never get caught.. it would be so easy and clean..
She sighed, knowing she wouldn't be able to go through with it no matter how much she hated him. She stayed with him while he ate, wishing he would choke with every bite he took. When he didn't, she looked around after every swallow, wondering why he hadn't died yet. She watched him as he closed his eyes and smiled at her, she never noticed her younger sister standing behind her, not until she spoke.
"I wish he would just die." She turned around and stared at the younger girl, confused, wondering what would make her say it. She shook her head as she looked at her, looking back at the man who caused the same feelings, and that same look in her own eyes years ago. She could feel the tears stinging her eyes already as she put a hand on his shoulder and shook him, all her fear gone for a second as she looked him straight in the face.
"You touched her?" She looked behind for a second, and her sister just stood there with tears running down her own face,
"I'm so sorry kitten, it won't happen again." He croaked, Rachel could only nod and stand up, the anger overtaking any other feeling she had, getting ready to rip that oxygen tank away from him.
"You promised!" She wanted to scream at him, only keeping her voice low for Quinn's sake, he nodded and looked down,
"She reminds me so much of you.. but now you're home. I will love you and only you kitten, it will be okay now." He reached to touch her face but she slapped his hand away and took a step back.
"I will make you pay for this.." He shook his head and watched her run after her sister.
"You knew and you left me!" Quinn slammed the door behind her and grabbed a suitcase, not looking up at the older sister when she walked in,
"He promised me.. I'm so sorry.."
"Are you stupid? Promises don't mean fucking anything to people like him." The younger blonde ran to grab some clothes, tears falling quickly as Rachel grabbed her arm,
"Don't run.. he will pay for this."
"You ran.. what makes you so damn special?"
"I can get you away from here, please don't.. you'll end up on the streets, and I don't want that life for you. I promise.. I can make this better. Please let me make this better." She wiped the tears from her own face as she tried to keep her voice as strong as possible, she couldn't break down, now now, not in front of her sister.
"What do you mean?"
"I know who your dad is, I can get you to him. I know he wants to see you and I will make sure you're safe again."
"Just.. get out and leave me alone. You left me with him, Rachel and nothing you could ever do will make up for that. You knew what he was like, you knew what he did and you just left. I hate you!" Quinn pushed Rachel out of the door and slammed it behind her as she dropped herself to the floor, crying.
Rachel looked at the door for a moment before running down the stairs, she looked around the kitchen and grabbed the pills on the counter. How easy would it be? Nobody would find her, not for a few more hours when her mom came home from work and by then it would be too late. She sighed and chucked the pills on the floor; it was too clean and he didn't deserve that. She frowned and emptied the knife drawer on the floor, smiling at the largest knife before she grabbed it. She looked at the way it glinted in the moonlight and she stumbled back down against the wall. She slid down to the floor, knowing no one was around.
She held the knife up and rolled her sleeves up, shaking at what she was about to do, she just wanted to feel better. She slid the blade across her wrist, avoiding any veins to just see what it felt like. She watched the blood drop onto the kitchen floor and she felt calm for once, she felt like it would be fine, it would be right. She smiled when she thought of Brittany; the girl had been right when she described her first time cutting; "suddenly the world felt like it had no more evil in it."
She looked down at her wrist and smiled at the blood, he would get his punishment soon enough and this was hers. She left her sister behind and he had hurt her sister. She was going to make sure he never touched her again, and then she would deal with him, she sighed as she got up and pocketed the knife for a moment before walking to the phone. She picked it up and started to dial the number she had longed to dial for so long now.
"What the hell do you think you are doing?" She dropped the phone to the ground and turned around, wide-eyed and scared,
"Phoning a friend." She whispered, her mom shook her head and looked at the mess left behind by Rachel's previous destruction. She looked down at the blood on the floor and the deep cut on her daughter's wrist before she laughed,
"You are weak. You're home now, Rachel, you belong here.. deal with it." Rachel stared at the older woman in shock, wasn't she going to ask what happened? What was wrong with her? Did she hate her that much?
"I don't think Quinn should be here anymore, she doesn't want to be here anymore." She took a step towards her mother who just glared back at her, "I know when someone is upset.. I know when something isn't right. I caught her trying to run away today, do you want her to end up like me? Let her go for just a while, just until she is back to herself, please.."
"Fine, I'll phone him tomorrow but only on the condition you don't run. You stay here, got it?" Rachel nodded and gulped, silently agreeing that she couldn't go back to the life she had before on the streets. James couldn't hurt her anymore, he was too sick to do anything. She sighed and looked down at the floor, hiding the knife in her pocket as she turned to walk up the stairs. "I need you to clean this mess tomorrow morning." Her mom muttered, and Rachel just nodded before walking into her bedroom.
Her own mother didn't care about her, she never would. She sat down on her bed and pulled the knife from her pocket, slipping it under her pillow and she smiled, just knowing it was there made her feel so much better. She was so strong on the outside, but on the inside she was just a scared little girl. Rachel knew she was weak, and she would never let anyone else see that, she wouldn't let anyone get in anymore. Nobody would get close, it was better that way. Better for everyone.