This was written for the Nine Lives Secrets & Signs Challenge. Hope you like it!
Their differences had been settled, yet Carol still felt uneasy around Rick. To her, his apology didn't feel as though he was being genuine, and Daryl agreed. It had all of the flair of a politician's offering of remorse after being caught with his pants down, but it was something. Not wanting to be the reason the others felt uncomfortable in her presence, she accepted his apology with as much sincerity as he had shown her.
Days had passed since then, but Carol still didn't feel as though everything was back to normal. She spent most of her time with Daryl by her side, but when it just wasn't possible, she sought refuge in the attic bedroom they had claimed for themselves. With the North and South facing windows, Daryl figured he would be able to assist with watch duty without having to leave her side.
There was only one bed in the room, and initially, Daryl planned on giving her the bed. He kept saying that the floor was just fine for him, but Carol refused. She insisted there was more than enough room for both of them. They ended up wrapped around each other sometimes, but Daryl didn't seem to be bothered by it like she thought he would be. More than once, he had reached over and wrapped himself around her when he had thought she was sleeping. Taking the opportunity when it was presented to her, she would push herself back against him, committing the feeling to memory for cold, lonely nights that were sure to come.
In Carol's mind, the line was beginning to blur. She thought he was quite handsome the first time she saw him His blue eyes pulled her in, the same fears and pains that colored her own. It wasn't until the farm that she was able to really see Daryl for who he was, a kind hearted man with a wall built up as high as hers.
Time passed and so did people. Carol remembered the way she found herself with Daryl more and more after T-Dog's death. Everyone else in their group had a person, and Daryl had become hers. The day he was leaving for Woodbury, when he stopped and asked her to stay safe, that was when she knew she had become his person.
Carol was in love with him, and she couldn't deny it any longer. If friendship was the only thing he could offer her, she would be happy. It was a better gift than anyone else had ever offered her. She would keep her love for him a secret to keep from scaring him away.
With plenty of mending to keep her busy, the afternoons flew by for Carol. Daryl's clothes looked as though he had run through a field of razor wire. She had lost count how many times she had stitched holes up and reattached belt loops on the pair of brown pants in her hand. She wouldn't dare to admit it out loud, but they were her favorite pants on him. Something about the way they fit his perfect ass made her unable to focus on the needle until she poked her thumb, ending her daydreaming.
The blood was dripping off of her thumb quite a bit for just a small needle poke. In an effort to stop the bleeding, she sucked on her thumb for a moment until she realized what she was doing. How many other bad habits of his had she picked up?
Daryl's bag was sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed, and she knew there was a first aid kit inside it. He didn't like people touching his stuff, but he wasn't around to see what she was doing. She unzipped the backpack and pulled things out, making a mental note of how things were arranged so she could put them back the same way. At the bottom there was a box she figured was for his medical supplies. She took the box out, and sat down on the bed.
As she lifted the lid, she was surprised by the contents found inside. Instead of the medical supplies she was searching for, the box was filled with all kinds of little items. There was a silver bracelet made up of connecting vines and flowers. Each little flower had a tiny diamond in the center of it. Holding it up in the sunlight, Carol admired it's beauty and the way it cast shimmering rainbows around the room.
A handful of stones rattled around inside the box. They were mostly beautiful shades of green and blue, but every color was represented. Carol knew what a few of the stones were supposed to help with. Her old neighbor was a sweet older woman who owned a metaphysical store in town next to the pharmacy. One their trips to the store, Sophia would beg to go inside and look at the pretty rocks, and of course, Carol would buy them for her little girl. It was their little secret.
The metallic black Hematite was said to be good for protection and intuition. There were a couple Turquoises, which were for strength and protection. Two red jaspers were inside as well, offering protection during the night. A handful of blue quartz stones covered the bottom of the box. Blue quartz was supposed to enhance communication and give the owner courage. Rolling the stones around in her hand, she appreciated not only the stones themselves, but what they represented. Carol couldn't help but wonder if he was keeping certain stones for a reason, or if it was purely a coincidence.
Hiding at the bottom of the box was a black and white book note pad and a few colored pencils. A black shoelace was tied around it to keep it closed. Carol knew it was from Daryl's old boots because she recognized the green electrical tape on the fraying ends. When she picked up the book, a loose paper fell into her lap, and she was greeted by a pencil sketch of bright blue eyes staring at her. Upon closer inspection, they were her eyes. Every wrinkle and lash there on the paper. She had no idea Daryl was such a gifted artist.
Looking back into the box, she saw a sketch pad and realized there was something drawn on every page. Everyone in their family was represented within the pad. There was one of Merle on his Triumph, Andrea and Amy with their fishing poles, and Dale and his hat working on the RV, Glenn at his side holding a screwdriver. The faces on the next page caused her heart to stop for a moment. It was Carl and Sophia sitting by the fire, a blanket wrapped around their shoulders. She moved the paper as she felt the tears rolling down her cheeks, not wanting to leave tear stains on his artwork. Daryl had done a great job showing the innocence and fear in Sophia's eyes. The more she thought about it, she couldn't recall ever seeing him draw, and realized he must have done all of these from memory.
Carol forced herself to turn the page and see what other moments Daryl had captured on paper. There were a few spread through the pad of the Greene's, Lori, T-Dog, even Shane, but the majority of the pages were filled with her likeness. There was a black and white drawing of her sitting on the back of the bike, completely relaxed and with a smile on her face. There was two sentences scrolled underneath it in Daryl's surprisingly neat handwriting. "One day I'll be able to tell you how I feel. Just hope I'm not too late."
There was a page showed her holding Judith, the morning he left for Woodbury. Towards the back of the book was the most elaborate sketch. Carol was looking up at the sky sitting near a Cherokee Rose bush. Sophia was looking down at her mother through the clouds. Knowing that he knew Sophia's face well enough to draw her little girl's image entirely from memory, moved her beyond words.
Carol turned a few more pages in the book. A Cherokee Rose was pressed there, above what looked like a journal entry.
"I found her. Don't need this as a grave marker anymore. Gonna keep it as a reminder to keep her safe. Keep her close."
Her eyes welled with more tears seeing that he not only used the flower as her grave marker, going beyond the fences to get it, and then kept it after he found her. Daryl had been keeping his own secrets from her. Suddenly realizing that she was violating his privacy, she moved to put everything back when some scribbles on the back of the book caught her eye.
"Hell, maybe you already found this book, and every sketch, every word, and now you know how much I love you, Carol."