A/U:This is a new fanfic.I hope you enjoy it!
My life is laugh and joke,whilst i feel like the sidelines of it all started in Y5.I was happy,smiley had friends and would do well in my day I walked into school and people were laughing at me.I was only 10 at the point so i just ignored it.I remember them laughing and pointing at me but i walked away keeping my head held high,even though inside i was crumbling.
This kept on happening my friends would be more distant,i was would eat alone at dinner and not speak to anyone,i was shouted at for not paying attention in class and the boys would make fun of my weight.I do have problems with my weight even now im still not happy about it but i decided to just ignore them and not show them that i was affected. The last year of primary was worse.I got really bad results on my SAT's and my parents were shouting at me telling me I didnt concentrate hard enough but i never told them what i was going through.
The first year of High school was the worst so far.I remember walking in and seeing all the beautiful skinny girls and i was there as this ugly fat girl...that's what i was called. I had no friends and I would walk around the school for about 3 weeks getting lost and having no where to go. After 5 months i was sick and tired of people calling me so i decided to go up to this girl.I asked her what her name was and she smiled at me and we started was called Santana and it turns out that our parents went to school is still my best friend from this day forward. I finally thought that i was happy until this present year.
In September 2011 i started my second year at my high school. The year started if well and finally i thought i would be happy until February names and looks started again,i would make up excuses so i didnt have to go to P.E and wear those shorts that showed off my fat,awful legs. It all started to build up in me until one day i broke down.I was sat in my room crying for hours whilst my parents were out and i would just cry and cry and cry. I remember seeing some scissors on my desk and one cut and all the pain would be let i did it.I cut my wrist once.
Up until April i didn t do it April my auntie was in a coma.I remember i would just sit in silence praying,waiting for her to wake up...that day they set her free.
I cut myself again this time deeper and as the blood trickled down my skin i couldn't help but smile at the pain being let out so it wasnt in me anymore but as time went on it didn't help. The day my life changed was when I was lost. .I was walking home when I was attacked.I was beaten,….raped., I didn't realise it at first until it all started making sense.I couldn't even lose my virginity to a guy I love.
I started to cut myself regularly and i would just let the blood drip. I would wear long sleeve tops even on sunny days and i would sleep in jackets.I wanted to commit suicide but i couldnt there was more to live for.I remember waking up one day and looking in the mirror thinking it was time for a change so I did. I stopped eating and if i was made to eat i would force myself to throw it up again...i lost weight and i thought it was working until my mum found found out about everything...the cutting,the suicidal thoughts,the bullying,the eating,everything!She told one of my P.E teachers and she thought i needed to go to the doctors.I still haven't been now but i know im depressed.
I have more friends now...they found out also about everything and i still dont know who it was from this day have been here with me through everything and i cant help but think how lucky i am to have such good friends like everything i am getting better even though my depression is still here,I want to power through it and be a happy teenager again.
This is why I have ended up having a new life in Lima Ohio.
So what do you think?Review?