Disclaimer: Detective Conan & Magic Kaito belong to Aoyama Gosho.

Ship: Kaitou KID x Edogawa Conan / Kudou Shinichi (one-sided)

Genre: Crack, extreme random-ness and OoC-ness

Words: 683

Summary: Conan was not pleased about a certain piece of new merchandise. (If you haven't heard of the Kudou Shinichi and Kaitou KID bed sheets coming out in July, it'd help to google them before reading drabble 1…)

Drabble 1: Prank

"Hello, may I speak with Kisaki Eri-san?"

Kisaki Eri blinked as she recognized the voice on the other end of the phone. "Shinichi-kun? It's rare to hear from you. Do you need help with something?"

"Yes, it has been awhile. I would like some advices regarding filing a lawsuit against someone who imposed my identity and defiled my reputation."

"I see. Who was it?"

A pause and a deep sigh. "I don't have solid proof, but I have very strong suspicions against Kaitou KID."

"...Huh? Shinichi-kun, can you elaborate on what happened? Last I checked you weren't part of any recent KID heists and you haven't been on the media for ages, so what led to your suspicion of–"

"Eri-san, let's just say KID and I have some personal… grudges. In any case, what happened was that there are currently some dehumanizing images of me in the fan industry. I have never posed for such photos and the only master of disguise I know is…"

"Thank you, Eri-san. I really appreciate it. Talk to you later." Edogawa Conan sighed as he put his cell phone down and bowtie voice changer away. Outside at the Mouri Detective Agency reception area, he could still hear Suzuki Sonoko babbling on and on to Mouri Ran about what she is going to do with a thousand sets of the infamous Kaitou KID bed sheets she pre-ordered. For once he was grateful of the high school girl's presence as otherwise he wouldn't have known about those horrifying fabrics until it was too late. Rubbing his forehead in attempt to soothe his headache, he picked up his cell phone again and dialed another number. He had no idea when that particular number was snuck into his contact list, but at this point it didn't matter. He groaned the second his eardrum was abused by the eagerness of the receiver.

"Tantei-kun! It's the first time you've called me–"

"Hi Kosodoro-san. What's with that crazy photo?"

A moment of silence. "…I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Cut the act, thief. Who else would dare to make such suggestive poses of Kudou Shinichi other than you? On top of that, you are the only person who can impose me down to the last detail without extra disguises. Why did you have to do something insane like this?"

"It's because Tantei-kun didn't go to my last heist! You know how I hate to be ignored." The idiot on the other end of the phone certainly sounded more cheerful than Conan would've liked.

"So this is supposed to be a punishment of some sort for not showing up?"

"Nope, just my way of seeking attention from you~"

"Does it not bother you that with this maniacal prank of yours, pictorial forms of Kaitou KID and Kudou Shinichi would end up sleeping with random fr–, uh, people?"

"Why should I be bothered by the fact that my fans love me?" KID chuckled.

Refraining from banging his head on the wall, Conan decided that further communication with the insane thief would do nothing other than damage his own brain. He'd never understand the mentality of that crazy attention seeking thief, but that's probably a good thing – it means he wasn't a lunatic, right? Sighing in mental defeat, Conan cleared his throat to make his final statements. "Well, I hope you are happy that you certainly got my attention now. Anyhow, the main purpose of this phone call is to inform you that lawyer Kisaki Eri will be in touch with you soon regarding the damages you have done to my image and reputation."

"Huh? But–"

"And she will look into contacting the manufacturers and halting the production of the Kudou Shinichi bed sheets, as legally speaking, I never consented to it. Good day, Kosodoro-san. I'll be sure to show up at your next heist to kick your sorry ass." With the last words, Conan hung up and turned his cell phone off. Time to pay Haibara a visit to get his brain wiped clean of this ship wreck.

End.

Afterword: I'm actually not sure if it'd be more appropriate to call a lawyer or a police in this situation. XD I have no idea how Eri will manage to file a lawsuit against KID, but I'm sure she will figure it out…

Title adapted from GARNET CROW's Spiral.

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