Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds, nor any of its characters. I am not the author of any lyrics or poems included in this story.
Spark : Flame : Ashes : Smoke - Chapter 1
"How do they do it, the ones who make love without love? "
- Sharon Olds
The case was relatively easy. A child abducted by a family member in order to make one parent appear guilty and unfit. The dynamics were sure to play out throughout the child's lifetime, but the toddler was unharmed and young enough to not bear the weight of the past 39 hours. Morgan couldn't stop replaying the image of tough SSA Rossi tenderly cradling the small girl, almost reluctantly returning her to her father. His friend definitely needed grandkids and Morgan spent another moment wishing for something that could never be. Shaking the day from his head, he looked at his current surroundings once more. Morgan sighed. Every single light in his house was on. Reid's beat up old junker was parked squarely in the driveway. Of course Reid was at Morgan's first. He didn't have to stop to pick up their dinner. That was always Morgan's job, their routine after cases established months ago.
Morgan breezed into his home, not even pausing to turn off the porch light. He smelled the fire crackling in the living room and smiled. Heading directly to the kitchen, he sat the bag of Chinese takeout on the granite island. Morgan was pulling the food out of the bag as Reid eased up behind him, peering over his shoulder. Turning in the tight space between the two agents, Morgan found himself nearly pressed against Reid's body. Neither man spoke even a hello to one another. Instead, Reid's arms loosely encircled Morgan's waist. While Morgan was genuinely surprised by Reid's gesture, he didn't allow it to show. He raised his own hands, threading them into Reid's hair, bringing Reid impossibly closer.
Reid licked his lips, his eyes never straying from Morgan's. They kissed - kissed with their eyes wide open. No haunting crime scene details seared into their psyches, no liquor loosening their inhibitions. Just a languid, nearly practiced kiss. A kiss unnaturally perfect for their first time.
Reid pulled back with a start. He licked his lip once again, hoping to memorize the feeling of Morgan's mouth there. Reid's arms remain wrapped around Morgan and he aches to press down on the small of Morgan's back but he's frozen in place. Morgan's hands move of their own accord, drawing Reid back to his lips. They kiss softly yet passionately, Morgan's tongue mastering Reid's. Minutes pass. Their dinner is long forgotten. Morgan's lips greedily descend to nip at Reid's chin, searching out for the small cleft there before progressing down Reid's sensitive throat.
Reid makes a sound that causes Morgan to quake. He tugs at the hair still in his grip. Reid's moans grow louder.
Morgan cocks his head on Reid's shoulder and breaks the silence, "Touch me."
Reid looses all semblance of restraint. Whatever this is, however long it lasts, Reid has to comply. His hands race from the center of Morgan's body to the curve of his ass, cupping and clutching and pulling Morgan into himself. He wants desperately to be one with Morgan. He's never known it and he's always known it. Morgan's erection feels so good and so solid against him and his hips jerk suddenly and pushes Morgan against the island. Morgan straightens and pulls slightly away from Reid's insistent, rhythmic thrusting.
Reid lowers his head and worries his lip with shame.
Hurriedly Morgan purrs, "That's good, Baby, but that's not where I wanted you to touch me." Somehow Morgan manages to place Reid's palm against the front of his jeans, squarely on his dick. Reid's face flames; he turns his face away and focuses on the ground.
"Our dinner is getting c- c- cold," Reid manages to stumble out.
He doesn't remove his hand and neither does Morgan.
Reid can hear his heartbeat in the silence.
Morgan's confidence never waivers, pushing up into the heat of both of their hands. He waits for Reid to come back to him. Reid turns, shocked to see both love and lust in his best friend's eyes.
"I want this man. I want you. Tonight, tomorrow, next week - no matter. I'm not foolin' around."
"I've never..." Reid trails off. He can't finish saying that to Morgan.
"Are you a virgin?" Morgan asks incredulously.
"What? No! I'm a grown man."
"Are you worried...this," Morgan pushed himself away, "is not just a fuck to me." He adjusted himself and then ran his hands over his scalp.
"Morgan!"
"I told you I want this and we can make - hell, you spend the night here more than you don't. And except for this right here, you're practically already mine. All that's left is telling the team and our folks."
Reid's eyebrow quirked, "I'm yours?"
"Even if you don't want more, I get it, but I still can't change...Kid, you know I love you. I can't keep pretending it's not true. Not after this."
"I'm yours?"
"Yes," Morgan forcefully crossed the kitchen until he was on top of Reid. Their noses were touching. "Tell me you're not."
"I can't," Reid kissed Morgan softly, " I won't."
Morgan chuckled.
Reid stepped back, "I've had intercourse twenty-two times with four different partners. Not one has ever been male."
"Oh."
"I'm not homosexual."
Morgan curses.
"Love isn't always about sex-"
"Reid, stop."
"No. No! I want what you want. This is all coming out awkward and wrong."
Morgan moved back toward the cold Chinese, shuffling the cartons around aimlessly.
Reid spoke up, "I'm scared. Not because I don't want you but because I do. What if I ruin everything we have because I don't know how to please you? Don't look at me like that. I know sex is very important to you. Like love is to me. I've never had both - I don't know if it's possible. But if it were to be possible, it would have to be, it could only be with you."
Morgan stilled. Tears threatened to break from his eyes, "I've never had both either."
Without looking at Reid, Morgan extended his arm out to reach for Reid's hand. Instead Reid rushed into Morgan for an embrace. Morgan snuggled him in tightly.
With his lips pressed against Morgan's temple Reid whispered, "I'm yours."
thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, and favorited my previous story. you definitely encouraged me to keep writing. i'm not sure where this came from, but you should write when it does come, right? thanks to my friend junie, who proofread this chap even though she's never seen CM. any and all mistakes remain mine. please tell me about my errors so i may improve.
if anyone wants to beta for me...i wouldn't refuse you. especially if you have a strong sense of Morgan and Reid's voices so you can slap me when they are ooc & if you're crafty with titles and descriptions. i suck at that - lol!