A/N: So, my first bellarke one-shot! Also: Although I let my sister (yeah... awkward...) proof read, the fact remains that we are both not native speakers. So, if anybody would like to volunteer as beta, I'd be more than happy!
I don't need you (but that doesn't mean I don't want you)
It started of normal enough.
Well, as normal as it could be for Bellamy to jerk off alone in his tent when there was sure to be a willing girl somewhere in camp. But he wanted to show all of them that he could be mature, that he didn't need another girl every night to boost his self-esteem, that he could be taken seriously as a leader and…what was the other thing Clarke was always going on about? Being a role model? Not that her opinion mattered in any way, really, like it was her place to decide who was leading them. HE was the leader, HE was the one people listened to. Not her.
So, of course, he was not doing this because of her, it was more like…like he wanted to prove he could abstain to himself. Yes, that was it. And prove to Clarke that she was in no place to judge him, that he was stronger than she thought. It really rubbed him the wrong way how she always held herself like she was so much better than him. He was educated, thank you very much, and nobody needed to tell him how to run things. He liked peace as well as the next person, but Clarke never seemed to get that not killing each other was more important than her ideas of how to install justice in a group of delinquents. Not everybody could go on and dream about ideal life forms or they would all die within days!
Great. Now he had gotten hard while he was still thinking about the Ark princess. Just fabulous. He blamed his body for moving already on its own volition although his mind clearly had not been ready and was still being fed up about their earlier argument. She had been high and mighty like always and he just got so annoyed about her blaming him for everything that went wrong. Like he didn't have more important things on his mind, and she should, too. She had gotten all upset about whatever, with her cheeks flushing angrily and her blue eyes blazing with fire. He wondered if she looked the same when she was worked up in a more pleasant way…
Great. And now he had gotten even harder. He tried to stop thinking about her breathing hard and looking worked up. So much energy locked in one person! Her hands had been on her hips and her lips had been recounting all his mistakes and those lips … dark red and so tempting…
His hands started to move quicker as he imagined what they would taste like. He bet they tasted like anger and passion and all her bottled up tension he could help her release. He would make her feel so good. She would get breathy, too, just like when they argued, but he would feel those little puffs against his lips and his skin while his fingers travelled down her neck and could finally, finally touch her breasts. When she was lecturing him, they were always moving because of her fast breathing and they had always had this magnetic pull…
He bet they tasted really, really good. Just like her mouth and the skin just below her throat. She would get all flustered then and maybe she would start touching him, too. Her hands that had so much power, that could bring life and death, caressing his skin and grasping his hair while he was kissing every inch of skin she would let him kiss…
He was panting now and he imagined her holding onto him, asking him for more, begging him for more. Moaning into his ear, trying to keep quiet so that the others wouldn't hear and then moaning his name…
He came hard. Way too hard. Way too fast. In his mind, he could still hear her voice and it gave him another jolt. Damn. Disgusted by himself, he cleaned up as good as possible. Really damn great. There he tried to be mature, to show Clarke that…
Damn. He was not getting hard again.