Shaw was surprised by her own behavior, sure she'd been mad before but she'd never felt this type of anger before. And now she was feeling shame, so much shame, she's never felt shame before. It left a very bad taste in her mouth and a nausea in her stomach. She could still feel the sting in the palm of her hand, the sting in her heart. The sight of Root with unshed tears, trying so hard to be strong, she was so strong. A hand clasped to her reddening cheek throbbing with it's own sting. Shaw had never slapped anyone before, she didn't do slapping, punching and shooting but not slapping. Staring at her hand like it didn't belong to her, she gulped for air and clenched her hand into a fist, breaking her gaze with the stunned hacker.
"Go away, Root." Shaw turned to leave, her composure crumbling.
"Sameen, wait…" Root reached out and grabbed her elbow only to her hand shrugged away and her body thrown against the wall to her bedroom, a hand at her throat.
"Why can't you listen to me for once!? Why can't you just give up? Why can't you just give up on me?"
There were tears in Shaw's eyes and it scared her to the core, fear...being afraid, it sucked. She'd never felt fear till now. Whatever Samaritan did to her, they tried to fix her, but they broke her. In giving her emotions, or at least turning them up, they broke her. She didn't know how to deal with these emotions. She felt weak and a liability. After all Root went through for her, the guilt, she just couldn't handle it. She had never really had to cope before. Her hand loosened and fell to grip at Root's jacket. A never ending look of what Shaw would have to admit was only love was staring back at her.
Shaw started to cry, had she ever cried in her life? Trying to gain her composure, she growled and desperately shook Root, "I'm broken, Root! They broke me, I don't know how to use emotions, I'm no use to anybody with emotions. So why can't you just leave me alone!?"
A tenderness warmed Root's eyes as she took the desperately grasping hands of Shaw and pulled them from her jacket, bringing them clasped in her hands to her mouth and gently kissed them never breaking her gaze, "No matter how awful you think it is, I promise you; you are not alone."
There it was, the reassurance Shaw needed, to be assured that she wouldn't be abandoned. Because she felt so inadequate because of these emotions. Root would never leave her. She couldn't handle another person she cared about leaving her alone again. Her father, her mother, Root. She couldn't lose Root too. She felt a sadness deep in her heart and love, she felt love. Collapsing into Root's arms they sunk to the floor. Shaw clinging to her as if her life depended on it. Trying to melt into her, she needed to be apart of Root, Root had always wanted to be apart of Shaw.
Wrapping her arms tightly around the crying Persian, Root let herself cry too, "Just please don't ever leave me alone again. My heart couldn't bear it, Sameen. I need you, she needs you, don't you ever think that no one needs you. We'll get through this...all of this. I'm not going to let anyone take you from us again."
Burying her face in Roots chest, "Idiot, you know I do the protecting."
Smiling, "Yeah, I know, but for now let me protect you, Sameen. Let us keep you safe, we failed you, I failed you. Its my fault that you're broken, my fault-if only I had been stronger...smarter-it was supposed to be me," tt was now Root who was grabbing desperately at Shaw, gritting her teeth, shaking with anxiety.
Sniffling Shaw chuckled and rested her forehead against Root's, "No one is more irritatingly smarter than you, Root. Freaking nerd. And yeah you're not really that strong, but that's what I'm for. You're the brains and I'm the brawns. Like you said, we're perfect for each other."
Root was blushing, she never thought that maybe someday would ever come. Maybe in another life. She laughed with happy tears jumping from her eyes and fell into a clumsy kiss with the flickering firecracker in front of her. There was that four alarm-fire spark burning there lips and pulling apart for air. Gasping, "Feelings suck, but what I'm feeling now, yeah I can live with this. This feeling I know all too well, even before," with dilated pupils blown with lust Shaw bit Root's lip and let her sink into her touch.
"Why Sam, I think I may need a demonstration of this feeling you're talking about."
"Shut up and kiss me, nerd."