I don't own the Avengers :)
Bruce could see very well in the dark. It was one of the odd after effects or the radiation. He could see the small details in the room usually lost in the dark; the Russian characters on the cover of Natasha's novel. The slim holes in the closet door from when Natasha threw her knives at it for target practice. The hinges on Bruce's glasses case, the little teeth on the zipper of Bruce's full backpack. He saw the tape holding the gauze onto Natasha's injured arm.
It had been a simple mission-a rather large group of mortal terrorists, no aliens or special powers to contend with- but obviously the simplest mission would yield the worst results. Nobody on the team was killed, but one floor up Clint "Hawkeye" Barton was sleeping fitfully while his left arm and leg were encased in plaster and his ribs tightly bandaged.
He had been so focused on Natasha -don't harm Natasha, keep her safe,she loves you don't let her down- that the others had slipped through. Luckily, Hawkeye's cry of pain had triggered something and The Hulk's grip around the mans torso slackened, but the damage to the ribs had been done. The fractures in the arm and leg were caused by The Hulk abruptly letting him go, from one extreme to another. Clint fell onto the jagged and uneven debris. It was very soon after that the mission had been completed. Fortunate, because it saved Clint from further danger, but unfortunate because Bruce was able to see the immediate after effects of The Hulks actions.
He felt responsible. The last few days he had been assured that nobody held it against him 'these things happen,' had been a common phrase from everybody except Natasha. She had said 'we're not mad at you.' No matter how similar those two things sounded they were drastically different. You can still be furious even if 'these things happen.' but 'we're not mad' meant that no matter how frequently said event happened you weren't mad. But no matter how many times she said it, it wasn't helping.
In the dark he saw the subtle change in Natasha's breathing as she woke up. Her hand splayed out across the bed to where Bruce would normally be present.
She turned to face him, her eyes opening lazily as she zoned in on him.
"Bruce," she whispered, "What are you doing?"
He snaked his hand down to the doorknob of the bathroom door.
"Just going to the bathroom, I had a lot of tea. Go back to sleep." he twists the knob and enters the already lit bathroom. He closes the door and waits in silence, he hears the springs in the bed squeak as she lays back down, unsuspecting of anything.
He heaves a guilty sigh looking to the counter where his letter to her is laid. He could recite the letter on command, it was engraved into his mind because of all the effort he'd put into it. It was just a simple sheet of notebook paper with his cramped writing on it, nothing special except the message.
Natasha,
This is not a suicide note, seeing as the choice of suicide isn't an option. But even though I'm still alive, you cannot go looking for me. Please.
I know you have the means and could track me down in a day, you could come find me but I ask that you don't try. Don't ask SHEILD, don't ask Tony, don't even try yourself. You can't be around me.
Don't tell the team at least not right away. Let them warm up to the idea of not having me around. They might find they enjoy it without me, no time bomb to defuse.
You can't be too surprised that I left. You know now I can't be around people who care about me, you see it doesn't work. You're smart, you'll realize it's for the best.
You're smart, Natalia Romanova, you're beautiful, strong, wonderful and loyal. I however, beg you to let your loyalty take a backseat and forget about me.
There's one thing you can't forget though. Maybe you'll forget that I asked you not to find me. Maybe you'll forget that I asked you to not tell the team. But don't forget what I'm about to say, don't ever.
Please remember that I love you, i love you with all my heart. If you remember that you'll understand why you shouldn't see me. It won't hurt as much for me if -even though I can't see you, or touch you or kiss you- I know your safe. When you're around me your not safe Natasha, and that fact was highlighted with what happened to Clint;he's lucky he wasn't killed. It could have been you. I don't want to harm you, I don't -god forbid- want to put you at risk of death.
I love you. Please remember that, for me.
Bruce Banner
Now, I am continuing this. I think I'll update weekly if I'm not pressured to update more frequently. But I did just get hired so if I'm working a lot...But as soon as possible I promise, because everything is written and )thisclose( to being 100% completely edited.
I promise a roller coaster for your feels. Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha.