He had remained several hours there, at the shore of avalon's lake. Completely devastated, crying the loss of the best friend he ever had, his brother. He went now, with sorrow bouncing his every steps, on his way back. Each step heavier than they had never been. After a moment, he stopped in an area of the forest not far from the lake where the high priestess of the old religion was, laying on the ground, eyes closed. After all the sorrow that she made him undergo, he didn't believe he could've found the strenght to return but, to bury morgana was more for him than a duty within the meaning of dignity. He felt the need to do it. Despite everything, despite the anger he had toward her, after all, the truth was that he still felt sorry for her. In the end, to bury morgana seemed to him the least he could do. Because the truth was he had never been proud nor satisfied to abandon her and to destroy the woman he loved when all she needed was a hand. It's the reason that pushed him to return, to bury morgana. To be there and to do something for her. To give her the last dignity that remained.
With a hard stare, mingled and heavy emotions, he remained a moment upright, close to her motionless body, looking at her. The more merlin looked at her, the more his hard expression changed. To look at her was disconcerting. Many years had gone by since he last saw her this way. Her face was soft, she seemed to know a peace she had lost many years before dying on this ground from the lake. Curiously, to look at her soft face recalled him the morgana he once loved. Admittedly, he hated who she had become and his anger was of a great violence,but as strong as his anger was, as hurt as he was by her betrayal, there's a part of his heart that was always going to be hers. He used to love her in a way that never he could love another woman and despite everything they've been through, he was always going to miss who she once was and he would never cease regretting that he lost her. Always upright, motionless, he continued to look at her. His stare lost, little by little of its hardness to be replaced by a bitterness mingled with a deep empty feeling. As if part of him was dead. After a moment of silence, he extended his hand beside morgana towards the ground and said « bedelfan ». His eyes changed to a gold color and a hole was formed beside the high priestess. The size and depth to accommodate in the ground this woman so young and yet so old from what she had been through. A cluster of the soil which was in the hole deposited itself on the ground. He took a deep breath and squatted beside her. He remained there, still quiet, staring at this woman whom he had loved so much in vain. Never he had found a woman as beautiful as her. Even with her black dress, her hair in every directions and dirtiness on her soft white skin, she was still beautiful. Merlin couldn't believe that looking at her could still hurt him this much even at this moment. With time, he had grown accustomed to be hurt by looking at her. The pain had lost some of its freshness. But at this time, to see her with such a soft face gave him a pain he would've not believe possible. He felt transported in the past, several years earlier, at the time when her smile and her voice were so soft, warm and tender. How many time had he dreamed of her soft smile and her tender voice. He took a moment recover, then he took her in his arms and gently deposited her at the bottom of the hole which he had made for her.
He remained there, at the edge of the hole, still squatted and took a second deep breath. Then, he lowered his head with regret and he whispered « I'm sorry ». Thus, he remained several minutes, his head bowed in a silence which expressed more than a thousand words. After a moment, he extended its hands in front of him and closed them together. He said « Blóstma ». His eyes changed color and turned gold. He opened his hands and a flower was inside. With a sad expression mingled with an empty feeling, he deposited the flower over morgana. He looked at her a moment, then his features slightly hardened. His emotions were as heavy as they were intermingled. Although, his sadness wasn't as big and fresh as it was a few years earlier, he was still pained for her. He was pained because he lost her, pained because of the way he broke her heart and still unsatisfied. He also felt anger because she had taken everything he cherished, and herself was a part of it, and despite everything, he was always going to miss her. It was not much to give her this flower, and at the same time it was something extremely big. It was, in some ways, to recognize the place she once had in his heart and the desolation he felt. It was to give her the last thing he was able to give even if he knew that to kill her had been, at this time, the only solution and that she deserved it in the end. In some ways, the flower also expressed his regret, because he could never forget that to poison her had been a mistake. It was something, among so many others, which would always remain with him and would never heal completely. Then, the wizard rose, his glance landed on the soil clustered near morgana's burial tomb. His eyes turned gold and the ground returned over morgana to cover her and thus, close the burial tomb he made for her. Then, his eyes landed on a cluster of rocks which was not far, he said « gemyndstów ». His eyes took the gold color again and a small marked grave was formed on the ground where morgana was buried. Perhaps in other circumstances, merlin would have taken the time to make the marked grave with his own hands, but after everything he's been through the last day, he had very little energy and will to do anything. He remained there, staring at morgana's tomb for a while. Then he took a slight breath, turned and moved on to continue his road. As he was now accustomed to do since many years. Although it had not been easy to take the life of the woman he used to love so much, as difficult as it was to look at his fallen love in an eternal rest and put her in the ground, the truth is he was already mourning her loss since many years. When he left far away from this tomb, he left with a heavy heart filled with many emotions as distant as they were varied. He was leaving away from her, but deep in his heart, he would never stop missing her smile, even though he wished he could forget her for ever, her beautiful smile and her cry as he poisonned her would always stay…