Moon drops
Faster.
He had to run so much faster than this. Because if he did, the reality won't catch him, right? It wouldn't get to him; force him to look at it, right?
Endless streets, Sun setting down slowly, lamps with their gentle, yellow light illuminating roads, houses, trees. Snow fluttering around slowly, melting as it touches the ground. It all passed him by as he ran.
Faster. He had to go faster. Until his legs are numb. Until his chest has no air, until his mind is completely blank and void of everything he saw today. He'll run. He can run.
Until he collapses on the ground. He wants to cry, but he can't find tears. He wants to scream, but he can't find voice. So he just laid there, between the trees, on hard, cold ground, staring at the people passing him by, slowly. They couldn't see him, but he could see them. He watched their feet making sluggish trek from work, going home to hide from the cold.
Kei welcomed the winter's cold. It was way better than what he witnessed today. It was way better than the lies that are piercing harder than the chilly nights. He was lied to. Why? He never lied to him; he told him it was bad to tell lies. So why did he lie to Kei?
The air slowly filled his lungs, and Kei could feel the tears burning in the corner of his eyes. One, two, three… one after the other, they streamed down his cheek and feel on the earth beneath him. Slowly but surely, sobs started shaking his small body, and Kei couldn't stop them.
He couldn't run away. No matter how fast he ran. The feeling of betrayal caught up with him in blink of an eye.
Kei didn't know how long he was lying like that, on the cold ground. His consciousness floated between a dream, tired of crying, and reality, while snow started piling up around him. The sound of squeaking tires and metal floated somewhere in the back of his mind. And when he heard soft footsteps making their way over to him, Kei still didn't move.
"Hey. Hey. Are you alright?"
A small hand shook his shoulder then touched his cheek. It felt hot. He hated it.
"Whoa, you're frozen!" The same, feverishly hot hand, tugged on the back of his clothes. "Get up, get up! You'll get really sick here! Come on!"
"Don't care…"
"Of course you do! Now get up."
No matter how many times Kei said to leave him be, the voice just didn't give up. It relentlessly repeated to get up, to get up and come with him somewhere. It talked about warmth, tea, kotatsu, tangerines and cozy clothes.
It kept on tugging until it made Kei sit up. His sight was all blurry and his glasses had fallen from his face, but they were handed to him by that small hand. Reluctantly accepting them, Kei put them back on and wiped his cheek. It was dirty from the earth.
When he finally faced the annoyingly persistent voice, he was greeted with gentle smile and mop of messy, orange hair.
"I'm Shouyo. I live ten minutes from here! We will be there in no time. Come on!"
Kei didn't know if he was that light, or if this kid was that strong, but he was easily hauled on his feet. He stopped protesting. His mind was numb, his thoughts scattered.
"Whoa! You're so tall! That's amazing! I will be really tall as well one day, you'll see."
The kid was indeed short. Whole head shorter than Kei. But it seemed that Shouyo didn't mind the height difference and started tugging him towards the road. Where are they going again? Ah, his home.
"I'll push the bike so we can go together. What's your name?" This mindless chatter was welcome. It had his mind thinking about things not related to his current problem. Shouyo didn't ask about what happened, nor how he got up the hill and fell. No "why's", no "how's", no "what's". Just prompting him to go forward, to walk, to move away from here.
"Kei," he answered silently. And started walking.
-0-0-0-
'Why did I dream about that now?' Kei thought grumpily as he stared at the ceiling of the room. They were in the middle of the training camp; he should be getting enough sleep to go through the tiring day of practice, not be awake at 6:15am.
He turned his head and looked at Yamaguchi who was blissfully sleeping next to him, hugging the pillow and drooling slightly. On the other side of Tsukishima was Kageyama, both hands above his head. Tsukishima snorted, 'He's setting even while he sleeps.' Talk about having volleyball instead of brain in the head.
Kei sat up and rubbed his neck, small chill going down his spine. That dream… everything happened so long time ago that he almost forgot about it. And he kind of did want to forget about it. He grabbed his glasses and turned to look at where Hinata usually sleeps, on the other side of Kageyama. Only to find his futon empty.
'That idiot's probably out running,' Tsukishima thought with a snort and proceeded to get up. There's no way he'll be able to fall asleep now, not after having that dream. He'll go for a walk until everyone gets up for breakfast and the training that follows. He has nothing else to do.
Grabbing the headphones and his phone, Tsukishima left the sleeping area quietly, not wanting to wake up anyone. He needed some time by himself, to cleanse his brain from the onslaught of memories that were forced upon it.
-0-0-0-0-
"Whoa! What's up with this rain?!"
"Hinata you dumbass, get inside! You'll catch cold!"
Tsukishima glanced at the bickering duo from the corner where he was sitting. He was taking a break while others from his team were practicing serving.
The heavy mood from this morning didn't leave him be. It clung onto him like drenched clothes from the rain. And other people noticed that, so he was left alone for the bigger part of the day.
"I won't! But it just started falling out of a sudden! Uwah! Lightning!"
In the end, Hinata was grabbed by the back of his collar and dragged inside.
"Let go off me! Gah! You're choking me stupid Kageyama!"
Tsukishima didn't notice when Yamaguchi appeared next to him. He's been staring at the crazy duo way too intently to pay attention.
"Tsukki, you're smiling."
"Huh? What are you talking about Yamaguchi?"
The freckled boy just shrugged and looked at where Tsukishima was staring previously. "You were smiling, that's all. It was a nice sight." With that, he picked up the ball that rolled to his feet and ran off to practice his serve.
Smiling? Him? Tsukishima didn't believe it one second. He wasn't smiling. He was just amused by the idiots. That doesn't count as a smile.
Tsukishima looked back at Hinata- he was holding back of his head and muttering something darkly behind Kageyama's back. Yes, he was just amused. There's nothing else to it. Yamaguchi's being his crazy self as always.
-0-0-0-
"The rain is not letting up," Daichi murmured, looking through the window.
"Yeah. We couldn't go train outside today because of it," Sugawara pitched in with slightly damp look on his face. "What a waste."
"Thirty more minutes until the dinner guys!" Tanaka bellowed from the other side of the gym, waking up tired members of Karasuno.
There were shouts of "Yay!" and "Finally!" all around the place.
In his elation about upcoming dinner (there was meat on the menu), Hinata served the ball towards the net too low. And it hit Tsukishima right in the back of his head, knocking his glasses off. '…I will murder him…' Tsukishima thought as he heard someone running up to him.
"TSUKISHIMA! I'M SORRY I'M SORRY!"
Before he could orient himself, Hinata was standing in front of him, holding up his glasses.
"I'm sorry! I got excited about dinner and I didn't pay attention and they are not broken, are they!?"
"Stop yelling," Tsukishima grumbled, taking his glasses back. His fingers brushed the other's hand, for just one, short second.
'Wake up, don't lie here, it's cold…'
It was warm. His hand was still as warm as it was back then. Some things never change, Tsukishima guessed. The distant look on his face apparently made Hinata worried because he was assaulted with more questions and clinging.
"King, get your servant off of me…" was a halfhearted complaint that got mad reactions from both Hinata and Kageyama. There, the memory is gone.
Easy.
-0-0-0-
The rain turned into a very slow, light drizzle. On the veranda, Tsukishima was sitting on the bench, legs crossed, listening to music on his headphones. It was a slow melody he usually listens to before going to sleep. There was full moon outside, making the drops of rain look like pearls as they fell. The mountains were quiet, so very quiet. The whole atmosphere was calming him down and Tsukishima was starting to doze away.
A small hand landed on his shoulder, waking him up.
"You shouldn't sleep here…" Tsukishima heard through the music on his headphones. He pulled them down and turned his head to look at Hinata.
"I wasn't."
"Yes you were. You didn't notice me coming out."
"…"
When Hinata didn't get response, he circled around the bench and sat down on the other side of Tsukishima.
"Sorry about earlier."
"As long as you don't do it again."
"Can't promise that, heh."
"Hm."
Silence. Only the sound of rain falling, hitting the leaves, the ground, the roof. The light from the inside of the room was now turned off. They are leaving tomorrow so Daichi didn't bother to call them in- they get to sleep in.
Silence.
It felt weird, but in a good way, Tsukishima decided. It was very rare for Hinata to be silent, so Tsukishima learned to appreciate the moment when he was. The moment when he wasn't talking about volleyball, about food, about other people.
"It's nice out here," he added in hushed voice. Tsukishima glanced at him before looking at the scenery below them.
"It's quiet," Tsukishima added, entwining his fingers on his lap. Hinata smiled and brought up his legs and leaned on Tsukishima's side, head with orange locks resting gently on his shoulder. A beat passed.
"Moon drops."
"…what?"
"My sister calls the rain drops on full moon 'moon drops' because they look like full moon."
"Your sister is weird."
Hinata laughed softly: "I guess I'm weird too then."
"No one ever said otherwise," Tsukishima added, feeling smirk tugging on his lips.
"Hey now, that's mean," Hinata complained, but one could clearly hear the smile behind it. "But I do like the name. It's fitting and makes sense."
"To you everything makes sense."
"…not really…"
Tsukishima glanced down. Hinata wasn't looking at him, but he could clearly see rain reflecting in those eyes. Drop by drop. Moon drops.
"I had a weird dream last night… it felt like it was a distant memory though…"
Tsukishima remained silent. Memories… what are the odds of them sharing same dream on same night? Hinata's probably talking about something else, something not related to what happened those years ago. Right…?
"…it didn't make much sense to me… but that's okay. It wasn't unpleasant. It just… made me nostalgic."
"What was the dream about?"
"Snow, which was weird because winter passed. And I was driving my bicycle. And I held someone's hand under the kotatsu as they cried." Hinata sighed.
'I don't know why are you crying, but it's okay. It's no good to hold it in if you're sad you know. Your mom will come to pick you up soon so don't worry.
Don't worry Kei, it will be okay…'
"Weird dream, huh?"
Tsukishima was brought from his memories with Hinata's low voice. "…yes. Weird dream."
"Hmm…"
Hinata shifted and sat up properly, then got off the bench. He stood there for a few moments before looking at Tsukishima, giving him a smile. "I'm going to bed. You should too. Don't catch cold."
"I won't," he answered, trying to sound disinterested. It seemed to be working because Hinata's smile disappeared slowly from his face. He stood there, in front of Tsukishima, hands clenched on his chest. The unwavering stare felt like a burn on his face because Hinata wasn't looking away. He wasn't going anywhere. He wasn't blinking even. It was unsettling, Tsukishima didn't like that.
"…come with me."
"What?"
"Come with me." Hinata repeated. "Inside…" 'where it's warm…'
"I'm not-"
"Come with me."
Tsukishima protested. Or at least attempted to. But once warm, smaller hand took his and tugged him forward, he felt his legs move on their own. The fact that Hinata could pull him around like this irritated him. He wished he didn't remember, he wished he could forget and pretend that nothing of importance happened that day. To just sit down and let time pass by and people leave him be.
But Hinata didn't let him. Hinata refused to let him be. He despised it. It frustrated him to the core of his being and yet… here he is. Complying with Hinata's wish. Moving forward without wanting to. Becoming someone, something worthwhile and person people will pay attention to.
'It will be okay,' Hinata said. And it was. Around Hinata, everything was okay. It was okay to cry, to be angry, in bad mood, it was okay to complain and yell, it was okay to be disappointed and happy and resentful.
Hinata didn't lie. He was okay.
-0-0-0-