Disclaimer: As always, I merely play with the characters and promise to give them back to Auntie Beeb at home time. Another big thank you to my lovely beta, QuestionablyInsane who checked this over for me.
I should also mention that credit for the term 'verbal sparring' must be given to the wonderful 'A little bit of Leddi' tumblr where their relationship is analysed episode by episode, worth checking out!
Reviews are always welcomed and loved :)
"What did you say came after sleeping together but before Ikea?"
"A date."
"Ah, a date"
"Yeah, weird isn't it?"
"Yeah, it's a bit weird. Suppose we could give it go though, maybe?"
"Okay."
After fumbling his way through the most awkward 5 minutes of his life, during which he'd panicked that she'd leave, kissed her to shut up, actually shown his emotions, and been told to go and get changed like he was 5 years old, Luc headed back to his van. He wasn't sure how he'd managed to save it, how he'd managed to regain equilibrium from the nosedive it had been taking. He really didn't have a clue what he was doing; relationships didn't come easy to him. It was obvious in his day-to-day reactions, where he'd inevitably upset or offend someone and occasionally even be threatened with formal complaints. There would also be at least one curt conversation or argument with another colleague, these days it was invariably Eddi. Their verbal sparring had become more of a sport, something that he relished rather than actual dislike or rivalry. Sacha had once said that if he'd didn't know better he'd think they were flirting.
He'd clearly messed up by bolting that morning and he had a feeling that might be the case when he saw her at work. But she hadn't helped by shrugging it off. He'd never understood why people said one thing but felt another; if she didn't tell him what was wrong how could he fix it? He may be the master of burying his head in the sand and ignoring things, but he could never be accused of being ambiguous. All this business of crossed wires and mixed signals and saying "yes it's fine" to mean "no you messed up", was yet another reason he did not enjoy the complicated dance of human relationships.
He rarely navigated the murky waters of his own emotions let alone begin to understand someone else's, or know what to do in a relationship. But what he did know is that he wanted to try, because when she'd threatened to leave he knew he couldn't let her. He did want to give this a go, whatever 'this' was and whatever it involved, even though it was truly terrifying. Ultimately, he was prepared to try because it was Eddi.
She, of course, was stubborn and unhelpful to the end, not giving him an inch. His mind flicked frantically through things to say that would make her turn back; he ignored completely the hollow, meaningless and over used sentiments. Instead he'd dredged up her funny little speech from that morning, the speech that had trapped him and eventually caught him out, and in the end had made him propose a date.
This was how he came to be stood in his contradiction of a home: somewhere that was permanent but never rested in one place, wondering what exactly constituted a date. Weird hadn't been the right word, more like downright petrifying. He'd sooner face both Hanssen and Jac Naylor on their worst days than mess this up. He knew that he was skating on thin ice, and that he couldn't afford to be the one to make such a huge mistake again. And given that he had not really been on an official date, and he usually had very different ideas on social events to most people, it was not beyond the realm of possibility that this could all go pear shaped. However, he did know the basics. One thing about working in hospitals is that people talk a lot; he would often hear even when he didn't want to, as it was of no consequence to him. In the end he pieced together the 3 things he thought were probably the most important: Something she liked, something he did, and nothing fancy.
OOO
Eddi's dread grew with every step she took across the park not too far away from the hospital. It was a pitch black, chilly night in early autumn and she was using a mini torch that she kept clipped on her keys to try and pick her way along the path, though it wasn't very effective. He hadn't called her, just sent her a text to meet him here.
Luc Hemmingway was by far the most complicated and infuriating man she'd ever met. He was as changeable as the weather, said the most inappropriate things, and dished out sarcastic comments like they were going out of fashion. But underneath all that, there was a man who cared and who was vulnerable. She'd seen that tonight and although she was apprehensive about this date and what might follow, she hadn't been able to stop smiling since they'd parted.
When she reached the summit of the hill, she saw him. Well at first, she saw a mass of candles and lamps which encircled a huge blanket that was laid across the damp grass. Luc was sat to one side, a cool box next to him. She began to laugh; only he would think this a suitable thing to do as date.
"Luc, I know you're not into the whole social scene but surely you should know that people tend to have picnics in the day and in the summer when it is warm."
"Hello to you too" he replied, handing her a glass of something red and fizzy. "I'll grant you the night bit, but seeing as we agreed to do this now when it is neither warm nor light I can't do a lot about it. And you can't tell me you haven't been to at least one picnic where you've come away frozen to the bone?"
She considered him for a moment, pulling her sleeves down to cover her hands more fully, and grudgingly took the glass.
"Hm alright," she agreed plopping down next to him before folding her legs underneath her. She did have to admit that the view set before her, for an urban scene it was quite breathtaking: the whole of Holby, illuminated by a sea of artificial lights twinkling like fallen stars. She was hit with a stark contrast when she turned and looked behind them, the darkness made the park seem as if it might go on forever, into infinity. The prospect at what was out there made her shiver.
Luc watched her expectantly as though seeking reassurance; she could tell by the tense set of his shoulders he was uncomfortable. Ignoring that for now, she quizzed him on matters of the stomach.
"So come on then Hemmingway, what are you feeding me tonight?"
"As demanding as ever Nurse McKee. Well, I was short of time and resources but decided on something simple and warm." He reached into the cool box and pulled out two packages of silver foil handing one to her.
She balanced her glass between her knees and opened her food parcel, a familiar savoury smell hitting her nostrils.
"Fish finger sandwiches?"
"You don't like them." He stated tonelessly, panic creasing into lines round his eyes.
"No, I don't" his face fell further, "I love them; they're one of my favourites."
He exhaled in relief.
"I know that you once said that next to bacon sandwiches they are the second best cure for hangovers."
She was surprised he'd remembered that as it was related to drinking, but she guessed he was trying to give her something she liked to limit the chances of tonight being a failure.
"I did," she confirmed "and my friend Tracey and I used to make them after school sometimes, and chat about the mundane school dramas, which seem ridiculous now but were life changing then."
They began to eat and it wasn't until Eddi was on her second sandwich that she remembered about her drink, she didn't even bother to ask what it was assuming sparkling fruit juice. She was taken aback when it hit her taste buds.
"Wow, that grape juice has got quite a buzz to it."
He looked sheepish,
"I er, thought seeing as I was dragging you out here, you might want something to warm you up so to speak."
It was true, although she had on a cream hoody and her black jacket over the top, it was a chilly night.
"And if that didn't work, there's this" he pulled out another blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders; this one was plain red in design. For someone who was so devoid of sympathy at times, it was such a delicate, caring gesture.
She hid her smile by taking another bite. He had grilled them just right, spread a little butter on thick white bread and plenty of tomato sauce. The continued to eat, and chat, and the ever changing dynamic between them that had been hesitant and unsure after last night's revelations and the day's events, began to shift again into something akin to comfortable and relaxed.
He brought out pudding next which was a generous piece of chocolate cake arranged on silver paper plate. She grinned at the sight of it.
"You are bad for a girl, all these calories in one sitting."
"Well it isn't quite the Ritz, but it is hard to get a table at such short notice" he teased.
She laughed at that, her head falling backwards, her lighter longer hair falling out from behind her ear. The entire movement, illuminated by candlelight was one of the prettiest sights he had witnessed. He was surprised at himself for noticing that. He also thought it wise not to mention it: he didn't think Eddi would appreciate being called pretty.
"I like it, it's different" she commented.
He hesitated and looked down through the circle of his arms, which were clasped at his knees, his own glass of punch held redundantly in his hands – yet another thing he'd done for her, she noted.
"I used to spend a lot of time out in the open on my travels, watching the sun rise and set in a different place each night. It was a place where I was alone with the vastness of nature, away from people and busy cities. I was constantly seeing the world from a different angle, never doing the same thing. Right now most people in this city will have lived her a while, some most of their lives. Yet here we are, sat here eating in the dark, in a cold deserted park whilst the world carries on below us. Here I'm separate, apart, and free from routine, from what society expects us to do. Here, there's no one else."
"I'm here.'
He looked at her then and saw that she'd been focussing on him all along whilst he'd been looking away. He was afraid of her reaction, yes, but mostly he was afraid of how he'd feel sharing all that with someone else. And those two simple words banished any doubt he'd had. They were a confirmation that it was okay, they were okay.
"Yes."
There was nothing else to say, nothing that wouldn't be superfluous.
A movement overhead distracted their attention, and something small and extremely agile darted above them completing a circle before disappearing back into the trees.
"Was that..."
"...a bat, yes. There are quite a few up here, I thought it may be a little bit cold for their prey but there's obviously something that has them out hunting," he explained.
A few minutes later there was another flash of movement, erratic and far too fast for them to follow fully, though its flight pattern was the same.
"There were two that time" she exclaimed. "I can't believe that I've never seen bats before. Granted, you don't see much because they're too quick, but it's brilliant."
He grinned,
"Well you clearly don't hang around in wooded areas or near lakes enough then, although they do occasionally get lost and end up in suburban areas particularly loft spaces. These are pipistrelles they..."
She stared at him and he stopped mid explanation of the species of bat, his elation at seemingly succeeding to make her happy had clearly made him careless.
"Too much?"
"No, well maybe, I just didn't expect you to be a bat expert that's all. You're full of surprises."
"Well, I do have one more surprise" he extracted a bag of marshmallows from his supplies and her eyes widened, "though it does require that we go inside, because I don't have a flask so we can drink it out here."
"Hot chocolate and marshmallows" she guessed smiling again.
They packed everything away, and with the help of a heavy duty torch they wound their way safely back to the car park, together.
OOO
"You didn't!"
"Well what did you expect me to do? I'd been invited to eat with them and it is a delicacy in that part of the world. It would have been rude to refuse."
She screwed her nose up and squirmed.
"It sounds like a bushtucker trial from 'I'm a celebrity...' "
"It was perfectly fine" he insisted airily. She fixed him with a sceptical glare, and the weight of her sock covered foot on his under the table all contributed to him caving in.
"Okay, okay, it was awful, insects are all wings and legs and it did taste very bitter."
He looked down into his mug which was empty and held his hand out for hers. He busied himself with the washing up whilst she watched; it was so relaxed he almost imagined that this might become a regular thing, that it wouldn't be bad to let another person into his life at all.
The contentment dulled slightly when he thought about what he should do next. Eddi rose, perhaps to collect her shoes and go, he didn't know but for the meantime she saw his hesitance and came to stand in front of him. He decided on just being honest.
"I, erm, have one more suggestion but I'm not sure if..." he trailed off hoping that he might find his answers in her expression, but for the second time that evening he realised he was completely on his own: he was going to have to work it out himself.
Oh to hell with it.
Finally, he gave in to the urge he'd had ever since she'd told him she'd like his date; he took her face in his hands and kissed her. He felt her smile in response, and she pulled back just enough to whisper against his lips.
"Right answer."
He reclaimed her lips fiercely, glad, so glad. And amidst the haze of want and relief, something subconsciously changed his thinking. He'd always classed hospitals as his safe place, his haven. But right then, at that moment he knew everything was just as it should be. The warmth of her lips, her acceptance of him despite everything. It was just this place and them. Luc and Eddi. It was enough.