The Shadow's Light

by LadyHitachiin

She had thrown herself into the darkness, forcing herself to go through a personal hell, all for the sake of the loved ones she had to leave behind. Now, with a double-edged sword in her heart, she would find love in the most unexpected of places. In order for there to be a shadow, there had to be light somewhere in the darkness.

1. A Personal Hell

Title: The Shadow's Light

Genre: Romance/Angst

Language: English

Rating: M

Pairing: Feitan & Sakura Haruno, Ino & Shalnark

Summary: She had thrown herself into darkness, forcing herself to go through a personal hell, all for the sake of the loved ones she had to leave behind. Now, with a double-edged sword in her heart, she would find love in the most unexpected of places. In order for there to be a shadow, there had to be light somewhere in the darkness.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Hunter x Hunter nor do I make any money from my writings.

Warnings: This fic has a lot of angst, mentions character death, contains implied torture, foul language, violence, sexual situations, etc. I'll try not to make anything too graphic, but if you don't like or can't handle that type of plot line, then please stop reading now.

A/N: However, if you do choose to continue to read, please enjoy. This is my first time writing out a Hunter x Hunter story, but I think I got a good grasp on Feitan's character. Although, I would still like some pointers and some friendly criticism on what I'm doing wrong. Also, Sakura will be ooc at first, but there is a good reason for that and she will grow into her original character as the story continues. I know that can be a main reason that will turn readers away, but please be patient and read on.

This will take place after the last season of Hunter x Hunter 2011 and a year or so after Naruto: The Last movie so Sakura is between twenty and twenty-one. From what I can find, Feitan's age isn't known and he doesn't even know his birthday, so I'll just make him around Sakura's age. I apologize to SasuSaku fans in advance. I'll also place warnings at the beginnings of each chapter so its not a complete shocker whenever something graphic comes up.

Warnings for this chapter: mentions of character death and foul language. Nothing too bad.

So with the introduction out of the way, please read and enjoy. :)

Chapter One: A Personal Hell

Blood. There was blood everywhere. It was on the ground. It was raining from the sky. It was in her hair. In her eyes. On her hands.

Blood.

It was everywhere.

Where was it coming from?

Where was she?

Jade orbs skimmed rapidly around for anything that could tell her what was going on. Her pale hands were held up in front of her, her palms facing toward the dark sky above her. Crimson drops landed on the smooth skin, starting in small, few amounts until slowly building up into a harsh shower. Short, choppy hair that was normally a bright pink weighed down heavily against sweat-slicked skin. What was pink was now a deep maroon, the original color having been dyed with the liquid that poured down upon her.

Her mind raked with questions as she looked at the empty and dark scenery around her. She was so confused. How did she get there? Where did everyone go? Whose blood was this? Why was it falling from the sky? That wasn't normal. Then again, what was normal anyway?

Standing in the standard shinobi garb and green vest, the kunoichi looked down at her palms, only for her eyes to widen at the sight. Blood. She had expected it to cover her completely, but she sensed that something was different about the blood on her hands. It represented something far darker.

What did it mean? Whose blood was this?

"Sakura."

The female jumped slightly, startled by the sudden presence behind her. Then, her heart skipped a beat from hearing that distressed voice. It belonged to someone dear to her. She was relieved to hear his voice, but the fact that he sounded like he was in pain filled her with dread and worry. Slowly turning, she prepared herself for the worst. After all, Sasuke was one of the strongest people she knew and he rarely showed that he was in any pain, even with the most gruesome of injuries.

What could have happened to him?

Slowly. So slowly, her eyes landed on him and they instantly widened while the corners began to fill with tears. The man that she had come to think was nearly invincible was covered in blood. He was hunched over, blood falling from his mouth and his hand covering a large wound over his chest. Right where his heart was.

Blood.

So much blood.

Why was he bleeding?

"Sasuke." she whispered, in shock at the scene before her. She couldn't help him. She couldn't. There was a hole in his chest that her arm could fit through and where his heart should be, there was only blood dripping from the flesh around it. She couldn't save him. How was he even able to stand at all?

She couldn't save him.

"Who did this to you?"

His dark eyebrows narrowed and with his bangs covering his Rinnegan, she saw his red eye glare darkly at her. Looking deep within his one visible eye, she felt her heart drop into her stomach and her throat went dry. Goosebumps rose on her skin even with the warm liquid still raining down on them and a cold sweat tickled at the back of her neck, so strong that it made her head ache. She could see her own demise in that eye of his. It made her breathless. The hatred he held for her was strong and a sense of betrayal was clear for her to see as well.

"You did."

At that moment, everything seemed to freeze around her as if time had stopped completely. Unfortunately for her, it wasn't her time that had stopped, but her will to live. She felt the life drain out of her body, causing her muscles to give out on her. The kunoichi fell down to her knees, into the pool of the crimson liquid at her feet. The spark and brightness in her eyes left her gradually as the memories began to pour into her mind.

Did she do that to Sasuke?

Yes. . .

. . . She did.

She killed Sasuke. . .

. . . She killed him.

The first thing that she saw when she opened her dazed eyes was the weary and glum ceiling above her. There was mold gathering in the corners of the room, having gathered moisture from the weather that surrounded the abandoned shack she resided in momentarily. Apparently, the area was known for it's rainy season. She could see why the family that lived there would leave. It was difficult to breathe with the thick moisture in the air.

Sitting up on the ragged cot that she found a few hours prior, she ran her hand through her pink bangs while ignoring the squealing from the bed-springs underneath her. All that separated her from that rusty metal was a flimsy mattress that had questionable stains on it. She made a short mental note of them when she approached the twin-sized bed, but she had been too weary when she got there to give a damn. If the foul smell that protruded from it when she laid down on it didn't bother her, then a few cum and blood stains weren't going to do anything to make her get rid of her nonexistent dinner from last night.

Lowering her hand from her head, she pulled up her legs so that her knees were in front of her chest. Draping her arms over her knees, she looked lazily at the fire pit directly across from her on the opposite side of the room. There was a kettle that looked worn out in the pit, but the only thing that had been inside of it were who knew how many creatures and insects. At that moment, there was a large spider staring back at her, it's head and legs poking over the edge of it to inspect her. Webs were connecting the kettle with the walls of the fire pit and it seemed that the spider had made itself quite comfortable in the abandoned space. She figured she was probably intruding on it in some way.

As if there wasn't enough room for the both of them.

Blinking at the creature, Sakura figured it was related to the Tarantula in some way. Then again, she wouldn't really know. She absolutely hated spiders, so whenever she had to get the venom from one, she would ask someone else to get it for her. She preferred to stay as far away from them as possible. However, at that moment, she couldn't care less about it as long as it stayed where it was and away from her. She wasn't in the mood to be bothered.

Lowering her empty eyes down toward the bare mattress beneath her, the images of her dream ran through her mind once again. It was the same dream every night. A constant reminder of that hell she put herself and so many others through. Sometimes the dreams would be longer, more vivid, as if she were reliving the tragedy of that day all over again. Other times, she would be lucky like tonight and only have a short encounter with the man of her dreams, and lately, her nightmares.

Letting out a sigh, Sakura lowered her legs down to the side and placed her bare feet on the cold ground. Normally, she would grimace at the sight of multiple cockroaches scurrying off from the invading appendages that found their way beside them, but she was used to the tiny creatures by then. Her eyes skimmed over the various holes in the floorboards and the trash left behind by the previous family. It was obviously just junk that they didn't want anymore or didn't feel like cleaning up, which would explain why such a small, shitty bed was left behind, but no other beds were. It had to be at least one adult and child, judging from the rag doll left in a corner and a bottle half filled with alcohol knocked over on the floor. Well, the bottle and the used condom that she saw underneath the bed last night when she approached it were obvious hints. Either an adult lived here or some drunk couple thought it would be romantic to have sex in such a disgusting shack, where a piece of wilted fruit in the corner had a small, moving tree sprouting from the middle of it. The visitors would have had to fight off the ants and roaches carrying off crumbs of food if they wanted something to eat, had they not brought something of their own.

Tired of sharing the same space with the filthy shack, Sakura got off of the bed and the screeching of the bed springs met her ears. Her black shorts stuck to the back of her thighs with her sweat. Even with the rain, it was still hot and the humid weather only made the air sticky. She had to pull her gray tank-top away from her stomach just so that her skin could feel like it could breathe again. Stretching her arms above her head, the sour smell of her sweat wafted up into her nostrils, but it wasn't any worse than that mattress she slept on and the mutant fruit-plant in the corner.

Turning, she made her way passed the bed and headed for the door that led to the outside world. The world with fresh air. Why the hell she slept in such a place, she had no idea. It probably would have been better just to sleep in a cave somewhere. She must have been sloshed big time. And where the hell were her shoes?

She needed to come into some cash soon. She was tired of staying in shitty, abandoned huts and shacks. Sleeping in places like this and having to travel around with hardly any food or money made her appreciate everything she had back in Konoha all the more.

She missed it, but she couldn't go back. She wouldn't let herself go back.

Sakura didn't want to go back to Konoha. If she did, then they would all die. She would kill them all. . . and she couldn't live with herself if she did that.

It was bad enough that she killed Sasuke. . .

She couldn't live with herself as it was, but she couldn't do anything about it. Her body wouldn't allow her ever since that dreadful beast had awakened within her blood. A beast that fed on her love for others, chewed it up, and spat it out back at her with a vile odor that had her vomiting each time it reared it's ugly head.

Pushing open the door, it creaked before she stepped out into the rain. The liquid immediately began to rinse off some of the sweat and grime that stuck to her body, but it couldn't cleanse the filth that she felt deep inside of her.

Despite not having anything covering her feet, she continued to walk through the wet grass and she ignored the feeling of mud seeping through the cracks between her toes. Her hair was halfway down her back and was in a tangled mess. The rain was sure not to help with that, not that she had anything to fix that.

Her feet carried her to her next destination, slowly, but surely. She didn't know where she was, but it didn't matter. She passed by numerous of trees on each side, but everything was an endless blur. She didn't really see the world anymore. She didn't laugh. She didn't smile. She didn't live. She just moved around aimlessly.

She moved. . . and killed.

Ever since that day. She killed whoever stood in her way, whoever she was paid to take out, sometimes just because she felt like it. It was like an addiction at first, a reaction to what had happened, or maybe she wanted to appear as the sort of monster that she felt like. It disgusted her. She felt guilty about it and she wanted it to stop. She supposed that was how her second addiction began and it was just as twisted as the first. Although, it was probably a way to cope with the things that she had done to so many.

She hoped to find someone that could fulfill her expectations this time. The only time that she felt alive was when she was on the verge of death and that was also when she felt as close to Sasuke as she had ever been. She wanted to be able to feel the line between life and death again. That was the only thing she had going for her. Since she couldn't actually die and she couldn't live her life with her loved ones. She had to stay far away from them. That was the only thing that kept the beast inside of her tame. The beast that sucked the life out of so many others dear to her and exploded in her face.

It was ugly. It was harsh. It was a monster and it was her. . .

~SCENE CHANGE~

How disappointing. That group wasn't able to do anything for her after all. Although, it wasn't too surprising. They were just a normal group of bandits. They wouldn't have known too much about torture, but they were certainly willing to try to get her to spread her legs for them. That wasn't what she was looking for. The only person she had had sex with was Sasuke and she sure as hell wouldn't fuck some random group of guys. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she was sure that she had her priorities messed up. Normally, if women were willing, they'd have sex with a dozen men rather than be beaten by them.

Yeah.

She was definitely screwed up in the head.

Who the hell sought out people to torture them? That was the only way she could get rid of some of the guilt that she held inside of her heart and it sickened her. Everything about herself disgusted her. She wasn't strong enough to stand beside Naruto and Sasuke as equals and just when she thought that she had caught up to them in the war, they gained even more power and left her behind in the dust. She wasn't able to protect Sasuke during the war after that and she even ended up taking his life. She had snapped afterward and everything became a blur. Apparently she had killed dozens of shinobi fighting around her before setting off a huge explosion.

Gaara and Ohnoki had been in the area, but luckily they were saved at least, thanks to Gaara's keen instincts and observational skills. What made her feel worse was that nobody blamed her for what happened. The two Kage had explained what happened and claimed that she wasn't in her right mind at the time. Although, it was true. She wasn't thinking straight at that time, if she was thinking at all. Nobody blamed her for the deaths that came afterward either.

But she blamed herself. . . and that was why she sought out people to do harm to her body, because she had done harm to others. No amount of her blood spilled could make up for that. However, as hard as she tried, she couldn't stop the killing if the situation called for it or if she felt the urge.

Those bandits had tried to take her by force and now their bodies laid scattered on the forest floor. She didn't have to kill them, but she had done it. In a way, she didn't feel guilty about taking their lives if she were to think about how many they had already taken advantage of or would in the future. She didn't have a problem with killing rapists. Maybe next time she could be more specific about what she wanted though. Telling them to tie her up and give her their worst probably wasn't a good way of putting it so she was at fault too.

Oh well.

They were dead and she took their valuables to help herself out. With fresh clothes, a full stomach, and having just bathed in the best hotel she had stayed in in months, she felt refreshed. She wore a similar black pair of shorts as before, but they clung to her thighs while her hipbones jutted out over the hem of them. Her tank-top was black as well and hugged her curves while it made her B-cup sized breasts look fuller. Black books were tied tightly on her feet and the leathery material ended at her shins. Underneath her clothes was a pair of red and black, lacy undergarments. She had bought them since she thought they were sexy, but she doubted that she would have any use for them. She didn't plan on seducing anybody any time soon and she sure as hell wasn't going to find anybody worth having sex with.

Her recently combed out hair fell down to the small of her back, having gained some length when all of the tangles were removed and was washed thoroughly. Her pink locks softly blew in the wind behind her as her jade eyes settled on a supposedly abandoned building. It looked empty from the outside, but she could sense the lives of ten people inside. She couldn't tell how strong they were, but some were giving off more powerful waves than others. Most likely, they were hiding their strength from detection or they were just that much weaker. It was hard to say for sure until she got up close to them.

Walking forward, Sakura headed toward the two-story warehouse with the hopes that someone there might be able to send her into that oblivion that connected her with her lover, even if it was in the slightest. She desperately wanted to be by his side and she would have already arrived there if her body would just allow her to die. Unfortunately, not everyone got their way so this was the best that she could do to feel close to the Uchiha. The kunoichi had the suspicion that she couldn't die as a punishment for taking his life. Even if it was an accident. . .

Reaching the front doors to the building, she was calm as she pushed the wooden structures open. Whatever commotion that was going on inside instantly died as ten pairs of eyes landed on her. Sakura kept her features calm as she looked over everyone. Taking a few more steps, she stopped and listened as the door slid shut and creaked behind her. The light that was brought in with the doors opening died as soon as it was shut and it left a dark shadow within the room. Nobody said anything as they look over her calmly and curiously.

Figuring that being straight to the point would be best, she would make this quick and simple. It would save time and she could avoid another misunderstanding like she had last time. With absolutely no hesitation in her posture or in her voice, she stated. "I want to be tortured to death. Whose up for it?"

Sakura received various of different reactions and most of them looked at her questioningly. That was expected she supposed, she normally got that sort of reaction whenever she told someone to hurt her. Although before, she would just end up starting a fight somewhere and let things go their own way. She hadn't actually outright stated what she wanted until now. As for the death part, they couldn't actually kill her, but they didn't need to know that.

"Have you lost your mind?" one of the men asked and Sakura spared him a single glance for the moment. He had black hair pulled into a high topknot behind him, a purple robe tied closed at his waist by a greyish sash, a katana at his side that was held in place by the sash, and bandages wrapped around his shins. He was sitting down on a box and some of his robe had opened to expose the skin above his knee. He was regarding her with a curious and doubtful expression as if he were wondering whether she had her sanity or not.

Having taken in his appearance, she moved her gaze onward to the other members that were seated around the large room. A blonde male was playing a game on a wireless console while sitting next to a woman in glasses. The other two females were sitting on some rock structures and playing cards with another blonde male, although this one had a larger build than the previous one. The rest were scattered around the room.

The one that had asked her the question just a moment ago realized that she had no intention of answering him and he scowled at her, although she paid no mind to him. It seemed he wasn't someone who would help her. She had looked over just about everyone in the room, but then the last one she had yet to inspect stood up. Her jade eyes landed on the male that was seated all the way in the back of the room by himself.

His dark hair fell on both sides of his face while his body was completely covered in black garb, his face covered by a black bandana with a red skull design on the front. He was short and petite in stature, yet there was something about him that instantly let her know that he was dangerous.

"To the death, right?" he asked, his voice a higher pitch than the other male's, but still deep enough for her to know that he was male. He seemed to regard her just as calmly as she did him, but she could swear that she saw a small spark of excitement in his grey eyes.

The pinkette nodded briefly and now she knew that she wasn't imagining it as his eyes crinkled, his bandana surely hiding what was no doubt an excited smile. "Follow me then."

Sakura watched as he made his way to the side toward a door that would lead out into a hallway. When he was near it, the pinkette began to walk forward, still calm, although excitement bubbled underneath her surface as well. She wasn't looking forward to the pain that this individual would give her, but she was looking forward to the chance to be close to Sasuke again in some sense. The only question was; would this man be able to send her into that oblivion for that short time before she was brought back to this hellish reality?

~END OF CHAPTER ONE~

This chapter was short. I'll try to make the next one longer, but I didn't want to put too much into this chapter of her interactions with the Phantom Troupe. Normally, I would wait until I have the next chapter ready before posting one, but I couldn't wait to post this. I'm curious to see what you guys will think of this couple.

I saw that with the exception of one or two fics of this crossover with Sakura as one of the pairings, she's paired with Killua. I have nothing against that. In fact, I have quite a few outlines written with those two, I'm just too lazy to write them out, but I saw that Feitan didn't get the chance to become apart of the fabulous, yet small, world that is the Naruto/Hunter x Hunter crossover. So I decided to fix that and what started out as a Killua&Sakura outline, turned into this. I hoped you enjoyed it.

I think any relationship with Feitan would be hot as hell and I personally think that Sakura deserved a lot more than what she got from Sasuke, especially after they had Sarada. Raising a child on your own can be especially hard on both the parent and the child, and I don't care what anyone says, having a kid with someone doesn't prove that the parents' feelings are connected. Sakura loved Sarada, but clearly wasn't happy with her relationship with Sasuke. I understand that he was gone for all that time to help out the village, but at least send a post card or a letter or something, damn. He had meetings with Naruto so there really wasn't a good enough reason to neglect his daughter. He didn't even know what his own daughter looked like until he was about to attack her and the bastard had the nerve to skip out on his child support for twelve years. Seriously. So I now say screw that pairing, I'mma stick her with this hot, sadistic, short stack. Spread the loves.

Okay, rant over. I know this first chapter isn't the best and there isn't much to it yet, but please review what you guys think so far. It will be greatly appreciated.