Growing Up Avenger
A/N I was particularly intrigued about the 'fatherly' stance that Stark takes with Peter (similar to the boy he worked with in IM3). The adults of the Avengers know the sacrifices being an Avenger entails. Parker seems like soft metal waiting to be molded into a hero. But underneath it all he's still just a kid. I also look in Tony and Steve's head post 'Civil War'. Character Study.
Six months after Siberia.
"Stark"
"Rogers"
The flip phone felt fragile in his hands like the conversation he was having. So many words pooled in his mouth; some angry, some gentle. A few were for an apology; the others were piled up in jagged fragments of frustration. Tony cautiously moved the phone to his other ear afraid he'd break the device. Was he ready to have this conversation?
"Can we meet? It's been a while."
A pause on the other end of the line felt like a lightning strike about to happen. Why did talking to Steve remind him of talking to his father when he was young? It felt like he was asking his dad to borrow the car or some bullcrap like that. Oh right. They were both of the same generation and cut from a similar stubborn cloth.
"Do you have a situation?" Steve asked neutrally but with interest.
Tony opened his mouth and then shut it. Steadying himself as he gave a paternal glance towards Peter, who was nerdily gawking at some artifacts on his bookshelf, "No. Not exactly."
"What does that mean?" the tone became guarded.
"Remember that kid from Queens?" Stark mentioned, "He's been asking to meet you."
"So you broke your silence just to let this kid meet me? That phone isn't for organizing a circus or a pony show for a birthday party, Tony." Rogers chastised.
"Look. I know. But besides that, I actually need to talk to you. About Ross… and it would be nice to see you again." Tony admitted, rubbing his temples tiredly with his free hand. A headache with a glass of scotch written on it was forming behind his eyes. The scotch would numb the lie he just told too.
Steve ignored the 'nice to see you' part and focused on the other point, "What is Ross doing?"
"We have some other 'enhanced' on the radar. Called Inhumans. I wanted to bring you up to speed on that." Tony replied, "And I wanted to patch things up between us. Mom- "his voice choked on that word. He regained his composure, "Always made me apologize when I was wrong."
There was a tired sigh on the other end of the phone. Rogers really sounded one hundred years old, "Tony. We were both doing what we thought was right. There are no apologies to be made. So does this 'Inhuman' issue really require us to have a meeting?"
"You want your shield back?" Tony tried to sweeten the deal.
"Not really." Steve said quickly. "I dropped it for a reason."
"Then do it for the kid." Stark tried to cajole. He felt a nervous sweat beading on his forehead.
"Seriously, Tony… I don't-" Steve began but couldn't wrangle the conversation back from Stark.
"Ok. We'll see you at that shawarma place… you know the one. Tomorrow. One o'clock." And with a push of the button Tony felt his heart hammering in his chest. Why was this like asking for atonement?
He was going to see Steve again. The man he almost killed six months ago in a blinding rage. Wiping his hand down his face and loosening his tie, he thought to himself they almost killed each other. There were many repairs to be made to this bridge. Tony felt at least that he had driven the first nail. That was something, wasn't it?
Looking again at Peter he asked, "Hey Underoos. You like shawarma?"
The restaurant had been rebuilt for several years, but Stark could still smell the gun powder, blood splatter, plaster dust and ozone from arcing wires. The broken floor tiles loomed up in his memory as concrete and rebar poked ugly from the walls. Brittle glass crunched underfoot.
Blinking, he refocused on his lunch in the plastic basket in front of him with the red and white gingham check paper. Parker sipped his coke and looked around brightly like this was the best day of his life. Tony took a bit of pleasure in his youthful exuberance.
"So, Mr. Stark-" Peter began after sinking his teeth into his wrap.
"Tony. Call me Tony." He corrected briefly thinking about his white haired father.
Peter swallowed his bite, "Ok. Tony." He stuffed a chip in his mouth, "So what happed after you sidelined me at the airport? I went home after my head clearend and then it was like you all disappeared."
Tony took a sip of his drink, glancing at his watch. Steve was late and that made him nervous, "Well, we all just needed to work out our problems. And you just didn't need to see all that."
"C'mon Tony. I'm 16. I think I can handle conflict. I mean, have you seen some of the drama on Snapchat? The girl fights are intense." Peter frowned which only made him look more naïve. He voluntarily omitted witnessing the murder of his uncle. Peter didn't want to spoil lunch telling that tale again.
Tony smirked and resisted the temptation to reach out and ruffle Peters hair the way his dad did sometimes when they worked on a project together and Tony got something right. "It's more complicated than a story on Snap… whatever."
"Snapchat." Peter corrected, "Try me." Parker challenged leaning forward over his food. How quickly he had gotten over the hero worship moment, Stark noted wryly.
Tony squirmed a little in his chair, thinking about where to begin as the bell on the storefront door chimed. Looking up, he saw the patriotic silhouette of Steve Rogers backlit by the streaming sunlight through the front window and doorway. Tony gave a small wave and he approached. As Steve pulled a chair out and sat down, Tony remarked, "You're late."
"Yes, it's an unfortunate habit I apparently have." Steve replied a little tersely. His body was held at stiff angles as if he was not happy to be there. Peter sat in silent awe.
Stark took a long look at Steve as if he expected some scars to appear from their last meeting. The bruises and cuts were healed. There was still a shadow of hurt still in his eyes and a flicker of a dark haired man with a metal arm in them.
"You ok, Tony?" Steve asked finally, making Stark blink.
"Yeah. Yeah… Just it's been a while. It's good to see you." Tony replied swallowing and trying not to have a PTSD moment in the restaurant.
"It has." Steve turned to Peter, "Good to see you too, kid." Rogers extended hand.
Peter took it and shook, "Thanks, old timer."
Steve's eyebrows rose as a laugh bubbled up, "Old eh? Sure thing from a kid who's nick name is a pair of underwear."
Peter glared for a moment in youthful indignation but then caught the joke and giggled too. "I have so many questions!"
"Well, I'd love to answer all of them, but I may not have the time today." Steve commented and then turned back, serious, to Stark.
"How is… everyone?" Tony asked trying not to sound anxious. Black Widow had gone off on her own, Rhodes was still doing rehab at the HQ and Vision was omnipresent but he missed the other half of of their team like a sore that wouldn't heal.
Steve hooded his eyes slightly, "They're fine. They send their regards. Is Rhodes improving?"
Stark swallowed, "Yeah. He's making progress. Getting better. Every day."
"That's good. I'll pass that on to Sam.", Steve replied evenly, "He was worried."
Peter felt like he was the awkward witness at the home of one of his divorced friends when the parents dropped their kids off for the weekend. The sensation of his loyalties being tested increased as his fingers nervously played with his web triggers under his sleeves.
Stark decided to gamble with the success of this meeting, "And Barnes?"
An icy veil fell over Steve's face but he then turned to Parker ignoring Tony, "Sorry about that shiner I gave you."
Peter jumped, realizing that he had been about to web Captain America under the table. His powers were for helping the good people, not being a bully. "Oh. Yeah." Parker fidgeted, "It's ok. Really. I made a great story for Aunt May. Not every day you get socked in the face by Cap-"
"Parker!" Tony snapped, quieting the boy mid-sentence, "Not here."
Peter looked embarrassed. Tony felt repentant; he sounded just like his dad.
Steve gave a kind look to Peter, resting a fatherly hand on Parker's shoulder, "I gave that up. I'm just Steve Rogers now."
"You… gave it up? What?" Parker's eyes widened, "Tony- you told me you worked through it."
"It's a long story." Tony commented pulling his glasses off his face and rubbing the bridge of his nose.
"One you decided not to fill me in on, I guess." Peter stated tersely, "Trying to shield me from something?"
"Oh. Nice pun there, Underoos." Stark bit back.
Steve intervened. "Why am I here? What's the 'problem'?" Steve cut Tony a hard look, like he had Secretary Ross when he tormented Wanda with pictures of Sokovia at their last meeting.
Tony smirked again, putting the glasses back on and pushing them up his nose. He glanced at Parker who was indignantly watching him too. "Yeah. That. There was no Inhuman thing going on. Well, really, there is, but it's not something we need to be worried about now." Tony sipped quickly on his soda, "Actually I have an olive branch to offer. I've been thinking, a lot. I mean I'm always thinking, but I have had some soul searching moments recently."
Steve sat back in his chair and looked stoically at the billionaire. Slowly, he crossed his arms over his chest in a closed gesture, "So you lied to me just to get me here. Glad to see you haven't changed."
"I may be a kid, but smart enough to recognize a pattern here too." Peter interjected, a frown between his eyes.
Tony glared back, instinctively but then softened his expression. "Steve, I am an imperfect man. I've made great things, but I've destroyed a lot of amazing things." Tony admitted soberly, "I'm trying to make things better but I seem to be making them worse. I'm tired of making things worse. When you have these abilities, and bad things happen, they happen because of you." Stark glanced at Parker, who kept a resolved expression even if his cheeks colored some in flattery. "I can't stop trying. I don't want to stop trying. I think I found the right way to make things better. Between us at least."
Steve continued to listen. Peter's eyes bounce back and forth between the two men wondering what was going to happen next.
"This is going to sound complete bonkers. It's Barnes. I… I want to help him." Tony began hesitantly but then gained momentum despite the waves of anger that began to roll off Steve like a furnace, "I want to make things right. For him. For the Avengers and between us." Tony summarized gently. Steve's eyes widened gradually in surprise at Starks sincerity, his stance loosening slightly.
"This isn't a ploy to get me to sign those damn Accords, is it?" Steve growled, caught between optimism and realism. Could they really patch this up? Did he want to patch it up?
"No. It's not." Stark said patently, "I know I should have thought things through back there in Siberia, but I didn't. I couldn't. You know my story Steve. You… knew my dad. Not exactly a hugger, ya'know? Mom was really my whole world and when you find out that one of your closest friends knew how she died but never told you, that hurt. It hurt a lot." Tony swallowed as Cap's eyes took a guilty dive to the floor, "And I was acting on impulse, on raw emotion. C'mon Rogers. You know how I don't do feelings well. Barnes said he remembers everything." Steve looked up at him, wondering how Tony knew that, "I remember everything too. Everything the Avengers have done, good and bad. It's not seventy years of hell like his, but I can relate… a little." He put a trademark Stark Smile on his face, hands raised in supplication, like he did at board meetings. "I want to put that part of us behind. I want to help Bucky. Like I said I would before all… this." Tony finished gesturing to the empty air between them like the wall it had become.
Steve let those words sink in slowly. Tony was beginning to wonder if Rogers was a statue instead of a living man and if he had heard any of it.
"You mean that guy with the metal arm?" Peter said but in a lower tone so Stark wouldn't yell at him again.
Steve turned to Peter, the internal conflict in him audible, "Yes. He's my best friend. We grew up together. It's a long story."
"There seem to be a lot of 'long stories' here." Parker observed dryly. The older men ignored him.
"And?" Tony asked, a hopeful expression on his face.
Steve leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table, his eyes dark with a mixture of regret and sorrow, "I'm sorry Tony. Nat gave me his file after Washington. I read it over and over till I memorized ever word. It was in there, the order to kill your parents. Looking back, I should have told you. But I was afraid how you'd react given Sam and I were looking for him at the time." Tony nodded slightly in acknowledgement, "But I have to know from you that you realize Bucky didn't have any control over himself then. Can you imagine what that might feel like? To kill because you are a dog on a leash? I don't mean to make light about the death of your parents, but that wasn't James. That was a monster placed inside him."
"Brainwashing? Is that some of the crazy Red Room stuff I heard Nat talking about?" Parker asked. Both men looked at him. Peter shrugged inquisitively.
"By the way, Tony. Why exactly is this young man here?" Steve asked firmly, "I know you were grasping at straws a while ago, but we don't hire kids into the Avengers."
"I wanted him here to see what this job really means." Tony's glance moved from Peter to Steve and back. Parker's mouth hung open slightly in astonishment. "To see that we are not just Vogue and New York Times. I wanted him to see that we are human, we make mistakes and that we sometimes hurt each other."
"That was wise, Tony." Steve credited, "But he's still too young."
"I have a drivers permit." Parker offered.
"Kid, you live in New York. No one drives around here." Stark replied. Steve nodded in agreement.
"Fine. Are we done here? I have homework to do since I'm not welcome." Parker stood, his frustrations coloring his body language with 'You're an asshat, Tony Stark'.
Steve looked at Tony who sat looking a bit lost. Rogers never gave him an answer.
"That is very generous of you. I'll think about it, Tony." Steve stood up from the table, "And I'll give you a call. It was good seeing you again."
Tony stayed seated, not trusting his legs. He felt so alone. "You too.", he managed. A vision of dead Avengers at his feet loomed up from his memory. Squinting his eyes shut, he forced them away. "Hey kid. I'll be seeing you. Ok?"
Parker looked over his shoulder and said sarcastically, "Only before curfew. I need to be bed by eight. Thanks for lunch."
"C'mon Peter. Tony's had enough of you for today. I'd like to get to know you better." Rogers put a hand on the teen's shoulder and guided him towards the door. The memory of being a frustrated teen was dusty, but still there is Steve's head. Some time to cool down would he helpful to everybody.
Tony watched them leave, silently.
"Queens, hmm?" Steve said out loud shoving his hands into his bomber jacket.
"Yeah. Me and my aunt." Parker filled in, his tone still grumpy.
"Your aunt?" Rogers glanced down curiously at the kid as they moved down the sidewalk.
Parker cut a look toward Steve, "It's a long story."
"Gotcha." Steve replied and looked up the street.
They walked for a few more moments in silence. Parkers mind whirled with questions and Steve's roiled with conflict.
Simultaneously they turned, mouths open to ask a question.
That moment dissolved into a laugh. Steve thought it felt good to laugh again. It had been too long.
"You first." Rogers deferred.
"Why'd you do it? Why'd you hang up the shield?" Peter asked bluntly.
"It wasn't mine to keep." Steve pulled his poker face down to hide the bruises on his soul.
"Dude, you had it for over seventy years." Parker scoffed, "I think it was yours. Who else is going to pick it up?"
Rogers saw the three times Bucky held it in his hands flash before his eyes. Now he was frozen behind glass, again. Steve felt cold in the shadows cast by the tall city buildings.
"It's not like Moljinr. Anyone can pick it up." Steve responded.
"Mole-what?" Parker asked.
"Thor's hammer. It has a name and only those deemed worthy can wield it. My… the shield.., isn't magic. Just some good old fashioned American ingenuity." Steve reminisced about Howard's workshop and all the crazy that went on in there.
"But you really did give it up, right?" Parker pressed still not believing.
"Yes."
"I still don't understand why. You're an icon! You're a leader! You're… were … an Avenger." Parker began to argue.
Rogers tilted his head humbly with the accolades "Sometimes the right thing to do isn't the most popular." An image of a tree formed in his mind.
"But…" Peter stopped mid stride, "The world needs you."
Steve saw the sincerity in Peter's eyes and saw the size of his heart. A smile rose to his lips recognizing that same young man in himself long ago. "They only need me under their terms. Not the right ones."
"I see both sides of it." Peter sighed and continued to walk. Steve followed.
"So do I." Rogers added.
"Then why is this such a problem?" Parker gestured widely.
"Tony doesn't believe we can do our job without collateral damage. When you fight the type of conflicts we fight, there will always be death. You minimize them the best we can. But you can never stop them." Steve inhaled and then breathed out, "It's sad that some have to sacrifice so that others may go on in peace. The price of freedom is high. I'm not convinced that the UN committee understands that the way the Avengers used to."
"That makes some sense." Peter commented. "I'm not sure I'd like the UN telling me when or where to do things."
"Exactly." Steve said without pride.
"But at the same time, we can't just run all over everybody. That's not fair to them either." Peter observed.
"Well… yes. But-" Rogers went to defend his position.
"There I think is where we disagree, Steve." Parker looked up at the taller, older, man, resolute.
"I can respect that. At least you're not Tony's puppet." Steve said as small frown pressed between his eyes.
"Really?" Parker laughed imagining the older man having any sway over his choices.
"Really." Steve finished, recognizing easily the adoration in the kid's face.
They walked on some more dodging people on the side walk and trash bins left out for trash day.
"I think you'd be a great Avenger." Steve commented quietly.
"I thought I was too young." Peter replied sarcastically.
"You are. But you have what it takes." Steve replied, "I was a bit older than you when I lost my parents and joined the Army. I was young then too, but I dealt with it. You have that same sense of responsibility."
"Thanks. That means a lot." Peter stated.
"You have to be careful. Use your head. Don't rush into things just because you think they need action now." Rogers warned. Pietro Maximoff's face appeared in his memory.
"Got it." Peter responded with a resolute tone. Steve glanced down at the boy. A small smile formed on the corners of his lips. This kid would be alright. Deep down, Rogers knew, if anything happened to Peter, no one on the team would be able to forgive themselves.
They continued on in manly silence again.
"Tell me about Bucky. Why does Stark hate him so much?" Peter finally broke the silence.
"You picked a story I could go on about for days." Steve exhaled as he felt cables of tension bind up his shoulders.
"I got time." Peter grinned.
"What about that homework?" Steve joked. Peter rolled his eyes. That made him laugh.
"First of all, he hates spiders." Rogers began.
Fin.