A/N: This is based on an AU where Takumi's spirit cannot rest at the end of Conquest. It starts with Kamui, shifts to Takumi's POV and then back to Kamui. MAJOR CONQUEST ENDING SPOILERS.
Enjoy!
"Thank you my sister."
Those words that her little brother spoke still echoed inside of Kamui's exhausted mind.
Kamui sighed into her pillows as she buried her head deeper in the covers. Thoughts of the brothers that she had killed made the reality she was facing that much harder. She had turned her back on her birth family, and on the memory of the mother that gave her life for the dragon princess. It was understandable why Ryoma and the others had branded her a traitor. She had taken their sorrow and their tentative hope and crushed it beneath her bare heel.
"Milady? I come with your breakfast." Jakob taps softly upon her door.
"I'm not hungry." Kamui grumbles.
Jakob opened the door with one hand as he expertly balanced the silver platter on his forearm. The fireplace was cold and the curtains had been drawn shut drowning out whatever little light there had been. He navigated his way towards the canopy bed his mistress slept in and placed the tray on the nightstand. Kamui's snow-white hair spilled out from beneath the covers; the strands glowed eerily in the shadows as if they contained a light of their own.
"Milady, it is past noon. Surely you do not plan to celebrate your victory in bed all day?"
Kamui lifted her head from underneath the pillows and shifted her crimson gaze towards her butler. He stood at the foot of her bed with an honest expression of worry clouding his brown eyes.
'I don't deserve his loyalty." Kamui thought bitterly as she shifted into a sitting position.
"Milady? Are you not well?"
"I haven't been able to sleep."
Jakob walked towards the curtains and pulled back the fabric; the gray skies of Nohr greeted the dragon princess as she bit the inside of her cheek. Even with the lack of bars upon the glass Kamui still felt trapped. The sun wouldn't grace her with its warmth anytime soon.
"Are you experiencing nightmares again Milady?" Jakob inquires as he ties the curtains back with the heavy tassels.
"…Yes." Kamui had no strength to lie and she had no motive to smile as she usually did. She felt worn and empty; the holes in her heart couldn't be filled with false happiness.
Flashes of her birth family filled her mind and played back the memories that she would rather not relive. She could see Ryoma's body as he falls forward upon his own sword in order to spare her life. Sakura's cries of utter sadness rang in her ears as she remembered the way that she had cut down her sister's retainers. Hinoka's expression of utter heartbreak when she had turned her back on Hoshido all those months ago was still fresh. She could even remember the words to Azura's song upon her breath, the song made her yearn for the friend that had disappeared after the war.
But those memories had not been the cause of her most recent nightmare. Instead, it had been of Him. The one who had broken Kamui's heart the most and made her question whether she was actually fighting for peace or for her own selfish desires.
She could still remember piercing Yato through his body engulfed in haunting flames. The blood that had been spilled had dissolved in the heavy air around them, and his screams of pain had been distorted and demonic.
'It wasn't him that you killed. It was his corpse.' Her logical mind tried to explain away the guilt that she felt.
'Even if it was his corpse you were the one who had driven him to his death.'
His hazel gaze had been shifted into an angry red haze, and she knew that she was the cause for that hatred.
'Congratulations Kamui, you finally realize that he was right.'
The dragon princess was a traitor; she had been the cause of her mother's demise and had caused irreparable damage to her siblings. Ryoma was dead which left the heavy burden of repairing Hoshido upon Hinoka's shoulders. The eldest Hoshidan princess had only wanted to make her family whole again by bringing Kamui home. And she had returned the favor by giving her a broken and lifeless country in return.
Sakura hardly came out of her rooms, and when she did she could be most commonly seen weeping at the shrines of her older brothers. Her retainers were dead, her mother was dead, and her older brothers were dead. The youngest princess had suffered so much throughout the last year and it was all thanks to her "beloved" older sister.
He had been right all along, and maybe, in the end, his hatred towards her was rightfully deserved. Even now Kamui didn't dare to speak his name out of shame.
"Jakob…I wish to be alone for a little while longer."
"Milady, you have hardly left your room in a week. There is only so much I can say towards Princess Camilla to give you the space you need."
Kamui snorted slightly at the thought of Camilla bursting through her doors with her mighty axe brandished. Her older sister was overprotective already and keeping her away was obviously driving her crazy.
"Please let my family know that I will join them for lunch." She manages to pull on a bright smile even with her spirit breaking in two.
Jakob does not question his mistress, but the unspoken question in his eyes signals her towards his true emotions. He knew that she wasn't feeling alright, but he would never pry. His constant presence leaves Kamui ever grateful. Maybe, just maybe one time he would be willing to do more than being by her side.
"…As you wish Lady Kamui."
Jakob bowed low before quietly leaving her quarters. And any wishes that the dragon princess may have desired to ask him to leave with his shadow.
The princess fell back against the dark sheets and stared at the canopy swaying slightly above her head. She couldn't be happy with the choices that she had made. She didn't deserve the love and happiness that her Nohrian siblings tried to give her.
"Please, I need you to set me free."
Kamui had done the right thing in striking her little brother down. She had fulfilled her promise and had set his soul free. That at least was one thing that she had done right. However, it wouldn't have had to end the way it did if she had just made an effort to actually take a stand.
"I wanted to call you my Sister."
Kamui stood shakily upon her thin feet as she made her way towards the balcony. She threw open the glass doors and embraced the cold wind that raced towards her. Her dragon stone lay against her breast as it always did and it was in that moment that she yearned for the open skies. She smiled slightly as she lifted her hands through the cold breeze.
'The same wind that made his arrows.'
What would have happened if he had actually succeeded in piercing her heart with the wind? One thing was clear; even if he had managed to kill her it wouldn't have set his soul free.
Kamui grasped her dragon stone between her fingers and lifted the warm gem away from her breast. If she let go of the stone her dragon instincts would take over. She wouldn't have to remember any of the pain that she put her family through. She could just lose herself to the feral dragon inside and let Xander strike her down as the beast that she was.
She could hear the low rumble of the dragon being stirred from its slumber. The dragon stone was still in her grasp, but her fingers began to loosen. Her smile grew in size as her hand unwrapped itself from around the gem keeping her humanity together. It wouldn't be so bad to go feral. Yeah, giving up and losing awareness sounded so wonderful.
"KAMUI!"
Kamui's eyes snapped open at the force of her name being said, she didn't remember him ever saying her name in such a desperate manner. The princess broke out of her stupor and clenched the dragon stone close to her chest. The dragon inside her fell back asleep; it curled its talons around her center and rumbled slightly. The gray scales that hardened faded away into water, and Kamui gasped for breath.
Kamui's head turned sharply as her pointed ears swiveled towards the sound. The voice was clear as day and this time it WASN'T in her head. She had heard it from the outside. Her eyes slowly found the source and her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach.
A young man leaned against the doorframe that led into her chambers; his hand covered his face as he took a deep breath of relief. Kamui didn't move and her breath froze in her chest. He was dressed in the normal uniform for Hoshidan archers, and his long silver hair followed the motion of his head as he shook it. He appeared to be alive, except for the obvious transparency that accompanied his figure and forced the shadows of her room to bleed through him.
He pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a small sigh. She gripped the metal railing with white knuckles as she tried to keep herself from fainting.
'This isn't real. HE isn't real.'
"Thank the gods." He wasn't aware of her staring, but his crisp voice sent an involuntary shiver down her spine.
'Do the gods think this is funny? Showing me images of my dead brother?!'
Heated tears threatened to spill from her eyes again as she clutched her dragon stone closer to her skin. This was definitely the gods' version of a cosmic prank; endlessly tormenting her with images of the brother that she caused the most pain to. He lost his mother, his father, his older brother, and eventually his own life. He even gave up his precious Fujin Yumi to allow Kamui the power to reforge the Shadow Yato and strike his corpse down.
"You idiot." He grumbled as Kamui began to shake.
'Please go away I don't want to see this.'
He didn't go away, he remained in her line of sight.
'Please disappear.'
He didn't disappear. His transparent image never wavered.
'Please make this stop."
Kamui's heart continued to crumble as the image of her brother grumbled to himself. He was unaware of her growing torment and the fact that she could see him.
'I'm sorry.'
His silver hair was hanging around his shoulders instead of being up in its normal ponytail. The intangible locks seemed to glow under the dark skies and framed his translucent face.
'I'm sorry.'
The tears fell from Kamui's eyes as she tried to keep herself upright. Her legs were slowly losing their strength, and her heart was beating inhumanly fast.
'I'm sorry.'
His eyes finally opened to reveal the same hazel gaze that she always imagined. Shock filled his irises when he noticed her staring. Everything within that moment stopped. The air around them grew heavy with her remorse. Her breath became shallow and her fingers holding her dragon stone dug into her skin. Their eyes remained locked; her crimson gaze couldn't let go.
Kamui was stuck and he was the cause of her pain.
"…Sister?" His voice was soft and unsure, but she could see the hope slowly growing in his eyes.
The dragon princess tried to catch her breath, her head was feeling heavy and she couldn't see beyond his hopeful expression. He continued to make eye contact; he was searching her face as if to make sure that she could really see him.
"…You can see me?" He whispered.
His soft words were such a sharp contrast from the corpse that had tried to kill her. Kamui's vision was growing blurry around the edges, her hands were clammy and she couldn't swallow properly. She took in a sharp huff of air in response and desperately gripped onto the railing.
"I'm sorry!" She blurted out as her legs finally gave way. She sank onto the ground and let out a wet sob.
Kamui's sobs wracked her entire frame; she buried her face into her nightgown and clawed at her hair. Her hands were half way distorted into talons as she gripped at the roots of her hair.
"I'm sorry Takumi!" She screamed.
The Hoshidan prince stared at her in complete silence, he hadn't expected Kamui to fall to her knees in a complete state of bleakness. She was supposed to be this optimistic woman who learned from her naivety and not this broken mess of a person. Her sobs hit him hard in the stomach and he crouched down towards her level. He had to stop this; she wasn't supposed to be living like this. He had told her that he had forgiven her; she was supposed to be moving on with her life!
"W-why are you crying?" He stammered dumbly. There wasn't anything else he could think to ask at the moment. Her sorrow was clouding his usually sharp mind.
Kamui's response was an even harder sob that shook Takumi to his core. This was completely wrong. She was supposed to be stronger than this.
"Hey, stop crying." He ordered half-heartedly. He looked away from her crumpled form and focused on the stone floor. He was never able to stand being the source for his sisters' sorrow. It was always his fault when he couldn't protect his siblings.
Kamui had kept her promise in releasing his soul from his controlled corpse. He was supposed to be free to join Mother and Ryoma in the afterlife. Kamui had saved him from an eternity of torment. His intended final words were only half-hearted; he had lied to her to give her enough strength to finish the job.
Takumi couldn't forgive Kamui so easily and maybe that was why he remained.
He had woken up back in the world shortly after Kamui had freed him. He quickly found that he couldn't interact with his sisters. He had to watch Hinoka be crowned Queen from the shadows, the weight of responsibility aging his oldest sister before his very eyes. Sakura constantly visiting his grave was even worse; she would carefully decorate his shrine with flowers covered in her tears. And despite how much he wanted to touch her he couldn't stroke his little sister's pink hair to comfort her.
His greatest fear had come true in the time after his death.
He was alone.
His senses dulled, and his world shifted into an eternity of bland grey shades. He couldn't speak to anybody, and nobody could hear his cries of despair. He had wandered the earth after leaving his beloved home; he was stuck in this world of existence without any company. Even without a physical body his spirit remained heavy and sluggish. Not even sleep would come to him, he was left awake and on his own in a world that no longer wanted or needed him.
He had wandered into Nohr without actively trying, why should he care where he wanders? He had no weapon, he had no friends, and he couldn't die. It didn't really matter where he ended up after everything that he lost.
It was only in a cruel act of irony that he found a source of color in her.
Takumi had found Kamui outside of the castle near a small lake. She was by herself at the time and had been staring out at the coastline. His dull world had suddenly exploded into an array of color that made his eyes water. Everything else was washed out in silvers and whites, but her body was a kaleidoscopic array of vibrant hues that breathed life into his dry center.
He followed the dragon princess around every day after that, he knew that she would never be aware of his presence but he didn't care. Despite the pain that simmered below the surface he couldn't stay away. Her colors filled his world with the life that he still desired.
His mind told him to leave, and that he shouldn't stay. She was a traitor. She killed Mother and left his family broken.
Her name gave him the peace that his soul needed, and he stayed even with the pain and sorrow that plagued his memory.
Kamui.
She was the warmth that he needed to keep the loneliness and decay at bay. Her voice was soft with a deep sorrow behind her words. Her crimson eyes were always clouded over and he wished to fill them with the joy that she had lost long ago.
By some fateful mistake when Kamui's eyes landed on his own he imagined his heart jumping into the back of his throat.
"I'm sorry Takumi!" Gods her sadness when she spoke his name made his insides twist.
He was elated that she could see him; it was proof that he wasn't alone in the world. He had a connection to the living realm in her form. The satisfaction he felt in the deepest part of his heart made him question his sanity. His tender state of mind should have burned whatever bridges that remained between them. He should have laughed at her despair.
But instead, he wanted nothing more than to have her look him in the eye.
"Kamui look at me." He said softly. He wanted to be reminded that he still existed in her world.
Kamui shook her snow-white head and sniffled in an attempt to conserve her depleting energy. Her shaking body was a pitiful sight, and maybe she did deserve to feel such deep regret. Takumi's desire to be acknowledged, and to be spoken to overruled his line of thought. He needed to feel alive again, just once, and Kamui was the only one who could give it to him.
"Please look at me, Sister." He spoke in a tone that was unsure. He didn't want to force her deeper into her shell.
Her head finally shifted, and her downy bangs lifted enough to give him a clear view of crimson glass that screamed life. Her red eyes reflected the color of blood, and it was in those depths that Takumi could see her deepest emotion.
Sadness, Confusion, Remorse, Anger, Self-Hatred, and Happiness mixed together in her pools. Her tears steamed against her frigid skin and her fangs were clenched into her lip. The color that surrounded her embraced the Hoshidan prince in a violent whirlwind that would have stolen his breath if he had any
Kamui was alive, and he wanted to embrace that vitality to his chest.
"Are you real?" She asked.
"As real as I can be."
He smiled slightly. She was acknowledging him. It didn't matter if he was a spirit, she could give him what he needed to feel at peace.
"Takumi." The dragon princess wiped the heel of her hand across her reddened cheeks.
She spoke his name in such a gentle fashion that pure happiness bloomed in his chest. Her colors surrounded him and brightened his world. The memories of the past were still present in his mind; their scars would never fade. But, maybe he could learn to forgive her fully if she was willing to give him her time.
"Kamui." He said with the same gentleness. His hand lifted towards her face, he wanted to cup her skin in his fingers. He wondered if it was as soft as it looked.
Takumi's hand phased through Kamui's cheek, and the dragon princess flinched away. She rubbed the skin of her arms with her hands.
"You are cold." She shivered.
Takumi stared at his hand forlornly, the colors that Kamui gave off faded back into the same washed out grays that he hated. Even with her before him, fate was still cruel enough to keep him separate in his own bubble of solitude.
The Hoshidan prince let out a bitter laugh, his silver hair flying backward as his body shook. Even the person who gave him acknowledgment was out of his reach. It was just the gods' cruel sense of humor that made Kamui the only one who could see him. She was the one who had taken everything he loved dear away. And now even in his afterlife, she continued to deprive him of what he wanted most.
Kamui watched as the ghost of her little brother laughed towards the darkened skies. His hazel gaze was lifeless and his transparent skin flickered. She couldn't touch him, and she knew that he wouldn't leave. She was cursed to endure his presence.
The forlorn pair was together in their own world of dull shades and sorrow. But even in their togetherness of negativity, they were kept separate by a barrier. It was a wall of life that wouldn't be lifted any time soon.
Kamui thought she saw a glass like tear sliding down Takumi's cheek. She wasn't entirely sure as the young prince clutched at his silver hair in silence. She folded her arms around her legs and waited for Takumi's emotions to die down.
She could wait as long as he needed her to. After all, emotional support was the only thing she could give to the one who wanted acknowledgment the most.
This was to be her fate after all.