Written in response to faithrss's 'Hollow Shadows'
('Hollow Shadows' can be found on 'Nuns With Pens' under the pen name faithrss)
I recommend reading that first.
Not only is it a really lovely piece, but it inspired me to write my poem in response;
a companion piece I can only hope does justice to her original work
Summary: Max angst in the form of a poem. Max is just being...Max.
Just Me
I watch from afar
Your eyes glaze over
Pain in those eyes
Sadness and hunger
Its a look I have denied
So many times before
Pushing aside the feelings
That rise up in me
You nurse your drink
Fingers tight over glass
Amber reflecting off green
Swirling emotions like the liquid within
The hard set of your jaw
Leaves me wondering
What thoughts run through your head
I would give anything to know
Anything but what you need
Anything but what I want
You're a soldier, you're alright
Always, and your mask slips back in place
I've hurt you, I've tried
I was wrong, I've lied
But baring my soul to you
Scares me - I'll admit that to no one
I've never needed to depend on anyone
Like I've come to depend on you
But weakness such as this
I cannot afford to share
As I turn to walk away from you
From happiness that might be mine
The cold fingers gripping my heart
Squeeze so painfully
I do see you, I wish I could tell you
But I can't seem to let go
And break free from the emptiness
To embrace what could be
I know my reluctance will be my undoing
That you're so much more than I've credited to you
Your heartbeat pounds in my ears
Your tears line my throat
I cast one last glance at the bar
As you slip your jacket over braced shoulders
And I look, close enough to see
All that's left
Is me