Author: Bloodofmygrandfather
A/N: A short about the sexual repression of the Jedi code and the negative impact that it could have on some of it's students to suppress something natural and make it seem dirty.
He had a problem. A terrible one at that. He was lucky enough that his robes hid the problem from view at least. The very thought of any of the other students finding out about this was the worst he could think about. He spent his nights aching and painful. It has kept him from sleep even. Days without sleep. He was reluctant at first, but he finally went to his uncle to confess this terrible darkness that was burning inside of him.
"How can I cleanse myself of this darkness uncle? Please, tell me."
"You must focus on the light, Ben. The force. Meditate." Luke's only advice was for him to meditate. "You mustn't give in. You know why this has been forbidden. You know what it did to your grandfather. This is the darkside trying to trick you and draw you in. Resist."
This was Jedi Master Luke's advice. It wasn't enough. It wasn't enough. It didn't ease the burning under his skin. The fever. He tried so hard to meditate in the first place, but to no avail. Especially when no matter how hard he tried his mind kept wondering to her. To the girl. She was so beautiful. The epitome of light and he just wanted so badly to feel the warmth. Like the warmth of sun on your skin. Yes, he wanted to feel her on his skin.
Rey. His fellow student here at the academy.
Now he sat on his bed desperately trying to mediate and focus on anything other than her, but it was impossible. The little fantasies would spring up in his mind and the ache would only intensify when he thought about her. About touching her. Her touching him. His memory would draw up the times he watched her training. Panting with exertion and he wondered what it would be like to have her panting under him while he-
"No..." He gritted his teeth and dropped back onto his bed and rolled onto his side, pressing a hand against himself, half tempted to touch himself and half tempted to cause pain and see if that would make this go away.
He curled in on himself and cursed this terrible thing. This thing between his thighs. Deep in his gut. He couldn't control this yearning. It was disgusting. All these year of being a good Jedi and obeying the code so strictly and this was his reward. This insanity. He couldn't tell if it was his mind that was sick or his body or both. Both. It had to be both. It had to be a trick of the darkside trying to make him break the code. There was no other explanation. This would be another sleepless night.
End part 1