This is a reupload - no idea what happened last night, that's never happened before! I think that's what happens when you upload at 1am after a very long day! Thanks so much to the couple of people who actually read and reviewed this through the crazy HTML, and for those of you who pointed out the crazy formatting! All fixed now :)

Just a little one-shot, imagining Killian's thought process in the Sheriff's station in 4x10 - that goodbye scene just broke my heart. Anyway, this is my version of the moment - I've slightly changed the dialogue, simply because I wanted more conversation (I always do!). Another chapter of Understanding Each Other will be going up soon, this is all I've had time for this week though. I don't own the characters or the show, I just adore them!

As he walked through the door of the Sheriff's station, the hole in his chest where his heart should be grew heavy, and he knew he shouldn't be doing this. She had enough on her plate without this. He wanted to be calm, to be controlled, to hide any sign of what was really going on and simply wish her luck, steal a quick kiss if the moment presented itself, and say "see you soon". But he didn't trust his emotions to hold that steady. She was absolutely everything to him and he was about to lose her.

It wasn't fair. They weren't done yet, they had barely gotten started. She had just begun to really trust him, to open up to him and let her guard down, and he had just promised her he was a survivor, and she'd never have to worry about losing him. The thought of her realising how much he had let her down, let them down, was almost too much to bear.

He turned the corner and hovered in the doorway, just taking a moment to watch her. Clutching her baby brother in her arms, tears glistening in her eyes as she said goodbye to her parents, her heart so obviously breaking. She was always so strong, too strong sometimes, insisting on handling things on her own, it made seeing her like that all the harder. He loved that she had a vulnerable side, one that she was finally willing to share with him, but right now she just looked broken. He couldn't, and wouldn't, be responsible for shattering her heart completely. Not today, anyway.

"Swan," his voice breaking the momentary silence, and catching her attention.

She motioned to Elsa to take Neal, and said something to her new friend as she passed the wriggling baby into her arms. He was oblivious to everything outside of the thoughts racing through his mind, trying desperately to get control over them, at risk of saying entirely the wrong thing to her. As she approached him he fought the urge to instantly pull her to him, to whisper that he loved her and kiss her harder and with more passion than ever before. She could read him so well that he knew that would be a total giveaway.

This was not the goodbye he wanted, and this was not the goodbye they deserved. But it was all he had.

She paused just short of him, her arms wrapped around herself, scrunching her fingers in the sleeves of her leather jacket.

"You shouldn't be here, it's almost time," she said, attempting to keep her tone authoritative but already sounding defeated.

He couldn't help it. He took a step closer. Still fighting the urge to lift his hand up to cup her cheek, run his fingers through her hair.

"I know," he whispered, "I just…"

What? Couldn't die without one last kiss from you? Wanted to make this day just a little bit more difficult for you?

"... I needed to see you one more time."

It wasn't enough, not nearly enough. His heart, wherever it was in its physical form, was crying out for him to tell her, but this was the opposite of how he had imagined telling Emma he loved her.

Her eyes, already swimming with tears, were fixed on him.

"Don't say that," she finally mumbled.

"What?"

"One last time," she whispered, "This isn't goodbye. I refuse to let this be goodbye. Elsa and I, we'll fix this, Killian."

Her voice shook, but that familiar determination had found its way into her tone. Through the tears she looked confident, desperate, so sure that she would find a way to fix this.

He had no doubt that she would. The only problem was that he wouldn't be here by the time she did.

"I have no doubt in my mind that you will, love," he replied, trying to ignore the way his voice caught in his throat.

Suddenly he was aware that the room had gone completely silent. While he had been lost in her, the others had quietly tuned in to their private moment, something Emma would usually avoid at all costs. This time, however, something was different.

For a moment neither of them spoke, and if he could have frozen time like that, he would have done it in a heartbeat (the irony of which, was not lost on him). Her eyes were still locked with his, and he was overwhelmed by how badly he wanted to tell her everything and have her tell him they would figure it all out together. He just knew it wasn't an option.

"You know I'm not a tearful goodbye kiss person," she said, suddenly.

He began to nod when suddenly the gap that remained between them was closed and her mouth was on his, her arms wrapped around his neck and her body pressed tight to his. He wasted no time in pulling her closer, his arm around her back and his good hand tangled in her hair. She seemed to melt into him, holding on for dear life, as he eventually trailed a line of soft kisses across her cheek and onto her neck, burying his face in her long tresses of blonde hair and trying desperately to memorise every part of her, like a photograph in his mind.

But a mental picture couldn't match the feeling of her warm body in his arms, the sound of her voice, calling him Killian in the serious moments, or Hook when she was feeling flirty (or angry). The smell of her shampoo invading his space when she rested her head on his shoulder. The way his heart (when it was present) seemed to skip a beat every single time her lips met his.

Maybe, then, death would be a welcome escape from a life without her in it.

She eventually pulled back, her fingers skimming over his jawline and on to his neck.

He swallowed, attempting to swallow down all of the words that were fighting to come out, and tried a joke.

"I thought you said no tearful goodbye kiss?"

She almost smiled. He didn't manage to, and his attempted joke just sounded sad and empty.

"Just this once," she whispered, bringing her lips back to his.

This was it. This was the last time he would kiss her, and compared to how this was killing him, what Gold had in store would be a walk in the park. He touched his hand to her chin, tilting her head slightly to kiss her more deeply, and eventually pulled away, resting his forehead against hers and gently wiping away her tears, the way he did on their trip into the past, when he suspected her feelings for him had really begun to change.

He took a deep breath, pressed a kiss to her forehead and finally took a step back.

"Goodbye."

Before she had a chance to respond he turned around and he walked out, his feet moving as quickly as possible without breaking into a run, and raising suspicion.

It had been all wrong. His voice too harsh, the conversation too simplistic.

As he approached the door, his self-recrimination was interrupted by the sound of footsteps running behind him.

He spun around only to have her collide into him, knocking him backwards into the wall of the corridor.

"Emma…"

"Shhhh," she began, literally pressing her finger to his lips, "Something's wrong, and if you think I can't tell that, you're an idiot and clearly I know you better than you think. And I know there's no time for you to tell me what it is right now, but I promise you, whatever it is, I will fix it."

He felt his eyes prickle, and struggled to find the words to explain to her that this time, her being the saviour might not be enough. Instead, after an eternally long pause, the words he had been trying to avoid all day finally broke free.

"I love you."

She stared at him, her hands running down his arms like they did after their first date, one clasping his hand and the other gripping his wrist, his hook pressing into her hip.

"I know," she whispered, "I love you too."

It was almost all too much. He felt dizzy and overwhelmed, and completely and utterly consumed by his love for her, yet he couldn't seem to say a word.

"I'll fix it," she said, leaning in and pressing a firm, sure kiss to his lips.

And then she was gone. Off to save the world.

And whether or not she succeeded in saving him, he knew that she loved him. Whatever happened, he would always have that.

*cries* I just love those two so much. Reviews are very very welcome :)