Mr. Not-So-Perfect
Usui Takumi stepped out of the bath and shook his head a bit to get the excess water out of his golden locks. He sighed, dried his legs and put on his underwear and some pants before dragging himself to the kitchen. He was beat, after an entire day of being hounded by the guys from all the sports clubs. It was close to the sports festival, after all, and it had been pretty tough getting out of school in one piece with practically everyone chasing after him and begging for him to be on their team.
They really ought to have more confidence in their own abilities and stop using him to play tug-O-war—not that they had dared to, but he could tell they had been perilously close to doing so with those animal-like eyes of theirs.
Nevertheless, it was the end of the school week, and he was going to have a good rest.
And maybe bother his favorite maid over the weekend. He smirked to himself as he took an egg and some vegetables from the fridge.
Knowing her, she'd probably be busying herself fussing over the details of the sports festival and getting into arguments with the boys. No doubt, if they ever got into a fistfight, she'd win them hands down, even if they were from the judo club.
Usui let the noodles cook in the pot and then went to the shelf to get the cat food for Licht. He took several spoonfuls and put it into the little plastic bowl. He scanned the living room. The cheeky cat was nowhere to be seen, even though it was its dinnertime. Nevertheless, he placed it on the mat by the couch.
Was Licht sleeping somewhere? Hopefully it wasn't in his bed… That cat had a habit of clawing and scratching almost everything and the last thing Usui needed was a bed that he couldn't sleep in for the night.
Just then, his phone vibrated on the counter. He checked it and found that Misaki was calling him. With a light smile touching his lips, he answered the phone. "Misa-chan."
"I told you to stop calling me that already, sheesh. Misaki is fine."
"But I like calling you Misa-chan."
"It's Misaki, stupid Usui."
"Just call me Takumi. "Handsome Takumi" or "sexy Takumi" would be fine too."
He couldn't help but chuckle upon hearing her grunt of annoyance. If only he could see her cute face… "Stupid Usui!" she yelled.
"Cute Misa-chan."
He could just imagine her blushing as she paused, the unspoken retort at the tip of her tongue. "So, what did my cute Misa-chan call me for today?"
"It's Misaki, you idiot," she mumbled. "Anyway, are you doing anything tomorrow?"
"Oh? Is Misa-chan asking me out on a date?"
"No, I'm not, you stupi- I mean… I guess…"
Now he was intrigued. She was never one to initiate dates like this. And she never held back an insult directed at him, not even when she was sick. Something must have happened. Good or bad though, he didn't know. "Are you secretly planning something?"
The way she drew in a sharp breath confirmed his suspicions. "N-No, I'm not…"
"Misa-chan is a bad liar. Looks like I'll have to punish you later," he grinned.
"What are you talking about? I'm not lying! Argh, I'm hanging up. You better be free tomorrow, or you're—"
"Going to get punished?"
"S-Stop it, you perverted alien! Go and die already!"
"I'm free tomorrow. Where do you want to meet?"
"You… I'll come by and pick you up, no need to worry about that." He thought he heard the trace of a snicker in that, but decided to dismiss it.
"Alright then. Now put on some clothes."
Misaki paused. "How do you know I'm not wearing clothes? Are you stalking me?" He heard her walk, presumably to the window to check if he was hiding anywhere outside.
"You always bathe at 8.30 in the evening on Fridays," he said.
"Usui you stalker! Perverted alien! Die and go to hell! Geez…" The line went dead then.
Usui set the phone down on the table and got a bowl to transfer the noodles into before adding in the cooked egg and vegetables. He smiled to himself. That girl was just too cute.
The next morning, Usui was sound asleep in his bed—thank goodness Licht had been curled up at the bottom of the bed and didn't mess anything up. He was awfully exhausted. Even when Licht came to nudge him on the cheek with its tiny paw, he didn't budge.
It also went without saying that he didn't hear the click of the front door being opened and the stealth-like steps of several intruders entering his apartment. They looked around, scanning the place, and then silently crept into his room like mice.
They carefully opened the door to his bedroom, all nodding to one another and waving their hands about, gesturing frantically and communicating instructions. Two of them walked over to the bed, and Licht, instead of protecting its master like it should have, simply jumped off the bed and ducked in a corner.
"1… 2… 3… now!"
Usui woke up when someone put a sack over his head quite roughly, but he was still too dazed to react, and was quite easily knocked out with a punch to the head. The only thing he registered before he slipped back into unconsciousness was that the fist felt vaguely like Misaki's…
Usui woke up with a start and all he could register was noise. It was dark, but it was so noisy around him. He could hear little children screaming their heads off in exhilaration and fear, and older people chatting away. It was dark everywhere though, and he couldn't see anything. For a moment he wondered if he was part of a serial kidnapping case, until he realized that his limbs weren't bound and that he had a sack over his head.
Pulling it off, he squinted a little at the sudden exposure to light, and then proceeded to scratch his head. Where was he?
"Finally awake?" Someone beside him asked.
He turned his head to the owner of that voice. "Kanou?"
"Oh! Look, look, Usui-kun's awake!" Yukimura exclaimed in excitement.
Usui reached his hand to touch the top of his head, only to find a bump there. He winced slightly at the new sore spot. "What happened? Where am I?" he asked. He scanned the surroundings, and realized that he was with the usual group of Seika students sitting around a table in front of a hotdog stand.
"Misaki-chan, I think you hit him too hard. He seems to have gotten dumber," Hinata said while munching on two hotdogs at the same time.
Usui narrowed his eyes at Hinata. "What's the insignificant guy doing here?"
"Don't call me insignificant!"
"Hinata, you promised," Misaki warned with a slight glare in her eyes.
"But it's so hard! This guy keeps saying confusing things and it's annoying!"
"Misa-chan hit me earlier, didn't you?" Usui said, staring at her flatly. She was dressed in a striped shirt and a pair of dark green shorts. How she managed to look so beautiful effortlessly was beyond him.
Her smirk was poorly disguised. "Don't worry, I made sure to make it extra painful for you."
"You're so mean, Misa-chan…"
"It's Misaki!"
"Misa-chan."
"Misaki!"
"Misa-chan."
"Mi—" She cut herself off, realizing this argument was going nowhere. So, she settled for a glare.
"By the way," Usui said, pointing to his clothes, "Did you change my clothes?" He wasn't in his pajamas anymore; he was wearing a pair of jeans and a gray V-neck tee.
Misaki blushed. "Of course I didn't, idiot! Yukimura and Kanou did!"
"From the way you're blushing… You peeked didn't you? Naughty Misa-chan."
"No I didn't! I'm not a pervert like you!"
"But you wanted to see didn't you?"
"Why, you…" She reached over and grabbed him by the front of the shirt.
"Anyway," Sakura began with a wide smile, as if nothing serious was happening right then, "Happy birthday, Usui-kun!"
"Happy birthday," Shizuko echoed, with a small smile.
"We didn't know what to do, so Pres decided to go to the carnival together. We heard that it's really fun too!" Yukimura added. "Happy Birthday, Usui-kun!"
"Yeah, happy birthday…" Hinata muttered. His mouth was chock full of food and yet he could speak rather coherently.
"Wait… we're at the carnival?" Usui asked again, yet to register that piece of information.
"Yeah," Misaki walked over to stand next to him. "I didn't know what to do this time so we decided to give you a surprise."
"Well, this is very surprising…" He didn't say if it was a good or bad one. For one thing, he'd completely forgotten about his birthday; he never had the habit of celebrating it anyway. And for two, he didn't want to stay here. In fact, he just wanted to walk out on everyone, but Misaki had been the one who planned this, so leaving wasn't an option.
His head jerked about, trying to check if the coast was clear. Thank goodness, he didn't see one of those creatures around. He had only been to a carnival once, and had vowed never to go back to one again.
Unfortunately, he just had to get a girlfriend who would bring him to the place he detested the most.
It wasn't that he didn't like the atmosphere or the food or the rides; they were rather nice. It was just the fact that he had a certain fear that he didn't want anyone to know about. No one needed to know, especially not Misaki; she'd never let him live it down.
"Guys, can we go yet? I want to go on the spinning tea-cups!" Sakura said, bouncing up and down in her seat, thrilled. Shizuko didn't look as keen, though.
"Sure, let's go!" Yukimura said, pulling Kanou up with him. "Kanou-kun, where do you wanna go first?"
"I'll go with Suzuna-chan!" Hinata jumped to his feet and pulled Suzuna along with him. Usui hadn't realized Misaki's sister was there till now. They waved goodbye and then Sakura and Shizuko left too, leaving Usui and Misaki together.
"Oi, Usui, did I hit you too hard earlier?" Misaki asked, noting the blank expression on his face.
He shook his head. "No, Taku-chan is very excited."
"Weirdo... I think I might have hit a screw loose in your head." She didn't look sorry for that, though, he noted. "Anyway, let's go. Where do you want to go first?"
"You choose," he smiled, holding her hand. He chuckled as he watched her cheeks turn a light pink. She was just too adorable. Even after dating for so long, the littlest of things still embarrassed her.
"Then… let's go play some games. I'm looking to win some prizes!" The steely determination in her eyes was rather intimidating.
As they walked towards the game stalls, he kept his eyes peeled for that thing, hoping he wouldn't cross paths with anything of the sort. For now, he couldn't find any, so that was good. Maybe there weren't any around at this carnival.
Usui and Misaki won almost every game easily, and it was funny to see Misaki get all revved up and determined to win, despite them being simple children's games. They earned many prizes, from large plush toys to bags to key chains.
It was hard to carry them all, and thank goodness a kind stall owner decided to give them a little cart to put everything in, and even some string to tie them up lest they fall out and create a barrier in the middle of the path.
"Misa-chan, where are you going to put all these things? Do you have enough space in your room?" he asked.
Misaki shook her head. "Of course I don't. They're… They're for you." A light pink tinted her cheeks as she said that.
His eyes widened slightly as warmth filled him. "Ah, Misa-chan worked hard for me?"
"I didn't know what to get you for your birthday… But the carnival has a lot of stuff so—"
She was cut off abruptly when he pulled her in for a hug and her face knocked into his chest. "Thank you, Misa-chan. I'm glad."
He could feel the heat from her face through his shirt. "N-No need to thank me. You've done a lot for me before too, haven't you?"
Usui chuckled and kissed her hot forehead gently. "You've done a lot for me too. I'm lucky to have a girlfriend like you."
"It's not that big of a deal…" Misaki muttered, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing him as well.
"Anyway, I think we've visited all the stalls and wiped out all the prizes. What do you want to do next?" she asked.
Usui looked around for any rides they could go on. Then, his eyes landed on the perfect place to visit.
"Follow me," he said, pulling her hand and the cart along with them, trying hard not to snicker at the thought of what her reaction would be.
"I'm not going in! I refuse to! It's a waste of time and energy!" yelled the poor, distraught girl. Usui had left the cart of prizes with one of the staff at the ride they were currently standing in front of and was now trying to stop Misaki from running away, all the while smirking to himself.
"Come on, Misa-chan, it's not scary. I'll be right beside you so there's nothing to be afraid of."
She glared at him and tried vainly to snatch her wrist away from his vice-like grip. "I'm not scared, I just don't want to go in!"
"Isn't that the same thing?"
"No, it isn't! I'm not scared of the male toilets but you don't see me going in there!"
Usui chuckled. Only she could come up with an analogy like that. "If you want, you can hug me all the way through it."
"You perverted alien… Was this your goal all along?" Her voice was dangerously dark, though he wasn't fazed.
"No, my goal was to enjoy this ride. It's just titled "Haunted Wagon Ride". It doesn't mean anything."
"It's haunted! It's scary!" she yelled, attempting to punch his chest with her other hand. Unfortunately for her, he caught it as well and now she was struggling to push him away from her.
Time to pull out the killer move. "But… I want to go… It's my birthday and I hardly get to go to a carnival…" He did his best sad, puppy eyes look, knowing it was the one thing that she couldn't resist it.
"You…" Misaki was at a loss of words at the pitiful expression. "But…"
"Please?" Usui put his face nearer to hers, making it even harder for her to decline.
With a burning face, she heaved a loud sigh and nodded meekly. Usui grinned. This was going to be one interesting ride.
The queue wasn't too long; it was only a fifteen-minute wait. When it was their turn to sit on the moving cart of hay, Misaki was already squirming. She tried to make up various excuses to get off the ride, but Usui held her back, distracting her momentarily by kissing her on the lips. By the time she stopped hitting him for that sneaky move, in public no less, the ride had already started.
It was a dark area in the woods, and it was eerily silent. Misaki's heart was thumping loudly in her chest, afraid of what was to come. Her boyfriend held her hand firmly in his, but he said nothing.
Out of the blue, a skeleton hanging on a stick just beside them began to move. Misaki jumped and gasped at the sudden movement, squeezing her eyes shut.
Usui was trying his best not to laugh. "Misa-chan, it's just dancing. Look." She lifted her head and reluctantly opened her eyes, only to see more skeletons approaching the cart like zombies resurrected from the dead. They were growling and roaring, some calling out for their souls. Two of them had their hands touching the cart and Misaki, who was fidgeting about accidently touched a bony finger.
She screamed and held on to Usui for dear life. "Usui, you liar! They're coming! They're coming! Get them to stop, Usui!"
Just then, the cart passed through a gate, with multiple signs saying, "Do not enter" and the like. The skeletons slowly disappeared in a thick fog, but Misaki was still not comforted. "Usui, I want to get off this ride…"
"Sure, but if we get off then there's no way out…" he said in a creepy voice. He felt goose bumps appear on her arms and she meekly buried her face in his clothes. This ride was actually much better than he thought. He hadn't expected Misaki to be so scared.
"I'm right here beside you. There's nothing to be afraid of. Besides, this is just a ride, nothing's going to actually hurt you."
"Right… it's just a ride… It's just a ride…" she chanted to herself and then she swallowed thickly, forcing herself to sit up again, though this time she was much closer to Usui and he had a protective arm around her.
"You're right, this is nothing much," she said breathily, as they passed several more zombies and bloodied dolls reaching out to them with faces contorted in horror or completely disfigured.
"See it's not scary, right?"
"Yeah, I guess, this is—" She screamed then, when out of the blue, three Sadakos fell from above with bloodied hands outreached and hair making contact with the pair's faces.
"Okay, that was a good one," Usui said with a smirk. That had caught him off guard too. "Usui, I can't do this anymore…" Misaki whimpered.
"It's over. That was the final one," he smiled reassuringly, and true enough, the evening light shone through the open door ahead of them, and the familiar noise from outside filled their ears again.
Usui thought Misaki was going to cry in relief when they got off. Instead, he got a few punches and kicks from the girl. "I can't believe you! Stupid Usui, I'm never listening to you again!"
He laughed then, though her punches were probably going to leave a few bruises here and there. "You did great, Misa-chan. I thought you were going to die in there for a moment."
"You're the one who's going to die now!" If looks could kill, he'd have gone up in smoke by now.
"There, there, now it's Misa-chan's turn to choose where to go next."
With a huff, Misaki stormed off while he got the cart and followed after her. "Do you want to go on the merry-go-round?" he asked sweetly, sidling up next to her.
It took a while to appease her, but eventually he did and they decided to go enjoy some of the rides, like the spinning tea-cups—where Misaki had brutally spun the tea cup so hard that other people felt nauseous just by looking at them—and the merry-go-round, just to relive some childhood memories. They then proceeded to the Ferris wheel.
The night view from the top of the Ferris wheel was beautiful; it overlooked the neon signs and shining lights from the fair, and a distance away they could see some dense greenery. The best part was the sky, with the pearlescent moonlight shining radiantly upon them, accompanied with an army of stars that twinkled in their spots quietly.
"It's nice, being up here," Usui said.
"Yeah, everyone looks so tiny from up here," Misaki agreed. They gazed outside, and then Misaki asked, "Hey Usui, I'm just being curious here, but what are your weaknesses?"
He raised an eyebrow curiously. "What do you mean?"
"It's just that, you always seem so perfect and you can do almost everything. Isn't there something you can't do?"
"I can't jump off a cliff, do a somersault, spin in the air and then fly up into outer space, if that's what you're asking."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Anything human you can't do?"
"Of course there are. I just don't want to show you."
"Why not? I hardly ever get to laugh at you, other than your stupidity, although it usually only makes me mad."
"I just don't want to," he shrugged.
"Stingy."
"Mean."
"Idiot."
"Moron."
"Stupid."
"Cute."
Misaki blushed at the sudden attack, making Usui chuckle again. Soon, they reached the ground and then it was time to make their way back to the same place everyone had been earlier.
On their way back, they passed by two children carrying dog-shaped and flower-shaped balloons. Misaki smiled. She remembered getting those things as a child.
Several children were running ahead, mentioning something about getting more balloons from the balloon man. Usui, noticing Misaki's look of excitement, asked, "Want to go get a balloon?"
She met his green orbs and averted his gaze immediately, though she nodded. "It's been a while since I've gotten one."
"Let's go, then."
They trailed behind the bubbly children and then came to a stop at the queue for balloons. It was rather long, and Misaki insisted on going back since this was for children and they had to meet up with the rest soon, but the man wasn't listening. He dragged her to the back of the queue, and looked to see where the queue ended.
It was then that he laid his eyes on the "balloon man".
His hand seemed to lose its strength all of a sudden, as it involuntarily released the handle of the cart. It fell to the ground with a clang. "What's wrong?" Misaki asked, but his eyes were trained on the creature standing a distance away from him.
Shit, he should have backed out of this carnival thing from the beginning. Of course they would turn up at a carnival; they were always there. Their ghastly white faces, bloated bellies and smeared blood red over their mouths… Shivers crawled up his spine at the vague memory of his first encounter with those things.
He didn't want to move further. He refused to. There was no way he was getting close to anything like that.
"Usui, what are you doing?" Misaki shook him, and only then did his head snap back to her. "Sorry… I just got distracted back there. How about you go get your balloon? I'll wait here."
"Huh? But that's no fun… Never mind, let's just go back to meet the rest. The queue's too long so we won't make it in time, anyway."
He heaved a sigh of relief internally.
They were heading back, only to find that the rest had already gathered. Then, Kanou noticed Usui and Misaki approaching. He alerted the rest of the group and then everyone leaped up, hurrying over to where Usui was.
"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to Usui-kun, happy birthday to you!" they sang in unison, clapping along while Sakura held the cake in her hands.
There was a candle on top of the small chocolate cake, and the corner of Usui's lips turned up. "Thank you."
He blew the candles, and then everyone clapped as he cut the cake. "Let's take a group picture! Hang on," Yukimura said, running off to find someone to help take a picture.
Usui was busy arguing with Hinata when Yukimura arrived again, bringing with him the helper.
"Yay, let's take a group picture!" he said, and everyone huddled together.
Usui froze when he saw who Yukimura had picked up.
Of all people, it had to be that?
The clown smiled an impossibly wide smile and took a picture. The bright flash of light blinded Usui, but still his eyes were fixated on the clown.
Internally, he was panicking. The clown was coming closer. And closer. And closer.
It reached a big, gloved hand out towards him, and he swallowed thickly, stiffening. It was taking everything just for him to not get out of his seat and run the hell away.
"Happy birthday, man!" The clown chirped, but Usui was frozen in his spot.
"Eh?" Sakura was looking at the picture. "I wonder why Usui-kun looks so terrified?"
Misaki went over to see as well. True enough, Usui's face was contorted with horror and his face was rather pale. "We should take another picture, then. Maybe he was surprised by the light?"
She looked back at her boyfriend, who was still frozen and staring at the clown who was trying to shake hands with him.
What was he doing? Just take the clown's hand and shake it like a normal person! But it was kind of odd that Usui wasn't even moving or staring at the hand with his poker face like he usually did to people he deliberately ignored.
What was with him all of a sudden?
She was about to go over and ask him herself when it clicked.
So that was why…
And then she burst out laughing.
"Usui-kun, go on. Shake his hand," Hinata said, poking him. "Oi, are you awake?"
"Misaki, what are you laughing about?" Shizuko asked.
Usui remained stock-still, and then in the blink of an eye, he was out of his seat and standing a couple of meters away from the clown, who now looked rather confused.
"I guess someone's not so perfect after all…" Misaki snickered to herself.
The next day, a noise in the kitchen woke him up. His first guess was that Misaki was there, so he dragged himself out of bed and quietly snuck up behind her, hoping to give him a scare.
She was in the kitchen, making a bad attempt at making pancakes. It was all charred and looked pretty much inedible. He grinned. No matter how much he tried to teach her it just seemed she wasn't cut out for cooking at all.
"Misa-chan," he whispered by her ear as he wrapped his arms around her waist.
Funnily though, she didn't jump out of her skin or punch him like she usually did when he did that.
If anything, he was the one who got the shock when she turned around.
Her face was a ghastly white, with bright pink cheeks and red lipstick smeared all over her mouth.
Immediately, he was at the other end of the kitchen, heart racing impossibly fast. "W-What are you—"
Misaki doubled over from laughter at the hilarity of the situation. "I finally found your weakness," she smirked, wiping a tear from her eye, "Mr. Not-So-Perfect."
A/N: Sorry if this story wasn't as funny as you expected it to be since "Humor" was one of the genres stated. I don't think I'm a very humorous person hehe. Anyway hope you liked it nevertheless! I re-watched some episodes of this anime so I could get into character and then I fell in love with it all over again hehe.
Do spare a few seconds to type out a short review if you don't mind? (: Thanks for reading and God bless!