AN: A Christmas special that I wrote for everyone! Have fun reading! I really could've divided into like 6 chapters…but…oh well. I am going right to work after Christmas on Crystal Dropplets, so for now, have fun with this one-shot!
Untitled Memories
By Dream4luv
"Li Xiao Lang! You are going to volunteer at that hospital over winter break whether you like it or not! We came to America to start a new future, you need to make it to a good college, and colleges look at this kind of stuff."
"Ma, I don't want to go! It's a hospital for retards!" Syaoran said, folding his arms over his chest. It was winter break, not a time for giving, but a time for selfishly sleeping in, hanging out with friends…
"Li Xiao Lang! Don't talk in such an awful manner! They are people too. And they are brilliant, their minds are merely trapped in a body struck down by the hands of God. You would do good to be with them, not your stupid friends all day. They're the ones who act retarded." Ye Lan frowned at her son. "Please, Xiao Lang, just go for a week, that's all I ask."
"That's half the break!" Syaoran exclaimed.
"Please, Xiao Lang, think how proud your father would've been. It's hard for me to support us here, since your father died. We, your sisters, you, and I moved here so you could escape the duties of being head of the family, the duties that you did not wish to fulfill. Just do this once, I won't force you if you don't want to go again next year." She pleaded. "I know, it's the 18th, only a week till Christmas, but, will you?"
Syaoran couldn't stand seeing his mother sad. After all, she was the one who supported his decision to move here…made the sacrifices she needed to make to give him a happy life.
"Fine," he grumbled.
"Thank you, Xiao Lang," his mother moved to embrace him, her head settling on his cheek. "I'll be sure to ask Wei to send you there tomorrow."
"I can drive myself," he said.
"I know, but I want Wei to get you there."
"Do you not trust me to get there myself?" Syaoran said bitterly.
"Of course, I do. Just…" Ye Lan sighed.
"Whatever." He moved away, "Call me when dinner's ready, I'll be upstairs."
As he passed through the wide open window, he saw the first flakes of snow that winter fall from the sky. Great, he'd have to miss a snow day with his friends…they'd probably all be somewhere skiing, or snowboarding. Having fun. He'd be hanging around in a foul smelling clinic surrounded by the mentally disabled. Joy.
"Are you ready, sir?"
"Yeah, I'm ready." For once, his Chinese accent slipped through his lips. He had mastered it well since he arrived when he was just 11. As a 16 year old, he had had 5 years to cover it up. It was still difficult. Up until he was 11, he had only had a few lessons in English. Upon arrival in America, his accent had been fluent and heavy. Even his teachers had difficulty understanding through his thick Chinese intonation. His peers had often jeered at him for mispronouncing words. Within the first year and a half, he had learned to cover up most of his accent, but his tongue often twisted to pronounce a difficult word. His perfect English pronunciation cost him a lot of effort, repeating the words through his mind before speaking.
But the kids had stopped making fun of him and the pointing and stares had lessened. Soon, he was just one of them, and that's all that truly mattered.
"Syaoran, your mother wants me to pick you up at 6:00 today, so I'll come find you when it's time." Wei said, gripping the steering wheel. "Good luck."
"Thanks."
Syaoran watched the car drive through the snowy road, his sneakers dragging through the fluffy, cold substance as he entered the door. As soon as he got to the reception desk, a bright brown-eyed, brown-haired nurse greeted him with a kind smile, offering him a cookie from a plate.
He shook his head, "Li, Syaoran."
The girl typed in his name quickly, her fingers darting over the keyboard, "S-y-a-o-r-a-n, right?"
"Yeah, that's me."
"You're the new volunteer for the winter?" she inquired clicking something with her mouse.
"Mmhmm."
"Ok, well, I think you're all set. Here's your nametag, and your key to your locker…it's right down the hall." She handed him a laminated plastic rectangle with a clip on it and a metal key. "Now, remember, this hospital is for people too mentally disabled to function in the real world, and it's also a hospital for some of the slightly…um…mentally unstable. You're really free to do whatever you want, Syaoran. The volunteers usually come here to visit with the patients, to keep them from being lonely, just be sure to read their files before you go to a room."
"Uh…ok." Syaoran replied. What was with all that 'keeping them from being lonely' shit the nurse was spewing. The patients were mental. They probably couldn't tell the difference.
"No slacking off!" the nurse called out cheerfully. "Right now, we have just a few patients at the ward. Usually we let the families take them home for the holidays, when they have a few days off work and can take care of them. Let's see, we moved the patients that are staying here to the second floor. And those are the only few you'll be seeing this season. Have fun."
His hands slipped into his pockets, dropping his key into the denim as he walked up the stairs to the second floor. He looked at the white, sterile halls, walls, doors, windows…and basically everything else. It was so bland in the hospital. It was as if the hospital were just one big sterile box.
Not noticing where he was going, he accidentally knocked someone over. He heard an "umph" sound as the person hit the ground, and along with them came a variety of other noises, glass breaking being one of them.
"Sorry." He apologized, helping the cerulean eyed girl up from the dank, white tiled floors.
Her ebony hair fell over her shoulder as he looked up at him. "Oh, that's ok. Things like that happen…Hey! Are you new here?"
"Yeah, do you know what we're supposed to do?"
"Oh, all volunteers go and talk to the patients. Some of them have favorites, and others just visit with different people daily. Hmm…let's see, I've talked to just about everyone…oh! Wait, I forgot, go to the end of the hall and turn left at the last door. I didn't get a chance to speak with her today. Just keep her company, ok?"
"I guess that sounds easy enough," Syaoran said, grinning a little, although the back of his mind still yelled how awful this experience would be.
A silent knock rapped lightly at the door, catching Sakura's attention. The door knob turned as a tall and lanky boy with wild brown hair and amber eyes stumbled in, looking confused.
"Uh…hi there." He mumbled.
The girl smiled a little, patting a spot next to her on her bed. A motion for him to come over.
He took a seat on her bed spread, his feet touching the floor. He didn't seem to know what to say.
The girl smiled again, frowning a little this time. She handed him a book. It was colorful and bright. Upbeat. The pages filled with only a sentence at the bottom of each. She smiled, nudging him with her arm a little, instructing him to read.
Her eyes close as his voice resounded through the room. The book was done. He closed the back cover and handed it back to her.
"Beautiful." She murmured slightly, clutching it to her chest.
Syaoran wasn't sure what to say. "It was kinda…stupid." It came back a little rougher than he felt.
Ok…he sounded a little bit like a jerk. It was an opinion for god's sake! He shouldn't have felt bad for saying it.
The girl shook her head slightly, "Beautiful." She repeated, flipping open the first page of the book, her hands shaking rapidly, shuddering the pages so much that one couldn't see what was written on it. A determined look crossed her face as she forcefully moved her hand on the page to steady it. The book continued shaking, but much lighter this time.
Syaoran smirked a little. Was that all she could say! How stupid, how pitiful…how pathetic. "Are you seriously retarded? Maybe they should just kill all the retards off the earth…It'd be a much better place."
It's not like she knew what he was saying. But something in his eyes told him differently. The girl snuggled into her soft white bed covers, her face peaceful…
She seemed to be asleep now.
Syaoran left the room, closing the door behind him.
He saw the raven haired girl in the hall at the counter before the staircase. "Hey."
"Oh, hi! We never really got introduced, I'm Tomoyo…Daidouji," she added as a second thought, extending a hand out for him.
"Syaoran Li," he introduced, shaking her hand.
"Did you talk to Sakura?" the girl inquired.
"Yeah, she's asleep now, I read her a bedtime story." He chuckled. "A bedtime story, I grew out of that a long time ago. What a baby. So who forced you to come work here, Tomoyo?"
"Oh, no one. I come here to be with Sakura most of the time, but sometimes I talk to the other patients." The girl shrugged, her face clouding a little as she heard Syaoran laughing at her best friend.
"Why!" the boy exclaimed, surprised.
"She wasn't always this way, you know! Right now she's physically and mentally handicapped…and the doctors diagnosed her with slight paranoia, they always heard her panicking at night, waking from a dream. That's the only time she actually talks in full sentences, at night…" the girl's face turned down in a frown. But she continued her story.
"But she used to be normal!" Tomoyo felt like screaming. "Sakura's special. She grew up in a very expectant family. They always expected her to get A's, beat everyone else, take all the hardest courses, join the most prestigious clubs, make it into the best university…the works. She was a very creative girl, but she wasn't always the best at everything. She was 5th in her class. Taking 2 or 3 AP courses every year…taking 2 extra classes than everyone else after school. She never really got to make her own decisions, you know? Her parents decided them for her, and she followed, even if she didn't like it. Because she was scared to speak her mind. She picked the classes that her parents probably would've forced her into anyway. And she always lived in fear of not being able to please her parents, or her teachers. She wasn't exactly very confident in what she did. She always second guessed herself and her decisions because she thought she was a disappointment to the family."
"So? Did she suddenly snap?" he demanded.
"No…but she was always trying to impress everyone. Trying so hard for the dreams her parents lived through her. And one day, she couldn't handle it anymore. I didn't know until a month after she had started, she was cutting herself. Hurting herself to relieve stress. But one day, I had her trying on this line of clothes I had made, and the dress she was wearing was backless…when I saw, she told me she was cutting herself, I was surprised. Not only were there scars on her back, but also on her hips. Thin and quick slices near her stomach. I tried to stop her…I told her parents, but they didn't believe me. A week after that, she jumped from a bridge into the river. She was a good swimmer, but no one could swim against the currents of a rising storm…and she almost drowned…Luckily, the ambulance got there in time. But she was hurt…badly. She had lost a lot of memory, and she had forgotten how to move, and she developed a speech deficiency. They were able to get most of her body functions to work again, except her legs. And sometimes her hands and arms go into spasms. But you know what? I don't think Sakura's gone forever. I think she's still in there, hiding…from her old life because the ghosts from her past are still haunting her, and one day, I'll be able to make her let go…" Tomoyo looked up wistfully at Syaoran.
"Insightful story, but I doubt it. She doesn't look like she's going to get better." Syaoran said, his monotonous voice echoing through the hall.
"She will!" Tomoyo exclaimed. "She'll be just like her old self!"
"Just face the facts, Tomoyo! She's not getting better. Not now. Not ever! Just give it up and leave the insane alone!" Syaoran hissed loosing his temper at her hopefulness.
"She will get better, Li Syaoran. And you and I are not friends…if you're unable to believe." The girl stormed off loudly down the hall, her raven hair flailing behind her.
The next day, Syaoran entered Sakura's room carefully. Today, his mom had forced him to stay until 10:00….at night. He frowned; this would be a boring day.
She was sitting on her bed, looking at the snowfall outside her window. A box of chocolates sat next to her on her nightstand. Syaoran walked over to it, and took a chocolate from the container, dangling in front of the girl's face and then sticking it into his mouth. He was convinced she didn't notice. Her face turned to face his as her emerald green eyes looked searchingly in his amber ones.
It felt like his emotions were being bared to her, for some reason. But that was impossible. This girl couldn't feel, couldn't think! She was stupid.
For some reason, he began doubting that.
Her eyes looked sad and dull as she watched the falling snow. She returned to watch it. Out of nowhere, the silence in the room was broken, "Pain?...you?"
"No." Syaoran responded evenly. His heartbeat shook as she had easily read and realized the pain that was buried in the back of his mind…where even sometimes, he forgot about.
"Truth." She said lightly, her eyes following the flakes falling from a serene sky, covers pulled tightly over her body.
"It's nothing!" Syaoran yelled jumping from his seat next to her. "Just mind your own fucking business!"
Her eyes looked so sad. And it looked like she pitied him.
"I don't need you!" the amber eyed boy spat out.
The girl smiled encouragingly, "Tell…please."
"Forget it."
"I…" footsteps in her mind traced back to a time long ago, "…understand."
His eyes shot up, only to meet the back of her head.
"Secret." She whispered, turning her gentle face to look at him, a finger resting over her lip, motioning that she wouldn't tell.
Oh well, why not? She was mental, he reminded himself. She wouldn't tell, she probably wouldn't remember. Besides, if she did, she wouldn't know enough words to tell the story. They were feeling-less, stupid, ignorant nothings that just occupied space. It was like telling his deepest, darkest feelings to a soapbox, Syaoran reminded himself. He took a breath, and his mouth began…
"I was raised in Hong Kong, in China…and my family had always been really traditional about things…carrying on the family legacy and such." He frowned. Why was he doing this? But he found he couldn't stop.
"Both sides of the family wanted me to become the head of the family. The only one who disagreed to it was my mom. It was the only thing that my parents had ever argued about. Taking over the family business, and giving up all hopes of a future that I wanted. I grew up never really knowing who I was. All I knew were the duties that my family was forcing me to accept. It didn't matter that I didn't want to do it. It only mattered to find a quick replacement for my father, if he ever died. I was the only male born from my mother and father, so I was immediately put on the seat as heir to the estate. I was confused about things. And even when I moved here, it always seemed like the past was chasing me, refusing to untie the strings that bound me to them. Just as suspected, when I was 10, my dad went missing from a plane flight, and I was next in line to the companies we held. My mom wanted me to have a life of my own, so we escaped…"
Sakura nodded wistfully, her eyes empty…sad and melancholy.
"…to here. A new life. But the family refused to support us because we were run-aways. It was hard for my mom. To buy a house, raise a family, my sisters and I. It still is…she works seven days a week as a chef, a librarian…careers that don't take her far from home. She can't get jobs as a teacher because she doesn't know enough English. But she offered to baby sit Chinese children when they're little to teach them their mother tongue. I'm not even sure if I'll get into college if I don't get a scholarship. Life was so clear back home, but I never wanted it, and now that the road is uncertain…it seems even more frightening than before, you know?" he sighed, his hands ruffling his hair, he didn't even realize that his accent had slipped again.
The girl smiled sadly.
"And when we got here, the kids made fun of me, because I didn't speak much English…and I had a heavy accent. I didn't understand their ways…customs. Whatever you want to call them. I've spent half my life trying to be good enough." Syaoran muttered absently.
Sakura's hands shook as she placed a shaking hand over his, willing him to calm down. She smiled sympathetically. It was shy and kind and gentle at the same time. He felt his mind still as he took a shuddering breath. "Sorry, I'm sure you didn't want to listen to all that bullshit."
She shook her head slowly, indicating that she didn't mind, her facial features calm and tranquil.
"But, what would you be doing otherwise? I'm sure it's not like you would've found anything more interesting to do…" Syaoran said to himself under his breath. "I'm the one keeping you company…not the other way around."
Sakura stirred a little in her bed. Her fingertips touched the window where a flake of snow had melted. "Out."
"What! You want me to take you for a walk in the snow? Are you out of your crazy mind! It's freezing, and I don't have a jacket. Plus, people will know you belong in here since you're wearing white!"
"Not…belong…" she said lightly.
"You do belong here, Sakura! You belong in this hospital for mental people! You're crazy! You tried to fucking kill yourself. That's how you ended up in here! Or else…you'd still be out there, enjoying life, not living a mistake in this ward. It's your own fault!" he sneered at her. "If you want me to help you break out, you can just forget it!"
He stomped out of the room, hearing the door slam loudly behind him. How dare she? What was he now, her servant because she had heard him out? Listened to his story? She was out of her mind…or was it…
No, it couldn't be!
Was that the real her? The real Kinomoto Sakura that Tomoyo had been talking about? As he turned events in his head, and compared his and her stories, they seemed amazingly similar. They were both running. Running away from their pasts, running from killing their wills trying to please and impress. Had his story stirred something in her? Something that Tomoyo believed to still exist within Sakura's sanity?
The following day, his mother had forced the same time on him. He'd have to stay till 10:00. He sighed. He really didn't want to see Sakura. Maybe he'd visit another patient today?
Apparently, most of the patients had been taken home, only 5 left at the hospital.
He tried the four other doors, but 3 were already occupied with other volunteers. The occupant of the 4th room was asleep. He groaned inwardly. That meant he'd have to make small talk with Sakura…again.
He pushed open the door, in hopes that she might be asleep as well. She wasn't. But Tomoyo was in her room. She was setting up a small 4 foot Christmas tree in the corner, hanging ornaments, and plugging in the lights. A small gift lay at the foot of the tree. Probably from Tomoyo…
Tomoyo was the first to notice Syaoran's presence. Her eyes narrowed, "What do you want?"
"Nothing…just visiting." He shrugged, pulling off his green gloves.
"Are you sure you belong here? I mean, you don't even like it here! Why stay?"
"Because my parents are forcing me to!"
Tomoyo's face flushed. She hugged Sakura and glared at Syaoran. "Well, I guess I should leave you to care for Sakura now! I don't want to be in the same room as you!"
The girl stomped away, her heels clicking on the clinic floors…even as she walked further away.
Syaoran huffed. He didn't really mean to be so rude. He was just used to it.
Sakura smiled warmly, her cheeks slightly flushed from being tucked so tightly into the covers. Her fingers lay on the glass, she tapped it lightly. "Out."
Her smile…
He had never realized it before, but it was…beautiful. In fact, for the first time, he looked at her. Observed her. And he found that she was amazing. She was small of frame and looked thin but her face was soft and accepting. Her kind emerald orbs seemed to read deeply into his feelings.
He gulped.
"Fine…" he muttered.
She smiled, pleased.
"Hang on." He grunted. He ran out of the room, returning with a wheel chair. Was there a coat she could put on? After all, the shirt she was wearing looked like it wasn't made for cold weather. He looked in her closet but all he could find were several pairs of white shirts and pants. "Uh…do you have a jacket?"
Sakura shook her head.
He felt like hitting a wall. He couldn't take her out in this weather!
"Please?"
"Ok…fine. If you want to be out in the cold."
He pushed the wheel chair up next to her bed. Next, he proceeded to pull Sakura from her position. Holding her bridal style for a moment, he managed to settle her in the chair. "Ok, here we go." He muttered as he pushed the chair out of the room.
Her hands shook excitedly as she grasped the handles of the chair. She smiled at Syaoran.
"Floor one." Syaoran said to himself as he waited for the elevator to come.
The two were outside in no time. Snowflakes fell from the cloudy sky. Sakura giggled as the flakes caught on her lashes and hair. She put out two hands to catch the falling slivers of cold white substance. Sticking out her tongue, the girl managed to catch a few.
Syaoran couldn't help but smile a little as he watched her in the snow. It must've been her first time out in the snow since a long time. She was like a little girl, he was sure that if she could, she would be dancing in it, twirling her arms like a child.
Then she did something completely unexpected. She shook herself from her chair and dropped into the snow. Spreading herself out as much as she could, she lay in the soft fluffy whiteness, letting it engulf her.
"Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing!" Syaoran spluttered. "You're gonna catch pneumonia!"
The girl just grinned and began flapping her hands up and down from her sides. "Angel!"
Syaoran stared in disbelief. Was he seeing what he thought he was seeing!
"Help?" the girl giggled as she patted her legs.
She wanted him to finish the snow angel.
"I hate snow." Syaoran said hastily. "It's cold. Not helping. I already got you this far, you are not getting me in that stuff."
The girl just laughed and smiled, flailing her arms. "Help! Help! S-Sya…Syao-r-ran!"
Syaoran looked at her. His name on her lips felt so…amazing…like she was the first person to truly say it. He wasn't sure why, but it just felt so special when she said it. But how did she know his name anyway?
"You know my name? How?"
"Tomoyo!" the girl said. "Help!"
The boy silently helped Sakura back into her chair and carefully lay in the same position, his head and body in the holes Sakura had made. He flapped his hands and legs, and when he got up, he realized how horrible he had made the angel look. It looked like a bear had sat in it. Her imprint could still be made out lapping with his, because she was shorter than him, his legs extended past the point of Sakura's, like they were the souls of two people in one body.
"Sorry…guess I ruined it."
The girl giggled again. Syaoran soon found himself chuckling too. Not really knowing why. There was something about Sakura that just made him want to feel happy.
Sakura's shuddering from the cold was the only thing that brought him back to reality. Her clothes were soaked from the melted snow.
"Come on, let's go."
The afternoon after, Syaoran was strangely ok with going to volunteer. In fact, he was kind of looking forward to it.
It had been a hectic morning; he had to drive his mom to some office or other so she could take a test to apply for citizenship. It had taken her over 2 hours to come out of the testing room. Afterwards, the family had lunch together…something they didn't do quite often anymore. Before he knew it, it was 3 o'clock.
It took half an hour to get to the hospital. He went up to Sakura's room, holding something in his hand…a self-wrapped square shaped mysterious something, topped with a beautiful pink bow. As he opened the door, he saw Sakura turn her head slightly to face him.
"What's behind?" she looked curiously at him. The parcel was too big for him to hide completely behind his back.
"It's f-for…um…I mean, uh…it's nothing…" he lied. Why couldn't he just give it to her? Would she like it?
She seemed to think it was enough as she pulled out a thick book with a hard brown spine. She patted the seat next to her, smiling her usual emerald eyed smile, "Join me?"
"Just hold on a sec," Syaoran backed out of the doorway. He made his way quickly down the stairs, stuffing the gift into his locker. It was safe to return to Sakura's room now. She didn't have to find out that he had cared enough to bring something.
"Hey." He said as he pushed the door open.
"Hi."
He walked over to her bedside, taking a seat. The girl flipped open the cover of the book. It revealed a photograph of a beautiful young woman with hazel eyes. "Mom."
Syaoran looked over her shoulder. That was her mom? She was pretty. In fact, Syaoran could tell where Sakura got her looks from.
Her looks…he had never really thought about it before, he'd only seen what had been in her face…her smile, but her figure? Sakura wasn't the most beautiful, stunningly, gorgeous girl he had ever seen. Her curves weren't defined or practiced as other girls he'd seen. He knew for a fact she didn't get up early in the morning to work out at the gym. Yet there was something special about her. Not only the way she smiled. But the way she talked without underlying meaning. The way she looked so bright and hopeful when he entered a room, like he was the only one that ever meant something. How she turned her head to see something coming, always with acceptance, not forced by judgment and peer pressure. How she wasn't tainted by a constant contest for popularity. So simple, yet sweet.
She continued flipping through the album, smiling as if connecting a great memory with each photograph. Her hands clasped together in delight as she saw a picture of her and Tomoyo at an amusement park, both hugging a huge cuddly teddy bear.
Syaoran grinned at seeing the picture. She looked so happy…how had the girl now, and the girl in the photos attempted suicide? Was there something more to the story? Something that Tomoyo didn't want to tell him…or was it something she didn't know?
He felt Sakura tap his shoulder. He looked at her and offered a small smile to show he was paying attention. She smiled back. Pointing at a picture of a tall young man. "Brother!" she chuckled a little. A page flipped, "Dad!"
Syaoran watched. He got off the bed and settled for the chair next to it. His amber orbs looking deeply into hers. He drew in a breath to say it. Would she hate him for trying to help her? "Sakura. I need you to tell me what happened. Why did you try to kill yourself?"
Sakura's face fell and her eyes stared into space. Her fingers shook as she twiddled with a page corner of the album. She drew a breath, as if preparing to tell a long story, "I…"
It seemed as if something held her back. As Syaoran looked into her eyes, he realized it was fear. She shook in her bed. She took breaths, trying to calm herself.
Syaoran saw the difficulties she faced, he held out a hand for her, one that hers grabbed on to tightly.
At least, she seemed calm enough.
"It's ok…I mean, if you can't talk too much about it." Syaoran said, trying to make her comfortable.
Her grip on his hand tightened, "No. I…c-can…t-t-te-ll you."
He nodded, squeezing her hand back.
"I…I was 13. A-and…I found, this g-guy. H-his…name was Yuji Hats-u-mo…" the girl began shakily taking in deep breaths to try to get the story out. To try to release what had been bottled up for so long. "He was…nice to m-me. So…when he asked me out, I s-said…yes."
Syaoran nodded and gave her a meek smile, feeling a little jealous that she had a boyfriend…or used to have a boyfriend. Either way, it made his blood boil. Why?
Sakura's voice seemed to strengthen. She was stuttering less, "A-and he was…nice to me…for a long, t-time. Then, I said…that…I didn't think o-our relationship…would work anymore, he g-got so angry. W-when I told him…he—"
Her story cut off as the nurse from downstairs ran into the room, out of breath, "Syaoran, someone is here from your family; he says it's an emergency!"
"What?" he stood up, accidentally tipping over the chair he had been sitting in.
"Hurry!"
"Sorry, Sakura, finish telling me tomorrow?" he said apologetically, letting go of her hand.
"Sure." The girl smiled.
It seemed she was finally coming out of the dark. She was grasping a part of her old life again, by telling her story, by confronting her past. Her head relaxed on her pillow as she sighed and smiled. What would she have done if she had not had a friend like Syaoran there by her side?
Syaoran grabbed his jacket from his locker, quickly putting it on and running out to the front desk. He saw Wei standing there, a gloomy look on his face.
"Wei? What's wrong, what was the emergency?"
Wei sighed, looking down as if pitying him, "I'm sorry, Syaoran. But your mother wanted me to tell you that they came for you."
"Who?"
"Your grandfather. He wants you to come back to Hong Kong. They thought they didn't need you, but the company's falling apart without a proper leader…head…whatever your want to call it. You have to take the position. The workers trust someone of the Li family. Because you guys have headed the business for five generations."
"They can't make demands of me! I can go where I want!" Syaoran snapped.
"They're offering a lot of money." Wei said seriously, "They're taking you. Even if they have to force you on the plane."
"They won't be able to find me."
"I'm sorry, Syaoran."
"When do they want me to go?"
"They're only willing to give you 3 more days. You'll leave the morning of the 25th."
"But that's Christmas day!"
"You have to go home to discuss this with your mother. This way…" Wei walked out the door. Syaoran followed, his shoe kicking the snow off the sidewalk. The two got in the car in silence and drove home that way.
"We need you Syaoran! Do you really think you can just neglect your father's company? It's the Li empire!"
"So what? I'm only 16, what do you want to do about it? I'm not trained. Maybe it's time for the company to fall."
"Syaoran, this is the family business! Would you neglect your duties to us!" his grandfather demanded.
"YES!"
"I'm sorry, Syaoran, but that's just not a possibility. You are coming."
"No, I'm not!" he fumed.
A slap resounded through the room. Ye Lan flinched to see her son being hit.
"You are coming whether you like it or not. You were never disciplined enough. I see now that will have to change!"
"Fuck you." Syaoran snarled.
"You are coming Li Syaoran. It is your place." His grandfather said as he walked out of the room, the door slamming sharply.
"I'm sorry, Syaoran. We came here…for nothing…" his mother said, taking a seat next to him with a comforting arm over his shoulders.
He shrugged her off, walking out of the room.
It was a crisp morning. Syaoran had left early for the hospital. He just needed to get away.
Walking to his locker, he turned the key, and stuffed his jacket in side. He stared at the brightly wrapped gift and fingered the pink bow on it. Would he have a chance to give it to her?
The locker door slammed shut.
"Hey." Syaoran said as he took a seat next to her.
"Hi." She smiled.
"So…where were we yesterday?" he said as he offered her his hand.
Sakura grasped it, and her lids closed over her emerald orbs, "When I told him, he…hit me. And he threatened me. H-he, said…that if I ever left him…he would k-kill me…and he sa-said that it w-wouldn't stop there. He said he would kill my family, t-too. S-so, I kept going out with h-him. But af-after that…he was so horrible. He'd c-cut me…on my back w-when no one saw. He w-would come to my hou-se…when no one was h-home, and he'd lay me o-on my stoma-ch, and a knife would be in his ha-hand…He always c-ut me where nobody could see." Sakura grimaced, keeping her eyes shut. "A-and then, Tomoyo saw, so…I told her that I…that I was cut-ting myself…and I g-guess she told Yuji…because h-he was always in a b-bad mood. Ab-about a week after, I was a-at the bridge, by myself in a storm, be-because I loved to be outside when the weather changed…The rain drops on my face…felt so relieving…like it was…washing away everything. B-but then…"
Her face fell, as her eyes opened. She looked at him, her hand shaking as she grasped his tightly.
Syaoran saw her discomfort and moved to sit on her bed closer to her. She smiled gratefully.
"I heard footsteps in the rain…when I t-turned around, Yuji w-was standing next to me. He sl-slapped me across the face. I'll never forget what h-he did. H-he bent down and whispered…in my ear 'Traitor. You and your family will pay the price. I told you not to tell!' T-then he pushed me off the bridge. I tried to swim. I-I thought I would m-make it…but the c-current was so strong…my head hit a rock…and I passed out. W-when I woke up…" she paused, her hand squeezing his tightly, "I was here. T-tomoyo came…and told me that they had arrested Yuji…for killing m-my parents and brother…for murdering them…"
Sakura whimpered and cried, her frame shaking with silent sobs.
"Shh, it's ok." Syaoran whispered, a painful throb shaking his heart. He moved his arms around her in a tight hug.
"Syaoran, w-what…am I going to do? My family's gone…I-I'm in this hospital, and…and even if I got out…who would want a cripple like me?"
Syaoran rocked her back and forth in his arms; he automatically answered, "I'd want you."
Sakura looked up at him inquisitively, "Really?"
Realizing what he said, he blushed but nodded, "Of course."
"Thank you…" Sakura said sleepily, closing her eyes.
Syaoran stirred to move, but her hand grasped his tighter.
"Stay with me…?"
"Ok."
The girl was asleep. Syaoran sighed. It was a strange feeling he had been feeling for the past three days. Every time he saw her…he wanted to be there for her. She was something that always crossed his mind without warning. Why? It was because he liked her…maybe even more than that. But he'd only known her for 5 days! Could that be enough time for him to fall in love?
Maybe with Sakura it was. She was so sweet and warm to him. He had never met anyone who looked at him that way. Someone who cared enough to listen to his story…someone who cared enough to be patient with his attitude.
A hot blush spread to his cheeks. That was…that was the reason he had fallen for her…but he had to leave in 2 days…
How could he tell her? How would she respond…?
Just one day till Christmas Eve. Syaoran looked in his locker for the 5th time in two days…he sighed. He took out the present quickly, as if cameras were watching him.
"No…I can't…I can't give this to her." He muttered absently, pushing it back into the compressed space.
He shut the locker door and he walked casually up the steps. Reaching Sakura's door, he heard voices inside. One belonging to Sakura (of course) and the other to Tomoyo. He pressed his ear up to the door to try to hear what was going on.
"Ok, I'll come back later." Tomoyo's voice neared the door.
Syaoran hastily pulled his ear from the door…panicking. He couldn't be caught eavesdropping! He took a step from the door, wondering where to run, when the door opened and Tomoyo ran into him.
"Ah…Sorry…" he said, his hand behind his head, attempting to look unsuspicious.
"Oh no, that's ok." Tomoyo said, giving him a grateful look. She shut the door quietly behind her and leaned on it. "Thanks, by the way, Syaoran. I apologize. I was wrong about you."
"Um…for what?"
"Well…I never could get Sakura talking…but you did. She told me the whole story when you left yesterday. So you know…I'm sorry for blowing up at you. You're the only one who's ever gotten her to talk…for real…"
"Well…uh…no problem, I guess."
"Ok! So there's no hard feelings?"
"'Course not."
The girl made her way around him cheerily and skipped down the hall…
Syaoran sighed. He had bigger things to worry about other than forgiving Tomoyo. He pushed the door open to see Sakura sitting in her bed as usual. She noticed him in the doorway and turned to give him a toothy smile, "Hi, Syaoran!"
"Hey." He took a seat next to her.
"It's snowing today. Isn't it beautiful?"
"Sakura. Can…I tell you something?"
"Sure!"
"Sakura, I um…I'm leaving on Christmas…back to Hong Kong."
"On vacation?" she looked confused.
"No…for good."
"B-but I thought…that your mom…brought you h-here…"
"To escape?" Syaoran said bitterly. "That's what we thought, but my grandfather found me. He's making me go back…because the company's falling apart."
"No…Syaoran, I-I don't want you to go!" Sakura said sadly, pausing, a gloomy look in her green eyes.
"I'm sorry Sakura…"
"It's not your fault." Sakura shook her head. "We'll just make the most of our last days, ok?"
He sighed, "Sure."
"Do you want to…take me out in the snow again?"
"You don't have a jacket!"
"Oh…right." Sakura looked down at her hands, then focused her gaze outside in the frost covered garden.
"Ok." Just to make her happy. "Lemme get my jacket."
Returning 5 minutes later, he handed it to her. "You'll need it more than I will, anyways."
"Thanks so much, Syaoran!" she hugged the jacket to her. She slipped it on before Syaoran helped her into the wheel chair.
He pushed the chair outside as Sakura dropped into the snow. She shivered a little before smiling. "Make a snowman with me?"
"Well…ok."
He kneeled in the snow, completely soaking his pants. He picked up a wad of snow and packed it together making a tiny snowball. He rolled it in the snow, back and forth to form a big snowball. Sakura rolled hers in the snow as well, forming a perfect sphere.
Syaoran's bunch of snow kept on breaking. He hit the snow in aggravation. "Stupid snow."
"Patience is a virtue." Sakura giggled.
Syaoran frowned. "So is hitting girls with snowballs, but you don't see it stopping me!"
A cold, poorly compacted ball of snow hurled at Sakura's shoulder.
"Ahh! How mean!" Sakura giggled gathering her own snowball and hiding it behind her back. "Hey, Syaoran? Could you help me up? It's getting kind of cold." She let out a phony shiver as she rubbed her free hand on her arm.
"Ok." Syaoran stood up, dusting himself off of all the snow. He walked over to pull Sakura up when a giant white snow ball was thrown down his shirt. "Ahhh! I can't believe you did that!"
"Good girls are just bad girls that don't get caught." Sakura explained plainly, laughing.
"Oh really?" he quirked and eyebrow at her, not even taking the time to make a snowball, he grabbed a handful of snow and threw it in her face. "Take that!"
"Oh stop it!" Sakura said wiping the snow from her face. "I'll get you!"
She got up on her arms and lurched at him, but because her legs didn't support her weight, she toppled forward…onto him.
"Oops, sorry!" she said, giggling as she rolled off his chest.
"Umm…" Syaoran said blushing. Had that happened?
"Are you hurt?" she asked, kind green eyes looking at him.
"No. I'm fine. You?"
"I d-don't know, I could've…could've sworn my leg just jerked. She sat in the snow, rubbing her right leg.
"Maybe the doctors were wrong? Maybe you'll get better!" Syaoran exclaimed.
"I don't know, was it…was it just me? Maybe I've been imagining things. But really…it felt as if I had feeling in it again." Sakura said, staring at her leg.
"Come on, let's get you back inside, you can ask Tomoyo to call a doctor for an examination later." Syaoran replied, pulling Sakura gently into the chair and wheeling her up the ramp.
Ahh…Christmas Eve…today was the day…he had to tell her.
He stared at the present in his locker and gulped. He bravely grabbed it out and headed up stairs. It was now or never. He might not ever get to. Taking a calming breath, he opened the door.
He saw Tomoyo sitting next to Sakura's bed. Brushing her hair. They both turned to see him come in.
Syaoran took a breath again, "Uh…Tomoyo, c-could I talk to S-Sakura…alone?"
A mischievous glint sparkled in Tomoyo's eyes. "Of course." She walked to the door, giggling as she shut it behind her.
Sakura looked as confused as ever. "What's wrong, Syaoran?"
"I-Sakura…um…t-this is for you." Syaoran said, handing her the flamboyantly wrapped gift.
"Oh, wow! Syaoran! You didn't need to. Should I open it now?"
"Whatever you want." Syaoran replied nervously. "I-I'm leaving tomorrow morning at 10 in the morning."
"Then…I'll open it now!" Sakura's eyes sparkled as she carefully plucked through the tape, removing the bow, taking care not to damage the paper. "Oh wow!"
In her hands was a colorful hardback covered book titled "The Color Winter."
Sakura's hands slipped over the glossy cover as she opened to the first page, "It's beautiful…these illustrations are amazing!"
"You really like it?" Syaoran asked, relaxing a bit.
Sakura nodded enthusiastically. "Yes. Would you please read it to me?"
"Sure." He opened to the first page, reading the test at the bottom of each page.
"'When I was a young boy living in California…'" Syaoran read, holding the book enough for Sakura to see. She was smiling and he was too.
"Thank you. That was wonderful!" Sakura said. "OH! Did I tell you? Tomoyo brought in a doctor last night, he said that if I had enough physical therapy, I might be able to regain my ability to walk!"
"That's great!" Syaoran beamed.
"I'm going to try extra hard for you because you were the reason I found the strength to attempt it in the first place."
"Well, I am best at it." He joked. Then his face got serious, "Sakura…I have to tell you something…before I go."
Sakura was still laughing and giggling, "What?"
"Sakura…I-I…um…" Syaoran said looking at the ground.
"What?" Sakura asked, giving him an encouraging smile as she brought his face to look at her.
"I…" his gaze shifted away, looking in the corner of the room. He drew a deep breath and stared deeply into her emerald orbs. "Sakura…I, I think I'm in love with you."
As soon as it came out of his mouth, he looked away, too scared to see the rejection in her eyes. He felt the grip on his shoulders loosen as Sakura plopped her head onto her pillow.
"Syaoran…I…" Sakura shifted uncomfortably.
"You know, it's ok if you don't like me back…I won't…it won't change our relationship now." Syaoran said quickly.
"No…It's…um, not that. I just…I'm a little shocked, I guess. I'm not sure how…I feel." Sakura said nervously, twiddling her forefingers.
"That's ok…you don't have to give me an answer now…maybe I waited too long." Syaoran said, trying to ease her discomfort.
"I mean…you've always been there. Even though it's only been a few days…you…you're the one that helped me through everything…made me believe in myself. Made me strong enough to tell my story…it feels like I've known you for a long time. Like we're child hood friends…But…I…I don't know if what I feel for you, is more than friendship. I'm s-sorry. I…I just need some time to think…" Sakura admitted quietly, not looking at him, "A-and I know…that you don't have the time for me to think…that you're leaving tomorrow…I just…"
"It's ok," Syaoran murmured gently, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I'll wait…outside…"
His fingers stroked the tips of her auburn hair and he left quietly.
Night fell. The lights in the hall were bright. Darkness engulfed the world outside the windows. 7:30 already…Syaoran sat on the floor outside her door. His back against the wall. He sighed, pushing his chestnut colored hair out of his eyes. As long as she hadn't said no, he felt there was still a shred of hope. Something to be sanguine for.
Tomoyo walked by with a tray in her hand. "Here." She handed it to Syaoran. "She just wanted some time alone…to clear her mind. Take this to her, will you?"
Syaoran got up off the floor. "Sure."
He knocked on the door. Unsure if he should enter.
"Come in…" he heard Sakura's meek voice call.
He opened the door slowly. Taking the tray to her bed, "Here…I brought you dinner."
"Um…thanks…sit down, please," she nodded slowly at the chair beside her bed as the tray was set down on her lap. Her hand stretched out to grasp his…something custom by now. Her eyes closed, "I…I thought a lot about what you said earlier…and…I decided…"
Her pale cheeks warmed a little with a pink tinge as she opened her eyes to look Syaoran in the eyes…as he had done for her, "That…I-I love you too. Very much. Because you helped me…and were there for me, and that is the most I could ever ask for. You did it so naturally…you didn't hate me because I was different…You accepted me…and for that, I am so grateful. So grateful that you chose to be with me…even when I doubted myself."
Suddenly the lights flickered and shut off.
Sakura looked up uncomfortably. Almost scared. "…Syaoran…I'm…I'm afraid of the dark."
Syaoran stood up from his chair, ecstatic that Sakura returned his feelings, he flicked the light switch on and off. Nothing.
The only light in the room came from the moon, as its radiant rays filtered through the window in front of Sakura's bed. Syaoran took a seat in the chair. He felt a wide smile spread on his face, "You know what? I fell in love with you…for the exact same reasons."
Sakura giggled slightly, pulling up the covers a little. "S-Syaoran…will you, come lay with me?" she asked pulling open the covers enough for him to slip in.
He lay with her silently, his arm hugging around her shoulders. The two stared up at the moon.
"What…will happen when you leave, Syaoran? I-I don't want you to go…" Sakura asked as she turned to face him.
"I don't know. We'll meet again…I'll come back for you. Don't worry, Sakura…I'd never leave you behind." Syaoran promised as he closed his eyes.
"You have to pinky swear, ok?" Sakura extended her pinky.
"Ok." He linked his pinky to hers as they shook on it in silent agreement.
"I'm going to miss you so much…This will be our last night together…for a long time." Sakura said sadly.
The snow had begun falling outside her window, looking like crystal flakes as the rays of the moon hit them.
"Our last snowy night. Do you still hate snow?" Sakura asked.
"Yes. Definitely, but not the memories that are buried in it. Whenever it snows, I'll be sure to make a snow angel for you…No pain, no gain, right?"
Sakura nodded softly. A few stray tears collecting in her eyes. One slid down her cheek as she lay facing him.
"Hey…no crying, ok?" he murmured quietly, wiping the tear away.
Sakura sniffled a bit, "Ok, no crying."
"Sakura? C-can I kiss you?"
"It's been so long…what if I'm bad at it?"
"You won't be."
His turned to move closer to her. Their faces merely inches apart. Sakura felt her eyes close as his lips met hers in a sweet and simple kiss. An innocent kiss that bound all the rough times, all the sad times, and all the fun times together.
AN: All right! Took me 4 days to write. I know it moved fast…but...it's a one-shot. Not sure if anyone really liked it, so please review and tell me what you think! In fact, PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! Because I worked so hard on this! I'm posting it at 1:00 in the morning! JUST…PLEASE! (Sorry for all the errors, didn't have time to proofread...YIKES!)