Tite Kubo & whoever he sold copywright rights to own Bleach, not me.
Little bit OC characters, but I don't think Tite ever wrote them completely wasted, So, who knows? Zanpacto trivia (including how to spell that word) are from memory and probably not totally accurate, sorry.
"Hey Renji, I just measured my sword and it's about 6 feet long! Check it out!" Ichigo held his sword in front of him and thrusted his groin a couple times.
"That's nothing, my sword is like 20 feet long when it's released." Renji smiled smugly and leaned against the railing of the soul society veranda on which they were speedily consuming alcohol.
Hisagi took a sip of his sake, shifting his eyes down and away from his friends. "You guys measure your zanpactos? Who does that!?" He muttered disgustedly, barely heard over the music from the party inside the house.
Renji and Ichigo smirked at Hisagi.
"Your zanpacto is a chain type, and the actual blades aren't all that long. It's not your fault, some guys were just born bigger, that's all." Renji gulps down the rest of his sake.
Ichigo rolls his eyes with difficulty and tips a drop of sake onto the floor. "That's not until your release, though, Renji. Mine's huge now." Ichigo's foot knocked one of the empty sake bottles scattered around them and it fell down the veranda steps, glinting in the light of the full moon and warmly glowing lanterns.
"Ah, whatever! That's because you don't have enough control of your own release. I can hold it till I need to use it." Renji's smirk turned into a broad grin.
"Suuure."Ichigo sarcastically moaned. "My Getsua Tencho's release is huge!"
"My Bankai attack is just as big if not bigger-"
Suddenly, their mouths were frozen shut as Rukia walked by with her own smirk. "Look what my zanpacto can do, boys!"
please help me improve: did the details about the environment distract from the main point? Thanks for any input