Title: Chasing Cars
Rating: PG
Pairing: Kate and MikeSummary: So he stayed, laying beside her, watching her struggle with demons he wished she would share, knowing as he did so that he would for the rest of his life
Spoilers: This is my take on what happened in the aftermath of One Perfect Day so anything up to and including the finale
Disclaimers: Sea Patrol and it's characters are the property of McElroy All Media, while Chasing Cars is the property of Snow Patrol. No Copyright Infringement intended
Author's Notes: Driving along listening to the radio, the song 'Chasing Cars' by Snow Patrol came on and it became my inspiration for a fic
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you just lie with me
And forget the world?
Chasing Cars Prologue
Mike stretched out on his back, his fingers laced behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling. He had no clue as to the time or how long exactly they had been laying there in silence, but little light streamed through the window and for the first time in days the humidity had dropped low enough that he didn't feel the need to dash to the shower. At some point he knew he would have to go home to his empty apartment and try to sleep but that could be anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours depending on the woman laying on the deep pile rug beside him.
Once upon a time they would have cooked dinner and shared a bottle of wine on her veranda as the sky drifted from sunset orange to black, the conversation full of laughter and free-flowing. In light of what happened they no longer sat on the veranda as it reminded her of times gone by and of people lost; it reminded him of a broken love affair. Instead they had their own spot on her cream rug where they would lay, with the lights down low, or like tonight turned off, and only the softest of music playing in the background. Some nights they would just lay side by side, never touching, each just listening to the gentle breathing of the other, or losing themselves in whatever piece of music seemed appropriate for the mood of the evening.
Other times they would talk, about nothing and sometimes about everything. Or at least that's what they told themselves. It was pathetic in a sad sort of way; the way they drifted together at the end of a patrol, making up excuses not to go to the pub, not to sit in public and force themselves to make conversation, and instead they found themselves together, going through the motions. In some ways it seemed like all they had.
Mike raised his knee to his chest, attempting to alleviate the cramp that was building in his calf. Rotating his foot he pulled a face as his leg tightened. He stretched his leg out and let out the breath he had been holding so not as to disturb her.
Kate yawned beside him and he gently rolled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow. "My cue to leave?" he asked with a sad smile. In the four weeks they had been doing this he had never out stayed his welcome, never asked for more than he thought she was ready for and certainly never told her how much pain he was carrying. "You look bushed."
She waved him off with her hand. "It's fine. Stay a bit longer," she said, and he had to strain to hear her voice. "Please."
There was always an internal monologue where he debated the sense of staying versus leaving her to deal with her grief alone. He told himself that if he stayed she would feel safe and maybe not so alone for a while longer; if he left she would cry herself to sleep. So he stayed, laying beside her, watching her struggle with demons he wished she would share, knowing as he did so that he would for the rest of his life. He owed her that much. He wanted to give her eminently more.
Kate tried to stifle a second yawn but failed miserably. "I'm sorry."
"Do you think you can sleep?" he asked, shifting awkwardly.
She nodded because it was easier than lying. "Are you still getting the cramps?"
"Not so much," he said with a shrug of his shoulders. It was a lie. They were becoming quite adept at lying to each other.
"Go home." Kate eased herself up into a sitting position, ignoring the ache in her back. "We could both do with some sleep."
Mike sighed, knowing this was the point at which they pretended everything was fine. Then he'd go home and worry about her and she'd spend most of the night staring at her ceiling and thinking about the ghosts that haunted her. "Yeah," he said casually. "Tomorrow is another day."
"Another perfect day," she replied keenly.
Ducking his head in concession, Mike managed his way to his feet, sighing as he did so. "Eventually it gets easier, Kate," he offered, though he wasn't sure if he was offering that sage advice for her benefit or for himself. The lying really was getting too easy for them.