Disclaimer: I don't own "Emo Kid" by Adam and Andrew. Nor do I own Yu-Gi-Oh, Yu-Gi-No, or Yu-Peed-Gro[ss].

A/N: In honor of my thirst for writing ridiculous song parodies, I have created a brand new plotline dedicated to creating theme songs for the YGO characters. Enjoy this psychotic use of my time!

Bakura's Theme Song

"Evil Kid" – lyrics by Bob the Flying Monkey; music and structure by Adam and Andrew.

Kura's Journal

Mood: Quite Villainous

My life is bloody fantastic.
I got locked out of the house by Marik who insisted that my aura was throwing off his chi.
I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I could be in love with such a mental patient when I'm clearly too good not to do better. And it doesn't help that the git lives with me and I have to see him every day… And have to sleep with him at night... Something like that…

I'm an evil kid, crass and sexy as can be.
You'd be crass and sexy too if you looked just like me.
I have blood on my nails and a smirk on my face
I'm even evil enough to carry a big mace.
Yes, I like to stuff my victims in a bag.
I probably wouldn't have killed them, but they called me a fag.
So I look like a chick, and my chick is a guy;
That is rude so I will have to make you die.

You'll stop breathing, I'll slit your throat
'Cause I am evil.

Tied to a rock so your body won't float
'Cause I am evil.

I'm dark and sinister with high self-esteem;
The way I look makes all of my fangirls want to scream.
I make sure my boyfriend never has the time for sleep.
I explained this to the Pharaoh and made him openly weep.
Murder and playing card games is what I do best
Unless you count being sexy curled up on Marik's chest.
Oh ballocks, did I write that? That was really witty.
Now if Marik reads this stupid book, he'll say I am a kitty.

You'll stop breathing, I'll slit your throat
'Cause I am evil.

Tied to a rock so your body won't float
'Cause I am evil.

I take over bodies and like to gloat
'Cause I am evil.

I made Yugi write a suicide note
'Cause I am evil.

This theme song is a waste of space. I know, it's too gay. At least it's almost over, down to the last stretch of pathetic stanzas, stretched thin like an over-used musical concept… which attracts readers, by the way.

When I see the Pharaoh's friends, I feel like doing something fun
So I pull out my deck and think of all the games I've won.
I have a soft spot for cemeteries and the like;
I act out Zombie Holocaust with kids I dislike.
Don't come up to me and ask me if I'm Goth;
I can't tolerate stupid, and I will cut your head off.
My best friend, my boyfriend, my only friend
Acts like a bloody girl, but I still love him.

We sleep like we're dead and romp like homos
'Cause we are evil.

Screw college, we'd rather give crime a go
'Cause we are evil.

We pick on small children for a good show
'Cause we are evil.

My Marik dresses like a ho
'Cause we are evil.

I returned to the house later.
Marik was sitting on the porch with a box of wipes... and some fresh creampuffs.
Well I guess that's why I love him… Could I, evil spirit of the Millennium Ring, resist such a delicacy as a hot blonde who cooks?
That's my Marik, journal – my lover, a loony, Egyptian gravekeeper's son. He's my best mate.

I feel like tacos.

A/N: So yeah, it's kinda choppy. But this song is hard to work with – it's already a parody. Anyway, leave a review telling me whose theme song I should do next and which I need to use for it.