Author's Note: So, I started out today really wanting to write, but not knowing what. I was sitting in my living room with my laptop, trying to write some fanfiction for Naruto, and my sister was playing a new game we downloaded for the PS3: PixelJunk Monsters. It's really fun, but one part about it bugs me. The goal of the game is to defend a little town by building various defensive structures. The stupid part is that the people in the town charge you for said defensive structures. I mean, here you are trying to save their pixelated butts and they have the nerve to CHARGE you for it!? Who does that? D:

So, this drabble was born! I was searching for a way to explain why the townspeople had no sense of self preservation...

PixelJunk Monsters
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The Enemy of My Enemy is My Friend?

"…So if you would just build us gun turrets here, here, and here; some cannons over here on the left; and some arrow towers up above, I think we can adequately protect the town." The Turtle Man finished looking at the map, only to be confronted by the blank eyes of the Council Elders.

"For… free? You want all of that free of charge?"

"Well, yes," the Turtle Man said with a shrug. "These monsters want to wipe you out. It only seems logical that you and your citizens do everything possible to stop them."

There were a few minutes of hurried whispering from across the table as the little men discussed the news. It seemed less of a shock to them that they were being attacked in the first place, than that they needed to spend their own money on defense.

"So we are all agreed?" the eldest munchkin asked his fellows after they had calmed down. They all nodded in unison. "Well then. We have decided on a pricing…" A small orderly came forth with a heavily scribbled upon page and handed it to the Turtle Man. It read:

Cannon: 120 G
Gun Turret: 150 G
Arrow Tower: 100 G

And it continued on into weapons and buildings the Turtle Man had not even heard of yet. He threw the paper down in confused disgust. "What is the meaning of this!? You realize that we're talking about the lives of your people?"

"Yes, well, we can't do a thing without money," replied the eldest Elder.

"Oh yes, not a thing," crooned the other old munchkins.

"Can't do a thing without the gold to back it up!" finished one particularly miserly-looking one.

To say that the Turtle Man was a bit fazed by their response would be putting it lightly. These little people seriously thought that money was more important than the lives of their people? No wonder they were under constant attack. The Turtle Man was tempted to beat some sense into them himself.

"Let me reiterate: I need three Gun Turrets, four Cannons, and two Arrow Towers. Or. The. Monsters. Will. KILL. You."

"That will be 950 G."

"Argh!" the Turtle Man cried out in disgust. He turned around and faced the wall while he tried to regain control of his temper. It took a few minutes. The little Elders twittered together in more of their quickly whispered discourse.

A bit later, the Turtle Man turned back around. He spoke slowly, as if to idiots. "I do not have the gold you need."

This sent the munchkins into yet another round of discussion. Thankfully, it lasted shorter than the last. The eldest Elder spoke first once again, "Well, that has a simple answer. The monsters have money. Take the gold from them."

"Take it from them!" the rest echoed

"Steal it from their corpses!" cried a gleeful little munchkin in the corner. He had bright, shifty eyes.

The Turtle Man was shocked into silence once again. They expected him to loot the bodies of their enemies? Not that he had any moral problems with killing the monsters. It was what he was here for, after all… but disrespecting the fallen of any race seemed barbaric.

"Oh, and, while you're there, if you see any bluish-green beans, then bring those back to us too."

The Turtle Man thought back to his own village, where they were still valiantly fighting against their own monsters. This little village had yet to see any real devastation. Perhaps the Elders would be singing a different tune after the first battle. Soon, they would see that their plan was destined to fail; there was just no way the Turtle Man could pay for all the defenses himself, now could he? He would tolerate their money-grubbing for now, if only because he was quickly running out of time to build defenses.

Looting corpses was not an attractive option, but it still beat having to bury the villager's corpses.

The Turtle Man sighed in defeat. "I have 340G. What can I get with that?"