A/n: Good morning/afternoon/evening/night, and welcome to The Confidence is the Balaclava. First shot, first story, first time after a while of musing to get off my ass and finally write this motherfucker. I ship Edward/Bella in the end no matter what, so yes, this will eventually be an Edward/Bella story. Keep that in mind. Enjoy your read, and don't forget to leave me at least a little love? (-:

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I just really like fucking with the characters.

Chapter I

June 30th, 2001…

"Stop moping and just man the fuck up and go talk to her," I heard a booming voice behind me, along with a hard slap on my back. My eyes prickled lightly at the unwelcoming feeling at the meaty hand that belonged no other to the fucker named Emmett McCarty. I looked up at him and silently pushed up my thick framed glasses up my nose. Fucker…

A low sigh shot through my lips as I looked back to the object of my desire. Isabella Swan. Even her name sounded so pretty. Mind you, she was a lot more than just 'pretty.' Isabella was gorgeous. She was smart – graduating with top marks and with a full scholarship to Northwestern University. God, it just made her so much more sexier. She was beautiful, having a classic look that was hard not to love. Creamy milky skin that wasn't bruised or marked, naturally wavy brown hair that reached the middle of her back and the most gorgeous brown eyes that had flecks of amber in them when she looked into the sun. Yeah, so I had looked into her eyes more than once…

To say that I fancied Isabella Swan was a huge understatement. Maybe if I wasn't so chicken shit, I'd come to terms with the fact that I was head over heels in love with her.

It appeared that everyone could see that.

Everyone except her.

Was I thankful for that? I wasn't too sure.

Now you see, the thing with Isabella and I was that we were great friends. Best friends in fact. We had been since we were in junior kindergarten together when she stood up for me after I was pushed into the sandpit like the pathetic little twat that I could be at times. From that point on, Bella – as she liked to be called – and I were stuck together like glue. Fortunately, she was my next door neighbor in the small, dreary town that we were confined to by the name of Forks. This place sucked like fuck. At least Bella was always around to keep the excitement rolling.

In 7th grade, when I was about 13 years old, it really began to hit me just how much of a hot commodity Bella was. Guys in the grade above us sometimes approached us while her and I sat under our favorite tree during lunch time or recess time. It was tradition to have her read me one of her new books, and for me to take pictures with my crappy camera, sneakily taking some of her while she was really engrossed in her novel. One day, a young boy by the name of Tyler Crowley strolled over to us on one of Forks' rare sunny days. I should've known something was off the minute I saw a ray of sun that morning.

"Hey, Bella," he greeted to her lowly. My eyes immediately snapped to her and I saw that she had yet to look up to him. She was too busy reading.

"I said, hey Bella," Tyler pushed to her. My eyes were still trained on her form, clearly relaxed as if he wasn't even there. I stole a quick glance up at him and I could tell he was getting aggravated by her silence. I began to internally panic a little. "Are you fuckin' mute?" he suddenly said loudly, anger clearly displayed in his eyes.

I grew defensive.

Now, I wasn't big or lean or at least had a bit of muscle on me until I turned 18. Which I was still sorely lacking in that department. You could just imagine what I looked at 13 years old. Skinny, not too tall, shoulders slouched forward that my mother always complained about, ruddy hair and glasses that were too thick and too big for my face. There I was, the ant. And I was sizing up to the cockroach, Tyler.

"Don't talk to her like that," I whispered.

Tyler's eyes found mine and I could see the amusement dance in them. He scoffed and shook his head to one side, momentarily scaring me. I could've sworn he was about snap his own neck… I realized he was just trying to get his hair out of his eyes. I was a guy, but seriously, guys were fucking weird. "You want to start beef with me, Cullen? I don't fuckin' think so." He smirked and in a flash, leaned down to rip the book out of Bella's small hands. My eyes widened as I silently watched him rip the pages from the spine, smiling maliciously. The whole time I could do nothing but stare at him in shock and anger.

When he was through, he threw some paper shreds to my face, making me immediately flinch backwards from him. As he walked away, I literally snapped. No, seriously. I heard something snap. Or maybe that was the twig I just stepped on in my rush to get to him. "Hey!" I shouted as I ran to him. He turned around and with all the courage and strength I could muster in my manorexic body, I pulled my fist back and was about to connect it with his face.

Was, you hear that? Was.

He grabbed my twig like arm in his meaty one and laughed at me, throwing it down. He pulled his fist back and it immediately made friends with my bony jaw. I literally saw stars and I was flung to the floor, blinking rapidly and panting as I tried not to react to the blistering pain that shot through my entire face. I probably looked ridiculous. He leaned over my quivering form and just began to laugh in my face. I could feel the tears well up in my eyes as he just laughed above me. I was a failure. I was trying to act like a superhero when really, I was just as pathetic as the oaf laughing at me.

And then justice was really served.

Someone caught Tyler's attention, and in an instant, he was lying on the floor next to me, moaning and bitching in some kind of weird tongue. I looked up through my blurred eyes to see Bella now standing over him – same calm expression etched on her face, staring him down. My jaw popped open, despite the pain that was spreading.

"If you ever touch my books, much less rip one apart in front of my face, I will fuck you up. You hear me? And if you ever touch Edward again, I won't fuck you up. I will fuck you over," she said calmly. My eyebrows furrowed in mass confusion. Since when in fuck did 13 year old Bella swear? "Do you understand, Tyler?" she spat his name. I quickly stole a glance at him and realized he was holding his face with tears spilling over his cheeks and sputtered moans of pain out of his covered mouth. "Good. Glad we've come to an understanding."

She came over to me and held her hand open. My eyes widened in fear and awe. "Oh, calm down, Edward. I'm not going to hit you. Even though I should considering you were being such an idiot back there." I blushed and took her hand, yanking myself up and refusing to avoid her gaze. "But…," she started, "What you did back there was incredibly sweet, defending my honor and all." I looked down at her, startled out of my mind and saw her smile up at me. She stood up on her toes and leaned in, giving my cheek a really small peck. God, she smells so fucking nice… She suddenly walked away, recess being over.

All I could think about was that I really needed to get her a new book. And soon.

That was possibly the first and last time I ever got involved with her and guys that held an interest to her. The thing with Bella was that not only was she extremely beautiful, but she was confident in her looks. She carried herself well and knew how she could affect people. She never hid behind her hair or behind baggy shirts and pants that were a few sizes too big on her. She was modest in how she dressed and she had an aura about her that was just hard to make you dislike her. You had to like Bella.

In this, she gained many suitors. I wasn't too taken with that, considering over the years, the feelings I had for her were in full bloom. Where I spent only a few minutes of my day thinking about her, it turned into hours. Hours turned into days. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into years. I could say that I loved Bella all my life, especially during my high school years. She was and will always be my best friend. The best friend that I fell in love with.

I was unsure whether to act upon these feelings or to just shoot it down and opt for the "stay friends and don't ruin a good relationship" road. I was leaning more towards the latter, in all honesty. Talking about my feelings with Bella, about Bella was bound to get really awkward. And when things get awkward, I really start to talk. In under no circumstance, did I want that to ever even happen.

Back to the present.

I looked back to the arm that was still on my back and glared at it. Emmett and I were not friends. We were… classmates. Him and I were paired together for our final project in the Spanish class that we shared. We had no choice. I was too smart for my own good and all he could say was "donde esta la policiera?"

I suppose we worked well together. If you counted the fact that he enjoyed eating out my entire fridge like no tomorrow which left me to work all on my own. I liked it that way. I could get the work done and not have to worry about his input on what I did. I wasn't really easy to work with when it came to partnered projects. I was extremely iffy and I needed everything to just be perfect. Call it one of my many OCD tendencies, whatever.

I also suppose that after I graced us both with a very nice 95 as a final mark, he felt the need to talk to me the few chances that he could. Emmett and I didn't run in the same crowd. He was the typical jock, playing whatever sport he could sign up to and I was… crafty. I enjoyed sitting back and taking pictures and developing them in my very own dark room that I created. I guess it was my driven passion, considering it was really what got me into Rochester. I was glad that I would finally be able to just go and study what it was that I loved the most – photography. My parents were a little disappointed that I wouldn't be following into my father's footsteps, which was to take upon the architecture firm that my great-great-grandfather had begun and passed it down to his son from generation to generation. I'd rather take pictures of buildings than actually build them.

"Do you mind taking your arm off me?" I said quietly, looking up to him and back to his hand. He let out a loud guffaw and removed his hand from me. I sighed and slouched. "Thanks," I mumbled, looking back to Bella once more and reaching in my pocket for the cigarettes I always held in there. I walked to the door and wrenched it open, feeling the cool June air linger.

I pulled a cigarette out and lit it, bringing it to my lips for small puffs. I wasn't addicted to it, it was just times like these where I really needed to just smoke one and let off a little stress. "Are you at least gonna tell her you wanna bang her?" I heard Emmett ask from behind me. I hadn't even realized he followed me. I rolled my eyes and puffed a few more and let the smoke out slowly.

"Fuck off, Emmett," I told him as sincerely as I could. He let out another laugh.

"C'mon dude. She's your childhood sweetheart, we all know it. It's just about damn time that you grow a pair and tell the girl how you feel," he reasoned. I blew my last puff and threw it to the ground, breathing the smoke out and snubbing it under my shoe.

"It won't work," I said stubbornly, running a hand through my messy hair. "She's going to Chicago, I'm going to New York. That's that."

"So then how are you going to continue being friends?"

"That's different," I said. "We'll call and text and email and she'll rape my Facebook wall like she always does. So does it really matter? We'll stay friends because it's how it's meant to be." I looked up to the sky and realized that aside from the girl inside, the clear stars at late night were probably the only thing I was going to miss of this place.

"You're so moody, why'd you even come to this party anyways?" Emmett joked lightly. I rolled my eyes and stuck my hands in my jean pockets.

"Right of passage, I suppose? That and Bella wanted me to go since she wanted to go and I wouldn't let her sneak out alone. What kind of friend would I be if I let her do that?"

"Right. Friend." I could feel his eyes rolling far back into his head. I secretly wished they'd stick there so he couldn't roll them back down. I huffed and turned around, darting around him to go right back into the chaos that I'd recently left.

There was a constant cheering and wolf calling going on in a corner of the living room. My eyes swept up what they could of the place, trying to find Bella to see if I could quietly convince her in leaving. I fished for my iPhone and read that it was only a little past midnight. Still too early. I shook my head and slowly walked towards the crowd cheering, pocketing my phone.

What I saw almost made me want to puke and shit blocks. At the same time.

There she was, the object of my affection, cramped into the corner of a wall with her arms wrapped around someone's neck and her hands tangled into the person's hair. Her lips were moving frantically against theirs and her eyes were closed, seeming completely content and at ease while kissing this stranger. As quickly as I could, I decided to look towards the stranger.

Correction. I wanted to puke, shit blocks and shove bamboo splinters up my nails. All at the same time.

There Bella was, tangled in the tone arms of Irina. Jesus, I didn't even knew they spoke. Now they were kissing? I had to admit, it was a little erotic to watch but I mostly just felt uncomfortable. I was watching my best friend, the girl I loved, kiss another girl. How awkward, but kinda hot was that?

So there I was, a little past midnight, among the sea of people hollering and cheering as these two girls just went at it with their lips and tongues, one of those girls being the chick that I've loved since I was about 4. When they had finally broken apart for air, I immediately checked Bella's eyes to see if they were glassy, indicating that she was drunk. I was praying that she was, knowing that if she was, the kiss was just a mindless act of being drunk. I searched and searched. All I saw was lust and happiness.

As everyone began to dissipate, I walked towards her, still cautiously trying to see if she was drunk or worse – high. There was nothing off about her, so I decided to just go with the flow. "Bella?" I called cautiously.

Her head whipped around and she smiled largely at me, her cheeks tinged with crimson. "Oh, Edward! There you are! I was wondering where you had gone off to," she said.

Yeah, I bet you were wondering, alright…, I thought sourly.

"Do you mind just telling me what was that?" I looked towards Irina and watched her lazily smile at me. I didn't have anything against Irina, believe me. She was a cool chick, being a big as a bookworm and hard worker as Bella. She did run in a different circle, apart from Bella, but there were some days where her and Bella had lunch together, especially the days I could not due to working in the dark room in the school. This increased especially during the month of June but at the time, it didn't hold any interest of me. Now I was wondering…

She looked back to Irina momentarily and Irina just bobbed her head, smiling lightly. "If you're sure," she said softly, looking back to me and back to Bella. I saw Bella nod.

"I'm sure. I'll be back, 'kay?"

"Go on, I'll be here. I'll have to go find Tanya sooner or later," she giggled. Bella laughed along with her and pulled my hand as she wove through the sea of people to the very door that led to the backyard.

"It's really nice outside tonight," she said calmly as we walked around the perimeter of the backyard. Whosever's backyard this was, it was really spacious and nice and not very many people were in use of it. Which I enjoyed a lot.

"It is," I offered, "but it doesn't really help clarify what the hell just happened back there." I was a little…grumpy about it, to be honest. 14 years of knowing her and I rarely ever got as much as a cheek peck. Now a few months and one night she's making out with some girl.

She sighed and slumped her shoulders. "Alright, I don't really know how to even tell you this but here I go. Irina and I have been…secretly dating for the past two months. She asked me out in May and I said yes and up until tonight, we've kept everything about us on the DL. We didn't want to tell anyone, for fear that it'd get back to our parents or something and then we'd be the center of gossip until we left and we didn't want to have to leave with people looking down on us just because of a relationship," she rushed out. I was still on, "secretly dating." Wait, what?

"You're lesbian?" I blurted out.

Despite how I was feeling, she laughed. "Well, at first it was bi-curiosity. Then as I grew attracted to her it bloomed into bisexuality. But the more time I spend with her, I realized that maybe I'm neither. Because I still like guys, and I'm not really attracted to girls. I'm just attracted to her. So really, I can't base my sexuality off one person. I'm a straight girl who's dating a girl, and nothing more," she answered. My eyes were blinking rapidly, trying to wrap my head around everything she was saying. Bella? Bi-curious? Bisexual? Dating a girl? Huh?

"Wait… why didn't you tell me? I thought I was your best friend," I came up with lamely, the hurt evident in my voice. She sighed and lolled her head back towards the sky, as if the stars would give her an answer for this pretty shitty situation. I mean come on… We were best friends, right?

"I didn't know what to do, Edward. Things were still pretty knew and I just knew it would be awkward with you until you could see that I was actually serious about this. I didn't intend –"

I cut her off, "So you think that me witnessing you kissing your secret girlfriend was going to clarify any of that? I thought you were drunk, Bella! I even went as far as thinking that someone slipped some E into your drink!" She sighed one more time and shut her eyes, as if she didn't want to hear what I had to say. I was pissed, to be honest. But I was hurt more. Here was the girl I loved, the one that I had been pining after for 14 years, just to have it all roundhouse kick me in the face with the knowledge of her dating a girl. What the fuck was that?

"I know it sounds bad, Edward. I'm sorry, but I was confused and I didn't want things back to get to anyone. I'm not saying you would have told, but anyone could've over heard and that would've spread like wildfire!" That was true. "I didn't know what to do or what to even say at the time, okay? I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for not just coming out and telling you two months ago. But you understand what I'm saying at least, don't you?" she came to me and wrapped her arms around my waist like she always did when she needed to be reassured that I wasn't upset with her. And when she was feeling lonely.

Instinctively, my arms wrapped around her small shoulders and trailed slowly down to her small hips. Everything about her was petite and I loved it. Too bad it's all Irina's, I added dryly. I basked in the feeling of Bella in my arms. She was warm and small and she fit oh so comfortably against me. I wondered for a real moment that if we were a real couple, would it always be like this? I could feel my heart strumming, sure and strong in my heart. It knew Bella. It liked Bella. All of my body liked Bella. My arms tightened around her hips and I lowered my nose and lightly smelled the cinnamon scent of her hair. A little spicy doused in sweet. It was intoxicating.

"You're forgiven," I whispered into her hair. I was still in my own world. If she were mine…

She looked up to me and I swore, in the moonlight I could see each individual speck of amber in her eyes as she peered to me. "Are you sure? Or are you just saying that because it's me?" she quirked her plump lips into a smile.

I laughed lowly. "Maybe a little bit of both. But I am sure, you're forgiven. I see where you come from," I said. God, those lips… If only I could press mine to hers…

"Love ya, Ed," she whispered to me. I smiled.

"Love you, too, Bell-Bell."

Fuck, if only she were mine. I'm already hers.

o~o~o~o~o~o

Walking back into the house served as a little bit awkward as I was with Bella and I already knew where she was heading to. Bella suddenly squealed and ran to none other than Irina. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and shout a "FUCK" to the wicked Gods.

Irina was a pretty girl. Nothing comparable to Bella, in my eyes, but she was pretty. She was naturally blonde, her hair a little more straighter than Bella's but still held the nice wave. Her skin was lightly tanned, surprising considering the fact that there was barely ever any sun but I'd chalk it up to be a natural tan after a while of speculation. Her eyes were a rare shade of turquoise with brown surrounding it. I also chalked up that she was not wearing contacts and the eye color was indeed real. She was tall, standing at around 5'9 with a lean and toned body. She towered over Bella's tiny 5'3 frame but that didn't fool me. She was calmer where Bella was in her normal spit fire mood.

What made things more incredibly weird was that… Irina actually seemed like she cared so much for Bella. Clearly more than the 'friendly' way. When Bella wanted something, Irina would dash to get it for her. She'd wrap her arms around Bella protectively and she'd hold her gingerly as if she were the finest china. She was pretty much doing everything I couldn't.

It pissed me the fuck off.

At around 3 in the morning, we decided to just finally ditch and hang out in the bed of Bella's truck before heading home later in the morning. Tanya, Irina's cousin joined us. Normally I wouldn't mind but Tanya kept trying to cop a feel on me, which just pissed me off further because the two female lovebirds took this as an opportunity to indulge on this 'private time.' I was left with a small show of soft core lesbian porn and a hussy that wouldn't quit. After about half an hour, I decided it was my cue to leave.

Cigarette lodged between my lips, I almost bolted for my beloved car. Once I got in, I lit the cigarette, smoked a few puffs and put the key into the ignition, bringing the car to life. As I was peeling out, I saw Bella's face still attached to Irina's.

So I honked my damn horn.

The unwelcome noise made them jerk frightfully away from one another. I snickered as I drove by, smoking my cigarette and bobbing my head to the song currently playing in my car.

What?

I merely thought they needed air.

A/n: You know, for the first chapter I don't think I actually did half bad. Especially since I'm my own beta for the time being and it's currently 7:30am. So, what do you guys think? Alright, I'll bargain with you. Give me 12 reviews or more and I'll update another chapter as quick as possible. 12 reviews isn't so bad! Especially for the whopping 4,000 words I just barfed out. Again, I really like constructive criticism. So even if it's just a review telling me on what to work on, that's still good. Lemme have it, people I'm ready. (-:

Till next time!

-Sunny