A/N: Okies so I couldn't help myself. The Christmas magic has hit me. This story is dedicated to all the people who have read and supported my fanfic writing self. You know who you are. I mean if you want a list, just go ask Santa for the naughty list right? Teehee. Happy Holidays everyone! Here's my present to you all! – JB
- X-mas -
Twas the night before Christmas, let all be told! That this story you are to read is not quite wise or bold. On the eve of the most joyous day of the year, here comes a tale that hopefully will be held dear. There's going to be Robin and Starfire, and Beast Boy to boot! The presence of Cyborg and Raven, there will be plenty to hoot!
Jinx, Gizmo, and Mammoth will only add to the fun. See-more, Billy, and Slade, oh we are far from done! A story of only horror, drama, and angst will not be found here. This narrative was only written to cheer! And as the pretty moonlit sky shall be our backdrop. The rhyming apparently ain't ever gonna stop!
Two of three colors of Christmas are white and green. The other color represents one of the mean! But red is the color that is in question right now. X is the sign of treasure! Who knew? Oh wow! So I say to you Red X what shall you bring tonight? A joyous night of a thief, which should be totally out of sight!
So sit back relax and enjoy this fable. It's not like Cyborg will be sitting at your dinner table! For now I leave you with one last rhyme. The story now begins. I know, I know, about damn time!
- X-mas –
Act I - Silent Night, Holy… Theft…
(Titans Tower)
Besides the occasional Christmas jingle from a sweet singing choir or a rustling leaf swiveling down the block, Jump City was as quiet as a nice clean breeze. Now some naysayer from behind you or beside you might say this was a wee bit too quiet. But really what was there to complain about? This was a nice and cozy Christmas Eve. And the fine citizens of this city intended to keep it that way. Sure, there was no action of sorts, but in turn there was no trouble.
For the Titans this was always good news!
But alas my friends! As always, there was trouble on the horizon. For little did our Titans know that on this wonderful Christmas Eve that a pair of beady white eyes was watching, stalking their every move!
This is going to be too fun…
"Oh dear friends!" A red and green attired Starfire chirped away, admiring the final red ornament that she jingled on the fragrant tree. "For what do you think of my rendition of our tree of Christmas?"
All eyes in the room peered over from their respective spots, the mid-riff exposing Ms. Santa dressed alien proudly greeting her creation with joyous waves.
"Uber sweet Starfire!" Beast Boy commented as he was in the kitchen cooking up a storm, the imp appropriately dressed like an elf with a hat that looked quite pimpin' to say the least. "It looks great!"
It took only a couple of honest tries (40) but Starfire finally seemed to understand that there was such a thing as the possibility of 'too many' ornaments. Apparently to us humans, parts of the tree should be seen at all times. Tamaraneans didn't have this type of artistic limitation of course.
"Wow Starfire," A reindeer antler'd Cyborg peeped up as he was prepping for the big dinner party tonight for all their Titan-buds from all over the place. "Now that is an awesome job girl. Slap me some skin!"
High Five!
"Oh I do hope our friends from afar enjoy it in their sights as I have decorating it." Starfire closed her eyes, nodding cheeringly as she was always a bit more jumpy on the Holidays… as scary as that sounds.
"Oh they'll love it alright." BB sniffed his oven creation. "Just like they'll all love my signature pumpkin tofu pie!"
"Right," Cyborg stuffed that assumption with a good dose of sarcasm as he pulled out his honey baked oven ham. "Leave the cooking to me alright? And I'll leave uh… whatever it is that you do to you."
Huff.
"Yea, yea you laugh it up now," BB hmph'd, pulling out his culinary trophy. "But we'll see who's laughing when everyone's complimenting me on my dessert!"
"Well I for one believe it will be wonderful Beast Boy." Starfire took a long and hard whiff. "It smells quite delectable!"
"Why thank you Starfire." BB stuck his tongue at Cyborg in victory. "At least someone here has some good taste."
"Dude," Cyborg grabbed his honey basting spoon, glazing the ham. "You're talking about a girl who drinks mustard by the bottle."
"…"
"Heehee, friends, please, we should not be arguing." Starfire pranced around. "This is a time of joy, sharing, and of course, the voluntary consumption of plentiful bindings of the fruitcakes we will receive!"
"Please Starfire, don't remind me." The voice of reason stated from the living room area, the only Titan not adorned in Christmas wear looking as gloomy as ever. This uncaring 'act' was a no can do in some people's book. BB's book of course being one of them!
"Oh come on Raven." Beast Boy scowled annoyed. "Can't ya find a red cape and a green leotard? You need to get in the Christmas spirit!"
"And you need a muzzle." Raven replied behind her book. "Oh, there's a Santa request for you Beast Boy."
Anger!
"… So mean Raven…" points, "But really, come on. Even Robin is in Christmas colors."
"Beast Boy," Raven stared a hole through his empty head. "Robin's always wearing red and green."
"Oh... right," BB chuckled while scratching his head. "Well then he should ask Santa for some new clothes!"
"Oh Santa! The Santa Clause!" Starfire clapped happily. "I have prepared for his arrival tonight with milk and cookies! And a special treat of my people! The Blazerwag tails!"
The alien pulled out a dish of insect looking creatures, almost seeming to be alive. Insecticide sushi was definitely a mood killer. And as Cy and BB's faces went into a sick motion, Raven just shook her head in disgust.
"I know I'm not really into this Christmas Thing. But aren't we trying to coax Santa into giving us our presents? And not scare him off?" Raven muttered for the sake of muttering. "I don't know. I could be wrong."
"Y-yea Starfire." Cyborg plugged his nose. "I uh think it's best we just leave milk and cookies."
"Yea, and the fact he doesn't exist-mmph!" Raven found herself being muted by a gloved hand, BB shaking his head wildly.
"Santa will be glad for the cookies… right Raven?" BB held the sorceress' mouth shut, his green sights staring at a quite angry glare. The imp slowly pulled away like he was staring down a rattlesnake, laughing nervously as he closed his eyes, trying to go as cute as he could.
"P-please don't kill me."
"Consider that my present." Raven wiped her mouth, totally annoyed with this cheeriness. "Christmas has become just one big commercial reason to make people spend money. I don't know what the big deal is anymore."
"It's fun," Cyborg celebrated. "And that's why it's so Booyah awesome! Besides, what other holiday can we get all of our buds in here? Bumble Bee, Hot Spot, Aqualad, Kid Flash… by the way, I wonder what's taking those guys so long."
"Probably looking for other places to go and better things to do." Raven shrugged. "I think that's what I'm going to do."
"Huh, on a way lighter note," Beast Boy chuckled as he turned his attention to his alien friend. "You hang that mistletoe where I told ya to Star?"
"Yes I have friend!" She pointed to the doorway, the plant being hung on quite loosely by a string. "It is quite beautiful no?"
"Yep, and you remember where I told you to stand when 'you know who' comes in?"
"Indeed, directly under it when friend Robin arrives!" Starfire giggled.
"Exactly!" Beast Boy admired his own work. "And then Robin can give you his present."
Starfire was as excited as a 3 year old in a candy shop, Beast Boy just as amused. The other two 'cooler' cats in the room weren't feeling the same kind of optimism.
"Mistletoe. Nice Beast Boy." Raven sighed, going back to her Vampire book. "Reaaal nice."
"Thanks." The imp grinned, letting that toothy smile radiate to the heavens.
Cyborg rolled his sights towards the mischievous imp. "I really hope Robin doesn't kill you BB."
"Nah," Beast Boy sat back, laying his feet on the table. "By the end of tonight he'll be thanking-"
ALARM! WOOOOOOEOOOOOEOEOEOEOEOEEOO!
"Titans!" The one the only Robin busted through the door in a fury, passing Starfire, causing her to spin in circles like a pin. "Trouble!"
"Trouble?" Cyborg tossed his spatula down in anger. "NO! NO MAN! NOT ON CHRISTMAS EVE!"
"Friend Robin I-" Starfire pointed to the mistletoe only to get the ignore button.
"I'm sorry Starfire but we've got no time." Robin patted her on the shoulders.
"But of course," came the sad reply.
"What's the problem Robin?" Beast Boy asked.
"Someone tripped up our sensors." Robin said. "And from what I'm gathering the problem's near by."
"The problem? Nearby? Where?" a snug voice commented from behind.
The five Titans turned, gasping as if they had just had all their presents taken away from them in a blink of an eye. Hmmm, maybe it's because that's exactly what just happened.
"Whoa, I guess, I'm the problem then huh?" A Santa clad thief stood in the middle of the room, back turned as he hoisted a sack across his back. "Bummer…"
Blinks.
"What kind of Santa imposter is this?" Cyborg tossed his hands into the air.
"What's the matter guys?" The blackened suit villain behind the Santa wear sighed. "Was I not invited to the party? Dang, and all this time I just thought my invitation got lost in the mail or something."
With a turn of his head, everyone knew who that mask belonged to.
"Red X," Robin growled. The Titans were a bit too dumbfounded to make a move and X was going to cherish this moment for a lifetime.
"You know it's really nice seeing you all." X smirked from behind that skull mask, letting his Santa hat dangle loosely from his head. "Always great to see old pals on the holidays I always say."
"Sure," Raven commented as she teleported her way into the fray. "That is except when they're one of those real annoying 'pals'. And what do you know? You're one of them."
"Great Christmas attitude there gorgeous," X chuckled. "Don't let that Holiday cheer spread out too thin."
"…"
"Man! Tell me that is not our presents in that bag of yours!" Cyborg threatened, almost if X had real hostages in his grasps.
"No!" BB whined. "Say it ain't so!"
"Oh, you're talking about these little boxes I found under your tree?" X scratched his chin as he dangled the sack in front of them. "Heh, oh I dunno. I've stolen so many of these things tonight it's hard to remember. By the way thanks for throwing this Titan get-together bash. You know all those party guests you invited?"
"N-no you didn't." Beast Boy growled, knowing what had happened. "That's why they're so late!"
"I emptied their little nest eggs too." Red X bragged, "That Bumble Bee must have bought you something expensive their tin-can. It was pretty heavy."
"Oh you little-"
"Eek! You will unhand our presents you… you… you… fiend!" Starfire threatened so cutely.
"Huh, so you all want your presents back?" X mused as he suddenly sent a glowing x to the middle of the room. "Well come and get it. I ain't leaving town until my job's done. If you all want me I'll be spreading the Christmas spirit around. Who says this has to be only a season of giving anyway?"
The Titans braced for impact only to see a huge smoke screen go up that was as thick as a blanket. The coughs and watery eyes slowly died out, soon their spirits as well as X had just made off with their goods. It was obvious that he was playing the spoiler tonight.
A card lay in the middle of the room. It read:
Merry X-mas!
"Dude! That just did not happen!" Beast Boy scowled, jumping up and down with a broken mood. "Our presents! They're all gone! Ya can't have Christmas without presents!"
"X's running a crime spree tonight." Cyborg sighed, being as depressed as a regular old Scrooge. "Why did it have to be tonight?"
"Always wanting to put on a show," Raven commented. "He just wants our attention."
Robin clenched his fist as he stared out the Titan Tower window, watching a red and black vehicle shoot through the ocean water. The presents weren't a big deal. But he and X had some issues to resolve. It was working time.
"So he wants attention," Robin turned. "Then we're going to give him way more than he'd ever want. TITANS GO!"
Operation save Christmas has now begun!
- X-mas -
Act II – See-More the One Eyed Villain! Has a Really Shiny Eye!
(HIVE Five Base)
Hot sugary cookies. Singing choirs. Lights galore. Large fragrant trees decorated to look like the Heavens or more. This, my friends, is what Christmas was about. And these kinds of things normally would draw in the warm hearted folks. You know! The ones that were in the Christmas cheery mood! But hey, who says they get to have all the fun?
Heck no dude! It's H.I.V.E. five time son!
"Hey ya'll! Check out our Christmas tree! Hah!" A group of Billy Numberous clones pointed to the dark Goth villain of the team, who in turn was sitting with hot coco not looking amused. The hick of a thief had forced his darker teammate into a flurry of Christmas decorations, a bright star hat rounding out the costume.
"Now there's that Christmas Spirit Wicked!"
"…"
"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeweeee!" One of the clones grabbed a few candy canes from a large box they stole from a group of perky civilians. "God damn I love Christmas! Don't you Billy?"
"Hell yeah Billy," A clone spouted from the multiplying meta-human, both of them adorned in Grinch t-shirts. "Know what the best part of Christmas is?"
"What Billy?"
"The more of us there is." About another hundred of clones of himself appeared. "The more gifts we get!"
"Huh, why receive when you can just take it?" Mammoth muttered while slobbering. "By the way those canes look good." A snatch later, and our human trash-disposer was scarfing those canes down in a flash.
"HEY!"
BURP!
"Pit sniffin' Jackpot!" Gizmo smirked in his evil way from across the room, finding the nice chunk of gift-wrapped packages left by many of his H.I.V.E. mates, obviously being stolen of course. "Man you see how much gifts we got this year? Way better than last year's crud."
"Oh heck yea man, I SEE it all." See-more smirked, looking with his X-ray through the boxes for his own little sneak peak.
"To Jinx…" Gizmo stared, blinking at a red and green box. "Huh, I wonder what this is," The boy genius shook the present against his ear. See-more was already on that apparently, his eye scoping through that box.
The sight of pink lingerie made that one eye bulge an eyesore.
"Uh Gizmo,"
"What?"
"I think… you should put that down."
"W-why?" Gizmo said annoyingly as he continued to shake.
"That's woman's underwear."
Super sweatdrop!
"GAH!" Gizmo dropped the box, turning and scooting his way to other gifts. See-more chuckled, slowly sneaking over to that present as his mates were occupied.
"From K.F.," See-more began scratching his chin. "N-nah… couldn't be…"
"Ahem," A sultry female voice rang into See-More's ear, the Cyclops soon finding a not so amused Jinx staring at him. Gulps…
"Can you put down MY present please?" The pink horn-haired sorceress gave a pissed off groan. See-more couldn't even get a word out really, Jinx yanking the box away from him with fervor.
"Now go x-ray your own presents!"
"Yikes…" See-more zipped off, not wanting to get on his teammate's bad side. Oh yea people. This was FAR from Jinx's bad side.
Jinx eyed her teammate as he split, smirking at the present as he was gone. The Fastest Kid in the World gave this to her. And she was going to be zipping around herself once she saw what it was. That is… if she would get the chance.
"H-hey!" Jinx soon found her present being snatched away from her as quickly as she did it to See-more. An instant later and that pink cat glare turned bright, anger clouding her thoughts.
"Nice seeing you again too pinky," X chuckled as he was clinging onto the ceiling above.
"You," Jinx scowled, this turn-coat thief glaring snugly down upon her. "And what the hell do you call yourself doing?"
"Stealing your gifts," X's eyes went screwy. "You H.I.V.E. kids really aren't as bright as advertised are you?"
The whole room of villains suddenly turned to their present reserves, the mountain of gifts being cleaned out quite handedly by the world's greatest thief. Being thieves themselves, this was impressive. But admiring isn't the game kids. Being ticked off is!
"Aw, no presents for the villains." X mocked them. "Santa and his Naughty and Nice list… what a joke eh?"
"Why you big jerk!" Jinx growled, reactively sending a large mass of hex energy. As the pink aura created a massive hole in the ceiling X was already next to Jinx, staring face to face as wall crumbled down.
"What's the matter kid?" X held the present in her face. "You can steal some but ya can't give some?"
"Hah! Sorry bad boy." Jinx's swagger was far from gone, as her teammates surrounded X, a massive amount of Billys being the majority. "But you're not going anywhere with our stuff."
"Yea, give us back our gifts cludge bumper." Gizmo had the thief on laser snipe mode. "Or you'll be drinking your eggnog out of a hole in your throat."
"Yea brotha," The Billys all yelled in unison. "Hand it back or this is going to be a Hoe-down beat down! Wheeeewee!"
"Oh come on," X looked around nonchalantly. "These aren't your presents anymore. Finders keepers…"
"Losers weepers," Jinx finished for him. "And after we're done with you you're going to be crying a river."
"Hehe, is that right?" Red X smirked.
"That's right." Jinx mocked him. "And don't even try that disappearing act. I can shut down that suit before you even get a chance to."
"Oh noes!" X put a hand on his Santa hat wearing head. "Looks like you all got me. But only to give you a fair warning cutie… if you toss even one of those hex spells at me? Then I'll have to tell you exactly what's in this box of yours."
"Uh, s-so what?" Jinx skewed. "Big flippin' deal. I-"
"Gah!" See-More gasped in interruption, shaking his head wildly. "Jinx! Don't do it!"
"What? What can be in the box that's so bad?"
See-more sighed, walking over and taking Jinx's ear to a journey to Whisper Land. As the words became clearer, Jinx became more worried, soon her face as red as a cherry. Her hands were now tied with steel chains.
"Okay! Okay! Okay!" Jinx shook her head, pointing to her teammates. "No one touch him!"
"…" The rest of her teammates just looked at one another, trying to blink away their clueless ness.
"Good choice Jinx." Red X smirked, suddenly pressing his fingers to his belt. "I always took you for the smartest one of this bunch. I don't know how much that's saying but… take it as you will."
"Ugh, just get out of here!"
"Yes ma'am." X was about to pull his vanishing trick, only to smirk and scratch his chin. "By the way, how could that Flash kid afford Victoria Secret? And since when did they carry lingerie for little-"
FIREY EYES!
"YOU!"
"Merry X-mas," X laughed it up as he phased out of the building, leaving a huffing and puffing Jinx along side her dumbfounded teammates.
"Uh," Mammoth grumbled. "Victoria's Secret?"
"Oh shut up," Jinx cut his question to shreds. "H.I.V.E. Five… we're going out to get some revenge."
"Alright." Billy Numberous chuckled. "Some last minute Christmas stealing coming up, yeehaw!"
It was official. The villains had just been out-villain'd! But they definitely weren't going out with a fight.
- X-mas –
Act III – Hot Spot Roasting on an Open Fire.
(Downtown Jump City)
Okay, so the Brother Hood of Evil had been defeated for about a couple of months now. (Thank God.) And all was going a bit to well across the American boarder for the heroes of the world. Now that the Titans were far more than just five teens in Jump City, it had become a meta-teen trend that was popping up around the U.S. like Pokemon did a few years back.
So with all this freedom of a relatively peaceful time, of course our Titans that were not from the west coast were going to accept the invitations from the originals in Jump City. And after all of that, here they were, expecting a night of good laughs, food, and fun. But what they got was a visit from a thief who apparently just loved to ruin a good time.
But for eight Titans this was payback time.
"Yo Speedy," Bumble Bee of Titans East said through her intercom. "Any sign of our thief?"
"Nada," The bow and arrow equipped hero replied. "Even Mas and Menos can't even get a sighting. They're exhausted. Flash is on patrol now."
"Well sorry to hear about M and M." Bumble Bee sighed. "We're not having much luck on this side either."
"Don't be sorry. I'm kind of glad they're beat" Speedy said, glaring at the two twins snoring inside the passenger pod of his cycle. "They've been singing Feliz Navidad for the past hour or so."
"Oh yeah," Kid Flash suddenly chimed into the conversation. "I think I was beginning to crave Christmas burritos."
"Hehe, ugh, just keep an eye out you guys." Bumble Bee supported. "We can't show up to the Titans place without our presents!"
"Gotcha."
OFF!
"Ugh this is so pointless." The blazing inferno known as Hot Spot flared from behind.
"What's pointless?" Aqualad asked. "The fact that we lost our presents to some masked weirdo?"
"No," Hot Spot stared at one of those Holiday Snacking boxes. "Seriously, who the heck would want cheese and sausage for damn Christmas?"
A heart-eyed Wildebeest was suddenly found gawking at the box of hi-quality luncheon foods, the other three heroes sweatdropping.
"Ugh," Hot Spot just crossed his arms. "Never mind this whole thing is pointless. We've been searching for an hour now."
"Hot Spot has a point." Aqualad said. "Red X could be anywhere. And we have been searching pretty long now."
"Oh come on you guys!" Bumble Bee scowled. "Stop babying around. We need those gifts. That's what Christmas is all about!"
"Huh, I thought Christmas was about those corny Holiday movies and stuff." Aqualad shrugged.
"Yea! Let's just crash into the Titans place. Grab some coco and watch A Christmas story." Hot Spot hugged himself. "I hate cold weather."
"Ugh, whatever." Bumble Bee grumbled. "If you three want to go back with your pride stuffed down your throat then go! I'm searching for Red X."
The males of the group just blinked, Wildebeest making a funny confused sound as they just sighed, trudging alongside their female leader reluctantly. Yes, on a night of miracles these heroes weren't catching any break. But that was soon to change.
VROOOM! SCREEECH!
The four teenage metahumans stared down the car that had just skidded in front of them, a black sports car decked out in Christmas gear. Red lights, a giant X decal on the hood. Oh yea, someone had a ride that would make any hot-rod junkie squirm.
"Hey!" The window suddenly rolled down, X blasting out a heavy metal version of 'Jingle Bell Rock'. "Didn't I see you guys earlier? Hah! What a small world."
"Dude," Hot Spot's aura of flames shot up a notch. "It was a mistake showing your face again. Thanks for doing so. I was hoping I wasn't freezing my ass off for nothing!"
"Hand us back the gifts kid." Bumble Bee commanded, pulling out the stingy blasters. "I don't want to put a scratch in that nice car of yours."
"Car?" Red X quirked his neck. "Babe, this is way more then just any car. Let's just say I went Christmas 'shopping' for the most awesome ride. And after stealing all I needed, I've built the ultimate mode of transportation in the world."
"I got to admit." Aqualad blinked. "That is one sweet ride."
"Oh cut the crap!" Hot Spot yelled. "I want a Christmas party and I want it now!"
"Huh," X sighed. "Shouldn't you be making like an ornament and be lighting up a tree somewhere?"
"Whoa funny guy," Hot Spot's hand suddenly ignited. "Let's see how funny you are when I make you like toast and fry you to a crisp!"
A fireball suddenly lit up the entire block, Red X's car already taking off in a blaze. Hot Spot scowled as he suddenly used his hands, launching himself with rocket propulsion.
"Get back here!"
"Let's go!" Bumble Bee commanded, the rest giving chase.
Hot Spot easily caught up to the car airborne, smirking as he suddenly landed on the hood. X sighed as he saw the flame controlling metahuman. A sword formed from embers later and X knew he had to do something.
"Someone here is obviously a little ticked off." The X-car suddenly stopped, Hot Spot flipping to a stop, ready to blast X to the moon. Suddenly a few X-stars soared out our flamed hero, Hot Spot dodging them quite easily, his hand gathering heat energy.
"Someone here's a bad shot."
"Hehe," X rolled his head out of the window, "Who said I missed?"
The sound of a leakage of some sort was all Hot Spot heard. A turn and a pathetic sigh, and he saw that the two shurikens were lodged into a fire hydrant.
"Word of advice fire head," X drove next to him. "Chill out."
"YYYAAAAAAAAARGH!" An explosion of H2O quickly incapacitated Hot Spot, the kid scowling as his fire aura died out.
"Nice job there." Hot Spot heard Aqualad comment, as the water controller stopped the hydrant. "You really showed him."
A hesitant glare from a drenched Hot Spot and the finger was all our favorite aquatic natured teen received.
"Having the same problems?"
Wildebeest and Bumble Bee caught up, just to hear that voice, an angry as can be Cyborg and the rest of the Titans walking to them.
"Y-yea," Bumble Bee mumbled. "One big problem…"
- X-mas -
Act IV – Oh Christmas Tree! I mean… Oh Slade Wilson! How Scary Are Your Glances!
(Scary Underground Base)
Clink.
Clink.
Clink.
A base full of clockwork and gears is never a place where you'd expect Christmas spirit to seep through. And duh! Obviously there wouldn't be any here. This environment was as cold as the ice of the artic. The man who created this place was only colder.
Or so said mainstream thought.
"So the Brotherhood of Evil has finally been defeated." A female voice said, accompanied by a dark video feed on the large screen, distorting from time to time.
"Of course, it was only a matter of time my dear." Slade reassured, that one dark eye not even blinking.
"So it appears." The robed woman answered indifferently. "Putting my trust in you has been a bit difficult."
"And it is the same for me. But that is irrelevant." Slade walked over to his computer, dialing up a few of his blueprints for his most devious plan yet. "Follow me and victory shall be ours."
"Oh Mr. Wilson," Adeline Kane laughed. "I've trusted you before in matrimony. And look at where that has gotten you."
"Indeed. But I am still alive." Slade replied snugly. "And if worse comes to worse. I'll have another eye for you to take."
Adeline just sighed, shaking her head at her former husband. "Just make sure all goes well Mr. Wilson. I have business to attend to with the family. Jericho and Grant are eager for your visit."
"And that will come in due time Ms. Kane." Slade prepared to cut the feed.
"And why… not tonight again?"
Gulp.
"I… uh," Slade paused, trying to think of an excuse. "Am busy…"
There's an original one for ya.
"Oh of course," Adeline sighed almost depressingly. "Then I shall see you soon… oh… and Slade?"
"Yes?"
"Merry Christmas."
(Static…)
"Merry Christmas."
Clink.
Clink.
Clink.
"Oh come on Slade!"
"Huh?" Slade turned to see our thief of the night with disappointed arms cross.
"Slade, Slade, Slade." X shook his head. "She obviously is crazy about you. What the heck was up with that 'I don't care bit'?"
Slade just stared in annoyance at his temporary accomplice. "What are you doing here? Weren't you-"
"Yea yea old man, I just needed some fuel." Red X had a capsule of synovium in his hand. Slade just nodded.
"Your need to toy with those Titans is worse than mine." Slade commented, turning to walk off.
"Hey, it's fun. But this is Christmas after all." X said. "Of course I want to make it a little exciting for them. Besides Slade, I think someone here needs some Christmas spirit."
"Just leave," Slade simply replied.
"Oh stop it Scrooge. You need to lighten up."
"Perhaps you didn't hear me." Slade just slowly turned his head. "Leave."
"Oh! I know what you need." X suddenly reached into that bottomless bag. "You need some presents."
"…"
"Let's see…" X pulled out a few things. "Hah! There we go!" The boy in black darted over to Slade giving him all that he had retrieved.
A dumbfounded Slade suddenly found a red and green Christmas bonnet, decorated with reindeers and sleighs forced upon his head. And a large can of metal polish in his hand. A bulging vein behind that gold and black mask soon followed.
"That suit of yours needs the polish." X sighed, walking out. "It's getting dull in more ways than one."
"…"
"Sitting all alone in this dump for Christmas. Jeez old man, go to your family." X suggested calmly. "Headmistress was eyeing you all over." The boy skewed at the thought of someone even being remotely attracted to this walking metal man.
An indifferent wave later, a simple press of a button was prepared to send him off. "Anyway, back to my work. Merry X-mas 'boss'. And thanks for the synothium. Catch you on the flipside."
TELEPORT!
Clink.
Clink.
Clink.
"… The fool," After a few moments of letting the steam pass by Slade growled, tossing his bonnet and polish to the side in a clanking mess. Alone and in silence Slade stared at his clockwork of a lair, silently thinking. Was it really worth it sitting here? Christmas isn't for evil powerhouses is it? Such a pathetic and pointless holiday…
Clink.
Clink.
Clink.
"… Maybe a visit to the H.I.V.E. isn't such a bad idea." Slade began to walk off with a smirk.
This was only for business reasons of course.
(Cough)
What? It is!
(Mega Cough)
Whatever…
- X-mas –
Act V – On the 1st Day of Christmas, X's thieving skills got for free! A 'Raven' and a Ferrari!
(30 Minutes Later)
On this night X had learned the hard way that while stirring up trouble was quite a rush, it brought a lot of excess baggage with it. If one were to mess with as many super powered teenagers as he did today, that person better be ready to handle the heat.
And as the triple threat speedy demons that had been chasing him were adhered against the wall with his special adhesives he was definitely ready.
"Senor X! Tu tienes muy problemas!" The pair of Mas Y Menos yelled as they were separated. Another shot of gel to their mouths and their barrage of Spanish was disabled.
"What the Telemundo brothers mean to say is," Flash puffed, apparently gassed from the chase. "What is your problem? Why are you ruining such a nice Holiday man?"
"Ruining?" X shook his head. "No, no, no. I'm not ruining anything."
"Are you gonna say the same thing to all the heroes and villains your ripped off tonight?"
"I'm just putting the spirit back in this washed up Holiday bro."
"Right," Flash rolled his eyes, "And what's next? On Easter you'll steal everyone's eggs and egg some cars?"
"Heh, sounds fun." X commented, walking off laughing. "The gel will disappear in 10 minutes. You'll be fine."
"Maybe they will." Cyborg's voice sounded off from behind. "But you won't be if you don't give us back our presents!"
"Whoa. The Real Titans," X commented, seeing the group with not so amused looks. "I thought you gave up."
"Hand over the gifts X." Robin commanded.
"Yea dude, you're not getting away this time." Beast Boy added.
"Unhand our belongings please." Starfire pleaded. "We do not wish to fight on this wondrous occasion of Christmas."
X was now plopped down against the edge, swinging his feet in boredom. He looked to Raven.
"And aren't you going to say something?"
"Not really," Raven muttered. "Not a big Christmas person."
"That's a surprise." X chuckled, turning with a sigh. "This is so pathetic. You guys really want these presents back that bad? Then come and get me."
"If that's what it takes. This is going to be ain't no thing but a chicken wing!" Cyborg turned his arm into sonic mode. "Booyah!"
A beam narrowly missed X, Robin giving the 'Titans Go!" the chase dispersing quite quickly. X began to dash frantically, dodging Cyborg's blasts while Starfire tried to cut his ways off with a burst of starbolts. A flip from an awkward position off a window sill, and an even more awkward position on the landing made Beast Boy whiff as a gorilla.
X felt Cyborg trying to pick him off, suddenly whizzing a shuriken towards the half-droid. "WHOA!" Cy dodged it narrowly, the momentum forcing him to trip and land 90 feet below into a dumpster.
"Remember kids." X turned to Beast Boy and Starfire. "Always recycle."
"Give us back our stuff you goon!" BB dived as a raptor only to be driven into the ground with an axe kick to the neck. Starfire was soon to follow up, ramming X from behind and knocking his Santa cap off.
"Jeez hun," X grabbed the hat in mid-air while the two were in a downward spiral to the ground. "You pack a wallop don't you?"
"Please X, do not keep up this. Give us back our presents and I shall leave you be."
"As tempting as that sounds sweetheart." A simple flick of his wrist, and Starfire was beginning to be coiled in that red gel. "This is way too much fun."
As the two fell X landed perfectly on his feet, Starfire in his arms, wrapped like a little gift. "Robin would love to be in this position wouldn't he?"
"Let me go!" Starfire squirmed.
Moments later Robin ran into the alleyway, "Starfire!"
"Jingle Bells! Batman smells! Robin laid an egg! The Batmobile lost it's wheel and the Joker ran away!" X began to hum, only to turn. "Oh hey bird boy! You're missing all the fun kid. Wanna sing to your girlfriend next?"
"X!"
The thief chuckled, tossing a shuriken at Robin at blazing speeds, forcing an evasion, soon using that distraction to make off again.
"Starfire," Robin put his priorities ahead, running over, blinking as he saw a note pasted to a bound Starfire's back.
'Merry Christmas Robin.'
"Am I now your gift?" Starfire sighed.
A blushing Robin could only, cut his friend out of the trap as quick as possible.
"Aw how cute." Red X commented as he was now backup top.
Alright, they're all on my tail. Just a little more and I got those Titans where I want them.
Yes, all was going well for our thief as he dashed from rooftop to rooftop. That is until…
WHAM!
"Agh!" X suddenly slammed into the wall, falling on his face. The crimson and black clad thief slowly peered up to see white eyes behind a blue hood. Suddenly the belt that powered his suit began to fluctuate, the energy being sapped to null.
"This game has gone on enough." Raven said. "Hand over my friends' presents."
"Damn girl." X held his head, suddenly getting up and walking back slowly. "You hit just as hard as Starfire…"
"I'm not kidding." Raven scowled. "I'm already in enough of a bad mood and now your little goose chase has made it worse."
"Sorry for the inconvenience."
"Oh spare me this." Raven flared. "I don't need your lame cocky sarcastic routine. You're not sorry and stop stalling."
"Hehe, you act like you know what I'm about."
"No. You're just like any other villain we've thrown in jail." Raven crossed her arms. "There isn't much to know."
"You couldn't be more than wrong." Red X scowled. "As noble as you heroes are you have no idea what most of 'baddies' are about."
"I don't need a sob story." Raven extended her hand. "Now hand over the gifts."
X knew he was cornered and Raven wasn't a hero to tip toe around. He just nodded, walking to her with the sack in hand. Our neighborhood Azarian sorceress was about to grab it, to end the madness, but Red X had other plans.
"Sorry, I'm too close." X suddenly made a dart to the edge of the building leaping off.
"Why do they always run?" Raven muttered to herself, suddenly phasing down to the ground, waiting as the thief landed swiftly.
"Heh, and they say Kid Flash is fast." X commented.
"Hand it over…"
"But why? We're already here." Suddenly X just opened the door behind him, Raven skewing as the thief walked inside.
"Hey, where are-"
"Mr. X!" Suddenly a small little girl ran to him from inside. "You came back!"
"Sure did little missy." X suddenly being latched around the neck by this young toddler. Raven was at a total loss of words, blinking as she stared.
"W-what's going on?"
"Oh my gosh!" The girl screamed. "Y-you made your promise Mr. X!"
"Hehe. Always do."
"You're Raven!" The girl celebrated, clapping her hands. "My Christmas wish was to meet you! I admire you oh so much!"
"I… I am flattered." Raven blinked again, turning to X who was as snug as ever.
"I know… I know." X put the girl down so she could latch onto Raven's waist. "I surprise myself sometimes."
"What's going on?" Raven patted the girl's head as she still stared at X astonished.
X chuckled. "I better tell you before the rest of those Titans get a hold of me huh?"
"That'd be smart… yeah…"
- X-mas –
Act VI – Joy to the World! X's Plan is Done! Let all Receive Their Gifts!
(Jump City Orphanage Center)
"So you're telling me all this was just to get us Titans here?" Raven rolled her eyes, as kids were all over her, poking and making sure she was real.
"Nothing ever gets past you Raven." X commented, finishing up a few decorations on the tree.
"Ms. Raven can you please lift up the tables with your mind again?" A kid yelled out.
"In… a bit…" Raven sighed. She sat in thought. "You know… you could've just asked us to show up."
"Yea, like you 'good guys' would ever believe me." X shrugged. "Besides, asking? Where's the fun in that?"
The thief went over to Raven, sitting next to her at the table where a donated feast was ready to eat.
"I still find this hard to believe." Raven said, glaring at the decorated center. They were in a building that hosted this annual Christmas feast where all orphaned kids could get together.
"Gifts, presents, objects," X rolled his eyes. "People put so much value into those things it's just mind boggling isn't?"
"For a person who steals so much those things that's pretty rich," Raven commented.
"I steal for the rush toots." X corrected. "Keeping those things for personal gain is just a plus. I usually never keep the stuff I steal. Besides this suit of course, not like Robbie was using it anyway."
"So you're a thief with morals." Raven nodded. "Now I've seen it all."
"Morals? Nah, I just don't abide by the rules set by everyone else. Bar from murder, I say anything is fair game."
"Good principles."
"Heh, I'd think a girl like you would understand. Even a guy like Slade, you assume why he does the things he does. Writing him off as some psychopath,"
"If the description fits," Raven muttered, levitating something's to the delight of the kids. "But you're right about bringing us here. These kids… they have no real family. And-"
"Just like you Titans, you have only each other." X finished. "Christmas is about coming together and being close. Teach these kids how it's done."
Raven couldn't help it. She thought about her friends.
"They were all wrapped up in celebrating our own Christmas, and doing all that present stuff. And I was just happy they were happy." Raven thought. "I guess, there's a lot more to this Holiday then… food and gifts."
"Right on girl."
"…" Raven blinked.
"What?" X blinked back.
"Didn't think you would be a person who could think like that… I'm impressed."
"Like I said, you don't know me." X smirked. "Okay, the gifts are all set up under the tree. Once this night is over I'm not playing the nice guy anymore. So it'll be back to normal."
"Uh…"
"Have a ball kiddo."
"Wait," Raven got up, putting the kids aside. "Where are you going?"
"Things to do, places to be." X said, walking off.
"You're not staying?"
"I think you Titans got this covered." X winked, "Seeya around."
"I…" Raven was stopped, the skull faced teen no longer seen. The door suddenly slammed open, the Titans from around the globe showing up with angry faces, only turning to ones of surprise.
"Uh Raven," Robin blinked. "Where's X?"
"Y-yea." BB turned looking at the decked room. "Where are we?"
"Wait, do I smell food?" Cyborg shoved them out of the way, seeing a bunch of kids at the table. The children were all star struck seeing all Titans there. And when the Titans East and honorary Titans showed up? These kids were in complete bliss.
"Uh, am I missing something here?" Hot Spot suddenly found a kid poking him.
"Mr. you look cool!"
"…"
"I guess have a lot of explaining to do." Raven said, smiling a bit for the first time tonight. "We're having Christmas here."
Suddenly the door busted open again.
"Where's that crud flippin'-" Gizmo stopped, looking around as the HIVE Five was now looking at a room full of Titans and cutesy kids. "X…"
"Uh, I guess we got the wrong radio feed." Jinx blinked.
"Jinx!" Kid Flash suddenly chimed in from behind the group. "You get my present?"
"…"
The HIVE began to break out in chuckles only to be silenced with that girl's scary glare. A few kids suddenly ran up to the HIVE five poking them out of curiosity.
"You have one eye!" A kid yelled. "Too cool!"
"R-really?" See-more smirked. "Alright, this kid's got good taste!"
The Titans and HIVE members gave each other looks. They really didn't want to fight tonight and as the HIVE saw their presents under the tree it was obvious that the aggression was going to stop. The Christmas spirit was now filling the room. Good guy, Bad Guy, In-betweener, it didn't really matter.
Christmas... really isn't so bad. Raven nodded, seeing her teammates having a ball with these little admiring tikes.
- X-mas –
Act VII – We Wish You a Merry X-mas! We Wish you a X-Mas! We Wish you a Merry X-mas! And a Happy New Stolen Object!
(Up up and Away!)
After Raven explained what was up it was really a sight to see. Kid Flash and Cyborg both trying to impress Jinx; Robin sharing a hot coco with Starfire; Billy Numberous seemingly being outnumbered by a bunch of sugar cookied kids; BB, Hotspot, and Aqualad trading verbal bashings with See-more, Mammoth, and Gizmo. It really was all working out too well.
"Well my good work is about done for the next year." X said, turning only to bump into a cross armed Raven. "Huh, seriously can you stop doing that?"
"If I feel like it," Raven said, rolling her eyes away, apparently this appearance being one of awkwardness. "Why don't you come down with us? I mean we have the HIVE members in there. Another 'bad guy' wouldn't hurt."
"Y-yea, I'm surprised a war hasn't started yet." X chuckled. "And its okay, I really don't feel like being chased around anymore."
"X," Raven whispered. "What you did for these kids was really… nice."
"A compliment from the Goth queen?" X laughed. "Too awesome."
"Ugh, this is hard enough as it is okay?" Raven pointed to the shelter. "Come on, join us. We've got plenty of-"
"I appreciate the offer, but it's just not my style." Red X shook his head. "Go and hang with your friends. Consider this a gift… before we go back to being enemies again."
"Right." Raven looked out at him. "Tell me… why did you do this?"
"I don't know." X smiled at the mystery. "It could be guilt. It could be my need to give. Here's a little advice. Sometimes asking questions isn't the best way to an answer. Just take it for what it's worth Raven."
"Huh, you are a mystery indeed."
"I take pride in that thank you." X walked towards the door. "Oh but before I go. I gotta give you something. Can you come here for a sec?"
"W-why?" Raven blinked.
"Didn't we just go over this questioning thing? You want to know or not?"
Raven just huffed her way over to the doorway, her curiosity getting the best of her. X nodded, rubbing his hands together as he smiled behind his mask.
"Here's a present for ya." X suddenly tossed her hood off, putting his Santa hat on her head.
"Uh… what are you-"
"Look up."
Raven's eyes peered up and behold. A mistletoe…
"Oh no…" Before another word can be said X's mask was half off, their lips now smooched against one another. Raven's eyes were gaping wide, X dipping her slowly as the two were lip locked. Only after about five seconds later X backed off, Raven suddenly blinking twice, only to fall straight on her back in a instant faint.
"Merry Christmas to you too."
And with a blink of an eye, our thief that had taken and given Christmas was gone with the wind.
- X-mas –
So there ends our story of our Titans my friend. I know you were probably waiting just for the end. But Christmas is a time of giving and I appreciate the read. For what you have done is a wondrous deed!
I hope you had fun and your Holidays will be great. Can't forget about this story now, it's really too late. A corny rhyme here, and another corny rhyme there. I got a ton of these in the bag, oh yes, all beware! On behalf off all the Titans and HIVE members in this kooky tale. The spirit of cheer is something that will never ever fail.
So now I must say goodbye for there are presents under the tree. Merry Christmas to you all, but of course mostly for me!
- The End -