Quick author's note: this was written and first posted on AO3 in May of 2017. Before the 2nd season even started. Does it make any difference? No clue, haven't seen the 2nd season yet. I just wanted to share this short fic here too, since I made this account I might as well use it...

also a Warning for: mentions of Attempted Rape, Date Rape Drugs, and Terrible Evenings.

Enjoy.

"What do you want?"

"Amanda? Please help me, I need you, Oh God, it won't stop bleeding, please help, Amanda? Please..." She quickly sat up when she heard her brother's panicked up voice.

"Where are you? I'll be right there."

Less than five minutes later she and the Rowdy 3 arrived in the alley next to the bar Todd mentioned and Amanda almost thought they were too late. But then she heard it, quiet sobbing from the shadow of the wall. She ran up to Todd and knelt down.

"What happened? What's bleeding?" She looked dumbfounded when he just showed her his uninjured hands and forearms.

'Oh. Of course.' She didn't know if she should be glad or pissed off he was just having an attack, so she turned to her companions. "Could you do your thing now? Thanks."

Blue glow subsided and she helped Todd sit on the stone steps next to them. He was still pressing his hands against his chest and seemed pretty dazed.

"Are you okay?"

"It was- it was so real, I didn't realize, I'm sorry, I- I thought..." His words turned into a quiet mumbling and his body was trembling.

"Hey, it's alright." She watched him closely for a few more seconds. "Todd, are you high?" Amanda asked, suddenly concerned again. She's never seen him in this state before, even drunk and after an attack.

"I- I- I don't know..." Todd shook his head without looking at her.

"Right. You don't know." She looked up to her friends. "Will you give us a moment?"

"Are you sure?" Vogle propped his bat on the shoulder.

Amanda just glanced at her brother, tears still on his face and whole body shaking. "I'm pretty sure he's harmless. Relax."

Vogle shrugged. "If you say so."

Now that they were alone she finally got a good look at Todd, and oh man, he was a mess. His shirt was missing half the buttons, there were red smudges - lipstick? - all over his chin and right cheek, and despite the weather he wasn't wearing any jacket. Not to mention all the mud from rolling around on the ground. Amanda took off her own jacket and wrapped it her brother.

"A hook up gone wrong?" She joked, but when Todd violently shook his head she asked again in a gentler voice, "What happened?"

"I- I was just," he shrugged and gestured to the bar, "I was here, and this girl, she came up and said she- she knew me, from the band, from Mexican Funeral, and got me a drink and was flirting but... I- I didn't want to go with her, but she dragged me outside, and then I started bleeding, I mean I wasn't really bleeding but I thought, and told her but she just- she just left me here. A- and then I called you. I'm sorry I freaked you out." Todd finished his story in trembling voice and Amanda couldn't stop herself from hugging him tightly.

"Shhh, you're alright now, it's okay." She sighed. "Man, you should really be careful about accepting drinks from strangers. She got you good." Amanda looked at him again. "You had another attack today before that, didn't you?" She sighed yet again as Todd nodded in reply. "Thought so. These meds never mixed well with... other substances."

They sat there for a moment in an almost-silence, disrupting it were only the muffled music from the bar and noises of the Rowdy 3 breaking some thing around the corner.

"Why didn't you call Dirk or Farah?" Amanda finally asked.

"Farah's away and I- I don't know. It felt like I should call you." He looked at her face and then down on the ground again.

"I didn't want Dirk to think I..." he cut off and shook his head.

"Isn't he your best friend? I doubt he'd-" She started and got interrupted.

"I think I like him," Todd confessed.

"You mean you have a crush on him?" A nod. "Oh. Okay. That's new. Was that why you were drinking here alone?" A shrug this time. "You are such a loser."

"I know."

"Why not just tell him?"

"It's not that simple. What- what if he doesn't... I don't want to make things weird."

"What if he does? You guys already are weirdos. And you're his best friend, he won't abandon you that easily." Amanda cursed herself silently for letting herself get involved in this conversation. 'What are we, in high-school?'

"Let's just get you home for now, okay?"

She helped him up and - after he almost immediately fell down again - she put his arm over her shoulder and practically carried him to the van and let him slide onto the floor there.

"What's up with him?" Martin asked when he and the others joined her in the car.

"He's being a real pain in the ass, but for once it's not his fault. Well, mostly not his fault. I just gotta call Dirk and we'll drop him off at home, alright?"

"Whatever you need," replied Martin starting up the car.

"Todd? Todd, wake up, Dirk is here." Amanda shook her brother lightly and got him to open his eyes.

"Dirk?"

"Yes, he's here, go say hello." She moved aside to let Dirk sit down next to Todd.

"Hi Todd, how are you feeling?" Dirk asked carefully. He was definitely not prepared for Todd throwing himself at him and tightly hugging his neck.

"Dirk! I missed you, I- I'm sorry. I just..." He looked at him and before Dirk had time to react or say something he pressed their lips together.

It was sloppy and lasted just a second. It was barely a kiss. It still left Dirk's mind blank and his body as if turned to stone, he almost didn't notice Todd sliding back on the van's floor.

"I'm so tired..." Todd mumbled before closing his eyes.

"Boys, little help here?" Amanda yelled and Gripps, Cross, and Vogle steered Dirk out of the way, grabbed Todd like an unconscious sack of potatoes and carried him into the building.

"What exactly happened just now?" Dirk choked out, blushing like mad and avoiding Amanda's amused stare.

"Some girl roofied him and it got him pretty messed up, but he should be alright."

"Oh." He tried not to sound disappointed. "So that wasn't... That wasn't real?"

"The kiss? No, I believe it was genuine. How does that make you feel, Dirk Gently?" She looked him in the eyes.

Dirk didn't dare to break eye contact. Or lie.

"I'm- I'm glad."

Amanda's lips smiled, but her eyes were still drilling holes into his skull. "Good. And I hope you do realize that if you hurt him I WILL destroy you?"

"And she can do that all on her own!" Martin yelled from the driver's seat, startling the soul out of Dirk.

Amanda laughed and turned back to Dirk. "I'm being serious. He may be a shitty brother, but he's my shitty brother. I can't just let anyone break his heart. So? What's your answer?"

"Ye- Yes, yes. Understood, ma'am, yes sir."

She laughed again at his flustered reply. "You have my blessing then. Now, what are you waiting for? Go, take care of him for me. He's had a crappy night, offer some comfort, do you job!" Not waiting for his reaction she and the rest of the Rowdy 3 jumped into the van, waved goodbye, and sped off into the night.

Dirk stood just there for a few long seconds, listening to his own heartbeat, not even daring to blink, then suddenly snapped back into reality and rushed through the door and up the stairs like being chased by a pack of radioactive wolves.

Todd hasn't even fully woken up yet and he already regretted it deeply. Or maybe he wasn't conscious at all, maybe he was dead and in hell, finally where he deserved to be. He carefully opened his eyes and was almost disappointed to find he was in fact, still on Earth, in his own bedroom. Not in a hurry to leave his bed, he started making a mental list of things he needed. A shower. Water. Painkillers. A couple more hours of sleep. A cup of coffee later. Remember what in the sweet mother of fuck happened to cause him this level of suffering. Maybe two more cups of coffee for good measure.
A sound of footsteps interrupted his thoughts.

"Good morning Todd! How are you feeling?" Dirk asked and Todd just groaned at his cheerful tone.

"Bad. Awful. Terrible. Like I died in some tragic and painful way, but my soul refused to leave my decaying corpse."

"Will water and some Advil help?" Dirk waited for Todd to sit up, then handed him the pills and the glass.

Moments later the glass was back in his hands, empty.

"Still thirsty? Wait, I'll be right back."

One more glass of water and a moment of catching a breath later, Todd finally got to ask the most important question on his mind.

"Did you have anything to do with this?"

"Last night? Oh. No, it wasn't me, I just got you water. You don't remember anything at all?"

"I... I'm not sure... Maybe... But not really. Do you know what happened or not?"

"You'll have to ask Amanda for details, but from I understood you had an unpleasant experience with a spiked beverage, your sister rescued you and brought to me, and I found out some pretty interesting things."
Todd went white. "W- what kind of things?" Hundreds of scenarios were suddenly going through his head and none of them pleasant.

"Like this." Dirk smiled and kissed him.

Realization hit Todd like a brick wall falling from tenth floor of an abandoned hotel. 'Oh. So this part wasn't a dream,' was the only thought that appeared in his head. Until he remembered something else and momentarily freed himself from the kiss, falling back on the bed. Dirk looked at him like he was about to cry.

"Todd, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have, I-"

"Dirk, it's okay." Todd looked him in the eyes. "But can we finish this later? See, I really need to brush my teeth. And take a shower. I wasn't really kidding about feeling like a zombie."

Dirk was smiling at him now. "You're right, go. You still have mud on your face. I'll make you some coffee, It'll be ready when you finish."

Looking in the bathroom mirror Todd saw that Dirk was right - there was mud on his forehead. And all over his clothes. As well as few other kinds of stains he really didn't feel like inspecting. He looked like he had a really shitty night.

'But maybe,' he thought to himself, 'maybe today will be alright.'