A/N: This is a story that's been on my computer for a while. I only wrote two chapters of it and i'll eithe upload it later today or tomorrow. So tell me what you think and if you think I should contiue. I know it's only about 2,000 words but the chapters will get longer.
The Suicide Note
Hi there. It's your old pal Naruto. I, uh, I really don't know how to write one of these. Uh, to tell you the truth I really haven't written one of these before, well unless you count the love letters I wrote to Sakura a long time ago, but I never actually sent them to her. I was never able to build up enough courage to give them to her. It was kind of weird you know, writing about my undying love for her in a letter. It really wasn't my style, not to mention the fact that I would freak out if she ever found out about them. I used to wonder about what she would do if she actually read them, but I eventually moved on from her. Thinking about that today I realize how stupid it was.
P.S: Please don't tell Sakura that I wrote her love letters. I might have gotten over her, but I still don't want her to know.
Sorry about that, I got a little carried away there. Anyway back on a serious note. You've probably been wondering why I've decided to write to you instead of just going over to your place and telling you in person. Well you'll learn why at the end of this letter, but first I have a few things that I want to get off my chest.
Okay before I tell you this first thing I just want to say that I don't want this to come between our friendship, but I'd understand if you didn't want to talk to me anymore; or if you were just plain disgusted by it. Many people in the village might think the same thing.
Okay well you know where I said that I gotten over Sakura right? Well the reason for that is that I've found somebody new. Nothing wrong with that right? But the thing is I noticed that I was more attracted to, uh, more guys than I was to girls, a certain guy to be pacific. Are you grossed put yet? If you're not you will be after you find who it was.
It was Sasuke. Yep, good old Sasuke Uchiha. I know, I know I was just as shocked as you are, maybe even more.
I had a hard time believing it. I didn't want to convince myself that I could actually like that bastard. I tried everything from peeking in the ladies bath at the hot springs, looking at those dirty magazines at the store; I even tried using one of my shadow clones to use the Sexy Jutsu, anything to try and convince myself that I wasn't gay, but if I was I still didn't want to admit that I like Sasuke. But no matter what I did no matter how hard I tried I kept thinking about Sasuke in that way.
So that was the first thing I wanted to tell you. I hope you're not as grossed out as I was at first or anything like that. You're actually the first person in the village I've ever come out too. I tried to keep it a secret 'cause I was afraid of how everyone would react. Not even Sakura or Lady Tsunade knows.
The second thing I want to talk about is the real reason why Sasuke left. Everyone claims that it's because he wanted more power and would do whatever it took to get it, even if that meant going to that freak, Orochimaru. Well that is part of the reason, but what they don't know is that I'm the real reason for why he left the village.
As I already said, I had a crush on him and was trying to convince myself that I didn't like him. Well after a while I just gave up on that and just admitted that I liked him. Even though I finally accepted myself and the fact that I had a crush on Sasuke I wasn't going to tell him. I started to notice that I started blushing and stuttering whenever I was around him. Even when he turned to look at me, or should I say glare, I just couldn't help but turn to mush.
One day I finally had enough of secretly admiring him and told him that I loved him. So I guess you're actually the second person I told that I was gay. Anyway, that didn't go too well for me. He punched me hard in the stomach, called me a fag, and walked off. The next day I found out that he had left the village the night that I had told him.
When we went on the mission to go get him back it was just me and him at the Valley of the End. I begged him not to go, that everybody'll miss him, that he's throwing his life away, that the village needs him. But all he said was that he couldn't live in a village full of fags and then he tried to kill me. As you know I was in the hospital after our fight. I went into a great depression after that, but I put on a fake smile to show people that I was alright with everything that happened. Even up to this day I still feel a little depressed about Sasuke leaving.
Now on to the third thing. The villagers treat me like crap! No matter how much I trained how many times I've saved the village they still treat me like a monster. Everyday it's the same thing, they tell me that they want me dead, beat me up and say it's 'to teach me a lesson' or 'It'll be worse next time if I ever got out of hand' when I've done nothing wrong. I can't even go to the market and buy anything, because they either kick me out, they raise the prices so high that I can't afford it, or they give me things that already went bad. I don't even know why I try anymore. I use to think that if I worked hard and became Hokage the villagers would finally learn to accept me, but I doubt they would even let that happen.
I don't even know who to trust anymore. Some people act like they're my friend when in reality they actually want to get close to me so they could try and kill me. But not you. I know that I can trust you that's why i'm writing you this letter.
I remember this one time when a group of guys followed me to an empty street and jumped me. They pulled me into an alley and beat me up so badly that even the nine-tails couldn't heal me.
I had to limp to grandma Tsunade who patched up what h nine-tails couldn't. I had to beg her not to make such a big deal about it and to keep it a secreted.
The happy, not a care in the world Naruto you all know and probably love is just a poser. To tell you the truth I hate every last one of them. It would be the highlight of my day to see everyone in the village suffering the way I've been for all these years. They blame me for something I had nothing to do with at all, It's not my fault that I'm the Kyubi's vessel. I didn't even ask for this! No it's not my fault, it's the stupid fourth Hokage's fault for putting that damn fox inside me. But yet no one seems to know that. Every time they look at me they see a monster, a demon!
Two more confessions and we're done here. Okay I know this might sound crazy to you or like some sort of joke, but I'm serious. I wouldn't expect you to feel the same way towards me, but I really just have to let you know that…I like you; I mean LIKE you like you. I have for a long time now, if I remember correctly I liked you for over a year now. Yep that's right I have a crush on the big shot, loud mouth, heir of the Inuzuka clan, Kiba Inuzuka himself. This is one of the reasons why I didn't come and talk to you in person. I was afraid to see how you'd react to it. I wouldn't be surprised if you left the village too like Sasuke, I mean no one can love a demon right? Or at least that's what the villagers say, and nonetheless a gay one at that.
Lastly, this is my last goodbye. By that I mean I'm going to end everything today. All my pain and misery, all my sadness, it all ends today. I can't live in a place where no one cares about me. Where I work my ass off to help them and they still throw me away like trash. But I don't blame them. Everytime I look in a mirror I see the same thing they do; a hideously disgusting monster.
They all want me dead, every last one of them. So it all ends today. I'll give the villagers what they want. By the time you've gotten this letter it would have already been too late, so please don't try and save me. I'm really sorry for all the trouble I've caused you, but you won't have to worry about that anymore. I hope that you'll remember me as one of your friends, and not the monster people say I am. I hope you find that special someone that will make you feel happy and complete 'cause apparently I won't be able to find that special someone of my own.
Sincerely, Naruto Uzumaki