I am creating a series of episodes of ROTBTD based off the "FRIENDS" episodes I don't own Friends or ROTBTD
Rapunzel: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!
Once-ler: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him
Jack: So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Mavis: Wait, does he eat chalk? Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl oh!
Rapunzel: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.
Jack: Sounds like a date to me. Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realise I am totally naked.
All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.
Jack: Then I look down, and I realise there's a phone... there.
Once-ler: Instead of...?
Jack: That's right.
Once-ler: Never had that dream.
Mavis: Never
Jack: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. And it turns out it's my mother, which is very weird, because she never calls me!
Hiccup: *sad* Hi
Once-ler: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Rapunzel: Are you okay, sweetie?
Hiccup: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck...
Jack: Cookie?
Rapunzel: Carol moved her stuff out today. Let me get you some coffee Hiccup.
Mavis: Ooh! Oh!
Hiccup: No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay? I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.
Rapunzel: No you don't.
Hiccup: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
Once-ler: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Hiccup: No! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?
Jack: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... Did I say that out loud?
Once-ler: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is? Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Hiccup: I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just-I just wanna be married again!
Jack: And I just want a million dollars!
Rapunzel: Mérida?!
Mérida: Oh God Monica hi! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
Waitress: Can I get you some coffee?
Rapunzel: decaf. Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. This is everybody, this is Jack, and Mavis, and Once-ler, and you remember my brother Hiccup?
Mérida: Hi, sure!
Hiccup: Hi.
Rapunzel: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?
Mérida: Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- Sweet 'n' Lo?- I realised that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Young Macintosh! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Young Macintosh looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, he always looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'. So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
Rapunzel: Who wasn't invited to the wedding.
Mérida: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue...
Rapunzel: Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and she's really not happy about it.
Mérida: *on phone* Daddy, I just... I can't marry him! I'm sorry. I just don't love him. Well, it matters to me!
Jack: Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants.
Once-ler: I say push her down the stairs.
Mavis+Hiccup+Jack+Once-ler: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
Mérida: C'mon Daddy, listen to me! All of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Hiccup: You can see where he'd have trouble.
Mérida: Look Daddy, it's my life. Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.
Rapunzel: Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica...
Mérida: Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait! Wait, I said maybe!
Rapunzel: Just breathe, breathe.. that's it. Just try to think of nice calm things...
Mavis: Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens, ..bluebells and sleigh bells and something with mittens... La la la la...
Mérida: I'm all better now.
Mavis: I helped!
Rapunzel: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know? Independence. Taking control of your life.
Once-ler: And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.
Once-ler, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day!
Once-ler: What, like there's a rule or something?
Jack: Please don't do that again, it's a horrible sound.
Paul: It's, uh, it's Paul.
Rapunzel: Buzz him in!
Once-ler: Who's Paul?
Hiccup: Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?
Rapunzel: Maybe.
Once-ler: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
Hiccup: He finally asked you out?
Rapunzel: Yes!
Jack: Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment.
Rapunzel: Mer, wait, I can cancel...
Mérida: Please, no, go, that'd be fine!
Rapunzel: Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?
Hiccup: That'd be good...
Rapunzel: Really?
Hiccup: No, go on! It's Paul the Wine Guy!
Rapunzel: Hi, come in! Paul, this is..
All: Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey!
Jack: I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?
Rapunzel: Two seconds.
Mavis: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.
Hiccup: So Mérida, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?
Mérida: Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so nothing!
Hiccup: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Jack: Yes, and we're very excited about it.
Merida: Well actually thanks, but I think I'm just gonna hang out here tonight..
Hiccup: Okay, sure.
Once-ler: Hey Mavy, you wanna help?
Mavis: Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to.