WARNING: this story contains scenes of homosexual activity and sexual swear words. If either of these offend you, please don't read.

As Hutch lay in bed, in his new home, with his new wife he thought of Starsky. "Oh God, what have I done?" he said aloud.

Kirsty looked at her husband. They'd only known each other a few months. She was working as a singer in a cheap bar, downtown. She had noticed Hutch the minute he came in. There was something about him that seemed so sad and yet he still looked out of place, unlike most of the men who had come to drown their sorrows.

"Ken, baby what is it? She rolled and snuggled into his armpit, her head on his chest.

"baby?" she queried.

He kissed the top of her head. She smelled lovely, heck she was lovely, but did he love her...

Hutch sighed. A deep sigh, so full of pain. Tears filled his eyes. He had just spent his wedding night in a house his father had given them, as a wedding present, with his beautiful new wife and yet he was thinking of Starsky.

"I let him down Honey. I let Starsky down." He sounded so sad and Kirsty stroked his chest.

"Ssshhh baby" she soothed. "Starsky's a big boy, he knows where you are if he needs you."

"But what if I need him?" Hutch whispered. He closed his eyes and sighed again. "Eight years we were partners, eight years and when he needed me most, I wasn't there. What kind of partner does that?

"Ken you got to stop this. We've been through this." Kisty sat up. She faced her husband. "Dave wanted you to go, he wished you well. He wanted this for you baby."

"What, to be a sheriff in a small town, living in a house that I didn't even buy?" he challenged.

"No. He wanted you to be happy." A pause, she touched his face, "Happy with me." she smiled

Hutch looked at her, "I'm sorry. I don't think I can be. I need him Kirsty" Hutch was crying openly now, "I love him"

"I know you love him, but you'll see him. As soon as we're settled we can invite him to stay." She reasoned.

"Kirsty listen to me! I love him. I mean really love him. I love Starsky." just saying it made Hutch feel better. He'd finally admitted it to someone other than himself.

"What do you mean LOVE HIM Ken?" Confused she drew away from Hutch, "What do you mean? Tell me, please tell me." but she already knew the answer as sson as she looked at Hutch's face. In a small voice she whimpered "What about us?"

Hutch sat up, he made to cuddle her, to offer some comfort but she pulled away. "Don't touch me!" she snapped, "Oh my God, did you...did he...Oh my God!" she began to cry

"Kirsty please, Honey don't cry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, so sorry."

She composed herself, "Did you make love with him? Did you Ken?" She was angry now.

He lowered his head, "No" he looked at her, "No I promise you, I never, we never, he doesn't know. I guess nearly losing him made me realise. Kirsty I'm sorry this..." he looked around, "This isn't what I want. I want Starsky"

Kirsty looked crushed, "You don't want me?" she asked in a very small voice, "Us?"

Hutch shook his head.

"I'm pregnant." BOMBSHELL

"What?"

"I'm pregnant Ken, I've known for a few weeks. I was saving it until today to tell you. My wedding gift to you. I guess my gift isn't a patch on what you had planned for me." she said sarcastically.

Hutch lent back into the pillows. "I'll stay" he said. Two words and he felt his life was over. His only chance of happiness gone.

"What about Dave?" she asked

"It doesn't matter." But Hutch knew it did. With every ounce of his soul he wanted Starsky. He loved Starsky. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with Starsky, "Me and Thee" as it had always been and now he was going to be a father instead. No happiness, no excitement, no cheer.

" Huuutch!" Starsky woke, sweating. Groggily he sat up. It was still dark. Scratching his fingers through his hair, he looked at the nightstand. The clock said 2:45am. His bladder began to nag, urging him to go to the bathroom. He flung his legs out and onto the floor. Sitting to compose himself he re-checked the clock "Damn!" he said aloud.

For the past week it had been the same dream, Hutch was in trouble and Starsky couldn't get to him in time.

He stood and steadied himself before making his way to the bathroom.

After relieving himself he needed a drink. He walked into the kitchen. There was some cold juice in the refridgerator, he drank straight from the carton. 3:10am, what to do now? He knew sleep wasn't an option. Going back into the bedroom he put on some sweatpants and an old t-shirt. Returning to the lounge, he braced himself for a long night in front of the TV.

Eventually he must have dozed off because the next he heard was a pounding on his front door. "Sergeant Starsky, Serg' it's me, O'Donnell. Are you in there?"

"What the….O'Donnell, O'Donnell, oh hold up, I'll be right there." Starsky got up and answered the door. "Hey kid what's up?" Starsky asked, making his way towards the kitchen, "You want some coffee?"

"Ah no, yes" O'Donnell corrected, "Serg' what are you doing?" he asked.

"Huh, what d'you mean what am I doing? I'm making coffee. Sugar?"

"What?"

"Sugar. You want cream and sugar?"

"Ah no black, thanks Sergeant you were supposed to meet me at the precinct an hour ago."

"I was?" realisation, "Oh yeah, so I was" laughed Starsky. "And let me guess Dobey is blowing his top"

"Well…………he said he knows what you're doing and that you aint gonna get a new partner this time" O'Donnell smiled, "Guess that means you're stuck with me!"

Starsky grinned at O'Donnel. He was a nice kid, not long out of uniform. He was the fifth partner he had been assigned since Hutch left the force eight months ago. Starsky knew Dobey was right and he wanted to make this work, he really did. He liked O'Donnell but he wasn't Hutch. Starsky really wanted Hutch. Since Hutch had left to get married everything had lost it's appeal. Sure they weren't getting on. After the business with Kira and Starsky getting shot Hutch had been distant, as though he was carrying the guilt all by himself. He had let himself go. Grew his hair long and a moustache, Starsky hated that, put on weight and generally didn't want to hang out anymore, but Starsky reasoned it was just temporary. He really felt that he could get Hutch back, back to the way it was, and then Hutch met Kirsty and it's as though he never looked back. So when, four months later, Hutch said he was leaving to get married and was moving back to Duluth Starsky gave them his blessing and wished them well.

"Serg'?" The sound of O'Donnell's voice brought Starsky back to the present.

"Yeah look I gotta take a shower. Call Dobey, tell him 'm sick or somethin'. As soon as I'm cleaned up we'll hit the streets, 'kay?" Starsky instructed, as he made his way to the bathroom.

Standing in the shower he began to think of Hutch. When was it he realised he wanted more from Hutch than he was willing, or able to give? It was all he could do not to cry out.

About a month after Hutch had left Starsky had got drunk, then got drunk some more and eventually ended the night with a pretty girl who had offered to take him home. He fucked her hard and pleasured her in everyway, as if to prove he could and when it was over he cried. He made it home, that evening, feeling dirty, cheap and ashamed, and still he wanted Hutch.

He finally finished his shower, had a shave and exited the bathroom with a HUGE grin on his face. "Come on then, what'cha waitin' for?" he said, "Let's go catch us some bad guys!"

The day was uneventful. They had cruised all day in O'Donnell's car and he dropped Starsky back home a little after 7pm. "You wanna come in?" Starsky asked, as he got out of the car, "for a drink or something?" he continued.

"Ah yeah sure"smiled O'Donnell

They entered Starsky'a apartment. Starsky went straight to the refridgerator and grabbed two beers. "Hey you wanna eat? I can order us some pizza!" he called.

"Sure, why not." Smiled O'Donnell, from the couch.

Starsky dialled for pizza and then came back in the lounge. "Be 40 mnutes" he smiled.

"Sure" replied O'Donnell again.

"So…" Starsky began "Guess if we're gonna be partners we should get to know each other huh?"

"Partners? Ah yeah, what you wanna know?" asked O'Donnell.

Starsky laughed. "It aint an interrogation! I guess I've been an asshole" he looked sheepish. "When Hutch left I thought I'd quit too, guess I didn't realise how much being a cop was part of me. Hutch aint comin' back, I think I just needed time to get used to that." Smiled Starsky.

"Look Serg'" began O'Donnell

"Call me David or Dave or whatever…" interrupted Starsky

"Dave I know you and Hutch was tight. Everyone knew. No-one could believe it when he left the force" he paused, "But I guess love will do that to you eh?" he laughed.

"hmmmm" replied Starsky, "What about you O'Donnell, you about to leave and go and get married?"

O'Donnell laughed "It's hardly likely sir. I'm Gay."

Starsky looked surprised "Oh" he managed to squeak.

O'Donnell spotted his face, "Is it a problem sir?"

Starsky shook his head, "No, no problem I just didn't figure it, is all." He responded.

"Well we're not all raving Queens" O'Donnell laughed "And don't worry I wont jump your body. You're not my type!"

Starsky grinned. He liked this kid, maybe things would work out afterall.

As the next day was a day off they decided to make it a late one and when, at 2am, O'Donnell suggested they go out to a club Starsky agreed.

They entered the nightclub, which O'Donnell hadn't told Starsky was a gay club, but Starsky didn't seem to mind. Before long he was dancing and enjoying the music. He had a wonderful night dancing to all the latest disco hits and every so often a slow number would come on and Starsky would sit quietly, at the bar, wondering what Hutch was doing now.

He missed Hutch. It made him sad, but more than that, it confused him. He was a Bay City Police Officer, a heterosexual Bay City Police Officer and he was sitting in a Gay bar thinking of his ex-partner. Before he could think too much the music had changed rhythm and he was dancing again.

Above the noise of the music he could hear O'Donnell calling him

"Hey Dave, Dave!"

"What?" Starsky asked, leaning his ear to O'Donnell's cheek

"You're a good dancer!" O'Donnell shouted and smiled. "I, ah can we talk?" he shouted again.

"Sure" Starsky shouted back, and nodded towards a lounge area where the music wasn't as loud. They sat on a large sofa. "What is it?"Asked Starsky, as soon as they sat down. O'Donnell fidgeted and looked uncomfortable. Starsky waited. Sensing his partner's discomfort he touched his arm "Hey" he asked gently, "You wanna share?" he smiled. Before he could react O'Donnell had lunged at him and began to kiss him, hard, on the mouth. Starsky pulled back as though a bolt of electricity had gone through him "Woaw!" he said, shocked.

O'Donnell immediately began to apologise, "I'm sorry, I, I , I am so sorry. I, I , I guess you're still hung up on Hutch huh? I just thought, well you know, our little chat, earlier, when you said that you needed time to realise Hutch, he's not coming back, well…"

"Hey hold on….."Interrupted Starsky, "Me and Hutch we were never…" he paused, "You thought me and Hutch were…." He paused again

"Lovers Sir" O'Donnell finished the sentence for him. "Yes Sir. I think a lot of people do, did." He corrected, "No-one could believe it when Hutch got married. Everyone was sure you guys would grow old together."
Starsky didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Four months ago he would have found the suggestion outrageous but now, now he wasn't so sure. He wasn't gay. He knew that much, but he did love Hutch. Hell he even needed Hutch, but did he need him like that?

"O'Donnell you got this all wrong. Hutch and me we're buddies. He's like a brother to me, that's all. Crikey he's married for God's sake!" Starsky explained.

"And what about you sir?"

"Huh?"

"What about you? Hutch is married but what about you?"

Starsky thought of Helen and Rosie and Terri. He had loved them, loved them all. He and Helen had talked about marriage, kids, one day. And Terri……….he would be married to Terri now if Prudholm hadn't murdered her, wouldn't he?

"I had my chances O'Donnell. I've been in love. Enough to marry? Yes, yes I have. I'm sorry O'Donnell but I'm not gay."

"Are you angry sir?" O'Donnell asked, unsure.

Starsky smiled, "Angry? No. Hey I should be flattered, right? Now what you say we have another beer and enjoy some of this music!"

Hutch stayed true to his word and remained with Kirsty and, when she gave birth to their beautiful baby girl, he was so proud he thought he would burst. He had written to Starsky to tell him that Clara had been born. Had it really been over eight months since he last saw him?

He couldn't remember when it had all began to go wrong, was it Kira, was it before Kira - she was certainly the catalyst that begun their demise? They had manged to claw their way back to some semblance of a friendship again but, when Starsky had been shot, it was over.

Hutch couldn't carry the guilt. Starsky couldn't bear to see Hutch in so much pain. Hutch left before Starsky had even returned to full active duty, married practically the first girl he had met and now, less than a year later, he was a husband and a father and Starsky was alone.

Starsky wrote back saying he would get to Duluth as soon as he could but Hutch knew it wouldn't be anytime soon.

When Clara was six weeks old Hutch and Kirsty decided to take her to visit Kirsty's parents, back in LA. As they approached LAX Hutch could feel his stomach begin to churn. Kirsty looked across as her husband. "Hey baby, it's okay. You gonna meet up with Dave?" Pull no punches Kirsty thought Hutch and, a little too abrubtly, answered "We're here to see your parents, not to chase ghosts." or ex-partners he thought. Kirsty looked at Hutch, "Ken you gotta see him baby, just for old times sake huh?" "I'm not sure" replied Hutch becoming more itrritated. "We'll see" and then softer "maybe" he whispered and smiled.

They claimed their luggage, exited the terminal and hailed a cab. Hutch laid back in his seat, closed his eyes and sighed. He began to remember.

He remembered when they first met. He thought about how Starsky couldn't close his locker door and yet, with one swift nudge of the elbow, he' done it! They became friends from that moment on. "Starsky and Hutch"

Hutch smiled at the memory. It was Starsky who had given him that name.

After the Police Academy, and working their way through the ranks, they eventually settled as Detectives First Class, Homocide Division.

Hutch opened his eyes and looked down at little Clara. How far he had come. He smiled I love my little girl he thought, but he loved Starsky too. He wasn't gay, he knew that- but he needed Starsky in his life. He wasn't complete without Starsky.

"Kirsty, Honey" Hutch nudged his sleepy wife, "I've decided I'm gonna see Dave". She smiled.

"I'm gonna drop you at your parents and then phone him." He pondered and thought about the last time he had seen him, "it's been too long" he continued.

Hutch closed his eyes again. He remembered when Starsky had been shot in the Italian restaurant and he had carried him twenty five yards into the back office. He thought he was going to lose him then but, in usual Starsky fashion, his partner had pulled through and had even requested something to eat!

He remembered when Callander had infected him. Oh the pain. Hutch sighed and then shuddered. He'd really thought that was it but Starsky had sold his soul to the Devil to get Callander to come in.

Hutch laughed.

"What's so funny?" asked Kirsty, bemused.

"Oh, just thinkin'" replied Hutch, and closed his eyes again. He remembered the ant farm and what a hideous present it had been, but Starsky was so proud, he couldn't be angry. You're one crazy partner though Hutch.

The cab stopping brought him back to the present. They had arrived at Kirsty's parent's house.

He took the baby whilst Kirsty exited the cab and was left, literally, standing there holding her, when Kirsty ran to her folks, who had come out to greet them.

Hutch looked down at his sleeping daughter. So small, so perfect, with the button nose and red bow lips of her mother but the blue eyes and blond hair of her father. He kissed her, tenderly, on the forehead. "Beautiful Clara, you're gonna see your Uncle Dave soon. ……………………I promise"

He called to Kirsty, to take Clara, whilst he paid the cab driver and gathered their bags. Kirsty's father had come to help and, between them, they managed everything, whilst the two women, ahead of them, talked and cooed over the baby.

Hutch helped Kirsty unpack. Carla was settled in the crib and mom and dad were preparing the evening meal.

"Honey, when are you gonna call Dave?" Kirsty asked, whilst folding the little pink dress that her parent's had bought the baby.

"I'll call" Hutch responded, without looking up.

"Ken?"

"Kirsty" Hutch looked at his wife and sighed, "Okay now. I'll call him now"

Hutch picked up the telephone. He dialled Starsky's number and waited. Brrr, brrr, brrr – three rings and no answer. Hutch looked at Kirsty, who smiled and mouthed "give it time" Brrr, brrrr, brrrr - still no answer. Hutch was about to replace the receiver when "Hello Sergeant Starsk's domain!" followed by a chuckle and then "ouch!"

"Starsk'?"

"Oh sorry, hold on. You want Dave, right? Who is calling?" asked the stranger on Starsky's phone.

"I, ah, I" Hutch faltered, "tell him it's a friend" he finally said.

"'Kay" responded the voice. "Hey Davey boy, you gotta call!"

"Who is it?" asked Starsky.

Hutch's stomach did a somersault. This was the first time he had heard Starsky's voice in months. Oh Starsk' Hutch felt tears beginning to form, there was a definite lump in his throat. He waited.

Presently he heard the receiver being snatched up, "'Lo"

Hutch wavered. Silence.

"Hello" Starsky repeated. "Hey O'Donnell, is this a joke? Haha funy!" Starsky shouted.

"It's no joke" whispered Hutch.

"Hutch?" asked Starsky

"Hey buddy" he answered.

"Hutch, Hutch that really you?"

"Yeah buddy. It's really me. How ya doin'?"

"How'm I doin'? Hutch it's you! It's been…………oh I don't know how long, too long. You okay?"

"Yeah Starsk' I'm okay" laughed Hutch

"And the baby, how's the baby?"

Hutch laughed again. It was so good to hear Starsky's voice. It had been too long. "The baby is fine and for the record, her name is Carla and she's beautiful!" It had been so easy. Starsky had made it easy. "Listen Starsk' I'm in LA"

Stasrky interrupted him, "Wow Hutch that's only an hour from here! Where, I'll come and meet you?"

"Woaw, slow down partner." Partner, partner, just saying it made Hutch smile. "I've only just arrived and I'm beat. I'm Kirsty's folks house. They hadn't seen Carla yet so we're staying for a few days. How 'bout I meet you tomorrow, at Huggy's?"

Starsky laughed, "Huggy's, sure, yeah sure Hutch, what time?"

"Say three."

"Three it is, oh Hutch it's good to hear from you."

"Sure buddy, sure" Hutch laughed

"It's been too long, ya know. I should'a' called." Regret

"Starsk' we'll talk it about it tomorrow okay?"

"Sure Hutch. Oh Hutch" a choked sob.

"I know" Hutch soothed, "And for the record, I'm sorry." And with that, he hung up the phone. Kirsty was instantly by his side. "Hey" she smiled "you did it Honey. First step is always the hardest." Hutch nodded and blinked away tears. He attempted a small smile of acknowledgment.

Hutch was on edge for the whole of the following morning. Snap out of it Hutchinson he chastised himself. Kirsty, and her parents, decided to give him some space and took Carla to Santa Monica for the day.

Hutch mooched around the house, and changed outfits at least ten times before he was finally ready to leave. Thankfully Kirsty's father had said he could borrow his car and he made it into Bay City easily.

It felt strange driving into the town. The familiar streets, that used to be his and Starsky's beat, hadn't changed. The grime, the filth, the pimps, the hookers, they were all still there. All that was missing was he and Starsky. He laughed as he imagined Starsky cruising the streets in his striped tomato. Then he became pensive oh Starsk' what you cruisin' in now? He wondered.

Hutch pulled up outside The Pits. The Torino wasn't in site, that meant Starsky hadn't arrived yet or he'd changed his car. Never happen! Thought Hutch and smiled.

He parked up, locked the car and made his way into the bar.

The sounds, the smells, the lights, and, finally, the proprietor "Huggy!" Hutch yelled as he pulled the gangly black man into his embrace. "Bro' Hutch my man, what' cha' doin' here? You're a sight for a brother's eyes!" They broke from their embrace just as Starsky entered the bar. Huggy stepped back. Hutch looked. Starsky froze. Their eyes locked. Pain, hurt, betrayal, love- all wrapped up in one ten second stare. Huggy looked from one to the other. This aint good he thought. Cheerfully he said "Starsky, my man, what it is?" Starsky unlocked his gaze and nodded at Huggy Bear. "Hug'" he said, "Get me a beer huh?" Huggy nodded. "And get Hutch one too. He looks like he needs it." Hutch snapped out of his trance and smiled towards Huggy, "Sure Hug' why not"

Starsky approached Hutch- awkward- "So" he began. He searched Hutch's face. He looked well, better than he done in the last few months, since the Gunther shooting.

"I see the rat has gone" Starsky said, pointing to Hutch's upper lip, "And you cut your hair too." Hutch smiled, "You sound like my mother" he joked. "I do?...I guess I do" Starsky laughed. Ice broken they took a booth at the back. Huggy brought them two beers.

"So" Starsky began, again "You look well"

"And you" acknowledged Hutch.

"Oh I do okay, few war wounds here and there but, you know me, they just end up as battle scars" Starsky smiled, meekly.

"You on the streets?" asked Hutch

"Yep. Back on the streets. Even got me a new partner too. Went through a few to get there but finally found him. O'Donnell, we work well together."

"Good. That's good" replied Hutch.

Silence- more silence- a sip of beer.

"Hutch" "Starsky" they both said in unison

"You first" Hutch said

"No. Go on" responded Starsky.

"Starsky we can pussy around, making small talk, avoiding the real issue………."

"Real issue. What real issue Hutch?" Starsky asked, accusingly "Why did you leave?" He was angry, hurt, "Why did you leave me, us?"

"I couldn't handle it Starsk'. I felt responsible. I should have stayed, I know that now, but I chickened, I couldn't handle it. I had to leave."

"I can understand you had to get out Hutch but why stay away, why so long? What did I do?"

Trust Starsky to think it was all his fault. Hutch felt the tears begin to well again, not for the first time since he had arrived.

"Starsky it wasn't you. It was me. We were tearing each other apart. After Kira…."

"Kira?" Starsky interrupted

"Things were falling apart long before Kira Starsk' somewhere, in our friendship, the lines got blurred. I found myself jealous of Kira. I didn't go with her to hurt you." Hutch looked down, "I went with her to stop her wanting you."

"Hutch?"

"I was confused Starsky. I was in love with you."

Starsky touched Hutch's hand, "Hey buddy, Me and Thee right? You know that, I love you too." Starsky grinned.

"Starsky you're not listening to me!" Hutch drew his hand back, "I was IN LOVE with you. I wanted you. At least I thought I did."

"And now?"

"And now I have Kirsty and Carla and things change."

Hutch took a sip of his beer. He was spent, emotionally exhausted, he sighed and couldn't look at his friend.

"Hutch it's okay. I felt the same"

Hutch looked up. He looked at Starsky. "You did?" he asked, amazed.

"Yep I really did." A full Starsky grin. "I thought we'd grow old together Hutch. Two old men gumming each other to death." He laughed

"And now?" asked Hutch

"And now I got me a new partner. In every sense of the word."

Hutch looked puzzled, "You mean…….."

"Yep!" interrupted Starsky "I went gay!" and he laughed. "You know you did me a favour when you left. Sean is the best thing that's ever happened to me!"

Hutch looked at Starsky and for the first time he saw, Starsky looked really well and very happy.

"Well?" Starsky asked.

"Well what?" responded Hutch.

"Say somethin'. What do ya think?"

"About what?"

"Hutch don't play dumb. You were gone. I was in hell for a long time. I was going through partners like toilet paper. Dobey was gonna pull me off the streets before I got them, or myself, killed. Then he put me with Sean. I was angry, but he stayed. I was lazy, he picked up the pieces. I was cruel, he just laughed it off. Pretty soon I found I enjoyed working with him."

"So when did work become something else?" asked Hutch.

Was that anger or jealousy Starsky was seeing in those baby blues.

"What's it to ya Hutch? Sean and me, it's nothing to do with you. I'm happy Hutch. Finally. Can't we leave it at that?"

Hutch knew at that moment that he and Starsky would not reconcile. They spent the afternoon catching up. Huggy joined them, between busy periods, and sometimes Hutch even managed to kid himself that it was just like old times, but it wasn't.

He was happy for Starsky. It was good to see how his face lit up everytime he talked about Sean. Even though Hutch had Kirsty, he was filled with regret. Regret for what might have been, if only he'd had the guts to stay.

"So buddy, when you going back to Duluth?" Starsky asked

"Oh in a few days. Kirsty wanted her folks to spend sometime with Carla. She's their first Grandchild you know."

"Ah I bet they're proud. You did good Hutch. Wow after Vanessa I never thought you'd walk down the aisle again." Starsky laughed.

"No, me neither, guess I just met the right girl eh?" Hutch answered, but in his heart he knew it wasn't so. He'd only stayed because of the baby. He was living second best, and he knew it.

"Guess you did" Starsky raised his glass "To new partners and happiness" he smiled, but Hutch couldn't join in the toast. He couldn't lie, not to Starsky.

"Hutch?"

"I can't Starsk'. I'm sorry"

"You can't what? Hey Hutch come on. Talk to me." Starsky commanded, concerned.

"I'd like to meet Sean" Hutch said "What's his surname?"

"O'Donnell and why? Why d'you wanna meet him Hutch, give him the Hutchinson once over? You're not my father."

"No but I am your friend. I just wanna meet this guy who makes you so happy."

"Okay I can arrange that, but I warn you, he aint no fool. You give him the third degree he'll come out fighting. He's a good man and one of the best damned cops I know. He watches my back."

"Like I couldn't" whispered Hutch.

Starsky reached across and touched Hutch's arm, "Hutch we been through this. There was nothing you could have done- no time. You yelled, I just had no-where to go. You were watching my back, same as always, Gunther just caught us off guard is all. Hutch you couldn't know, you did all you could do. Stop beating yourself up over this!" Starsky smiled "Hey I survived. Look at me!"

"But if you hadn't- I didn't watch you the way I was supposed to. I was too wrapped up, my head was all over the place. Those last few months…………..Starsk' I shouldn't have been on the streets with you."

"Hutch you gotta stop this. It's tearin' you up inside. It's been months Hutch. It's over buddy. Let it go." Starsky watched as he saw a silent tear roll down Hutch's cheek. Immediately he was there, beside him, cradling him as Hutch, finally, allowed the tears to flow. "I love you Starsky. I've always loved you, just been too pig headed to say it before." Hutch looked up at Starsky, who very slowly brought his lips down to Hutch. First he kissed one tear away, then the other. He kissed his forehead, he kissed his nose and eventually Hutch could bear it no longer. Their lips met and the tenderness was replaced by hunger and something more urgent, more desperate. Hutch moaned as he felt Starsky's tongue find it's way into his mouth. So soft, so wet, so warm, as he knew it would be. He felt an ache in his pants as his cock started to swell. He had wanted this for so long. "Starsk'" he breathed. "Starsk' not here" Starsky pulled back. "Hutch not here. Not anywhere." Brought to his senses by Hutch's interruption, he thought of Sean. "We've both moved on. This isn't what we want."

"It is, it is" pleaded Hutch, "Starsky please, I love you"

"And I love you too Hutch, but not this. We can't"

"Why?" begged Hutch

"Why, because if we do there is no going back. You wanna risk that? You wanna risk throwing away all that we were for a bit of fanny?"

"It isn't like that Starsky." Hutch's eyes were pleading and Starsky could see that it wasn't but…..

"Hutch I have Sean." He said "I'm not gonna do this to him. Not even for you. Fuck you Hutch. I wanted you for so fucking long, but you were gone. I thought I'd die. You did more damage than Gunther's bullets ever could." Starsky looked at Hutch and knew this was it, the end. "goodbye Hutch. Go back to your wife. Go back to Duluth. This isn't what you need Hutch. Go get your fucking head straight. Stop blaming yourself, get on with your life." He kissed Hutch's forehead again. "Go back to your baby" and with that, he walked away.

"Starsk'" A sob escaped from Hutch's throat, but Starsky didn't look back.

Huggy had seen the exchange and sauntered over to the booth. "Hutch" Hutch looked up, "He's gone Hug'" he looked so sad. "Let him go Hutch. He was a mess you know, for a long time. Did he tell you about Sean?" Hutch nodded. "He's been good for him Hutch. Let him go, let him be happy." Hutch nodded. He knew their friend was right but it hurt so much, oh so much.

"Get me another beer will ya Hug'? I'll just stay a little while" he smiled.

Huggy patted his back, "Comin' right up Hutch. You take all the time you need."

Kirsty was waiting to greet him as he entered the house. "Hey baby, you're home, how was it?" She asked, cheerfully. Hutch brushed past her, without looking up. He made to go up the stairs "Ken?" she called.

"Not now Kirsty. I'm beat!" he said and then sighed. "Kirsty spent the afternoon in a bar, I'm tired, I smell of smoke, let me take a shower. I'll be right down." He searched her face, "Okay? Explanation over he began to climb the stairs. Sensing his mood Kirsty replied, "I'll fix us a drink"

Hutch made it to the bathroom, closed the door and went over to the sink. Looking in the mirror, all he felt was despair. He felt as though he were drowning, lost in a sea of misery. He'd known Starsky for almost nine years and had probably loved him for at least eight and half of those.

He began to undress. Standing there, naked, his thoughts turned to the last few hours. He thought about kissing Starsky. He licked his lips and imagined that he could still taste him.

Stepping into the shower, he waited whilst the water found the right temperature. Finally, he allowed the water to flow over him. He titlted his head back and closed his eyes.

He began to dream, fantasising that Starsky was in there with him. He ran his hands over his chest, imagining it was Starsky's hands. He circled his stomach and slowly sought what he was searching for. In response his cock began to grow, he stroked it, teased it, all the while imagining it was Starsky's hands, moulding, tickling, squeezing, stroking. His excitement was growing, his pleasure heightening. He was masturbating. Slowly, at first, running his left hand up and down his shaft, pulling, allowing the foreskin to move. Faster, faster, he began to pant. Starsky, Starsky he wanted to shout out loud, let the world know how he felt. He moaned as he came, his orgasm hot in his hand, but he didn't want it to end. He wasn't ready to let go of his fantasy. His fingers, covered in his pleasure, teased the head of his cock. He put them in his mouth, tasting the salt, the heat. Lost in his dream, he fell to his knees, and began to sob. Sobs racked his body as the realisation that he had lost Starsky forever hit him.

Presently he washed himself. Trying to cleanse his body and mind from the love of Starsky, just long enough to go downstairs to Kirsty, to Carla, as Starsky had told him to.

Kirsty was waiting for him in the kitchen. She smiled as he entered "babe" he said tenderly as she approached. His arms circled her waist and she bent her head up to kiss him. "mmm that was nice" she cooed. "Ken, mom and dad have Carla in the yard, how about we sneak upstairs for a while?"

For so long their whole relationship had been built on sex. Had Hutch been trying to convince himself? "Ah what about that drink?" he smiled.

She responded by flicking his nose. "Tough huh?" She asked referring to his meeting with Starsky. "Tougher than I thought it would be" He said. "I still love him Kirsty" She looked at him. His eyes told her he was telling the truth. She began to cry. "Ssshhhh" he soothed "It doesn't matter Kirsty. We have different lives. Nothing will happen. I'm here, I'll always be here." She hugged him tight and there was laughter in her tears. Nervous relief that her husband would stay.

"What now?" she finally asked.

"Now, my beloved, we drink up and go and join our daughter out back. I haven't seen her all day!"

Hutch had to accept the situation. Starsky was right. They had missed their window and now, both their lives, had moved on.

They washed their glasses and joined Kirsty's parents, and the baby, outside. Hutch rubbed his hands and smiled as he looked up at the blue sky above LA. "Kirsty I think we should move back" he proclaimed, "I'm not happy in Duluth and Carla will need her Grandparents more as she gets older. What do you say?"

She squealed with delight and flung her arms around him "Are you sure, you mean it?"

"Yeah" Hutch laughed, "I'm sure and I mean it!"

Starsky returned home. Sean's car was parked outside. He let out a deep sigh as he knew he had to tell Sean the truth. Okay Davey Boy, time to face the music! He told himself, as he entered the apartment.

"Davey, that you?" a voice called from the kitchen.

"Yeah it's me, what cha doin' here? Thought you were spending the day at the beach?"

"I was, I did, got too cold, so I thought I'd come home ready for my man to make me feel warm." He came out of the kitchen grinning. "So how 'bout it?" he smiled mischievously, as he lent to give Starsky a kiss……."Keeping me warm I mean."

"Sean I've had a hellova day, what say we eat instead?" Starsky tried to keep the comment light but Sean picked up on his mood straight away. "Dave?" a pause, "What's wrong?" he stroked Starsky's cheek, tenderly. Starsky pulled away.

"Okay so now I know something's wrong. Now you got me scared. Talk to me!"

Starsky smiled and took Sean's hand, kissing it to reassure him he said, "It's nothing Babe. Just tired that's all. Like I said it's been a hellova day"

"Where have you been?" asked Sean, suspicious now.

"No-where. Just out. Sean I'm tired. We've been working nine days straight. I guess my body just needs time to recognise a day off, when we get it. That's all" Starsky kissed Sean, "Trust me. I'll be fine."

Sean wasn't convinced but decided to let it go, for now.

Hutch's Captain, in Duluth, made it easy for Hutch to return to LA. He had known for a long time that this Big City cop was struggling to fit in.

Hutch had decided against going back to Bay City, instead he enrolled in the LAPD. He had all but been accepted, just a medical and a few entrance exams to complete and he was in! Hutch was confident things would be okay. It had been twelve years since he had graduated from the academy and nine of those had been spent with Starsky, working homicide.

Less than three weeks after Kirsty and Hutch had made their decision, the house, in Duluth, had been returned to his father and they were in LA.

Hutch had not told Starsky.

Starsky and Sean returned to work. Starsky was trying hard to continue, as before, but things were strained between them. For a start Starsky hadn't let Sean come near him since the meeting with Hutch, and he still hadn't even told him!

Sean was trying to be patient but he missed Starsky. Conversation was great but it was no-where as exciting as the sex they shared. Starsky had the tightest butt Sean had even ridden, and, oh, the taste of him. Sean sighed at what was becoming a distant memory.

They were cruising in the torino. Starsky was driving. Sean rested his hand on Starsky's thigh. It was a habit they had fallen into early in their relationship and the only problem was they had to remember not to do it when they had anyone else in the car. It wasn't yet common knowledge that Sean and Starsky was more than just police partners, although Captain Dobey and Huggy knew.

Sean began moving his thumb in a circling motion, closer and closer to Starsky's crotch. He was pleased to see Starsky's cock rise up to greet it, with approval. He smirked….

"Dave?"

"Yeah?"

"We okay?"

"Sure, why wouldn't we be?"

"Because this is the first time, in three weeks, that I've even had a smidgen of a response from you. I'm glad to see your dick still wants me, even if you don't!" he said sarcastically.

"Sean don't. Don't talk like that. It's vulgar and it's not you." Starsky said, irritated.

"What the fuck do you mean it's vulgar? DO you know how much I just wanna slam you over that hood and fuck you here, now!? DO you know how I miss your tight little ass bobbing in front of me, my balls jangling with yours? DO you fucking know Dave? Coz maybe you just aint realised!" Sean was angry, frustrated and upset.

"Sean…." Starsky rested his hand on Sean's, "I'm sorry. I just got, I got a lot going on right now."

"So talk to me. Talk to me, fuck me or leave me, but I can't do this no-more." Sean said, full of regret.

"Tonight. Tonight we'll talk, I promise." Reassured Starsky. He gave Sean a small smile. He planted a kiss on his own hand and placed it on Sean's cheek. "Babe, we're okay, really. I just need to get my head straight." A pause and then, "I love you." In eight months Sean had never heard Starsky tell him he loved him. Okay so when he was riding him like a wild man and Starsky was begging for more, then he might say it, but not like this. Sean took Starsky's hand and kissed every finger, one at a time. "I love you too David" he smiled.

Zebra 2, zebra 3 there's a 2-11 in progress on the corner of 5th and Marshall. The moment was interrupted by the radio. Starsky nodded to Sean who reached for the Mars light and placed it on the roof. Starsky floored the accelerator – "Let's go"

They arrived right in the middle of a gun battle. Several black and whites were already on the scene. Starsky and Sean spilled out of the torino into a hail of bullets, they both just managed to use the car as a shield. "Sean?" asked Starsky, concerned. "I'm still here!" he replied, smiling, "How we gonnna play this?" asked Starsky.

Despite having been partners for a few months Starsky was still not as sure, with Sean, as he had been with Hutch. He knew he was good. He knew he'd watch his back and he knew he loved him but he still didn't know how he worked. Even though he was a good cop, he could also be unpredictable. With Hutch it was always Starsky who was being brought to heel, with Sean, it was Starsky who had to do all the taming. In bed Starsky loved Sean's enthusiasm, his creativity, but on the streets he knew it could be dangerous, for both of them. Aside from the last three weeks, it was the only thing they had ever argued about. Starsky figured it was probably the reason Dobey partnered them in the first place.

"You stay here, I'll go round back" instructed Sean, "And for goodness sake, keep your head down, we got a date later, don't forget!" he said, laughing and took off. Starsky didn't even have time to respond. Let him be safe prayed Starsky, and then put all his attention into the job.

The gun battle raged for over ten minutes, Starsky had managed to pick off two of the perps as they had tried to make a run for it. Of the two, let inside, one had suffered a leg wound and the other, seeing he was outnumbered surrendered. Starsky hadn't seen Sean since they had arrived.

Two ambulances took away the dead, and injured man. A black and white took away the last man. Starsky went into the store to take witness statements. He was just entering when he heard "Officer down!" it was Sean's voice. One of the armed men was still in the store. They had reckoned on four- but there were actually five! Sean was the officer shot and just managed to shout before unconsciousness claimed him.

Starsky rode with him in the ambulance. ON arrival at the hospital Sean was immediately taken to theatre, where surgeons were going to attempt to remove a bullet from his head.

Starsky filled in all the necessary forms and called Captain Dobey. There was no family to call. Sean's family had disowned him when they found out about his sexual status.

Patrick O'Donnell was a proud Irish man with nine sons; he was never going to accept that one of them was a homosexual.

Starsky sat and waited and, whilst he did, he began to think………………

Of Terri, he'd been through this before.

And Hutch.

How many times had he and Hutch taken up this vigil, sitting in the hospital corridor waiting for news? He sat, head bowed and then decided to go and get a coffee. He wanted to be awake when Sean came out of theatre. He was approaching the coffee machine when he found Hutch. He was talking to a doctor.

"Hutch!" Starsky called.

Hutch looked up. "Starsky what are you doing here? Are you okay?" Hutch noticed that Starsky seemed pale.

"I'm fine." A pause, "its Sean. They brought him in a while ago, he's been shot."

"Serious?"

"He's in theatre now. It could be. I don't know. You know these things Hutch; they never tell you what you need to know. And you?" Why are you here?"

"The baby is having tests."

"Serious?"

"Could be." And Hutch smiled. "I don't know Starsky. They're not telling us much. All we know is she got sick. Now they're talking about blood count and bone marrow, stuff like that. Both Kirsty and I had to give blood samples and yet they're not really telling us what's wrong. Maybe they don't know. I don't know. Carla was listless, floppy. At first Kirsty thought she'd had a fit. Then we both panicked and though meningitis, but they ruled that out. So here we are a battery of tests, one sick baby and none the wiser."

"I'm sorry Hutch. If there's anything I can do."

"Yeah. Look you got your own worries. You better go be with your man huh? I'll let you know how we get on."

"Sure." Starsky went to walk away and then, "How come you're here? You visiting again?" he asked

"Ah we're in town." Hutch replied. He wasn't yet ready to tell Starsky he had moved to Los Angeles.

Starsky nodded and returned to wait for news on Sean.

And at 2am it came. Sean was dead and Starsky hadn't even had the chance to say goodbye.

Captain Dobey went to telephone his parents and Starsky went in to see him.

"Hey Babe" he said, on entering the room.

"Oh Sean I'm sorry, so, so sorry. You were so head strong…..there's so many things I wanna say. We should have talked. I'm sorry." Starsky sat beside the bed. He laid his head on Sean's chest and cried, repeating "Sorry" over and over.

"The fucking bitch!" Hutch yelled, after the doctor revealed the test results.

"Mr Hutchinson please" implored the doctor.

Hutch was seething. He was shaking his head in disbelief, "There's no mistake?" he asked

"I'm afraid not Mr Hutchinson. From the results of your test, we have established that Carla can not be your child. I'm sorry. Am I to assume, from your reaction, you didn't know?"

"How would I fucking know?!" Hutch snapped "I'm sorry" he said, calmer, "No you assumed correctly. I didn't know. If you'll excuse me Dr Case, I think I need to speak with my wife."

Carla had taken a turn for the worse and Kirsty had chosen to stay with her whilst Hutch had gone, with the doctor, to hear the results. Carla had a rare blood disorder and neither Hutch or Kirsty were a match for a transfusion. In taking blood tests, the doctors had revealed that Hutch could not be Carla's biological father.

Hutch walked into the special care unit. Carla was asleep. Kirsty was sitting beside her crib, stoking her hand.

"Hey baby" she smiled, as she saw Hutch walk in. "She's sleeping."

"We need to talk" Hutch replied.

"What did the doctor say, is it serious? Oh my god, Ken what's wrong, what's wrong with her?"

"Not here" Hutch said firmly. He walked outside, Kirsty followed.

"so" he began "just who is that baby's father?"

Straight to the point. Hutch was angry. He thought about all he had given up. He thought about his wedding night and how he had only stayed because Kirsty was pregnant.

"Ken?"

"Don't fucking Ken me, Kirsty! Who's fucking kid is she?"

"Baby please" She made to reach for him and received a full Hutchinson stare. Hutch raised his finger. She backed off. He had never hit a woman, but he damned well wanted to now.

"Whose!" he snapped.

"I don't know!" she cried, "I don't know. Does it matter? She loves you, I love you."

"Love! Love! This isn't fucking love!"

"Ken what did Dr Case say about Carla?"

"Go fucking ask him yourself!"

"Ken please"

"It's over. I'm outta here Kirsty. You don't want me, you want a father for your kid, and I certainly don't fucking want you! I never did!" and with that statement he turned on his heel and left.

Starsky sat with Sean until the doctors asked him to leave. Captain Dobey walked with Starsky back outside. Another officer had brought the torino to the hospital. "Starsky, are you okay son?" Dobey asked, as Starsky made to get into the car.

"I'm fine Captain" he smiled. "I guess, in a way, I always knew it would end like this. I just didn't figure it would be so soon. I loved him you know." Dobey nodded. "I didn't know it. Not really, not until today."

"What are you going to do now?" Dobey asked, "Do you need to take some time?" he continued, sympathetically.

"No I'm fine" Acceptance, it's a funny thing Cap'n. I've lost so many people in my life, my Pa, my platoon, Helen, Terri, Rosie" a pause "Hutch…" Captain Dobey put his hand on Starsky's shoulder, letting him know he understood. "I'm getting used to it. At the moment it feels numb, unfinished, there were so many things I wish I'd said. I'll always regret that." Starsky shook his head. "At least we got 'em this time" he smiled. Harold Dobey agreed "That we did son. Go home and get some rest." he urged, "It's been a hellova day" he continued, as Starsky drove off.

As Hutch stormed out of the hospital he was sure he had seen the torino, gunning around the corner. Hutch made his way to his own car. I gotta see Huggy he thought I'll need a place to stay.

When he pulled up outside the Pits he was surprised to see the torino outside. That meant either one of two things, either Sean was fine and Starsky was celebrating or Sean was dead and Starsky was drowning his sorrows.

On seeing the condition of Starsky, as he entered the bar, Hutch knew Sean was dead. Starsky was perched on a bar stool, but only just. He looked as though he had aged ten years since Hutch had seen him earlier that day. Hutch approached him. "Starsk', hey buddy." he smiled.

"Hutch?" Starsky puzzled.

"Hey, you okay?" but Hutch already knew the answer. "Starsky?"

"Oh sre Im fine." Starsky didn't look fine. He was definitely on the other side of sober. "Starsk ow 'bout I get you home?" Hutch offered.

Starsky nodded and fell onto Hutch. It gave Hutch goose bumps to feel Starsky so close to him. He propped him up and practically carried him out towards the car. "We'll leave the tomato here, Okay Hug'?" Hutch shouted, over his shoulder as they were leaving. Huggy replied with a nod and a wave.

"Come on buddy, let's get you home." Hutch said as they stumbled out together.

Between Huggy's bar and Starsky's apartment, Hutch had to pull over three times to let Starsky be sick. By the time they reached their destination Starsky was looking very green, but also spent. I didn't seem there was any vomit left to expel. Hutch managed to get Starsky upstairs and onto his bed. Starsky groaned as he felt Hutch removing his sneakers. "Sshhh Starsk' it's okay buddy, just sleep now." Soothed Hutch.

Something in Starsky's brain was trying to register the voice. He knew it was familiar, soothing. He knew he could trust it. Sighing, he allowed himself to succumb to sleep.

Hutch left him and went into the kitchen. He made himself a coffee and settled on the sofa. Looking around he felt a wave of regret pour over him. The last year had been such a waste and the months leading up to it were filled with so much pain that Hutch had to choke back the sob that threatened to escape him. Instead he sat, with tears pouring down his face, silently weeping, whilst is friend slept in the other room.

At 2am Hutch woke with a start. Starsky was screaming. He ran into his bedroom and pulled Starsky close. Cradling him into his arms, Hutch began to stroke Starsky's hair. "It's okay Starsk', it's okay." he whispered. He inhaled deeply, breathing in the scent of his friend, this man he had loved for so many years. "Hutch?" it was a question.

"Yeah Starsky, it's me." he replied and then sheepishly he said, "How you doing buddy?"

"Hutch, what are you doing here?" Starsky turned to face him. "Sean?" he questioned, his eyes searching Hutch's face for answers.

"You were drunk Starsky. You remember, at Huggy's. I brought you home. Just wanted to make sure you were okay." Hutch explained.

Starsky closed his eyes and nodded his head, then quietly he said, "Sean's dead."

"I know" replied Hutch, "I'm sorry."

"'s okay. I knew it woud happen, sooner or later. I guess we had our time. I loved him Hutch but I don't think I was ever gonna fool myself that it would last." No regrets, just acknowledgment.

Hutch nodded "And now, what you gonna do now?"

"Now I'm gonna sleep and tomorrow I'll be back on the streets with whoever Dobey assigns with me." Starsky smiled.

"Ah buddy" Hutch paused, "It might be me!"

"huh"

"I requested a transfer. Yesterday afternoon, actually. I'm coming back to Bay City."

"How, why, Hutch what's going on?" Starsky was confused.

"Kirtsy and I, it's over. Turns out she was nothing but a two bit whore after all."

Starsky had never heard Hutch talk about any woman that way. He was taken back. Now it was his turn to soothe. "What happened?"

Hutch laughed uncomfortably, "It turns out the kid wasn't even mine." he grinned, but it hurt and Starsky saw it. "Oh Babe, I'm sorry." he stroked Hutch's face.

Hutch closed his eyes and allowed himself to savour the moment. He felt Starsky's fingers trail over his face, following the curve of his lips. Hutch opened his mouth. Starsky brushed the inside of his lips. Hutch licked Starsky's fingertips. He opened his eyes. "Starsk'?"

"Hutch I've missed you babe, what we talked about that day……." but Starsky never finished. Hutch's mouth covered his own, devouring him, drinking him. His hands began to wander. Hutch's fingers were running through his hair. Starsky threw his head back and Hutch bit into his neck hard. The pain sent a surge of ecstasy through Starsky. He ripped Hutch's shirt off and began to suck at his nipple. Hutch moaned and struggled to remove his pants. Starsky began licking his stomach , working his way lower, lower. Hutch removed his clothes. Starsky nuzzled into Hutch's pubic hair - drowning in the smell of him. "Oh babe" he sighed as he breathed in Hutch's heat.

"Starsky" Hutch begged "Starsky."

Starsky's mouth closed down over the head of Hutch's cock and Hutch thought he would die, "Oh fuck! Oh fuck!" he shouted "Starsky!"

Starsky's tongue teased the head of Hutch's hard on. He lapped at the pleasure that was escaping him.

Starsky removed his own clothes, but all the while continued to pleasure Hutch. He positioned himself over Hutch. His balls were jangling above Hutch's face. "Oh fuck, oh fuck" he stretched his neck up, desperate to taste Starsky for the first time. He flicked his tongue out and managed to lick Starsky's ball sack. Starsky dropped his hips so his genitals were on Hutch's face. Hutch devoured him. He had wanted this moment for so long. He licked, he sucked, he chewed. Starsky was groaning with pleasure and was sucking Hutch harder and harder.

Suddenly he stopped, he raised his head, "Hutch, you ever been with a man before?" he asked gently. Starsky rolled off Hutch. "Hutch I don't want to hurt you. You wanna slow down?"

"Slow down! Slow down! Are you fucking kidding me?! Starsky I don't care if you split me in half. I want you. I want to feel you inside me!"

Starsky laughed. "It feels right doesn't it?"

Hutch nodded and smiled. "Ah I, I…." Hutch faltered.

"It's okay. Here." Starsky lay Hutch on his stomach. He couldn't resist kissing his butt. "Hey!" Hutch laughed.

"Sorry Baby Blue, but you got a beautiful ass!" He placed his hands under Hutch's hips and pulled upwards. Hutch made to get on his knees but Starsky eased him back down. "Slowly Hutch. Let's take it slow babe, trust me." he said gently. "I want you to enjoy this."

Starsky positioned himself behind Hutch. He started with both his hands just behind Hutch's knees. He ran his hands up the inside of Hutch's thighs, closer, closer to their final destination. He kissed the bottom of Hutch's back, trailing his tongue down, he ran it down Hutch's crack and found Hutch's opening. He flicked his tongue all around it and began prodding. Hutch automatically parted his legs and raised his hips. Starsky lay on him, his face close to Hutch's ear, "Not yet Babe, not yet" he whispered. Hutch reached back, he wanted to touch Starsky but Starsky knocked his hand away, "You're mine now Hutch. I'm gonna fuck you like you never been fucked before!"

Starsky's left hand found Hutch's hole. He slid one finger in. Hutch tensed and sucked in a breath. "Fuck! That hurts!" he cried.

Starsky jammed another finger in. "I'll fuck you my way!" he growled, "He jammed a third finger in and the pain turned to pleasure, he felt Hutch tighten. Hutch pushed back, to force him in deeper. Urgently he replaced his hand with his cock, "Aaaahhhhhh" Hutch screamed as Starsky entered him. For a moment Starsky wanted to stop, afraid he had really hurt Hutch, but concern was soon replaced with lust and he pushed harder. Grabbing Hutch under his hips he pulled him onto him. Starsky's pelvis was on Hutch's butt. Starsky jammed in hard. Hutch felt his insides were on fire and yet he pushed back harder. "Oh fuck, fuck you Starsky, you bastard!" he swore, as Starsky continued to ride him hard. He felt Starsky biting his back. The pain, the pleasure, the two began to meld, until Hutch couldn't tell one from another, he only knew he didn't want it to end. He felt Starsky grab his hair and force his head back. Starsky was biting, sucking, licking his throat. All Hutch could do was moan. Starsky let go of his hair and grabbed his balls. He began moulding them, firmly. "Starsky" Hutch begged.

"I told you Hutchinson, my way!" And he pulled Hutch's balls again.

Hutch cried out and as he did he felt himself cum all over Starsky's hand. As soon as he was spent he felt Starsky shoot his load into him. "Oh my god!" Hutch screamed and then began to cry. Starsky rolled off him. "Hutch?" all the aggression was gone from his voice. "Hutch, you okay?"

Hutch cried. He was more than okay. He had been fucked until he thought his head would explode. It was the best fuck he had ever experienced. He was overwhelmed.

"Starsk, Starsky, I- I" he tried to speak, but couldn't and continued to cry.

"Hutch I'm sorry. I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" Starsky was really concerned, "Hutch please" Hutch looked at Starsky tears streaming down his face. He couldn't speak but shook his head. He wanted to re-assure Starsky that he was fine. "I'm fine" he eventually managed to whisper.

He saw Starsky visibly sigh with relief. Hutch lent over and kissed him. "I love you Babe." he said tenderly. Starsky smiled "I love you too Hutch."