This side story is for all you smokers out there! Or if ya not then its for all you who appreciate humor as much as we do. Let me first apologize for this crappy story cause I don't think I will remember this tomorrow.
Bulma was getting rather irritated, she looked over at her son from the future playing with a video game and then directly across the room at Vegeta who was watching TV. She had been sitting at the table watching her son over his shoulder and holding her sleeping baby thinking to her self. This thought had been crammed into her head sense Mirai Trunks had agreed to stay with them after much nagging (all by Bulma) and no help from anyone (namingly Vegeta) he had finally had to admit defeat and go to the one place he did not want to be…mom's house! It wasn't that he didn't like his parents; he liked the very much as long as they were separate.
But together…..on more then one occasion he was glad that growing up, only one of his parents where alive. In fact he kept getting that same thought the more he was around them. Bulma was the big reason why Mirai was afraid to argue. Every argue he ever got into with her turned extremely personal and now he was starting to understand why.
Vegeta had noticed this himself. When he and Bulma argue he was usually seen cringing or trying to seem very small like he did NOT want the fight to turn on him. Vegeta figured that the only reason he stood in one place was because he was scared to move and be noticed. He actually felt a little bad for the poor time traveler that didn't want to be there in the first place. He usually just left Mirai alone because he figured, remembering being a teenager himself, that Mirai would WANT to be left alone.
Bulma did not interpret it that way. She figured that Mirai WANTED to be with his father and spend some time with him but he was just being an ass about it. Her patience was wearing thin. At this point all it took was for one more lack of acknowledgment between the two and she was going to freak. She pushed the thought into the back of her mind feeling guilty like she had a thousand times and decided to go to bed. The next morning was not much better.
Mirai, still stuck on the same video game, stalked out of the gravity room and into the house right passed his mother. Vegeta came behind, nodded to Bulma, then stalked into a different direction not giving Mirai a second glance. It wouldn't matter anyway because Mirai had obviously sold his soul to the video game (much like all of you reading this have sold your souls to fanfiction! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT….wait…oops!) he wouldn't have noticed anyway. She was getting tired of the two totally ignoring each other. As each passing day being the same routine of; staying away from each other, training, eating, staying away from each other, and sleeping, she was growing very tired of it.
How could they possibly avoid each other like that all the time when the live in the same house. She and Yamcha couldn't do it when they finally broke up. It took kicking him out for them to avoid each other. Well Bulma was not going to have either of them leaving, so she decided on the only thing there can be to fix a problem like this.
………….at the dinner table that night………
Bulma stood up violently and slammed her hands on the table. "YOU TWO WILL NOT BE EATING UNTIL YOU SPEND SOME QUALITY TIME TOGETHER TONIGHT!" Vegeta stood up in fear ready to defend himself from certain death while Mirai was busy hiding under the table hoping dad will protect him the from ferocious mother.
"Bulma," said Vegeta calmly, "did you take your pills for your bipolar disorder today honey?"
"YES I TOOK THEM!"
"Good now remember what your doctor said, deep, slow breaths in and out. Do you need a paper bag Bulma?"
"NO I DON'T NEED A PAPER BAG I NEED YOU TO SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR SON!"
"And if we agree to do that will you breath in a paper bag for me? And remember to chant?"
'YES IF YOU TWO WILL JUST GET OUT OF MY SIGHT TOGETHER!"
"We sure will if you just sit down and put yourself in a happy place for me." Bulma reluctantly sat down and closed her eyes pulling a paper bag from under the table and taking slow breaths.
"Oh, and you guys," she said with an evil smile, "to make sure you two are hanging out for the rest of the night, I have chichi and her frying pan of doooooooooom following you." Mirai and Vegeta looked at each other.
"I pick the place," he said quickly raising his hand.
"DAMMIT!!!" Trunks quickly ran out the door more then happy to please his angered mother. Vegeta followed after ready to kick his ass for abandoning him there with his beloved. Bulma waited for the door to slam shut and chuckled to herself. She got out the walky-talky.
"Hidden dragon this is crouching tiger, repeat crouching tiger, they are on the move, over."
"Bulma if the names are nessisary why did you pick movie title names?"
"I'm sorry I do not know who you are looking for, over." On the other end Chichi gave a big sigh remembering what her bipolar therapist said, happy place, deep, calming breaths.
"Crouching tiger, why the fuck do we have a movie title for names!"
"Well hidden dragon," she said in a lazy southern voice, "you did not provide or show INTEREST in providing the names. Now I sug-GEST you be a team player on this one." Chichi just shook her head and watched the two run away in fear.
"Do you spot them," asked Bulma in her radio voice.
"What?"
"Do you SPOT the target hidden dragon?"
"Yes, crouching pain in my ass, I spot them."
"Now you don't NEED to get an attitude with me." Chichi knew this was going to be a very long and stressful night.
………………………………………………….
Trunks and Vegeta quickly rounded the corner. "Good lord," said Vegeta, "how in hells name does that blasted child sleep through that?"
"Probably use to it by now," mumbled Trunks. They walked silently down the block for over an hour. They passed by what looked to be a pretty awesome party. "Hey let's go their," said Trunks pointing at the party.
"Nuh-uh, no way in Hell, find somewhere else. A guy just jumped off the roof with a paper bag held over his head, no way!"
"Exaclty! Dad, a guy just jumped off a roof with a paper bag in his head! Dad he probably thought he knew how to fly! Let's go!"
"We are not going in there so you can teach them to fly, it will only make it worse!"
"I don't wanna teach them, dad, I want to watch them!" Vegeta was about to argue this until he stopped to think about it. Watch teens on drugs probably his sons age jumping off a roof? That actually sounded pretty funny to him. Vegeta smirked at his son and started into the party. Who knew this kid knew how to have a good time! Vegeta walked into the house and was offered beers and lays left and right. Women loved him when he walked in in his dark blue baggy jeans and Ozzy Osborn teeshirt that he usually just wore so he would look earthling enough not to start a riot and still have room to move. Who knew he was such a fashionist!
(Buy your earthling cloths at a wal mart or target near you!)
Mirai was taking beers and thinking of taking offers when he walked in. His black somewhat baggy pants, with a white button up and a black jacket with the sleeves rolled out, and a black pinstripe fedora he to was a hit of the party just walking in. Vegeta finally broke and took a beer and decided he can't walk and drink at the same time. He is crazy about his well being you know. Soon he broke for another, then another and another, until he was actually MINGLING with people.
…………………………….
Chichi watched from a far off bush. She picked up the walky talky. "Target on sight," she said, "they are going to what looks like a frat party, over."
"FRAT PARTY," shouted Bulma from the other end, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING AT A FRAT PARTY!"
"Correction, teenagers juts walked in."
"TEENAGERS!"
"Apparently the neighbors are joining. They look to be about our age, is that the mayor going in there," said Chichi with her voice turning from undercover to very curious.
"WHAT," shouted Bulma.
……………………………………………
Apparently it was an open BYOB cause there were people there from high school to already college graduates. Even a few people Vegeta's age. But that was not what they had come for, Vegeta just realized this after the 15th beer and 119th person he had talked to that night, so he grabbed Mirai and the two headed up to the roof.
Unfortunately an ambulance finally showed up and so did the police.
………………………………………..
"Crouching Tigar! There are people taking pills and jumping off the roof. Like 8 people have jumped using a paper bag for what looks to be a parichuet."
"Please, Chichi, I can't take anymore of this. What the hell was I thinking putting those to together, who knew they could be such morons!"
"I'm bailing, Crouching Tigar, the police have arrived, I repeat, the police have arrived!"
…………………………………………..
People left and right where running away, jumping out of windows, out of doors, freaking out and screaming, a couple older ones laughing. Vegeta was at a sudden loss of what was going on. He could legally drink.
"Dad come on," said Mirai ready to go and already almost out of breath."
"Is that weed I smell on you (I'm going to trade mark this so the rest of you can't have Trunks on weed!)"
"NO," said Trunks, not really fooling Vegeta no matter how drunk he was, "NO, no…..a little bit." Mirai started laughing at himself. Vegeta shoved the kid a bit.
"I thought that was legal in California."
"Well, not really legal but decriminalized….HEY YOU OVER THERE WATCH YOUR STEP LIKE THREE PEOPLE FELL OF THIS ROOF LIKE 2 MINUTES AGO!" But the man who Mirai was yelling at who was fighting passed the roof crowed, started yelling out that police where here and jumped off the roof screaming. Mirai and Vegeta watched as he screamed until he hit the ground. Silence for a moment then they heard a small "ow" from the bottom. Mirai then grabbed his dad's shirt and started down the stares pushing passed people.
"Why the hell are we running from the police?"
"Because, that's what you are suppose to do," said Mirai stopping and looking at his dad, "when police show up everyone bails it's just how it goes."
"Oh," said Vegeta now deciding it was a good time to follow, "wow never realized they made parties where you have to freak out and run for the police if you aren't really breaking any laws. Well, you are Trunks, but I'm not." The two ran out the kitchen window and ran down the yard and jumped the fence like the rest where doing. They both ran out of the alley and to the side walk. They started walking at normal pace now so as not to seem suspicious.
…………………………………..
Chichi got back on the walky talky. Bulma didn't really want to answer but decided to anyway to find out if she needed to bale them out of jail.
"This is Crouching Tiger, over."
"Crouching Tiger, the targets are safe, I repeat, safe, they are on the move again."
Bulma thanked the gods, she would have to kill them tomorrow.
…………………………………………….
"What next," asked a very drunk Vegeta.
"Next? Next we find somewhere else to do," said Trunks with a slight slurr in his voice.
"Well I don't know, what do you want to do?"
"Well I guess we could go get breakfast," said Trunks, "it is 3am now I think."
"3am? What are you talking about 3am?"
"Dad, we were at that party all night."
"All night?"
"Yea, man, all night."
"Shit, and we, we, we never hung out the whole time, we just watched people jump off the roof together."
"hehehehe ya that was funny man."
"Yea…hey lets go do something really stupid!"
"Like what," asked Mirai with fascination in his voice.
"Let's go fuck with people at wal mart!"
"Yea, we can video tape it!" Vegeta laughed at his good idea and followed Mirai to the nearest walmart. Vegeta started up the camera and video taped Mirai on the Walmart intercom.
……………………..
"Um, Crouching Tiger," said Chichi.
"What Hidden dragon?"
"You aren't going to believe this but…they are actually going into walmart."
It was silent on Bulma's end.
"Crouching Tiger….Crouchign Tiger?"
"You mean to tell me that all I had to do was get them to go to walmart together and they would go? You mean to tell ME that after I begged, and pleaded, and ordered, they chose now, when I don't need anything, to go to WALMART!"
"Bulma, calm down, I don't think they are shopping."
"What else would they do at walmart!?"
"I don't know but I will let you know."
…………………………………………….
"Excuse me walmart shoppers but there is a special on condoms in isle 12." Vegeta kept the camera on Mirai.
"So tell us, what's on isle 12?"
"Frozen food section," said Mirai now laughing. Vegeta then took a recording of Mirai dressed in a bunny suit from the Halloween costume section. MIrai grabbed two hangers off of the cloths isle then went to the video game isle and played the drums on Guitar Hero World Tour. People stopped to watch left and right. Security finally walked over and asked Mirai to quit playing the drums and put the costume up. Mirai looked at the rent a cop and ran the other direction with the cop running after him.
Vegeta turned the corner and proceeded to video tap. People where laughing as they ran by and some shoppers even poked their heads out of isles to see what was going on.
………………..2 hours later after picking Mirai up from the jail house…..
Mirai passed the joint to Vegeta who took the hit like a veteran. "Man, have you ever smoked before now," asked Mirai.
"Yea," he said, "only thing that kept me from loosing my mind when I was your age."
"No kidding," said Mirai taking the joint, "where did you get it from?"
"Other planets," said Vegeta.
"Man that would be awesome, smoke weed from different planets…hold up aliens smoke weed?"
"Yea, literally the entire universe smokes. Seriously, I don't understand people trying to fight what's going to happen."
"Unless someone was murdering and shit," said Mirai.
"Well, I don't think that people would intentionally do something to harm themselves. Your life is the most valuable thing you have. Why kill it off, you should embrace it and let it be what it is, you know, life." Mirai just nodded his head in agreement.
"Man, we need to hug, like seriously, we need to," said Mirai, "that has to be the most fascinating thing you have ever said to me, I need a hug now." Vegeta laughed a bit and hugged his son. Mirai hugged him back and held on to him for one simple reason, and that reason was the same reason Mirai had for holding on to him.
"Sorry," said Vegeta finally pulling away, "it's just, well…I am just so relieved that you do not smell like sour milk on skin." Mirai laughed and so did he.
"No man I totally understand, I got a baby girl at home. Oh my god I was just so happy there wasn't food all over you. It made me especially happy that you didn't throw up on me."
"Oh, no, not till morning," joked Vegeta.
"Every time I pick that kid up he smells like sour milk."
"Yea, it's because kids drool everything out of their mouths. Ugh, it's disgusting, but they take in more then they can swallow and just let the rest fall out of their mouth."
"Or when they eat, and they have no teeth and don't chew with their mouths closed."
"Or when they piss on you."
"Yea, or when they fuckin use you as a chew toy! Seriously, what is up with that. Little kid's got some serious shark teeth going on in his mouth, I have never in my life seen a baby with teeth that sharp. I think he is possessed or something."
"Ugh, my daughter has this scream that gets into your ears and they feel like they are about to explode."
The two sat silently and went into their own little worlds. "Hey," said Trunks, "what where we just talking about?"
Suddenly the door broke open and Bulma stood in the doorway furiously. She held a news paper in front of her face. On front page was first a picture of a bunny getting chased by the police, and next to it Mirai's lovely mug shot. Mirai pointed and laughed at it.
"Man I remember that!"
"You should," fumed Bulma, "that is your face right next to the running rabbit!"
"Bulma, Bulma! Say that five times fast," said Vegeta, "please say that five times fast I dare you." Bulma rolled her eyes.
"You know, if I didn't have Chichi following you two around, I would have stuck my hand so far down your throat, you would pass out until next week!" With that said she left the room slamming the door behind her leaving Mirai and Vegeta speechless.
"Dude, I just realized," said Trunks.
"Realized what," asked Vegeta.
"We gotta put those shots on youtube!"
……………………………………
There you go. I would be updating on one of my others stories but this sounded good to.