Summary: Post DD drabble. The Doctor thinks about emotions.

Gravity


'Can't you come through properly?'

'The whole thing would fracture, two universes would collapse'

'So?'

It was like the first time someone tells you as a child that the world is spinning. That as you stand, the world is turning on an axis, that we are upside down as we spin through space, following other planets- other galaxies. Like when you lay in the grass staring at the sky above you until your head hurts with thinking and your eyes hurt from the sun. Yet you still can't understand why you don't fall. The physics of it can be understood – but the simplicity cannot it.

These things can be explained with science and maths, even with prolonged thought the turning of the earth can be broken down and understood.

What the Doctor couldn't understand was emotion. It couldn't be broken down or analysed or split into atoms and facts until the bare truths can be spilt out. Nor could he understand love – the way it grew upon him, worked through his frozen hearts and into his soul. He couldn't understand how he could look upon the face of a simple human and feel such happiness surge through him.

Lastly he could not understand actions. The way he could, without a thought press his lips against Rose's or dance with her in the darkest hours of the morning, or even the way he could just slid his hand within hers and know everything would be alright.

And as he leant against the Tardis controls he knew there was only one person who could possibly explain this to him – through words, through a smile, even a glance, through just a touch of a hand he could understand it all. But the person who could do that was gone – she was trapped worlds away from him.

Confusion was strange for the Doctor, an emotion that rarely touched upon his mind, but now it wrecked him – he couldn't understand why he didn't save her.

Glancing down at the Earth spinning below him he knew the equations for its movement, but looking at the photo that he kept in his pocket, pressed against his heart, he didn't know the equation for love or for sorrow, not even for grief. And as he pressed the Tardis controls, he began a search for these answers. A search that would take him through space, through time, through death and through universes – so that he could once again lie in the arms of a woman. The arms of the only woman in the world who could answer his never ceasing curiosity. He would search until he had found his Rose…his gravity.

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