Title: Goodnight
Author: Ayeesha
Timeline: Season one of Desperate Housewives after Episode 15 'Impossible'
Pairing: Mike/Susan
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Mike and Susan and any others mentioned throughout this fic. They are the property of ABC and Touchstone Television. This fic was written for entertainment purposes.
Summary: She calls him at night. When she is feeling alone.
Chapter 1: Susan's POVI lay in the soft bed idly staring at the ceiling. I thought about him again today. I seem to be doing it a lot lately. It's hard staying strong when every little thing reminds me of Mike. My mind wanders towards the image of his perfect face. Its little things like washing the car that reminds me of him.
I look at the clock. It's 2.30am. I gaze at the walls unable to sleep yet again. The memories race through my head. I have to stop this but I know I can't. It's been nearly a month since that day. The day my whole world crashed around me. The day my heart shattered into a million pieces.
I close my eyes and I can see Mike walking away from my life. I miss having him around, his strong caring arms wrapped around my body. I know I should give up, try to move on but each time I even contemplate it I know I am not strong enough. I can't cut him out of my life to say the words would ultimately be the end. What's to stop him from walking out of my life? To never look back?
Before my brain even has a chance to think my hand instinctively reaches for the phone sat atop of my beside cabinet. I hold it in my hands fear making me clench it tightly, as if my life depends on it. It's my connection to Mike. I know I shouldn't call him; it's the middle of the night for God's sake. Why would he want to hear from me anyway?
My heart wins as always. Damn it for being so weak. My slender fingers press the numbered digits on the phone, the silence is deafening and I suddenly feel claustrophobic in my own bedroom. The phone rings, its shrill noise filling the muteness of the room. I hold it firmly to my ear as if that would get me closer to Mike in some way. As the phone continues its assault on my ears, my heart quickens beating faster and faster each second. What if Mike's not alone and he has someone with him in his bed. Painful images run though my mind of Mike and a blond-haired woman asleep in each other's embrace. The phone slips out of my fingers dropping onto my lap gently. I'm about to hang up when I hear his voice.
"Hello," he answers sleepily. I hold my breath as his voice fills my surroundings. It's been so long since I had the pleasure of listening to his sexy smooth voice. Maybe if I don't say anything he will hang up. Then I remember Mike has caller ID. I inwardly curse my stupidity and pick up the phone cautiously as if it can strike out at me anytime. Mike continues talking down the phone; I recognize his voice he is getting impatient.
"Mike," I whisper before he has a chance to hang up. The dreaded silence emerges between us yet again. I berate myself knowing that this was going to be a bad idea. He is annoyed with me. I'm just about to hand up when he speaks.
"Susan," he asks confused and surprised at the same time.
"Yeah, unless you have got some other woman calling you at odd times of the night," I laugh forcibly trying to lighten the mood and get rid of my anxieties.
"Are you okay?" he asks concerned.
"Err yeah, I kinda dialled your number by mistake," I reply trying to come up with an excuse. I can hear him moving around on his bed as he tries to get himself sat up in a comfortable position. I listen carefully to his body movements.
"You dialled the wrong number at 2.40am?" he asks with amusement.
"Yes," I bite back defending myself. I can just see him now grinning as he holds the phone to his ear. His naked chest illuminated by the light of his lamp. I shake my head trying to get rid of the images of Mike.
"Susan seriously. What's wrong?" I hear him say.
"Everything," I sigh running a hand through my hair. I wonder what Mike is thinking. Is he as nervous as me? "How much time have you got?" I ask.
"All the time in the world," he replies. Why is his voice so soothing and gentle. His voice caresses like a soft breeze against my tortured heart.
"Mike, I'm scared," I begin. Where did that come from? Great now he's going to think I'm such a loser.
His voice takes on a protective tone, "Why Susan what happened?" he asks.
I reassure him that nothing happened and I can hear him sigh with relief.
"I'm scared because I don't want to end up alone," I whisper slowly but Mike understands exactly what I mean. I can hear his breath down the phone. I can imagine him, now forehead deep in concentration as he tries to think of what to do. I miss him so much and his little quirks. I yearn to put the phone down and run outside across to him. His voice breaks my thoughts.
"Susan, you won't end up alone," he responds. I start to feel myself tear up knowing he is wrong.
"How do you know that Mike?" I ask miserably. I know I am going to start to cry any minute.
"I know, Susan you are too beautiful to end up alone," he whispers gently.
"No I'm not, I ruin everything," I cry clenching the phone.
Mike tells me this is not true that I am the most generous person he knows but I know this cannot be true. If I am what he says how come nothing ever works out. My ex- husband Karl cheated on me and I lost Mike, the only person who I have loved completely and who loved me back.
"I…I don't know why I can't be happy," I ask Mike hoping he'll say something but all I hear is silence on the other side. I wonder if he has hung up but I hear him moving around again.
"Susan, the time I was with you was the best of my life," he confesses. That was unexpected. I don't know what to do or how to respond to this. I don't expect to start crying but in the end slow wet tears run down my cheek. Mike must have heard me crying because he apologizes "I'm sorry Susan I didn't mean to make you cry," His voice is gentle and compassionate.
"I can't stop. I try so much but I can't Mike," I weep down the phone. Why did we have to give up on the relationship? Mike had tried to explain but I didn't want to give a chance. I just let him walk away. I regret it so much.
"I miss you…everyday," I confess. Mike sucks in a deep breath and I wait patiently for his answer and my heart fills with more anguish and pain as I hear his response, "I miss you too, more than you know."
"I don't want to be so weak," I say confiding in him.
"Having feelings for someone is not being weak Susan," he replies. I know my feelings for Mike will last for as long as I live. Would he feel the same? I brush away the soft tear rolling down my cheek. Mike used to do that every time I was upset he could always tell when I had been crying and would take me in his lap and gently use his thumb to wipe away the tears.
"Remember when you used to say I shouldn't cry," I ask him.
"I do. I didn't want to see your beautiful face covered in pain," he replies gently.
I bask in his soothing voice gently moving my head onto the soft pillow beneath. I close my eyes remembering the nights Mike and I shared in this bed. The nights where he would hold me after we made love. I felt safe in his arms and we would often talk for hours about the future. Mike had told me he wanted children one day. At first I was horrified at the prospect at becoming a mom again but the more time I spent with Mike the more I wanted to give him a child. I knew that he would be a devoted dad and I wanted him to have the thing his heart desired. We talked about it one night, I told him I changed my mind and wanted a child with him. Mike had a smile across his face and was elated that I would do that for him. A blush crept across my face as I remembered that night Mike insisted we make love over and over for practice. Although I wasn't complaining.
"The sheets still smell of you…. and I can't sleep because… " I stop myself from any further embarrassment. Why did I say that? I sigh and curse myself inwardly.
"Me too, I can't sleep knowing you aren't going to be here," he whispers.
"Mike…do you think…err… we can ever move on," I ask in desperation.
"I don't know," he replies. His voice changing into one of hurt and sadness.
"Maybe one day…we can be friends," I lie. I don't want to be his friend. I want to be his lover. I want to be with this man every day of my life. I know he won't feel the same though and all I can do is let go.
"Susan…I."
"It's late. I better let you go," I say cutting him off. I know I have to hang up now before I break apart and beg him to come over, "Goodnight Mike."
"Goodnight Susan". I hear the dial tone resounding in my ear. I place the phone back and settle myself under the covers. I look to my bedroom ceiling as if they hold the answer to my problems.
"Goodnight Mike," I whisper closing my eyes for an unsettling sleep.
Did you like? Reviews are appreciated. Mike's POV will be up soon. Also I haven't forgotten about 'Race Against Time'. Update for that by the end of the week.