Author's Note: So back when I advertised this at the end of Kidnappings vanitas1776said that I should release a lemon and a non-lemon version of this because apparently they are getting rid of all the fanfictions with too much violence or sexual stuff. Which I remembered everyday while writing it and then completely forgot on the day I posted it. It's not like there is going to be lemons in every chapter but I figured better safe than sorry. So read this here if you don't like lemons.

This was originally supposed to be Hamazura/ITEM but then I found out that Kinuhata was only twelve. For some reason I always thought that she was at least 14. And since I didn't want to write a 16 year old in a relationship with a 12 year old...

I would also like to state that Accelerator/Last Order won't be happening. Accelerator is a father figure, and like with Hamazura/Kinuhata there is just too much of an age difference.

Anyways enjoy the chapter!

"So how does it work?"

"Well it's not really like norma-"

"I know the theory. I mean how does it mesh everyone together? Take relationships for example, what if two people like the same person? What happens?"

"It just takes the brute force option. They both get to be with the person they love. The... 'place'... eliminates jealousy."

"Damn. Lucky bastard. I'd like to go in there with a few hot girls and... do various things, if you know what I mean"

"Idiot. It's got to be mutual attraction, not just you finding them hot. Besides you know the price. NOTHING is worth that."

"Sheesh it was a joke, calm down."

* X *

Touma walked into his kitchen for breakfast, smiling to see it was as lively as ever. The various members of his harem were sitting around the table eating away at the food that had been prepared by his maid Kumokawa Maria. Index as always was plowing into the food with an almost unholy passion likely not even noticing him, Maria, and Orsola enter the room. Itsuwa was chatting with her lightly while eating her own food. Kanzaki Koari wasn't here right now having rushed out early for work, which was a rarity for her considering the very few times she got called out to work anymore. Orsola Aquinas who had just walked into the room with Touma sat down on a chair with food already in front of it. Touma however was unable to join her, having been ambushed almost right after walking into the room by Misaka Mikoto who was wearing her Tokiwadai uniform.

She pulled his head down and gave him a morning kiss on the lips. To Touma she tasted like syrup. "Good morning." She said.

His heart brightened at the sight of her smile and he kissed her back. "Good morning." He replied.

"Do you want to go to dinner with me? And then watch a movie?" She asked him. He noted with amusement that she was still nervous to ask him on a simple date despite having been together with him for as long as he could remember.

"Of course Mikoto." He said with a smile, already looking forward to it.

"Idiot... don't smile like that." She said with a blush. "Have a nice day." She said, giving him a quick peck on the lips before walking out the door. He waved at her as she left and then walked to the table.

"Ah," He said. "I forgot to ask what movie..." He hoped he wasn't roped into watching another kiddy movie.

"Master, please enjoy." Kumokawa said as she placed a plate of food down on the table before him. She was wearing a maid uniform, but it was more like the kind that girls wore to hand out flyers then anything an actual maid would wear. It was bright yellow, and had a name-tag in the shape of a rabbit on it's short skirt. However uniform aside she was a very competent maid, taking care of most of the housework. She got some help from Itsuwa and Orsola, who didn't have jobs, and Kanzaki on the days she didn't have to work, but still she was the one who worked constantly.

"Thank you Maria." He told her.

"It is my duty to you Master." She told him with a wide smile. "I am after all your personal maid." She gave a bow of deference as she spoke, and he couldn't help but think of what he would do without her. The thought just seemed ridiculous. How could he ever have lived without Kumokawa? Her beautiful smile, her unbending support, her cheerful personality? No he loved her too much to even consider her not being around.

"Ah, Touma can I have some of that food?" Index asked. She had finished the mountain of food in front of her, and judging by Itsuwa's look of confusion some of hers as well.

"No!" He yelled back at her "Index! Why do you just laze around the house all day! It's time for you to take charge of your own destiny! Take an example from Kumokawa and look after yourself!"

"Waah, Why is Touma suddenly so mean!? Besides how am I supposed to compete with a maid!" She yelled back.

"You don't need to compete with her! Look at Itsuwa there! She helps around the house without being a maid! Take an example from this normal human who perseveres through hard work!" He yelled. Itsuwa blushed at his complement as modest as ever.

"No!" Index yelled back."How come Touma doesn't do any housework, but is yelling at me!"

"I go to school!" He yelled back at her. She had hit a sore spot there. He would have loved to help out, but Kumokawa always said that it was absurd for the master to do housework. He tried to argue that he was only her master, not the other girl's, but she wouldn't listen. Since she was the one who organized the housework all he could do was sneak in a bit of cleaning when she wasn't looking. It wasn't nearly as much as he'd like to help.

"I don't care!" She yelled. Her mouth opened to reveal her tiny fangs and he instantly froze on the spot.

"Ah... wait Index! Let's just calmly talk this over!" He yelled, panicked.

"Touma's a hypocrite!" She yelled. The next second she was barreling over the table at him and then biting him.

"Such misfortune!" He yelled.

"Ah, Master!" Kumokawa yelled. She grabbed Index and began pulling.

"Get off, get off!" He yelled. "This Kamijou is very sorry Index! I promise to never question your no good laziness again!"

"You've made it even worse!" She yelled, her voice coming out mumbled because she didn't actually stop biting him to say it.

"Damn it, why is this happening when Kaori isn't here!" He yelled. Kanzaki was the only person in his harem who had the physical body strength to pull Index off Touma whenever she attacked him.

"Touma, you meanie!"

"How can you yell that with no shame while you're attacking me!" Itsuwa and Orsola had now joined Kumokawa in a desperate attempt to pull Index off of him. However Index's jaws were practically made of iron.

"Touma started it!"

"Such Misfortune!"

* X *

Accelerator walked into the living room to be tackled by a flying hug from Last Order. "'Daddy!', yells Misaka as Misaka is excited." She yelled. "'You're up!' yells Misaka as Misaka states the obvious."

"Damn right you shitty brat." He said. Then he lightly chopped her on the head with his hand.

"'Ow!', yells Misaka as Misaka exaggerates the pain for effect!"

"Don't wake us up an hour before we need to be up next time." He told her in a stern voice.

"'But Misaka couldn't get back to sleep', cries Misaka as Misaka attempts to give you 'puppy dog' eyes to get you to forgive her."

Accelerator looked away from her in a desperate attempt to resist her stare. It was no use. He could practically feel the innocence of her stare in his very bones. "Tch," He said. "Just don't do it again!"

"'Okay!', promises Misaka as Misaka is happy having got away from discipline." Last Order said before running a circle around him and then into the living room. "'Daddy are you going to make breakfast now?' inquires Misaka as Misaka points out her hunger."

"Fine," He grumbled at her and walked into the kitchen ignoring her cheer. There he set about making breakfast for four. A person who had known Accelerator back when the Sister's experiment was still going on wouldn't be able to believe their eyes as they watched him now. The former serial killer worked in the kitchen like he was born to it; creating fried eggs, french toast, pancakes, sausages, and bacon with quick precise movements. He was making a breakfast fit for a king with the ease that would make professional cooks jealous.

"Mmmm that smells delicious." A voice said, pulling Accelerator's attention away from the kitchen. It was Musujime Awaki[1], one of his wives. She was wearing her customary outfit; a short uniform skirt, bandages around her breasts, and a jacket that she wore around her like a cape. "Shouldn't the wife be the one whose good at cooking Tou-san[2]?" She teased.

"Shut up." He told her as he turned back to the kitchen. "It's not my fault you have no idea how to cook."

"I'm learning." She said defensively.

He snorted as he thought back to their last lesson. He wasn't sure how but she had managed to set the oven on fire, knock all of the eggs onto the floor, and break half of their appliances in the two minutes he took to go to the bathroom. Then when he ate some of her food in an effort to cheer her up he spent the rest of the night in front of the toilet throwing up. He'd hated her for it at the time, but now it was just a funny memory.

"Oh?" She asked with a mischievous smile."Are you laughing at me?" In one quick motion she teleported the spatula in his hands onto the counter and pinned him against the wall.

For a second all he could think of was the closeness of her, and then the two of them were kissing with a fiery passion. Most married people started kissing when they were in a romantic mood. Accelerator and his wives did that too, they just also started kissing whenever they were fighting. It wasn't the perfect system, but it worked.

"'Ew!' yells Misaka as Misaka is disgusted." Last Order said, interrupting them before it could lead to anything. Which was probably for the best considering they were in the kitchen around still cooking food. With a slight look of embarrassment Accelerator went back to cooking dinner, and Musujime walked over to Last Order.

"Come on," Musujime said as she grabbed Last Order's hand. "Lets go play a game and leave Tou-san to cook." She like Accelerator used a much lighter tone when talking to Last Order then they did to other people.

"'Okay.' says Misaka as Misaka runs to the living room." Last Order said. The two of them retreated to the living room.

For a few precious minutes Accelerator listened to the excited cries of Last Order as she and Musujime played their game. There was nothing a father like to hear more then the sound of his daughter enjoying herself. For a few precious moments he was peacefully content.

Then a spark of electricity shot out at the electric stove, and it turned to full heat. He barely managed to pull the bacon away before it burnt to a crisp. "WORST!" He yelled, not even needing to turn to see who the perpetrator was.

Standing beside him was Misaka WORST, Accelerator's other wife, wearing her usual pink Ao-Dai. "Gyahahahahaha." She laughed at his panicked reaction.

Accelerator just glared at her for a second and turned the stove back down. He made a mental note to make sure that she gets the slightly burned bacon. When WORST finally stopped laughing he said "Get out."

"Ah, Tou-san is so cruel." She sighed. "Not even calling Misaka Kaa-san, are you planning on divorcing Misaka?"

"Shut up." He told her. He turned back to cooking, doing his best to ignore her. Which failed when she walked across the room to stand directly in front of him, in a way that would have made him flinch just by instinct if they hadn't been married for so long.

"Ah, is Tou-san really that mad at Misaka?" She said in a quiet voice. As she spoke she puckered her lips and moved closer and closer to him. "Here Misaka will make it up to you..." By this point he could feel her breath as her lips moved even closer to his. He gave in, and planted one soft kiss on her lips.

Then he felt plastic and jumped backwards as his mouth lit on fire. Or at least felt like it lit on fire anyways. He dived for the sink and spent the next two minutes drinking gallons of water straight out of the faucet. The whole time WORST laughed like she was a evil mastermind from some cheesy movie. "What the hell was that!" He yelled when he finally pulled his head up from the sink.

"Hot sauce." WORST said, as he stripped two pieces of plastic from her lips, which she promptly threw out. "Misaka wrapped some plastic around her lips, then spread advanced Academy City hot sauce onto it. You were so lured into Misaka's body touching you that you didn't even noticed." She said as she threw back her head and laughed some more.

"Kaa-san." He said in a voice that he used to reserve for his enemies.

"Yes?"

"I'm going to kill you."

* X *

"So anyways then super Hamazura slipped on a banana peel and-"

"Don't make fun of me behind my back!" Hamazura yelled as he walked into ITEM's kitchen. Sitting there was Kinuhata Saiai a member of ITEM. Across from her was Fremea Seivelun, the ten year old sister of Frenda Seivelun who had been a member of ITEM until she betrayed them and was killed by Mugino. ITEM had since taken in Fremea to make up for what happened to Frenda.

"Super Hamazura is super easy to make fun of so it can't be helped." Kinuhata said. Fremea was now ignoring them in favor of eating her very sugary cereal.

"Don't say something that makes me seem pathetic so easily!"

"Shiage's good points lie elsewhere." Takitsubou, one of Hamazura's girlfriends said. As always she had a dozed look on her face as she walked over to the table to pour herself a bowl of cereal.

"Whatever." Mugino, Hamazura's other girlfriend, said in a dismissive tone. "Shiage, pour me some cereal."

"Me too." Kinuhata added.

"Why can't you get it yourself!? Also Kinuhata, were you just sitting here waiting for me to come down!?"

"Hamazura isn't super good for anything else, so it can't be helped." Kinuhata quipped.

"Is my life that meaningless!?"

"Yes."

"What did I do to deserve this!?"

"Shiage! Hurry up and pour my cereal!" Mugino yelled.

"The box is clearly right in front of you! It would take longer for me to walk over there then for me to pour it!" He yelled back at her.

In response glared at him. She raised up one of her arms and he saw a little ball of energy appear in it. "Shiage..." She said in a low threatening voice.

"Alright! Don't bring out your level five power which could kill me so easily! Have some restraint!" He yelled as he raised his hands in surrender, and rushed over to her. He poured her cereal with a defeated look on his face, as Fremea laughed at their antics. "Damnit, how long am I going to be treated like a lackey for?" He muttered as he moved on to Kinuhata.

""Forever."" Mugino and Kinuhata said heartlessly.

"My struggling is meaningless!?"

"Man she really needs to undergo some anger management..." Touma said as he stared at the bite mark that had been left on his arm by Index. He was currently walking to school, and running late thanks to the time it had taken to get Index off of him.

"Does it still hurt?" Itsuwa asked. She was walking with him to school, not because she went there but just because she enjoyed spending the time with him. Not that he was complaining, any extra time he got to spend with any other members of his harem was time well spent.

"No it's fine." He said.

"Are you sure you don't want any bandages Master?" Kumokawa asked from beside him. She had the same idea as Itsuwa had.

"No, she wouldn't bite me hard enough to break the skin." He told her with a smile. "Or at least she hasn't recently..." He muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" Itsuwa asked.

"Nothing." He said hurriedly. There was no point in worrying her over nothing after all. Then for a few seconds nobody said anything and Touma was filled with an odd sense of peace. Walking down the street in the morning, nothing to worry about in the world, two beautiful woman that he loved with a passion walking beside him solely for the pleasure of his company, in fact he couldn't remember a time in his life when he was happier then he was now.

"Ah, did something good happen?" Itsuwa asked beside him. The fact that she had noticed him growing happier when he wasn't even smiling just made him even happier. What had he ever done to deserve the love of a girl like her?

"Are you hiding something Master?" Kumokawa asked beside him. "Not even being able to tell when my Master is happy... my pride as a maid is being damaged." She said. Like always when she spoke of her pride being damaged she said it with a smile. She was firmly believed that pride was a weakness and that damaging it made her stronger.

"I'm just happy to be here." He told them simply.

Itsuwa and Kumokawa both smiled at that, and together the two of them grabbed his arms and held themselves close to him. They walked for a while like that, all three of them thinking how happy they were that their lives had brought them to this point.

When they arrived at the school's gate Itsuwa and Kumokawa stopped, forcing Touma to stop with them.

"Master..." Kumokawa said as she stared into his eyes. She raised her face and puckered up her lips. Touma taking the obvious cue leaned down to kiss her. The kiss was long, deep, and hungry. For a maid Kumokawa was a very aggressive kisser when she wanted to be, which was apparently right now. Touma lost himself in the taste of her lips for a while, until finally the two of them ran out of breath and pulled off of each other to gasp for air.

"Touma..." Itsuwa said when he was done. She was gazing deep into his eyes like Kumokawa had been doing, and he quickly leaned over to kiss her as well. Her kiss was slower than Kumokawa's had been but that didn't mean that it was awkward and unpracticed. It was just more patient and caring, like the kind that happened in fairy tales or in the climactic kisses in kids movies. Her lips were sweet, Touma noted as he did every time the two of them kissed. Again, he ran out of breath and was forced to pull away.

"Have a good day at school Master." Kumokawa told him. "I love you."

"I love you too Touma." Itsuwa added in when she regained her breath.

"I love you too." He told them. "Both of you."

Itsuwa and Kumokawa smiled at that and together turned away to being the walk back home. Touma watched them go with a peaceful smile on his face.

* X *

"'Let's go!' yells Misaka as Misaka is excited!" Last Order yelled.

"Misaka still thinks that she got an uneven supply of burnt bacon." WORST said, ignoring Last Order's cries.

"You burnt it." Accelerator told her with a glare. He was still angry about the hot sauce.

"'Don't ignore Misaka!' yells Misaka as Misaka is anxious to go." Last Order yelled, peeved that she was being ignored.

"Tou-san sure is good at holding a grudge." WORST sighed.

"It was like 20 minutes ago."

"'Grrr,' growls Misaka growls Misaka."

"You're shortening your life by eating all that meat anyways." Musujime told them. She was a staunch vegetarian.

"Misaka's life wouldn't be worth living without meat." WORST responded.

"You're really willing to go that far just for meat?"

"Misaka would-"

"'Please!' yells Misaka as Misaka interrupts the conversation." Last Order yelled, cutting off WORST.

"Alright you shitty brat." Accelerator said. He opened the door and the four of them excited the apartment.

"What kid wants to go to school that badly?" Muttered Musujime.

"'School is fun," says Misaka as Misaka defends herself." Last Order said.

Accelerator tuned out their chatter as they continued down their path to Last Order's school. Accelerator had pulled some strings (read: threatened people) and gotten her enrolled into one of Academy City's most famous and prestigious elementary schools. Of course he had done a few good inspections on the school to make sure that there wasn't anything shifty going on, he didn't want to send Last Order to some school without checking to make sure that none of the teachers were up to anything.

Last Order had adapted to school life with ease, and she was always excited to go to school in the mornings. She had made lots of friends, living the happy everyday life that he had always wanted for her.

Last Order's school came into sight just as her argument with Musujime died down. "'Can I run the rest of the way?' Misaka asks as Misaka wants to rush to school." Last Order said. She was jumping up and down in excitement.

"Fine." Accelerator told her. "Have a good day."

"'You too!' yells Misaka as Misaka starts running to school!" Last Order said as she took off running. Accelerator stayed to watch making sure that she got to the school just in case. Nothing happened, and he hadn't even thought that it was likely something would happen, but he wouldn't be a very good father if he didn't make sure.

When Last Order disappeared through the school doors Accelerator, Musujime, and WORST turned and began walking to their high school. Another reason that Accelerator had picked that school was that it was within walking distance of both the apartment and his school.

Their school was a mere ten minute walk from Last Order's and as they walked WORST brought up the bacon again. It quickly led to the three of them bickering like an old married couple. In the middle Accelerator nearly had to resort to using his powers to stop WORST from kicking his cane away from him. By the time the argument died out the school was in sight and the three of them stepped through the gates. They had made it there with about ten minutes to spare. Accelerator glanced around as they walked into the building and saw a familiar head of black hair in the distance making it's way towards the school, accompanied by two figures. As always Kamijou would arrive almost right before the bell rang.

Accelerator turned and followed his wives into yet another peaceful day at school.

* X *

"Why do I have to come on your shopping trip?" Hamazura asked with a a large sigh. He, the other members of ITEM, and Fremea were currently on their way to a large mall so the girls could shop for clothes.

"To carry everything." Mugino said.

"Me!? Carry everything!? There's four of you!"

"True, but the entire point of you super existing is to be a lackey." Kinuhata said, continuing the mocking from earlier.

"And you Kinuhata, you have super strength, it's more than possible for you to carry your own stuff."

"That's a super large bother though." Kinuhata quipped. Then she let out an exaggerated sigh and said "Who would have thought super Hamazura would be so super cruel?"

"What?"

"Forcing someone as super young as Fremea to carry her own stuff all the way back, Hamazura sure is super cruel."

"No... not... I.." Hamazura struggled for words. "Fine I'll carry Fremea's stuff, but nobody else's!"

"What kind of super boyfriend doesn't even carry any of his girlfriends stuff?" Kinuhata continued, ignoring the last part of his sentence. "So of course you'll be super carrying Mugino and Takitsubou's clothes right."

"Gah... well Takitsubou should only be buying a tracksuit and sweatpants so fine. But I'm definitely not carrying any of your things Kinuhata! You're on your own!"

"And then since already be carrying everything else so you might as well carry all of my stuff too."

"Are you just ignoring everything I say!?"

"Thanks Hamazura."

"Now you're just substituting what you want to hear!" Hamazura yelled at her. Kinuhata ignored him again and just walked down the street humming like she was alone. He gave up on staring at her and decided to try and make her nervous by glaring at her. It didn't work.

With a sigh Hamazura resigned himself to a long day of carrying around clothing for girls. Trying to remain optimistic he thought that he would at least get to see Takitsubou and Mugino trying on new clothes. Lately his life had been like that, no matter what he was doing there was always some sort of upside to it that made him happy he had done it. He guessed that his life was finally looking up.

With that optimistic thought in mind he said "Can we at least get a taxi then?"

"I called for one for the way back." Mugino told him. "I didn't think you could afford to get one to take us there though."

"Oh okay... Wait what do you mean 'you could afford'?" Hamazura asked with a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"We're paying for the clothing so you're paying for the taxi ride back."

"You're dragging me to go shopping and you're making me pay for the ride back?" He asked depressed. He loved Mugino but that didn't stop him from occasionally hating her for pushing him around too much.

"Relax." She said and gave him a lazy smile. "We'll be trying on swimsuits."

Hamazura smiled, all of his anger forgotten.

* X *

Accelerator glanced at the marked math test that he had just been handed back. As always he had gotten a perfect 100%. The connection to the Misaka network might only restore a fraction of his original calculation ability when it wasn't in 'esper mode' but a fraction of his original calculation ability was still far more than most people's, even if it wasn't enough to use his power.

He put it away without a second glance and looked around the classroom for a second. Kamijou was staring at his test with a look of proud disbelief, obviously having done much better than he expected. Musujime and WORST were in the middle of comparing answers, and from the looks of Musujime's gloating expression she had done better. Before he could stand up to talk to one of them the bell lunch bell rang. WORST and Musujime left the classroom to head to the cafeteria, trying to walk and compare their tests at the exact same time.

Accelerator gave a slight shrug and pulled a bento out of his bag. The one advantage to being the one who cooked was that he got to eat fresh food everyday, while WORST and Musujime had to live off of food that they could get from the cafeteria. He made one for Last Order as well of course.

Kamijou, after another minute of staring at his test, grabbed the desk across from Accelerator and pushed it back against Accelerator's desk. He then pulled out a bento from his bag and began eating, "How'd you do on the test?" He asked with a mouthful of rice.

"Perfect." Accelerator said before stuffing a bit of egg into his mouth.

"...Have you ever gotten a question wrong?" Kamijou asked.

"I failed that first math test." Accelerator said. He quickly repressed the memory of WORST's mocking laughter.

"Oh right, the one where you didn't show any of the work, and just wrote down the answers." Kamijou said offhandedly.

"You're the one who told me I only had to show the work if I couldn't do it in my head." Accelerator said indignantly. He had never been in an actual school before, how was he supposed to know that they did tests differently then he had done back in that solitary classroom he had attended for basic knowledge as part of the scientists plans to turn him into a level six?

"...I've heard it before but the fact that you consider advanced calculus equations something that you can do in your head pisses me off." Kamijou said in a dejected tone. "Is this the difference between a level 5 and a level 0? Damnit I already have to get Mikoto to tutor me, do you have any idea how embarrassing it is for a high school student to ask for help from a middle school one?"

"Tou-san!" WORST yelled from across the room. She marched over to him, with Musujime beside her and the two of them pulled up desks on either side of Accelerator. The two of them muttered a quick "thanks for the meal" and dug into their food. WORST had a simple piece of bread, and Musujime had a high class salad.

"Don't yell from across the room idiot." He said after they both had had time to swallow a piece of food.

"Ah Tou-san is such as tsundere." WORST quipped back easily.

"Says the girl who mocks everybody and only starts talking sweetly when we're alone together." Musujime said teasingly.

"At least Misaka isn't an exhibitionist." WORST said and stuck out her tongue.

"Why the hell are you allowed to wear that in a school anyways?" Accelerator asked. He had never thought of that before. Why was a student allowed to come to school in such revealing clothes?

"...What do you mean?" Musujime asked puzzled. The others were staring at him with the same puzzled face. "Why would I not be allowed to come to school in this?"

"I..." Accelerator said. "I... I don't know." What had just come over him? Nothing was out of place here.

"Tou-san is going crazy." WORST said.

"I guess so." Musujime sighed. "I'll look into the mental asylums."

"Are you okay?" Kamijou asked semi-seriously.

"I'm... fine." He muttered. He tuned out the rest of the conversation as lunch went on, trying to think of why he had thought of Musujime's clothing as an issue. He couldn't come up with anything. It was completely normal wasn't it?

* X *

"How does this one look?" Mugino asked as she slowly turned around. She was wearing a pair of skinny jeans that fit her very well, and a green shirt that showed a tiny amount of cleavage.

"Great." Hamazura said although inwardly he was sighing. Watching Mugino try on new pairs of clothing had been enjoyable for a while but it wore thin after the amounts of clothing she was making him carry had grown enough to make him have to struggle to carry them. He was already dreading the walk to whatever store they were going to next.

The worst part of the day had been when he had had to watch the group of girls try on new pairs of shoes. While Takitsubou had just grabbed a new pair of running shoes, claiming that hers had a hole in them, the other girls had spent an hour trying on various different kinds of shoes. Mugino had even tried to get his opinion on which was better, like he knew anything about it. Even Fremea seemed to have found a fascination in shoes. Of course he was the one who had to carry the shoes around the place. Damnit. He thought to himself, I thought girls loving shoes was just a stereotype.

"How does this look Shiage?" Takitsubou asked. For a second Hamazura got his hopes up that something new might happen but then he looked over to see Takitsubou wearing yet another sports jersey. Although this one was at least black instead of her usual pink.

"Yeah... great Rikou." He said without much spirit. So far she had bought three separate new jerseys, the pair of running shoes she was now wearing, and that was it.

"Don't worry about super Hamazura," Kinuhata said from inside her and Fremea's changing room "He's not super smart enough to know what looks good."

"Whatever." He sighed.

"Alright then, I'll take these." Mugino said. Takitsubou nodded her agreement and the two of them returned to their respective changing rooms.

"How do I look Hamazura-nii?" Fremea asked as she exited her and Kinuhata's changing room and charged over to Hamazura. She was wearing a pink skirt that led down to her knees and a matching pink shirt with stars on it.

"Wonderful." He told her, trying his best to sound enthusiastic. He may have pushed it too far.

"Getting more excited about a little girls clothing then your own girlfriends." Kinuhata said. "Hamazura is such a super lolicon."

"I am not a lolicon!" He shouted back at her.

"There's no point in super denying it." Kinuhata told him. "Just wait until I tell Mugino, a yandere like her will be sure to punish you."

"No I'm... gah!?" He yelled. "Just buy the clothes already!" He then shoved them back into their changing room telling them to get changed quickly.

"Huh why were you yelling Shiage?" Takitsubou asked. Suddenly Hamazura imagined what would happen if they heard Kinuhata call him a lolicon. It involved Takitsubou shunning him for the rest of her life, and Mugino trying to kill with with her level five powers again.

"Hey let's go to those swimsuits place!" He yelled in a panic.

"Huh, I wanted to try on a few more things..." Takitsubou said.

"No need!" Hamazura said. He could hear Kinuhata and Fremea finishing getting dressed. "Let's go!" He yelled and began pushing them towards the counter. "We'll meet you in half an hour!" He yelled at Kinuhata and Fremea. Kinuhata would be able to take care of Fremea for that long.

He managed to buy the clothing and get out of the shop before Kinuhata could get to them, and practically shoved the two girls to get the out of sight quickly.

"Shiage if you push me like that again I will kill you." Mugino told him with a glint in her eye. Then almost immediately afterward she softened and said, "Well I really can't blame you for wanting to see my glorious body in a swimsuit."

Hamazura silently thanked God for the luck dodge. Then the three of them entered into the swimsuit shop and Mugino and Takitsubou both grabbed a swimsuit and disappeared into changing rooms.

"How does this look Hamazura?" Mugino asked as she stepped out of the changing room. She was wearing a tiny pure red bikini, which showed off her considerable curves and "assets" very well. Even Hamazura who had already seen her naked many times found it mesmerizing. For a few seconds all he could do was stare at her glorious body.

"I'll take this one." Mugino said with a smirk as she disappeared back into the changing room.

Takitsubou stepped out of her changing room almost right after Mugino stepped back in. She was wearing a very tight, sexy black one piece. The swimsuit showed off the top of her breasts, and he could see from here that there was a hole in the back that stretched to the sides. Hamazura didn't know what to say.

"This one then." Takitsubou said as she disappeared back into her changing room.

Hamazura smiled at how well they knew him, and together the three of them purchased the swimsuits and exited the store. Now he just had to keep them occupied for another twenty minutes and hope that Kinuhata forgot about the lolicon thing in that time.

* X *

Kamijou walked home alone. He wasn't lonely, he just enjoyed the peaceful walk back to his place without any company. It was a nice respite from the rest of his normally hectic life. Not that he was complaining about that, he enjoyed his life very much. Six girls in love with him, doing well in school, what more could any guy ask for?

"How odd, to see someone so dedicated to breaking illusions living a lie." A female voice said from behind him.

"What?" He said and turned around. He got a quick glimpse of a girl in all black clothing, a raised black hood, and long blond hair. Her expression was one of a profound sadness. Then she was gone. "What the hell?" He asked. There was no sign of her anywhere "A teleporter?" He asked himself. What did she mean about living a lie?

* X *

"Please be my master!"

"Huh!?" Kamijou exclaimed. He had been through a lot of weird stuff in his life, fighting magicians, esper, and even recently getting his arm ripped off by a magic god. But in all his years of living he had never had a girl in maid suit (nontraditional though it was) beg him to be her master. "What kind of ero scene is this?" He asked.

"You saved my life, rescued me from that 'separated world', and stopped that girl from destroying sensei's memory! Please let me repay you by serving you for the rest of my life!" Kumokawa yelled at him.

"I can't afford a maid!" Kamijou yelled in disbelief. There was no way this kind of ero-novel scene could be happening to the unfortunate him right? There had to be some kind of catch!

"I'll work for free." She said without hesitation "You've already done enough to pay me so just let me be your 24/7 maid!"

Kamijou pinched himself on the arm just to check if he was dreaming. "Calm down Kamijou." He muttered to himself. "There's no way that this will lead to any ero-scenes, your misfortune will never allow that."

"What was that?" Kumokawa asked.

"Alright!" He yelled with an expression of triumph "This Kamijou isn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth!"

"Yay, thank you Master!" She yelled enthusiastically. Kamijou nearly cried tears of joy at the sound of her calling him "Master". What kind of guy wouldn't love the sound of that? "What would you like me to do Master?" She asked.

"..." Kamijou instantly felt all of his excitement vanish. What was he supposed to do with a maid so far from home? "Um..." He stammered. "Ah! I know! Go back to Academy City, and feed Index." He told her. Then he paused again. That was another thing he had not considered. What would Index say about this?

"Yes Master." She said with a bow. Kamijou instantly stopped caring about what Index would think. This was just far too good to pass up. "Where do you live Master?" She asked. He wrote down the address and with another bow she left to get a plane to Academy City and fulfill his orders.

"I guess my life is finally looking up." He said to himself as he watched her leave. Maybe his misfortune was running out. He'd need it to if he was to have any hope of defeating Orellus.

Authors Note Continued:

Foot Notes:

[1]: I'm keeping Musujime and WORST's names the same even though they are married because we don't know Accelerator's name.

[2]: Japanese married couples call each other "Tou-san and Kaa-san" (husband and wife respectively). Technically the kids use the same thing but I'm just using mommy and daddy to avoid confusion (Accelerator gets called a lolicon enough already)

I hope you enjoyed it.. I'm going to write a quick prologue for my To Aru/Medaka Box fic, and then I'm off for vacation, so don't expect another chapter until September. Thanks for reading, and please review (it feeds my ego).