Better Off
Disclaimer: I don't own Skip Beat! or any recognizable figures, they belong to their respective owners. The song Better Off belongs to the wonderful singing styles of Sara Evans and was the inspiration for this fic.
Emphasis
Kyoko was used to people walking out on her. Her mother left her with the Fuwa family at a young age and walked out of her life. It didn't matter how often she cried and begged for her mother to stay. It didn't matter how well she tried to do in school or act like a good girl. Nothing pleased her mother. She knew Corn for a few weeks and, though they were magical, he too had left and told her they would not meet again.
When Fuwa Sho, her childhood, and only, friend called her a maid and told her he would not be returning to the place she had worked so hard for and firmly established she would never be anything to him it broke something in her. The innocence she had, the love she felt, it destroyed a childish crush and all feelings of friendship she had carried for years. She had learned this lesson with her mother. Crying didn't do anything. No one would come, no one would be a source of comfort, and no one would care about someone whose heart was breaking, no matter who said otherwise.
Since she knew crying was useless she did the only other things she could have. She laughed. Laughed at how utterly stupid and foolish she had been. Laughed at the shattered dreams of friendship and love, even though her heart was breaking into so many unrecognizable pieces she doubted she'd even recognize herself.
Mogami Kyoko had learned many things from her mother's leaving and now she knew the undeniable truth as well. When someone leaves or wants to go you can't make them stay and watching only hurts more.
She grabbed all of his things and packed them away, either to be sold or donated. Honestly, she didn't care. Everything she had done for him and he had thrown that in her face as if the years they spent together were nothing. This time she didn't have to watch someone leave. This time, she didn't cry or even say she loved him.
This time, she grabbed her suitcase and packed all her things into it. She quit two of her jobs and decided to work at the Darumaya, where the couple who owned the restaurant had graciously agreed to allow her to work and live for a cheaper rent while she tried to break into show business. Revenge on Fuwa Sho really could be considered a matter of equivalence, since it would prove that he had thrown away something precious, even if she knew she would never feel the same way about him again.
No, she couldn't forgive him. Not for what he had done to her, whether he knew it or not, that part of her was gone and she never wanted to be the 'good girl' again. No man would ever take advantage of her the way he had and no man would ever hold so much control over her being. She doesn't need that kind of love.
Most importantly, even though she had sworn revenge and wanted to make him kneel at her feet to acknowledge she was better, she wasn't waiting for him anymore. She no longer had any hope that he would ever return for her in that manner and she pushed all thoughts of love and those feelings aside into a box, locking and sealing them away. She never wanted to be so foolish again.
The Love Me Section. Kyoko really couldn't think of a way to describe the eccentric president's brain child to help people rediscover lost emotions, but in some ways she was glad to be a part of it as well. She was getting to experience so many new things like having friends and slowly she's starting to accept that others might actually come to care for her the way she had always wanted…the way she had given up any hope for once Shotaro had shattered her heart.
Kyoko had known that the president's mission for her would be dangerous, it was obvious by the aura Tsuruga-san gave off at the start and he had scared her. She had known once she became Setsuka that the mission would be complicated and risky for the both of them. She had not realized how dangerous the mission would prove to the locks and seals that she had used on the emotions she had so painstakingly sealed away so she would never have to fear or fall in love again.
If Kyoko had known the dangers of being Setsuka and what it would reawaken in her heart she knew she would have taken the job anyway, if only to protect the incredible man that was her senpai. Even if she had known about Ren's deception regarding his identity as both Corn, her fairy prince, and Hizuri Kuon, Kuu's son, she still would have chose to help him. Regardless of Kyoko's beliefs that she could never be loved, it would never stop her from helping those she had come to care for; Ren just seemed to take the most space in her heart.
Kyoko relied on her little grudge demons to control the love angels that once controlled her entire being. She relied on those grudges to secure her heart and stronghold the wall she wanted to build for the sake of protecting herself. Of course, along with her role of Setsuka, she never could have guessed her role in Ren's life. Despite bringing Ren back and calling him out from shadows as Setsuka, the true meaning of that and the choice Ren made regarding his own feelings for her would remain unknown.
As they grew closer and time passed with the roles, Kyoko became steadily more aware of the locks. They were being opened faster than she could close them again. Ren was getting past all her defenses and she was helpless to him, helpless to fight against the emotions he brought out. As Setsuka she could be as close as she liked, but in turn she had not thought about Cain's own possessiveness and how the characters would feed off each other's desires.
She had relied on using the role of Setsuka to keep a barrier between herself and Ren. She relied on that role to maintain a distance, even if using that role was the only way she could openly express the feelings that came with the opening of the locks. Yet somehow there was a truth to time's healing and this time she thought maybe it would be okay to fall, at least this time she's better off.