Hey guys I know you guys haven been anxiously waiting on this and I'm very glad to get it up. This chapter was so ridiculously hard to write so I apologize for the long wait. But before you read you guys need to know some background information. This story takes approx. 16 years in the future, but you guys WILL get to see numerous flashbacks of Rory and the rest of Callie's and Arizona's kids growing up. Now for characters, Rory is going to be in twelfth grade, the baby announced at the end of BNE is Mark who is in the eleventh, and then you have Tommy and Ada (also known as Addie) who are in the tenth grade. I thought that I'd switch things up a bit by writing so for ahead in the future but I really hope that it doesn't disappoint any of you because I truly think you'll enjoy this story just as much as BNE. I really hope I deliver and meet your high expectations. So now that I have that out of the way, this chapter takes place from Arizona's point of view! Italics are a flashback. I really, really hope you enjoy!
Prologue. Break Me Out
"Break me out tonight,
I wanna see the sun rising anywhere but here,
Come with me."
- Break Me Out, The Rescues
"Mom, explain why we are doing this again?" My fifteen year old daughter leans over in the middle seat of the SUV so that I can see her face in the rearview mirror. Her piercing blue eyes are staring into my identical gaze. Her light blonde hair's pulled into her infamous braids.
"We're doing this Addie because in two days its Grandpa's 70th birthday tomorrow and we all agreed, Aunt Ellie, Aunt Madison, Uncle Alex, and I, that we'd all get together and throw Grandpa a big party." I try and make my seriousness present in my voice without scaring her.
"Okay, I get that part Mom. But why in the heck are we leaving for Oregon at eleven o'clock at night?" I could sense the slight restlessness in Addie's voice. I knew how much she hated to sleep in the car, out of all of our children she was the only one who would stay up during road trips to visit family, the rest of them would be out like a light within the first ten minutes.
I turn in my seat so that I'm actually looking at her without aid from the mirror. "We left early because that means we'd get extra time with Grandpa and Grandma before everyone else shows up. Well besides for Aunt Ellie and Uncle David, of course." I give her a small smile hoping it will calm her down. Addie may have been biologically my daughter but she had Calliope's temper and it didn't take much to send her off into a Spanish rant like my wife was oh so famous for.
This wasn't the only reason why we had left Seattle earlier than planned. This week was especially tough. I had lost two of my long term patients and a transfer from Seattle Presbyterian. I just couldn't stand to stay there watch the sun rise there for one more day knowing that it would be long gone before I even finished breakfast and got to enjoy it. I loved Seattle weather but I just needed a day with sunshine. With Calliope growing up in Miami she understood my need for the sun when I was in a bad mood decided that we'd drive down to Oregon as soon as we were all packed and after a nap so that she wouldn't fall asleep while on the road. I had instantly agreed and here we are.
"Okay, then. Now it makes sense. So where are we staying this time, so I can know what to expect. It's either a somewhat quiet house with my favorite cousin or a more than likely loud and cramped house with Grandma and Grandpa. So what's the verdict?"
Out of the corner of my eye I can see Calliope give me a look before putting her eyes back on the road. Calliope was slightly uneasy about the whole thing. As much as she loved my parents and my family she tends to get nervous when they visited or vice versa. It was something I've adjusted to. I knew that once we got there and the initial greetings were done and over with Calliope would be fine as always.
I lay my hand on Calliope's atop the gear shift to comfort her before answering Addie. "Well, I asked Aunt Ellie about you and Rory staying there while we were in Oregon but Aunt Madison already had asked her so her house is full. Sorry, honey. But you'll get to see as much of Zooey as possible anyways, Addie."
Ellie and David had Zooey at the same time that I had Addie, and Tommy, so they had been best friends since they were born. Their son Jesse was a few years younger than Zooey and was in the sixth grade. I was glad that Calliope and I had decided to have our children close together considering the "horror" stories I overheard Zooey telling Addie and from Ellie herself.
"Alright then." Addie lets out a sigh of disappointment. I understand her frustration so I give her a sympathetic smile. There was going to be at least 14 of us staying at my parent's house the time we're there. There was definitely bound to be a lot of noise as Addie had expected. "Can we play the license plate game? Everyone else back here is asleep." Addie rolls her eyes in disapproval.
The license plate game had been a Robbins family traditional as long as I could remember. We had played it on road trips and while moving to a new town growing up. I couldn't help but remember one day on a road trip to Miami a few months before Addie had turned two.
Calliope and I knew that it would be a long drive all the way to Florida but Derek had given us three weeks off so visit Calliope's family so we thought it would be an interesting way to get there. Even with Calliope's well off background she had only been to five states so I thought this would be a great way for her, not to mention the kids, to see what she had been missing.
"Okay, Rory. What state is that on the truck in front of us?" I ask Rory who has been focused intently on the license plate game that has saved us from the 'are we there yet?'s for the past two states.
"That's Kentucky." She replies proudly. She had been talking in full sentences since was almost two. Calliope and I had been amazed at language skills, especially considering Calliope herself was never great with words.
"You're better at this game than I am, sure." Calliope says enthusiastically as she turns around in the passenger seat to look at Rory. "You hungry, meija?"
"No, Mommy. I'm tired." I look in the rearview mirror and noticed the tiredness in her eyes.
"Well go to sleep then silly goose." Calliope chuckles slightly.
"I don't want to. I mean Addie's a baby and she's not asleep so why should I be?" Rory asks stubbornly.
"Well, meija, just because Addie's awake doesn't mean that you have to be. She slept all the way from Seattle to Montana and you didn't." I can tell that Calliope is trying to get Rory to go to sleep so that we won't be faced with temper tantrum once she gets over tired later.
"Just go to sleep, sweetie. You have plenty of time to play the license plate game later okay?" I say amiably as I look into my rearview mirror once again so I can see her reaction.
"Okay, Momma. You promise? You promise we'll play later?" Rory asks hoping I'll agree with her. The sleepiness in her voice is undeniable.
"I promise, Rory. Now go to sleep okay?" I can't help but chuckle slightly at Rory who looks so much like Calliope in this moment.
Rory quickly pulls her blanket up and places her current favorite stuffed dog on her shoulder. She turns away from Calliope and I, and within minutes I can hear her soft snores waver through the SUV.
"How do you do that?" Calliope turns to me with a look of utter curiosity on her face.
"Do what?"
"Make her get to sleep like that? It always takes me forever to get her to fall asleep. I usually have to everything under the sun to make her sleep." Calliope's voice is underlined with slight shock at my abilities to make our daughter sleep.
"That's because I don't baby her, and she knows that you'll do anything to get her asleep. But that's not your fault you just love her too much not to." I smile at Calliope, hoping that she's not about to get mad at me for saying that.
"Hey!" Calliope goes to continue but we're shockingly interrupted.
"Mommy!" Addie half yells cutting Calliope off. Calliope turns around in her seat to face our youngest child a wide smile spreading across her face. "Mommy, orange car!"
Calliope her head around for a quick second to see what Addie is talking about. Yes, sure enough, about 12 feet away on the other side of the divided highway is an orange Ford Mustang coming towards us.
I turn my head slightly towards Calliope giving her a wide, dimple clad smile. Calliope sees the smile out of the corner of her eye and smiles back immediately. "Yes, Addie. That is an orange car. Good job, sweetie." Calliope sticks her hand out to our daughter who looks as if she's just won the lottery. "Give Mommy a high-five." Addie quickly slaps her hand against Calliope with a small giggle before going back to playing with her shapes puzzle.
Calliope turns back to sit properly in her seat before she chuckles to herself.
"What?" I ask, my voice ringing with pride out of Addie's little outburst.
"Our kids are amazing." Calliope hangs her head slightly and puts her hand over her forehead for a moment before speaking again. Her head is completely turned in my direction now. "That was the understatement of the century, but it's true. I mean Addie isn't even two and she just said her first sentence. Rory can name out almost all fifty states and she's only four and a half. Mark's three and he understands the concept of soccer and can read almost as good as a five year old. Tommy is obsessed with anything that has wheels or makes music of almost any kind and likes to figure out how it works."
Calliope stops for a moment as if to see if I'm still listening. I nod in reply to let her know that I was all ears. "It's crazy, they're so young but they're so unique, they each have a mind of their own. They're tiny humans." A widespread smile crosses her face. I can't help but remember my speech years ago when I first introduced Calliope along with some other attendings and a few residents to the Ped's wing. I can't believe she remembered.
"You remembered?" A smile crosses my own face with my words.
Calliope chuckles characteristically. "Of course I remember. I wasn't just standing there staring at you through that entire speech and wasn't listening. I always listen."
Calliope, always listening, yeah right. "Seriously? So that time when I asked you bring me in a peanut butter sandwich with banana on it for breakfast and you brought me a strawberry banana muffin you were totally listening?" I couldn't help laugh. Calliope definitely wasn't always listening but I would have to say that ninety-five percent of the time she was, which is a hell of a lot better than her not listening at all.
"Fine. Maybe, not all the time but most of the time." Calliope frowns slightly.
"I'm just bugging you, Calliope. You have impeccable listening skills." I don't resist the childish impulse to slightly stick my tongue out at her.
"Hey!" Calliope half yells, careful not to wake Rory.
"I love you, Calliope." I laugh sweetly as I take Calliope hand in my own.
"I love you too, Arizona." Calliope slowly lifts my hand to her lips, gently kissing the back of my hand.
In this moment I'm perfectly content. I have no regrets. I don't regret choosing Calliope and facing my fears over wallowing in everything that I've lost and everything that could have been. I don't regret it because I know that this is the way things should be.
"Mom? Mom!" Addie's confused voice makes me aware of the present day. "
"Sorry Addie, I was just driving down memory lane for a moment there. I'd love to sweetie but it's dark out and you had a point when you said everyone else was asleep. You should be asleep too." I smile sympathetically.
"I don't want to go to sleep. I want to–" I cut Addie off because I know exactly what she's going to say.
"You want to keep us company I know but you've got nothing to worry about, Addie. I'm definitely not going to let your mother fall asleep at the wheel. Right, Calliope?" I now search for some reinforcement from Calliope because I know that if Addie doesn't go to sleep now she's going to be super mad at me in the morning for not making her go to sleep.
"Your Mom's right Addie. Just go to sleep, we'll be just fine up here. Plus just think of it this way, the more sleep you get now the less you have to catch up on later therefore the more time you get to spend with Zooey. Right?" Calliope looks into the rearview mirror with a slightly inquisitive look on her face.
"I see your point. Fine, I'm off to sleep then, if I can that is. You two better not be cracking jokes and making each other laugh, especially you." Addie points her finger at Calliope, and raises an eyebrow just as Calliope would have done.
I can't help but laugh slightly now. "Of course, I won't make her laugh, well not to hard anyways." I shake my head before looking back at Addie. "Just go to sleep Addie, you've got no worries."
"Alright, night Mom, night Ma." She replies before grabbing her blanket from down by her feet and covering herself, turning towards the passenger window.
"Night Ad." Calliope says with a smile.
"Night sweetie." I say before turning back towards the windshield, not once letting go of Calliope's hand. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Calliope looking at me; her gaze is nearly completely focused on me. "Yes, Calliope?"
"Nothing." She replies almost too quickly for me to be able to take her seriously.
"Calliope." I continue to press her because I know this isn't in my head.
Her voice is lowered significantly, so much that I can barely hear it even though I'm right next to her. "I didn't want to mention it until I knew the kids were all asleep. But something's bother you. I can see it all over your face. Your smile doesn't quite reach your eyes and you look around to see if anyone else has noticed it. And I do, I do notice it. So you need to tell me what's going on in that breathtaking mind of yours because you're scaring me." I can feel the anxiety in her voice; it's purely inevitable.
My mind begins to race uncontrollably. What do I say to her? How can I possibly tell her this? It will make her feel as if her walls are crumbling down around her and she's helpless. All I can do now is lie through my teeth and pray that she won't see right through it all. All I want is to break out and be free of this chaos.