Ohyeah, another oneshot.
Okay, so I got bored in English and wrote this in 15 minutes. But it seemed longer on paper... Damn my massive handwriting.
Sooooo. My first Twilight fanfiction. But since Bell-end dies in the first paragraph, I'm happy ^^
Wait - there isn't much Twilight in it at all, actually. But since it's set in the Twilight-verse, meh. Woo, Furuba.
Disclaimer: Don't own either series, however much I want to be Takaya-sensei. You can keep your Bella and sparkly vampires, I want bishies. Also don't own anything referenced.
Get ready for some random as hell shit.
"Eeeedwaaaaard... Eeeeeedwaaaaaaard... I missed (pronounced miss-ed) jooo Edward..." Bella wailed as she walked along the cliff edge. "Why won't you come back to me Edward...?" Too lost in her moping, she didn't notice the ominous black shadow of a presence behind her, waves of ill-intent radiating thick and fast. "I love y-"
The figure outstretched it's hands and pushed Bella off the cliff. The sea-breeze blowing the short black strands of hair did nothing to obscure the smirk of contempt or the glint of happiness in the usually unfeeling coal-black eyes.
"Hasta la vista, Tohru."
SPLASH.
"Ehhhh, Akii-chan?" A brown haired man appeared next to her without warning.
"What, Shigure?"
"That... wasn't Tohru."
"The head of the Sohmas is never wrong, bitches."
"But-"
"Never."
"Toh-"
"Ever."
"WTF DID YOU DO TO THE LOVE OF MY LI-"
Akito took out a pistol from her kimono and shot Jacob deader than roadkill.
"Annoying prat. For some reason, he reminded me of you, inu-hole." She stashed her gun back in her clothing. Shigure, dismissing the insult, rested his arm on Akito's shoulder.
"Okay, Akito, that's enough mindless killing for you."
"..."
"Yes, dear?"
"Shut up." Shigure pouted in mock hurt. "... Can we go get tacos?"
"Sure, let's get tacos." Shigure took her hand and they skipped all three metres to the car.
Which Hatori was driving.
"TO TACO BELL!" Akito commanded, standing on the gearbox with her head through the sunroof.
Somewhere on the other side of America:
Alice broke out of her vision, reaching for the object next to her.
"Oh magic conch shell - what should I do?"
"Nothing." the pink plastic answered in its infuriatingly calm voice.
And so Alice sat on her bed, staring into space, while Bella drowned.
THE END. ON A STICK.
I blame my 4 year old brother for the Spongebob reference. I'm currently babysitting him and he's acting it out while watching it. It's really cute ^^
Really, this all just shows that I should be shot. I DON'T EVEN LIKE TACOS! And to think it all started at 4:30 in the morning, when I typed chapter 9 of FnJ. See, not shameless self promotion (SSP) since I didn't tell yous the full title ^^
OH! - and I have nothing against Jacob. Akii-chan did it of her own free will -shifty eyes-