"And then Aleksandr drank a whole bottle of vodka! It was such fun, you should come out with us some time!" What the fuck is she talking about?!

"Ciara sweetie, what in the hell does that have to do with anything? I've lost my laptop, help me find it. That's all I asked. Not for that charming story about your weekend with Belarus." I think she's in love with him. Sorry Ciara, he likes Anya. Which is hella creepy.

"Seren has it. She's on Skype with that guy again, what's his name. Edw- Edd- Eduard, that's the one." That nerd?! Fucking hell.

"Thanks Ciara, you may have a biscuit. But only one! They're Alice's!" Heheh, if she was nicer to me, maybe I wouldn't steal her biscuits. But no, she's an arse to me.

Time to put Operation Golden Black Hawk into action. Take my laptop without asking, will you?!

"SEREN!" I yelled through her bedroom door, kicking it open. I could be a caring sister and wait for her to finish her Skype call with the nerd before taking the laptop from her, but where's the fun in that?

"Seren, have you seen my- Oh, is this the boy you always talk about? The one with sexy glasses and sexy blond hair and sexy sweater vests?"

"BYE EDUARD!" Seren shouted, slamming the laptop shut.

"Hey, I paid good money for that!"

"Really Eva, really?!" She looks mad. Oops.

"I'm sorry, but I need my laptop!"

"You always do that! We're just friends. FRIENDS! Not lovers, not partners, not 'fuck-buddies' as you called us last time." Heh, fuck buddies was my favourite.

"Woah, calm down!" Her temper is as bad as Alice's, shit. This is why Ciara is my favourite. She's fun, not aggressive!

"Calm down, huh? I'll show you calm." She said, launching my laptop- FUCK NO.

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT?! MY POOR BABY!" She threw my laptop out of her open window! I need that! I ran downstairs, falling over Alice's damn shoes, and into the back garden.

"WHY!" I screamed up into the sky. My poor laptop, we've had some good times. Me and my Merida. Fucking Seren, damn it. I bet you Alice blames me. She blames everything on me.

"What the hell are you shouting about?!" Speaking of the Wicked Witch of the South. If you didn't understand that, think about it a minute.

"Has Dorothy not landed a house on you yet? Give it time, it looks a bit stormy." Eva 1, Alice 0.

"Hilarious. Now what the hell are you yelling about?!" I thought it was funny.

"Seren threw my laptop out of the window." My precious baby.

"What did you say to her?" Wow, fuck you.

"Nothing!" She smells like perfume. Bad perfume. She smells like arse, to be honest with you.

"Anyway, I need to tell you something. I'm going out now on official business, it's the G8 meeting. Look after Ciara, leave Seren alone, and so help me God, if you bring any of your friends over, I will skin you alive." All I heard then was 'blah blah blah I'm going out blah blah blah bring friends over blah'. Pfft, fine. But Ciara and I are going to have a super kickass time.

"And no drinking. I'm not having Ciara drunk again."

"That was one time, fuck!" God, she gets arrested once and that's my fault.

"Don't wreck the house Eva, I mean it. I shall see you tomorrow, I'm staying in a hotel tonight." And by 'hotel', she means 'France's bed'. Or is it 'America's bed' now?

"Okay! Bye, have fun!" I yelled, pushing her out of the front door. She's such a chatterbox!

"EVA! WHERE'S ALICE GOING?!" Ciara shouted as she bounced down the stairs.

"She's gone out on business, she won't be back until tomorrow." Whatever shall we do without her wonderful presence. Have fun, that's what.

"Can we play our game?! The one were we wear the funny make-up and dress up?" Fuck yeah we can.

"Help me move the dining room table then, we need room."

*after moving the dining table and putting on said attire*

"So who am I again?" We've been over this damn it.

"You're Bouddica, Queen of the celts, and I'm a Roman General. We fight each other witth these pillows until one of us falls off of our spinny office chair."

"Got it, thank you!" She smiled, pulling her chair to the opposite side of the dining room to mine.

"Ready?" I asked her, putting a cooking pot on my head. What? Got to protect my head! She's violent.

"Yeah!' She laughed as she knelt on her chair and put her feet against the wall.

"Three. Two. One. FOR ROME!" I screamed when I kicked away from the wall and into Ciara.

"FOR THE CELTS!" She yelled back.

We crashed into each other, the impact throwing us both off of our chairs and into Alice's booze cabinet. No expensive or vintage bottles, just the Gordon's gin and a bottle of crap Rum.

"Are we going to get into trouble, Eva?" Ciara asked. Shit, she looks like she's going to cry.

"No! Of course we're not. We can blame Seren." Break my laptop will you, bitch?!