OH YES YOU CAN!
Modern AU. Senior class at Berk High decides to try their hand at a traditional pantomime for their English Project. But when Hiccup is missed from the cast list for Cinderella, will he ever go to the Ball with Astrid?
I don't own How to Train Your Dragon (not even for Christmas…boy, that would be hard to wrap…) Rights remain with Cressida Cowell and Dreamworks.
A/N: Right-Christmas is round the corner and when I was sitting with my Godson and friends at the Pantomime, I had the very dangerous idea of wondering what would happen if our crew tackled this very traditional form of Christmas entertainment. Here is the results…enjoy!
….
ONE:
It had seemed like quite an innocuous suggestion as the very bored Senior English Class at Berk High had dozed after lunch.
"This year, you should present something for your parents as a Christmas or Snoggletog entertainment," Mr Mulch had suggested. The English teacher was a short, round and very hairy man who had a wild beard and looked as if he had been hit in the face with a badger but who was always good-humoured and positive. "You're doing a pantomime."
"A pants-what?" Simon 'Snotlout' Jorgensen mumbled disinterestedly. He had been told in no uncertain terms that he had to pass English if he wanted to get his Diploma and as he had failed in the previous three years, this was his last chance.
"A pantomime," Hiccup Haddock piped up. The smartest student in the class was sitting at the front, his tousled auburn hair framing a sharp-jawed face with pale lightly-freckled skin and dominated by bright green eyes. He was skinny and had been teased for years for being a runt-but over the summer he had shot up four inches which had silenced the taunts of 'runt', though 'beanpole' and 'fishbone' were still frequently used. "Pantomime or panto is a type of musical comedy stage production designed for family entertainment. It was developed in England and is still performed throughout the United Kingdom, generally during the Christmas and New Year season. It includes songs, gags, slapstick comedy and dancing, employs gender-crossing actors and combines topical humour with a story loosely based on a well-known fairy tale, fable or folk tale."
"An excellent summary, Hiccup," Mr Mulch said cheerfully.
"What? We're going to be putting on some sort of childish play?" Astrid Hofferson asked sharply. The girl was focussed and determined, an outstanding soccer player and smart-though she had little time for activities that took time away from her sport and her studies. She was also very pretty with blonde hair braided over her left shoulder and brilliant sky-blue eyes.
"Yes-it will do you all good to work as a team in creating and presenting this pantomime at the Great Hall on Christmas Eve," Mr Mulch told them with a slightly forced smile. Ha had expected a lot more enthusiasm by now.
"Christmas Eve? But we'll all be with our families by then!" Snotlout protested.
"Some of us may want to go away…" Heather Bazerk added. She was a slim, pretty raven-haired girl with green eyes. She lived with her brother and they were due to visit distant relatives on Berserk Island..
"I have already written to your parents and they are aware that the Pantomime constitutes the Final for this class so your attendance is mandatory," the teacher said through gritted teeth. "So you will participate or fail. Understand?"
There was a monotonous grumble of 'Yes, Mr Mulch' from every student present. The teacher flashed his smile again and lifted a sheath of papers. "Good. because I have downloaded this script, modified it and already cast you."
"What?" Snotlout gaped, his blue eyes widening. The stocky young man had black hair and blue eyes and reckoned he was a hit with the ladies. "Don't we audition?"
"Everyone will have a part as I have cast it!" Mulch said firmly and handed out the scripts. "Okay-the pantomime we are doing is Cinderella. Is everyone familiar with the fairy tale?"
Everyone put their hands up except Astrid and Hiccup and the teacher rolled his eyes. Astrid opened her mouth to protest.
"Read the script!" he said, finally losing his patience. "Yes, Raquel?"
"Will there be destruction in this?" the girl asked. Angular, with a long face and three thick blonde braids, Raquel "Ruffnut' Thorston was half go the Thorston twins who were famed for creating the most chaos and mayhem in the history of Berk High. Her twin, Tommy 'Tuffnut' Thorston, who looked like a male version of her with his long blonde hair in dreadlocks, not braids, nodded.
"We're not taking part in something that doesn't blow…" He paused and swallowed his gum. "Things up…" he concluded, looking into the dropped jawed faces of the rest of the class. Mulch grinned.
"I see you're a natural," he said.
"What?"
"So-to the parts," Mulch said and checked his list. "Cinderella-Astrid Hofferson."
"What?" The blonde looked up and frowned.
"Astrid-you have the looks, the intelligence and the ability to take this part," Mulch reminded her. "Fairy Godmother-Cameron Bogson."
"What?"
"You'll do fine, Cameron," Mulch told her. "You are the narrator as well."
"What? I was planning on bunking off and…"
"Miss Bogson-may I remind you that your chosen College Course requires good English grades?" Mr Mulch reminded her sharply. She huffed and scolded as he looked back at his list. "Ugly sisters-Raquel and Tommy."
"Oh, come on-why am I always joined with my weedy girly brother?" Ruff complained.
"That's why," Snotlout smirked.
"Principal boy-Selena/Cedric is Heather Bazerk," Mulch continued.
"Why am I a boy?" Heather asked.
"Why aren't I principal male character?" Snotlout whined. "I'm clearly the most desirable male here!"
"I believe it is a pantomime staple ingredient that the 'principal boy' is always played by a girl since 'he' is usually in disguise either due to poverty or due to some other adverse social factor leading to hilarity and misunderstandings," Hiccup explained.
"Shut up, Hiccup," Snotlout muttered.
"Buttons the page-Gustav Larson!"
"Result!" the youngest class member whooped, his grinning face framed by spiky black hair.
"Arnold the Prince's courtier-Frederick Ingerman!"
Fishlegs-a large husky boy with a blond pudding bowl cut and blue-green eyes in his round, kindly face smiled.
"I'll do my best," he promised and began to flick through his script to familiarise himself with his role."
"Cook-the pantomime dame-Simon Jorgensen!"
"WHAT? No, no, no…you've done it all wrong…I'm the hero…" Snotlout was crawling on his knees towards the teacher, his hands clasped in a begging pose. "I can't play a woman!"
"Again, the pantomime dame is usually a humorous character obviously played by a man dressed as a woman, usually in hilariously over-the top costumes…" Hiccup offered.
"Shut UP, Hiccup!" Snotlout growled.
"I'm certain you will perform admirably, Mister Jorgensen," Mulch said with a broad grin. "The King-Timothy Carneby and the Prince-Erik Eretson!"
Erik (or Eret), a tall, very buff jock with his black hair pulled back into a ponytail and caramel eyes in his handsome face, smiled lazily as the equally buff and darkly handsome 'Thuggory' Carnaby fist-bumped him.
"I'm sure Cinderella will be drooling at the thought of riding away with me," he drawled lazily.
"Why you arrogant self-important smug…"
"Miss Hofferson! Control yourself…wait…is that burning I smell?" He spun around and saw Hiccup wearily pointing at the waste bin where the twins' scripts were flaming merrily. "You can copy this out in your own time by tomorrow!"
"WHAT?"
"TYRANT!"
"And the Stepmother will be played by Philippa Mortensen," Mulch concluded, looking over at the surly young woman who scowled. Philippa-or Phlegma-was a taciturn girl who spoke little and who rarely contributed to any debate.
"Oh, that isn't going to go well," Tuff commented.
"She's our mother? Thor, I'm putting myself up for adoption!" Ruff complained.
"Me too!" Tuff added.
"I'm not putting you up for adoption," she snarked back.
"Yes, you are…" Tuff retorted as the twins began shoving and wrestling.
"Okay-so all the parts have been allocated and…" Mulch began as he sighed. "Mr Carnaby, Mr Ingerman-can you separate them please?" There was a pause while the two prised the fighting twins apart and Hiccup raised his hand.
"Excuse me, Mr Mulch…but I don't have a part," he said, to sniggers.
"Maybe you could play a flagpole or a broomstick!" Eret sneered.
"Why would you get a part anyway? I didn't know there was a cripple in this play!" Thuggory sneered.
"Mr Carnaby-that will be enough!" Mulch said sternly and turned to the blushing Hiccup. "I'm sorry, Hiccup-there are no more parts. I can make you assistant producer. At least you will get some valuable experience from this class." Curling inside with shame and disappointment, the teen forced a smile that he didn't feel onto his face.
"Thank you, sir," he said dispiritedly.
oOo
Sitting at home after school, Hiccup dumped his bag by his desk in his room and then headed down for the kitchen, where his father was making himself a giant cup of coffee. Stephen 'Stoick' Haddock was a mountain of a man, close to seven feet, hard on four hundred pounds of muscle and sinew and the epitome of a Viking Chief-except he was born a thousand years too late. Now he was a former professional Football player, a lawyer and latterly the Mayor of Berk while raising his son with only the help of his best friend, Gordon 'Gobber' Belcher. As his cool green-grey eyes peering over his large nose and enormous flaming red braided beard, Stoick caught his son's expression and turned to him.
"How was school, son?" he asked gently as Hiccup shrugged.
"Fine, I guess," he said self-consciously.. He was the opposite of his father-lean, still tall but a little shy and sarcastic, his auburn hair and bright green eyes echoing his dead mother. The terrible car wreck that had killed Valka had cost Hiccup his leg and Stoick knew his son had been struggling in the three years since-especially since he had been teased for his disability daily by some of the more athletic and self-absorbed members of the class. Stoick cocked a very bushy eyebrow.
"Really? The sort of fine that involves being suspended, expelled or given a year's worth of work to do in a week?" he asked dryly as Hiccup finally looked up and smiled.
"Not quite that bad, Dad," he admitted. "But English…well, we have to do this Pantomime thing…"
"Yes, I know," Stoick admitted with a smile. "Mr Mulch wrote to us all at the start of the Semester but ordered us to keep it quiet until he told you. So what part do you have, son?" Hiccup stared at his feet-well, foot and prosthetic-and blushed.
"I don't have one," he admitted quietly. Stoick frowned.
"Why?" Hiccup shrugged.
"There weren't enough and I guess they thought if someone needed to miss out I was the one," he said. "I mean it's not like I mind or anything…"
But you do, Stoick realised. Very much. Because over the last three years, you've been left out and sidelined far too much for something that wasn't your fault and which you have never complained about or used as an excuse…
"Ah," was what he said aloud.
"I mean, I'm the Assistant Producer so that should be good experience…and I can't really sing or act or dance and I would probably fall over and make you thoroughly ashamed of me and I probably would forget how to speak if I was acting opposite Astrid anyway…"
And that's another sore spot, Stoick realised, extracting another mug from the cupboard and spooning four large teaspoons of chocolate into the mug. You're sweet on that girl and though she isn't mean or cruel to you like some of the others, she barely notices you exist. He poured boiling water onto the powder and stirred away, before going to the fridge and finding cream which he whipped in.
"Marshmallow?" he asked.
"I mean why would they want me to be in any sort of play when all I am is an embarrassment," he continued. "I'm still a bit unsteady and I would probably trip over something and then…" Stoick rested a hand on his shoulder and looked into his son's desolate eyes.
"Son-you are the smartest student in that class and certainly one of the bravest people I know, going back to school and facing them when you were still learning how to walk and grieving for your mother," he said. "You will learn more out of this experience by not taking part in the pantomime than some of the students who just concentrate on learning their lines and acting. Because you will learn about leading your group, problem solving, dealing with adversity and all the other organisational and logistic issues that go into producing an entertainment."
"Yeah-theatre. Love it," Hiccup said sarcastically, accepting his chocolate and taking a long sip. His eyes widened in shock. "Thor-Dad, where did you learn to make this? It's amazing!"
"Gobber," Stoick admitted, sipping his own. "Mmm. That really is good." Hiccup smiled.
"Thanks, Dad," he said. Stoick smiled.
"I know things have been hard for you son-but I am sure this will work out differently to how you expect," he said. "Anything could happen between now and Christmas Eve. And I am believe that sometimes, the deserving get the rewards they sometimes least expect," he said. Hiccup shrugged.
"Personally, if I survive producing this pantomime, I'll be surprised."
-o0o-
A/N: Updates very other day to Christmas Eve.