Author's Note: I think the last time I wrote FF was in 2008... no, seriously. This is my first one in almost 10 years, so thanks Liz Meriwether and the writers of New Girl for giving me some amazing characters to work with. On that note, try not to hate this too much. This is set throughout season 6 and gives insight to what good ol' Nicholas Miller might have been feeling throughout this emotional rollercoaster of a season. Feedback is appreciated.

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Ready

Chapter One: Homecoming

The first time Nick feels it, he's walking through the door of the loft upon his return from New Orleans. There's an emptiness he feels when he realizes that no one else is home. For the first time since Cece and Schmidt's wedding, he is completely alone. At first, it's kind of a nice feeling. New Orleans had been such an overwhelming vacation for him. Amazing, but overwhelming. He had never been truly alone the whole trip. Even when Reagan was out working- he would be walking the streets of New Orleans, posting up at bars, and working on The Pepperwood Chronicles. He had finally finished his first novel. As long as he had Pepperwood and Jessica Night, he was never truly alone. But now, with the novel finished and New Orleans in the past, he was alone and being in this empty loft that normally had such a bright and upbeat atmosphere to it was really bringing him down.

When Reagan's company informed her that they were cutting her stay in New Orleans short, his emotions were mixed. He wanted to spend more time with Reagan and explore their relationship, but at the same time—he really missed his best friends. Schmidt and Winston texted him every single day about any little thing that happened to them, but he couldn't help but feel there was a void in his relationship with Jess. They exchanged a couple of texts at the very beginning of his trip, but they started dwindling down as the days dragged on. In fact, it had probably been about two weeks since he had heard from her at all. It was probably because she was trying to date more now that her and Dr. Sam had broken up (pft- again). Nick hated that he hadn't talked to her, but he understood that she was going through something right now. She really cared about Dr. Sam, and for him to just leave her like that… the thought of it really pissed him off. He wanted to be there for her but… he just… he couldn't right now. He was in New Orleans with his dream girl.

Sitting in the loft on his own, he started to think about the past couple of months in New Orleans. He had genuinely enjoyed hanging out with Reagan and getting a chance to really just… be with her. She had such a wry sense of humor and a confident attitude that made her infinitely sexier than she already was. She didn't force him to talk about how he felt, didn't try to make him do anything he didn't want to do, and honestly he just liked how he felt when he was with her. Sure, there were annoying things about her, too—but this was his dream girl. He could get past those annoyances. And now that she wasn't around, he missed her.

He heard someone rumbling at the door and finished taking the bite of his lunch. He wondered who the first person he was going to see would be. He knew who he hoped it would be.

The first time he sees her, his heart flutters a little bit. He didn't realize how much he missed her until she's standing right in front of him. He panics. "Hey! Crawdaddy's home!" He coughs. He's an idiot for trying to talk with his mouth full. "I had a whole crawdaddy thing but, I… the point is, I'm home."

She seems flustered—almost as if she's upset about something. "Hey, Nick." She doesn't seem too pleased that he's home… did something happen while he was away? Did he do something wrong? "You weren't supposed to be home for like, a month… are you guys doing okay?"

Maybe he's overthinking things. Maybe she was just super surprised to see him.

"Yeah, uh, Reagan's drug company is moving her up to Seattle—"

"Okay…"

"So we're doing the distance thing. Yeah! We're doing great."

The exchange seems a little awkward. He doesn't know what to make of it. What the hell is going on?

"You know what they call Seattle in Portland?" It's like she's just making conversation just to make conversation. "North Portland." Yep, she's definitely doing just that. "Or, uh, Vancouver's Shoe."

"What?" She is thoroughly confusing him. He has no idea where to go with this conversation.

"Vancouver's Shoe." He smiles at her weak attempt at a joke. Maybe if he just hugs her—things will be okay and back to normal. Maybe she just needed a moment to get that out of her system.

"Get in here! Give me a hug!" He approaches her and takes her into his arms. He's expecting it to be immediately warm and familiar, but it just seems cold and distant. He hears her mutter okay under her breath before finally hugging him back. He loves this feeling. He missed this feeling. He missed the essence of everything that is Jess. He almost gets lost in his thoughts for a second before finally pulling away.

"Wow, look at you! You got jacked!" She honestly looks amazing. She was already a 10 before he left for New Orleans and now she's like… a 15. How was that even possible? "What, did you to go prison?"

She laughs timidly, and his heart flutters. Finally, he had said something to make her at least smile. Maybe their friendship wasn't as far gone as he thought it was. "No. I worked out a lot."

He desperately wants to have a conversation with her. Really, anything to make this feel like he had his best friend back, "Come on! Sit down! I haven't seen you in months. I need some Jess." He had needed some Jess for a very long time, but he hadn't realized how much until this very moment. "I also have something very important to tell you…" She squirms a little bit… why is she so uncomfortable, "Is everything okay?"

"Um," He sees her fumble. She's breathing a little heavier than normal, "I have to um- it's just, I have to meet my friend. I mean I have to go to the zoo."

He furrows his brow. She hates the zoo. "The zoo? You hate zoos."

"Um, I was supposed to meet her in the lemur section of the parking lot like ten minutes ago, so…"

Wait, what friend? "What friend?"

"Why… Deedee. I have to meet Deedee. She's, like, a good friend."

That was a blatant lie and he could tell. "Deedee? That's not a name. You have one friend. It's Cece."

And with that, she's out the door. Gone. Yet again, he's alone. He sits back down on the couch and contemplates the scene that just unfolded. What the hell just happened? Why did she act so weird? What was going on? Did he do something to her without knowing it? Why did he care so much?

He closes his eyes and lets out a long sigh. He wishes Reagan were here. She'd make him feel better. And that's when he feels an emotion he has suppressed and ignored for three years now. He had pushed it down to the depths and swore it would never come back until he was ready. He panics for a moment—was he really ready? Was this really it? Was this really how he felt? He couldn't help it- it was overcoming him. Love.