So, hello my friends! I do apologize for the horrendously long break I've taken in my writing! So much has happened! I've gone to college, met a boy, and am overall extremely busy! I want to also apologize for the state of my other many stories. Unfortunately, I have no plans as of yet to finish them. Looking back, I have tried to better my writing and I find it hard to think about going back and editing all of my previous stories. But that doesn't mean it won't happen, lovelies! Just not right now! This is a new story I am starting so I can still write without hating my previous stuff. I hope you enjoy it, dears. I've got big plans for this one!
The air was cold and dry. The kind of air that could make a person feel canyons forming in their cheeks as their skin dried. The kind that made eyes water and chapped lips that always seemed to taste of iron. Lily Evans sat alone beside the lake. The usual humidity of the water was absent in that winter air. She drew her knees up and smiled, sticking out her pink tongue to catch snowflakes. Lily loved the winter. Colors were more vivid against the stark blankness. Everything was sharp and undeniably beautiful. The branches of the willow tree above her were bent with the weight of ice drippings that made it look more like a chandelier than a tree. With each snowfall everything was familiar and yet new all at once. Lily just couldn't get enough.
She blew out a breath and watched the little cloud of smoke billow outwards, a small giggle passing her lips. So what if she was easily entertained? Somebody had to notice the small things.
She sat until her bum was numb with the cold before reluctantly standing, brushing the flakes away with hands guarded by red wooly mittens. She knew she had to go back home, but she honestly wished she didn't. The place was a madhouse, filled with swatches of lace and tiny samples of designer cakes. Lily had been caught up in the excitement of her sister's wedding at first, of course, but as time passed she was beginning to find more and more reason to stay out of the house. Her sister was becoming a right bitch.
A small voice in her head, a memory she knew, whispered, "She's always been a bitch, Lils. You're just stubborn."
Lily almost laughed to herself. Almost. The owner of that voice was gone now. She hadn't seen him all summer, despite her many tentative trips to the lake. She hadn't seen him this Christmas break either. Vaguely, she wondered if he'd just stayed at Hogwarts.
The thought of the boy she'd known sitting alone on Christmas upset her. Even the new Purebloods he'd been chummy with lately would've gone home. He'd be alone. But, hey, maybe that's how he wanted it.
She instantly regretted her own thoughts, scuffling home with her face slightly downcast. She'd had over a year to think over the incident by the lake. Where her best friend had called her a name he had always protected her from. Severus, her Sev, would be alone for Christmas. Of course she was still upset with him about what he'd said. She wanted him to hurt like she was hurt, but she knew she couldn't allow him to be alone for another Christmas. He'd been at Hogwarts last year and she hadn't even had the decency to send him a card, she was still so angry with him.
Well, that would change this year. Over the time she'd spent alone, with mostly only Alice to lean on, she'd realized a few things about her former best friend. Severus was… Well, Severus was introverted. She'd known that already of course, but really… He had been beyond ashamed being ridiculed in front of such a large group. He'd lashed out at her, just as she'd done a dozen times to him when she was upset or embarrassed. And while he had definitely used the wrong words towards her, she hadn't done much different. No, she hadn't insulted his blood status, but she had done something she'd never done to him before. She'd smiled, turned around, and walked away. She'd listened to the jeers as James and his motley crew had charmed his pants right down to his ankles. And she knew that her abandonment had hurt him even more than the shame. She'd never left him before. Then again, he'd never used the tone he reserved for the Marauders on her. He'd never called her a Mudblood.
Lily rubbed her mittens together to warm her hands and then stuck them in her armpits again. She shivered. She'd looked in his eyes that last night and they were the clearest she'd ever seen them, pleading with her to accept his heart wrenching apology, and again she'd done the exact same thing. She'd rejected his words, turned her back, and left him in the hall. For a while, she'd felt liberated. She'd felt strong and free from him and the baggage he brought. She'd gone out with her girlfriends. She'd gotten close to Alice. She'd gone for Butterbeer in Hogsmeade and thoroughly enjoyed the social life. Very little of which she ever did with Severus. But, through the nights she'd cried herself to sleep missing him and the hours in the library studying, seeing Alice where she expected him, she was tired of it all. She felt guilty for thinking of him as a burden because he wasn't. He'd never been. She was simply hurt and as terrible as it sounded, it made her feel just a little bit better to bring him down. But to put it quite frankly, she missed his quiet friendship.
She made it home just as she'd finished her reverie. Not a moment after walking inside, a thin, angular girl barreled towards her. "Out! Out!," Petunia screeched as Lily was pushed backwards by the big gaudy excuse for a wedding dress she had on. Lily pushed back, her eyebrows knit together.
"I'm going anyways! Don't get your knickers in a twist!" Lily huffed and hurried up the stairs, glimpsing the small group of high society friends Petunia had invited over to help pick her wedding dress. All of them sipping cheap wine and eating small cucumber sandwiches as they cooed over Petunia's positively horrid dress.
Lily threw herself on her bed with a groan, gathering one of her pillows beneath her chin and closing her eyes. Perhaps it was time to patch things up. Perhaps he didn't want her friendship any longer. Her heart clenched uneasily at the thought of that and she sighed. Whatever the answer, he deserved to know someone was thinking of him. She knew he had to be miserable, unfortunately more so if he was home for Christmas this year. She sat up and looked about her slightly unkempt room for a notepad and paper, curling up in bed as she began to write. There was a time for everything to end. Even this silence between them.
Tell me what you hate, what you love, whatever! Thank you for reading!