So I'm going to write something I've never written before – Angstshipping. It's not a ship that I ship romantically, but I do happen to really enjoy it as a friendship-ship, and as a "let's both despair in our lost love and friend" partnership. I mean hey, angst is in their ship name right?
A shock of white hair met lavender eyes through the door's peephole and for a moment, Marik felt his heart soar. But the moment he realised it was simply Ryou, he let out a sigh and tried to bite back the hope that had sprung up to strangle him.
"Hello Ryou," Marik said with a small strained smile as he opened the door. The other boy simply smiled at Marik and bowed slightly.
"Hello Marik. I'm really sorry for dropping by unannounced like this, but I had something I really needed your help on," he explained, holding up a bag that was filled with a few books and papers.
The Egyptian simply smiled that same strained smile and shook his head gently before replying.
"I'm afraid I can't really help right now. I'm in the middle of something on my own – "
"Please Marik, it's really important," Ryou interrupted as his brows furrowed.
Maybe it was the way that in that moment Ryou's normally smooth face crinkled and reminded Marik of the person he wanted to see more than anything, but after a terse moment, he swung the door open.
"C'mon in then. I'll make some tea."
That expression of unhappiness melted back into Ryou's soft face as he nodded and let himself into the apartment. If the dim lighting, wax dripped candles, and books and scrolls scattered around the apartment looked odd, Ryou didn't comment and Marik didn't offer an explanation. Instead the two of them moved to the kitchen where Marik began to prepare a pot of tea. As he did, Ryou looked at Marik's hands and frowned a bit.
"What did you do to hurt your hands?"
At the question, Marik tried to keep his bandaged hands out of Ryou's vision, shrugging gently and keeping his back turned toward the other.
"It was stupid. I accidentally spilled hot wax on my hands. It's nothing to worry about…"
He waited for Ryou to comment or at least continue on about the other's injuries, but a silence fell over them for a moment until Ryou let out a small "I see".
That same silence fell over them as Ryou looked around and Marik prepared the tea. After a few minutes, Marik turned around with two cups and handed one to Ryou who thanked him.
It wasn't until they'd both nearly finished their tea that Marik finally broke the silence.
"So…I don't mean to rush you but, what did you need help with? I do still have things I have to do."
"Ah right, sorry," Ryou said as he got up and grabbed his bag before returning. "I have a few glyphs I'm having trouble deciphering and I thought that maybe you could help me out."
Marik took a deep breath, half wondering if he could ask the other to leave but…the faster he helped the other, the better they'd be.
"Fine, let me see what you've got."
It took them a little bit of time to work through what Ryou had brought, and while Ryou tried to pick up a conversation several times, Marik shut down every attempt. Every second he spent helping Ryou took away from trying to find a way to bring back –
He stopped himself from finishing the thought, unable to even think of the other's name without his already burning heart shuddering painfully.
When they finally finished, Marik got up without warning and began to clean up the makings from the tea.
"It was nice to see you Ryou, but I really am quite busy so you can let yourself out…"
His mask was slipping and he knew that he was acting rude, but he was finding less and less of a reason to care.
He expected Ryou to get up, expected the other to grab his things and leave. What he didn't expect was a sudden heat pressed against his back as a pale hand reached around and grabbed one of Marik's bandaged hands.
"You know…you can hide the signs from people like Yugi and your sister…but I know better."
Marik flinched and pulled away from the other, holding the hand that Ryou had touched as they trembled gently.
"What the hell are you doing, and what are you even talking about?"
Ryou smiled softly, but his eyes held that darkness in them that made Marik want to cry. He looked…so much like him…
"I'm talking about you trying to bring him back. The candles? The scrolls and books? You're looking for a spell or a ritual to bring him back."
Marik was thankful that Ryou didn't say the spirit's name, but his eyes widened at the other.
"How…how did you know?"
Ryou smiled that same smile before he moved slowly to grab for one of Marik's hands again. He felt Marik trembling but gently smoothed his thumbs over the bandages.
"I could have gathered from the candles and scrolls, but this told me everything I needed to. Nearly every spell to bring someone back requires some sort of blood sacrifice or offering. You've been cutting your palms open to get that blood."
Marik was still a moment before he growled and tore his hand out of Ryou's grip.
"You don't understand anything, and don't look at me like that with pity in your eyes. I don't need your fucking pity."
Ryou didn't react to Marik's sharp words or even flinch at the movement. Marik almost wished that he did…it would have made it easier to be angry at him. But instead Ryou just looked at the broken man before him and flipped over his own hands, presenting his palms to the other. Marik almost demanded the other to cut out the bullshit and leave –
But then he saw the cuts and healing scars across Ryou's palms. There was a still moment before Marik reached out hesitantly and ran his fingers over the other's injuries.
"You…you tried…to bring him back too?"
Ryou nodded softly before he looked down to their hands together.
"I know it's foolish, considering all that he ever did to me but…I couldn't imagine life without his voice in my head. But…after a point I realised that there was nothing I could do. He is gone, and I can't continue to give up my life to try and bring him back."
At that, Marik growled again and glared up at Ryou as he snatched his hands away yet again.
"What the hell are you talking about? Of course there's something you can do! There has to be a spell, or a way! I…I can't just give up and leave him alone!"
Ryou's smile vanished as he looked towards the other with those dark eyes. Without the smile, it made his face look out of place, disjointed.
"Do you think it's fair to continue looking for a way to pull him out of his rest for your own selfish desires?"
That made Marik stop short. Selfish? No he wasn't being selfish…He just wanted his partner back…
"He…would want to come back. He would want to live – "
"How do you know? How do you know that he isn't enjoying paradise, finally able to rest from a lifetime of fighting," Ryou asked in a soft tone that made Marik flinch more than if the other had yelled.
Marik didn't answer, keeping his gaze away as he held his shaking hands. He hadn't expected this, especially from Ryou. After a few moments of silence he finally looked up and met Ryou's eyes warily.
"Do…you really think that he's in some sort of paradise?"
At that, Ryou finally cracked a smile and cocked a brow.
"Don't you? Do you think that stubbourn asshole would let the gods punish him after all they did to him?"
In that moment, Marik felt his chest shudder as a small laugh bubbled up through his taut lips.
"No, I don't. He wasn't the type to take punishments well. Whenever we'd fight and I'd try to punish him, and he'd give me that one look and before I knew it we were fine. We were back to normal…and…"
There was a pain in Marik's knees as he fell to the tiled floor, gasping gently as his body tried to stay together even as it felt like it was being torn apart seam by seam.
"I bet he wormed his way into paradise. He always had a way to get what he wanted…"
The gasping turned to sobs and white entered Marik's vision as Ryou leaned down in front of him. He wore that same soft smile that Marik loved and hated. He hated it because it wasn't the smile he wanted to see, but…it was nicer than he deserved.
And then he broke, felt like something shattered inside of him like a mirror. And every broken shard reflected an emotion that he had been hiding away since he had left. Anger, guilt, sadness, remorse, and love.
Slender pale arms wrapped around Marik as he sobbed, deep heavy sobs that shook his entire frame, sobs that hurt deep down within him.
And Ryou stayed with him, a comforting presence, one hand rubbing along the scars on Marik's back softly as the other kept him in a tight embrace. Marik was finally grieving, and it would hurt for a long time. But Ryou knew that he needed it; they both did.
It took quite a while but sobs eventually quieted to small gasping breaths. When they did, Marik pulled back and Ryou let him go as the other wiped at his face. A small smile cracked his lips as he looked at the other.
"I bet that asshole is watching us and laughing at what a mess I let myself become."
Ryou chuckled gently before he gently clapped his hands once.
"You know what would make this better? A nice big fat juicy steak. Let's go get steaks!"
Marik cocked a brow before he shook his head.
"You do realise steak is meat, right? I can't eat meat. It'll probably make me sick."
Ryou paused before he looked back and grinned widely and began to stand.
"Well, nothing says we can't live a little, right?"
And in that moment, Marik realised that no matter what, things would be okay. He could live, he would live, and he would make his life his own, even without…Bakura.
Ryou and he grabbed their coats and as Marik left his apartment for the first time in weeks, he took a deep breath and smiled, hoping that somewhere a white haired asshole was smiling for him.
Dumb angstshipping oneshot, yes. But it literally wouldn't leave my mind at work. So, I hope someone enjoys!