Humour

Falstaff: A man cannot make him laugh; but that's no marvel, he drinks no wine. – William Shakespeare, Henry IV, Part 2

Princess Eirika's hands moved as she spoke, slender fingers darting about like nimble birds made golden by the campfire's glow. A strand of hair tumbled into her face and one hand absently pushed it back behind her ear as her lips continued to move. Next to her, General Seth tilted his head closer as he listened with the utmost gravity, his eyes never leaving her face, drinking in every gesture, every word as if they were sweet wine.

A smile tickled General Seth's lips as she came near the end of her story. She finished with a flourish, fingers spread wide, mimicking an explosion, and a chuckle tumbled from the general's throat.

Across the fire from them, Forde groaned. "What's she got that I don't?"

"Feminine assets?" Joshua suggested, bemusement plain in his features.

Forde waved a hand dismissively. "No, no besides that. She got him to chuckle– that's as good as a chortle from anyone else."

Joshua tilted his cap and grinned. "Maybe you're taking the wrong approach."

With a dramatic sigh, Forde's shoulders slumped. "I tried my best riddles, juggling, and my favourite song. You know the one that–."

"Oooh I remember that one," Joshua drawled. And then, a toothy smile breaking onto his face, "How did that go over with the general?"

Forde's scabbard creaked as he shifted. "Well..." Rubbing his neck, he cleared his throat and replied, "General Seth might have told me that if he ever heard anything like that come out of my mouth again while he was within earshot, I would end up being the knight of the horse stables."

Joshua's laugh was very hearty indeed. "Shovelling manure, then?"

"He might have implied that if I insisted on speaking it I should clean it up as well."

"Along with a lecture about the decorum expected of a knight, especially one charged with safety of the rightful ruler of Renais."

Forde winced. "Yes, there was something like that too."

Joshua clapped him on the back, grinning. "Are you ready to give up yet?"

With a toss of his head like a spirited colt, Forde huffed. "Absolutely not, especially now when I have proof that the good general does indeed laugh." And then, pausing to squint at the pair across the fire, "After a fashion."

Forde turned as a familiar silhouette hovered at the edge of the firelight, the lithe figure of a pegasus knight. She hesitated for a moment before approaching Princess Eirika. "Princess, General," Vanessa said with a bow, "might either of you have seen Prince Innes?"

Princess Eirika exchanged a glance with General Seth and then shook her head. "No, I'm afraid not. Is it anything urgent?"

Vanessa stood at attention all the while, shoulders squared, arms folded behind her back. "No, Princess. A messenger has come for him and he's not in his tent. I'll continue my search. Thank you." She waited for Princess Eirika to nod and then she turned on her heel and strode away.

Forde stretched out his legs and rolled his shoulders. "I think I'm going to take a walk. Maybe I'll come up with an idea. Something's got to be funny to the general."

"You could ask the princess for pointers," Joshua suggested, pulling a coin from his purse and flipping it into the air. "Call it."

"Tails."

It caught the firelight before dropping into Joshua's palm. "Heads. Not your lucky day by the look if it."

Forde harrumphed and made his way from the campfire, one of many such. This close to Darkling Woods, being spotted by enemy soldiers was no longer a concern. Instead it was spotting the Demon King's abominations that preoccupied the watchmen. Thumbs hooked into his belt, Forde strolled aimlessly for a while, scanning the faces around the fires. It was only when someone called out for a second time that he realized it was his name being spoken.

"Sir Forde! Come share a drink with us." Garcia sat with a tin cup in one hand, a few drops of ale sloshing over the side as he raised it. Next to him, Dozla wiped a bit of froth out of his beard and grinned, while Gerik polished off the last scraps of meat on his tin plate.

"Alas, my friends," Forde said with a flourish and a bow, "I'm all drunk out for the night."

"Well at least lend us your good company, sir knight," Garcia said.

Forde paused, stroking his chin for a moment. "I can't stay, but I can offer you a few lines if you'll lend me your ears."

Gerik set down his plate, grinning already while Dozla and Gerik clinked cups. The handful of footmen nearby paused in their dining and dicing to listen as well. Taking a deep breath, Forde began his recital.

"A knight to his lady, he prayed,

That she no longer should be a maid.

When he took off his pants,

And she saw his great lance,

She was glad they no longer delayed."

Hearty laughter and a round of applause followed. Forde bowed, accepting the compliments with grace and then, offering his apologies, strolled away.

As he left the campfires behind, the sound of laughter died away and was replaced by whinnies and the rustling of feathered wings as he neared the area where the horses and pegasi were penned. He stopped in his tracks when he heard someone muttering a string of curses that would make any soldier proud. "Good evening, Cormag."

Cormag paused in his struggle to remove his wyvern's bridle, and nodded a greeting. "Sir Forde," he said and then turned back to glower at his mount.

Undeterred by the surly air on Cormag's face, Forde approached the pair with a jovial stride. "Had a rough day, did you?"

Cormag grunted. The wyvern shook himself and stretched out his wings, giving them a flap that sent a gust of dusty air flying into Cormag's face. Another string of curses followed. After a moment, he turned to Forde. "Genarog's not always like this. We were scouting in tight formation this afternoon when one of the pegasi clipped his wing. That's how wyverns start dominance challenges, so he took it personally." Cormag slapped the wyvern's shoulder. "And he's been acting like a great brute ever since."

"Maybe I could have a talk with him," Forde suggested. "I've always been good with animals. They seem to like the sound of my voice." He stepped closer. "What do you think, boy?"

Genarog snorted.

Cormag tightened his grip on the wyvern's bridle. "Probably not a good idea when he's in this sort of mood. Wyverns bite at the best of times."

Forde was within a foot of the wyvern when all at once Genarog's head shot out and bumped Forde in the chest, knocking him off balance and sending him toppling to the ground. Groaning, Forde propped himself on his elbows and peered up at the wyvern who was hovering over him, tongue lolling. It took him a moment to realize that the low, dry sound coming from his right was Cormag's laughter.

"I guess maybe my influence doesn't extend to wyverns."

"No, no," Cormag said between peals of laughter. "That means he likes you."

Forde looked from the wyvern to his rider, eyebrows raised. "What would've happened if he didn't like me?"

A wry smile tugged at Cormag's lips. "Better not to ask."

With a raise eyebrow Forde glanced from rider to mount and then, with slow, deliberate movements, got back onto his feet. "Well," he said, dusting himself off, "I wish the two of you a pleasant evening."

Genarog huffed, tongue lolling, and Cormag patted him on the shoulder and offered Forde a nod, a smile still tugging at his lips as the knight walked away.

He was about to turn back when he spied Franz's little girlfriend. He was pretty certain she was his girlfriend because when he'd teased Franz about it, his brother had blushed up to his eyebrows and stammered something about their just being sparring partners.

Sparring partners. Yeah, he'd heard that one before.

Amelia, feet dragging as she made her way back towards the tents, didn't even notice Forde as she passed by him.

He fell into step next to her. "You're looking a tad glum tonight."

She started, releasing a yelp and then clapping her hands over her mouth. "Sir Forde. You startled me. I was... thinking."

"Not about anything cheerful by the look it. Nervous about camping near Darkling Woods?"

Amelia shook her head, eyes downcast. "No. Not that."

"Worried about tomorrow's battle?"

Again she shook her head. "It isn't... It's nothing important."

He stopped walking and waited for her to stop and face him. "Come on now. You look like someone just used your favourite spear for kindling." He paused. "They didn't, did they? Because if that's what happened I'm tight with the prince and can make someone disappear if need be."

She cracked a smile. "No it's just that... Well you see I didn't sleep well last night and... well..." Her cheeks were quite scarlet as she went on in a rush. "Earlier this evening, Sir Gilliam was giving some of us footmen advanced instructions and... And I sort of dozed off."

He clapped her on the shoulder. "Oh that happens to everyone. Let me tell you a little secret... This happened not long ago, when Prince Ephraim and the rest of us were still trapped behind Grado lines. We'd been riding hard all week, staying on the move all the time to avoid the Grado troops. It rained every night and the cold was awful. I spent hours shivering so hard under my blanket that I couldn't sleep. Well, after a few days of that I was so exhausted that my eyelids were getting heavy as we rode. And then..."

Amelia's expression was eager as he trailed off. "And then?"

Forde shrugged. "And then I woke up face first in a puddle of mud." Amelia's eyes widened and Forde grinned and nodded gleefully. "Fell asleep in the saddle and toppled right off my horse."

Amelia's laugh reminded him of a songbird's chirp. Though there were grey smudges under her eyes, the smile on her face was wide and her eyes glinting.

"Kyle wouldn't let me hear the end of it. But, well, these things happen to the best of us."

"I'm sure that never happens to Franz, though."

"I don't think we should be holding ourselves to Franz's standards. He's something special."

"Yes," Amelia said softly. "He is."

Definitely his girlfriend.

"Thank you, Sir Forde. It was really kind of you to cheer me up."

"You're very welcome. You're Franz's favourite sparring partner after all so just make sure you keep that brother of mine on his toes."

Her cheeks were rather pink as she nodded. "I will. Goodnight, Sir Forde."

As he walked back towards the campfires, a smiled played on his lips even though he knew Joshua would be after him to give up on their bet. He stopped in his tracks, smile fading from his face, when he caught sight of Vanessa again. She'd finally tracked down Prince Innes, strutting around camp doing inspections, by the look of it. Forde huffed. He acted like he owned the place–which he certainly did not! This was Prince Ephraim's army!

Vanessa was blushing as she made her report, Innes's gaze fixed on her all the while. He nodded when she was through. "Thank you, Vanessa. You're a fine soldier, always at your post even when you needn't be."

She ducked her head and stammered her thanks while Forde looked on. "What's he got that I don't?" Forde murmured. "Besides fortune, a throne, and dead aim." A wistful smile touched his lips. "I bet he doesn't have my sense of humour." Vanessa's face was flushed as she continued to gaze on the Prince's handsome visage. Forde snorted and moved along.

But as the scene repeated itself before his mind's eye, he heard again Innes's words, "a fine soldier, always at your post." Something tickled his memories, turning his attention away from the blush on Vanessa's face and the smug strut of the prince.

Always at your post...

He increased his pace to a steady trot and hurried back to the campfire. Things were much as he'd left save that Princes Ephraim had joined the group, and he and Princess Eirika were deep in discussion. After a quick glance to confirm that Joshua remained seated across from them, Forde seized his opening and sat down next to General Seth who greeted him with a nod.

Forde didn't wait for further invitation. "I was just thinking about home." He jutted his chin in the direction of the twins. "It's amazing, isn't it, how far they've come? I still remember when the prince had his first fencing lessons."

General Seth glanced in their direction. "Yes. I was often assigned to keep guard on them when I was a very junior knight."

"Count yourself lucky, General. I always had ceremonial guard duty." And then, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, "In fact, I kept getting posted by the column on the left side of the throne room. The first time, though, I was pretty green and the princess–she was just a little girl then–she toddled by with her nurse on the way to some lesson–just as Sir Gallahar–you remember that old warhorse?–was giving me my standing orders. He kept telling me over and over to 'always stay at your post,' 'stay at your post.' He kept repeating it like he thought I was a bit dim."

General Seth's eyebrow was arched just the slightest bit. Forde smiled and shrugged. "I might have given him a bit of trouble during training. In any case," he said waving a hand dismissively, "the princess stopped and stared at him until finally her nurse had to tug her away. I was stuck standing by the column every day for weeks. Finally I got reassigned to keep watch by the courtyard entrance and one day the princess was there with her nurse again when she tugged her little hand right out of the woman's grasp and ran over. And you know what she said to me?" The general, listening with obvious relish, shook his head. Forde grinned. "She asked me why I wasn't at my post. 'But I am at my post,' I told her. 'I got reassigned to this gate here.' And she scrunched up her little brow and said, 'But there isn't even a post here. I thought the big, carved post in the daddy's throne room was yours.'"

A laugh, deep and genuine, rolled out of the general, enough to cause Princess Eirika to break off mid-sentence and turn to glance at him. Her eyes were filled with such warmth as she smiled at General Seth that Forde had to look away. Forde's chest clenched as his thoughts returned to Vanessa, how she beamed at Prince Innes's praise, to the prince's smug air. He hurried to excuse himself and cross the fireside to join Joshua.

"Will miracles never cease?" Joshua said, shaking his head. "You really did it."

Forde snorted. "Pay up."

Joshua extracted a handful of coins from his purse, but as Forde held his hand open to receive them, Joshua paused, keeping his fist closed around the coins. "Double or nothing if you can make Prince Innes laugh. What do you say?"

"No, I think that might be more than even I could manage."

And Forde smiled, but he did not laugh.

The End