Peeta, Peeta. His name echos through my mind, and it seems to have no end. Peeta, Peeta. It won't stop. It will never stop. Not now, not after I know that he'll try to save me when we go back in- no, my conscience can't handle that. Peeta, Peeta. I wonder if, now, I should go over. Make sure he's okay. I try to move my body, stand up off the cold, wet cellar floor. But for my own selfish reasons, I can't- my body won't let me. Or more like I won't let my body. Peeta, Peeta. His name is so loud now. It's too much; more than I can stand. I begin to wonder if I've gone mad. Why can't I make it stop? Peeta, Peeta. Now I've reached my limit, and I can't help myself from screaming out, "Peeta! Peeta!" And even to me it sounds desperate- no, more than that, it feels desperate. In the darkness my hands search for something to hold onto. I claw at the cold slab of cement, trying desperately to grasp it. Peeta, Peeta. And now I'm in a whole new fit- I'm grabbing for the ground as though it will keep me here, planted in this one spot, and he won't ever leave me- no, not again. Peeta, Peeta. I'm thrashing uncontrollably. I don't realize I'm still calling his name until he's right here beside me, holding me... He's stroking my hair, and the harsh yelling has abruptly changed into desperate sobbing. That's what I am. Not mad- no, I'm not crazy. I'm Desperate. Everthing about me is desperate. My tears, my words, my heart- Everything about me screams desperate. Peeta, Peeta. The name reminds me that he's still here, and so I stop the thrashing and clawing. I try to calm my restless body. And now I am still. But I'm still crying, because I'm still Desperate. Even though he's here I'm still desperate. And I realize now; that despite what I've said in the past, I love him. And in the moment I take a chance. And even though I know I'll land softly on the cloude that is his love, I still feel a knot of terror filling my stomach, and so I just do it. I seize the moment- take the chance," I love you." And now the desperate part of me, the Desperate Katniss decides she loves the feeling of the words on her lips. It feels delicious- And so she says it again and again, so it won't escape and he'll still love me. He squeezes my hand, and I know what it means. It means," I love you too. And I won't ever let you lose this game. Because you're worth it." And that scares me. It brings me back to reality. My body grows rigid. And those words that once seemed delicious stop- and I doubt they will ever reappear. Because to me, it's their fault. And I can't take them back. Not ever. That's the problem with words. Once you say them, they're out there for the whole world to see, and there's no way to ever put them back in your brain, for you alone to hear. I finally open my eyes. Peeta, Peeta, Peeta, Peeta. It's like a warning bell in my head. And it's telling me that I have to keep him alive- that there's no other option. And so I let him have this one night- I let him be peaceful for one night, just lay here, with me. And be still.