Where they went is a story for another day… Tristan and Buddy: Adventures in WW3

I woke up, expecting to hit my head on a pink minivan. But I didn't. The first thing I thought of was Buddy. I reached out my hand and felt around for him. I patted what seemed like his fur. I opened an eye to make sure. It was the dead body of a raccoon with 6 legs. I heard a small bark and Buddy ate the mutant animal carcass. I closed my eye again. Buddy licked my face.

"Eeeww! You just ate a dead deformed raccoon. Don't lick my face, dude!"

"Sorry Tristan."

"Yeah, and you should be…wait, what?"

"I said sorry Tristan."

I sat up and opened both eyes to gawk at my dog.

"Did you just talk to me?"

"Well, I think so. I think saying sorry to you is classified as speaking. Hi!"

I smacked myself in the face and looked again. Still Buddy.

"Am I dead?"

Buddy poked me with his paw.

"I don't think so. If you're wondering, I'm able to talk from something that was in that raccoon thing I ate. If you were wondering."

We just looked at each other for a minute.

"By the way, I would rather poop in a toilet instead of outside." Buddy informed me, "At least let me poop on the rug, or in the dog food bowl. Oh yeah! The dog food you give me sucks, man. Would it kill you to give me a slab of ribs every other day?"

Buddy suddenly jumped on top of me. He shivered and tucked his tail between his legs. I peered around him to see what made him freak out. A decapitated body was sprawled where Buddy had been standing. The head landed beside him a second later. I scooted back.

"Where are we, Tristan?" Buddy asked.

"How am I supposed to know?"

A hand grabbed my shoulder. I spun around. A man was standing there. He had a helmet on, but it was crooked and falling off.

"You have a weapon, soldier?"

Buddy opened his mouth to speak, but I poked him on the head to tell him no.

"Why?" I asked hesitantly.

"It's World War Three, soldier!" The man yelled. He handed me a bazooka.

"What?"

"Use this to shoot some aliens, kid! If you're from this dimension, you should know that!"

I glanced at Buddy. The minivan must have sent us to another dimension. Crud. Possibly awesome, but possibly crud.

"So there are aliens from-."

"Stop arguing! Are you going to be on our side or theirs?"

"Your side?"

"Good choice." The soldier guy said. He finally noticed Buddy. "We need to get this guy a gun too." He mumbled. He grabbed a walkie-talkie out of his belt. "This is Commander Poofbottom. We need a rocket launcher over here, stat. Coordinates? We're by the old McDonald's. That good enough? By the drive-thru. Just get over here. I found 2 new soldiers for our cause. Any soldier is a good one. I gave the horse-kid a bazooka and we need the rocket launcher for the dog. Yes, a dog. We're gonna win this war now! Over."

Suddenly, 2 teenagers and a bunny rabbit with a handgun dropped out of the sky. One of the kids, a girl, gave Buddy an industrial rocket launcher.

"Thanks?" Buddy said.

The girl nodded. A boom echoed through the air. The girl turned sharply and flung the bunny rabbit in the direction of the explosion.

"Report back to HQ afterwards, Agent Flurb!" She called out.

She looked at me and my dog.

"My name is Trixie. Welcome to World War Three, boys."

"Technically, I'm not a boy. I'm a centaur, and Buddy is a dog."

Trixie rolled her eyes.

I looked at Buddy and grinned. This is gonna be fun.