I do not own anything. T for hinted rape and angst. this is dedicated to Kaze Kimizu for the inspiration.

My Heart is gone

still remember the world
From the eyes of a child

I remember, barely, how I saw things before my parents died. The world was brighter...happier.


Slowly those feelings
Were clouded by what I know now

but even so, it wasn't until after I left Wammy's that the world go really dark. The Mafia is no place for fifteen year old.

Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world

I used to feel things, in my chest. It would get cold when horrible things happened... now I can't tell what's horrible and what's not.

Oh I... I want to go back to
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all

I used to believe that rain was angels crying. Now the only angels I believe in are made of stone and watch the dead. How morbid have I become?

I still remember the sun
Always warm on my back
Somehow it seems colder now

I wear all this black, black attracts heat, right? I wear layers. I wear leather. but the chill is from inside, not out.

Where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger

One of the bosses is giving me the eyes again. Fuck I hate that. What's left of my heart is shuddering. I don't really care though. It's physical, not ...anything else.

Oh I... I want to go back to
Believing in everything

I used to believe in the goodness of people. I was so young. So stupid. Stupid yet brilliant. I have been fluent in latin fer chrissakes, LATIN, since I was seven.

Iesu, Rex admirabilis
Et triumphator nobilis,
Dulcedo ineffabilis,
Totus desiderabilis.

"O Jesus, King most wonderful
Thou Conqueror renowned
Thou Sweetness most ineffable
in whom all joys are found"

I was so gullible.

Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world

I traded eveerything, my happiness, my soul, my virginity and sanity for this world, this clean world that's -worth- saving. Where's the world I gave so much up for?


Oh I... I want to go back to
Believing in everything

Babies come from Cabbage patches or Storks native to France that carry them in their bills. No one can make you do anything you want. There is justice.

Oh, Where
Where has my heart gone

I feel it's void, the spot where it should be. i know it's -beating-, but I cannot feel it...

Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
Oh I... I want to go back to

I can't breathe. his gaze suffocates me more than the pillow will tonight. Fuck. I want to get away, go, run, run the way i did to get here. I want to go back... back to...M


Believing in everything

Life is not fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all...

Read and review, please.