This.. This is a shameful Nellis fic… I am so ashamed of myself, I swear xD

Summary: AU. Title from one of my feel-good songs by My Darkest Days. Nick runs a little strip club: Hard Rain, home of the Sweetest Witches (not really subtle tie-in with L4D2). Nick's club holds Ladies Night every weekend for ladies to ogle beautiful men. Yup. Porn Star Dancing, y'all.

Warnings: Obviously yaoi if this is a Nellis fic. This used to be just a short, fan-service fic, but then I just kept on typing. And.. got a story for it. So, enjoy!

Disclaimer: Am I making money off of this? What was that? No? Well then. Disclaimed.

Nick propped his feet up on his desk "No, I'm sorry Misty. I want 'Girls Gone Wild', not 'Katy Perry'. Normal girls won't do either. Can't we get a decent stripper in this club? And where is my line-up for Ladies Night?" He scattered papers on his desk.

Misty rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry, but one of your male strippers is going to be out for awhile. He just got knee surgery. We're one man short now."

"Ugh.. I hate last minute substitutions." Nick rubbed his temples. "We'll settle this tomorrow. We need to close up and set up for Cowgirl day."

"Right on it, Mr. Nicolas." Misty saluted her boss and left his office.

Nick picked up his papers again and flipped through them. Half of them were bills, and the other half were applications for female strippers. He scoffed as he flipped through some of the applications. One with a black woman's picture read, "I'm sassy, I'm outgoing, and I'm not afraid to speak my mind!" He shook his head and laughed. "How unbearable! Worst kind of woman…" Another with a cute brunette read, "I'm all business, so you don't need to worry about me trying to get on your good-side." This one made Nick laugh hard. "Good-side? When did I have one of those?"

Misty poked her head through the door and cleared her throat. "I got some more applications for you. Mostly male strippers. Weird, huh? Who'd wanna be a male stripper in Wisconsin?"

"I'll look at them tomorrow. Just set them on the couch." Misty nodded and tossed them on the couch close to the door and slammed the door on her way out. "Graceful as always, I guess. Don't slam my door, you bitch!" He hollered the last part.

Another hour of flipping through the applications for female strippers, Nick gave up and got up to get the male strippers papers. Walking over to his ratty couch, he reached out to pick up the papers. He shifted the papers together and made his way back to his desk when his door slammed open. Surprised, Nick flung the papers in the air, in a rather comedic way. "Misty, how many fucking times do I have to tell you to not slam my fucking door!" Nick fumed, bending over to collect the fallen applications.

"What the fuck do you want, Misty?!" He turned around and slammed the applications onto his desk, pointing with a stern finger to—not Misty?

"I-I.. er, well, I ain't no Misty, sir." A man no taller than 5'10" chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. He pushed his wavy blonde hair up his neck and played with a lock. He had a Gas Station hat tucked in his coveralls pocket, grime and oil stains running up his pant legs. He really did put up a shabby appearance, but his face sure was clean and well chiseled. So were those biceps, and Nick could see the fine protrusions of his pectorals on the breast of his shirt. But this is beside the point. Who is this beautiful mess?

"Who the fuck are you, and why are you in my office?" Nick commanded, rather than asked. "Joint is closed, it's Labor Day."

"Oh! Uh, I din't mean to intrude, sir. Ah was just lookin' fer a job at this here establishment." The kid, Nick decided, couldn't have been a day older than 22, and most likely from the most redneck of towns down in the Louisiana South.

"Kid—hope you don't mind the name since I don't care for your actual one—do you even know what this place is?" Nick asked, deciding the kid was obviously lost and assumed this was a normal bar.

"Well, 'course Ah do, sir! This is the Hard Rain bar, home o' the sweetest witches. Clever name, play on words of the 'sweetest riches'. You must be a smart man, comin' up with a name like that. Ah never was good with comin' up with names. Me and my buddy Keith once named a cat Butch, but mah mama said it was 'chiefly a dog's name'. So we named it Sally after five rounds of Rock-Paper-Scissors." The kid laughed at his own story. After realizing his rambling, his cheeks flushed red and he began tripping on his own words. "A-ah, sorry. Ah was ramblin' again. Shoot. Sorry 'bout that, sir. When I'm nervous, Ah kinda go off on a stupid tangent."

Nick stayed in silence, refusing to talk until his questions were answered. The kid seemed to get the hint and walked towards Nick's desk, hand extending out in a peaceful gesture. "Mah name is Ellis. Ellis Abernathy. Just drove in from sweet ol' Savannah."

Nick glared at the kid's hand, but reluctantly shook it. "Nicolas Haze. Why do you want to work here?"

"Well, Ah was askin' around of a place where I could get a job not too long ago. Some guy in the grocery store told me that with mah face, I could get a job down here. Din't really know what he meant till I rolled up to the front. Now Ah feel like he was hittin' on me."

Nick chuckled, surprised at Ellis' modesty. "Well, I am looking for an extra man. Can you dance? You know, in a sexy and provocative manner?"

"Don't know what provocative means, but Ah can try an' wiggle mah ass in a sexy manner." Ellis said, swaying his hips.

"Let's go see." Nick said, walking over to the door. "After you, Ellis."

Ellis' cheeks heated up, getting a rosy tint. He nodded and scampered past Nick. Nick looked down as the kid was walking and gave him a little pat on his bum. "Hm, speaking of wiggling your ass, why hide it under these stupid grease-monkey clothes? Who would where this, anyway? You've got a really good shape under here."

"A-ah well, Ah got laid off from my old job as a mechanic. Got to keep the clothes, now they're the only thing Ah've got to my name, save fer a duffle bag of jeans and briefs, o' course." Ellis said. "Ah know it ain't professional to come over for an interview not in mah Sunday's best, but like Ah said, Ah just rolled into town not too long ago." Ellis and Nick stopped in front of the main stage, a pole stuck into the middle of the rounded end of the catwalk. "Ah'm dancing on this? Er, not that there's a problem, sir. It's just.. y'know, first time dancin', but.. her…" Ellis shyly looked towards Misty.

"Of course, kid. 'Less you wanna dance in my private room. Where MISTY, can't see your nice ass shaking around." Nick glowered at Misty from where she was at the bar. She stuck out her tongue and flicked him off. "Yeah, real cute, Miss."

"Fuck you, Nick. I'm cute all day long."

"Uh, yes please, Mr. Nick?"

"Whoa, second base already, Nicky?" Misty joked.

Nick flipped her the bird in return and guided Ellis towards his private room. "Don't listen to her, kid. She's my God damned sister-in-law. Had to hire her."

"Oh…" Ellis bit the inside of his cheek, visibly uncomfortable. Nick took notice.

"I don't care if you bone her. I'm not responsible for her. Well, anymore." Nick said. He opened the door for the both of them and they entered a much darker, more velvety room. Nick glanced at Ellis, seeing the slight confusion and contemplation on his face. "Gosh, kid, you wear your emotions on your sleeve. She isn't my responsibility anymore since her fucking sister dumped my sorry ass. Too bad I couldn't get rid of both of them."

The left corner of Ellis' lips tugged into a slight smile. He looked up at Nick and gave the room a quick once over. There was no stage, just a pole, and instead of rows of chairs or tables, there were two love seats and a coffee table.

Nick took his place on one of the loveseats, facing the pole and crossed his legs in a manly, mob boss-type manner. He sighed and leaned back, sinking into the cushions. "You know what, I'm not in the mood to watch a dance." Ellis stood near the door awkwardly, not sure what to do. "Hey kid, this'll be your first test. On Ladies Night, there is the occasional guest who was dragged with all of her other gal pals to the sketchy part of town, she will be upset and not quite into everything going on around her. You're job is to lighten her mood, assure her that you and the other dancers can give her a fun night. Now, let's say I am that woman. I was dragged along to Hard Rain, my guy friend has just told me we needed a break, and I'm not in the mood for anything but drinking. What will you do?"

Ellis thought for a second. "If yer in the mood fer a drink, shouldn't Ah get you a drink?"

Nick clapped very lightly. "Good job, Sherlock. Get the lady a drink. Women like fruity drinks. When in a bad mood, get her something sweet and lightening. Not quite Apple Martini, though. Then what do you do after offering her the drink?"

"Give you the drink.. then offer a dance?"

"Correct. Always offer. Women like gentlemen, but they also like the more forward men. Think you can do that?" Nick asked.

"Yessir!" Ellis sat, shifting his wait onto his left leg.

Nick licked his lips. "So, show me how you'd dance for her."

Ellis gulped. Yeah, his first dance. And it's for a man. His might-be boss. Well, it is in the job description, after all.

Nick grabbed a stereo remote from the coffee table and began pressing buttons. "I'll give you a beat. Hard Rain's theme song. Kind of." Heavy bass and a resounding techno drum played through the surround sound speakers. Reminded Ellis of when Keith was going through his techno phase and would only listen to Ferry Corsten. Well, he still listened to Ferry, but he returned to his Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood for the most part.

Ellis liked the beat and began dancing to it, swaying his hips and moving closer to Nick. Okay, he's a customer. Not your sexy, might-be boss, Ellis. Don't fuck it up. Wait, don't think of him as sexy, b-because he totally isn't. Middle-aged woman, middle-aged woman… "Hey, it's a little hot. Can Ah take my shirt off?"

Nick smirked and gave a curt nod. Ellis did so, whipping the shirt behind Nick's head and straddling his legs. Nick jumped a little, startled by this kid's bravado. The kid really knew how to move his hips. Like, really move. He began to chuckle, letting himself be pulled by Ellis' shirt. Oh yes, he'll enjoy this dance…