Wally was having the best night of his life.

His original plans for the night had involved Monitor duty, an uber-secret stash of Family Guy episodes, and whatever chips and cookies J'onn had stashed in the kitchen. His original plans had sucked. But being a superhero had its perks, as evidenced by Exhibit A: "Wally's Best Night EVER." Here he was, in the most expensive restaurant in Central City, with a very hot babe, being treated to a very delicious, very free meal. Through the large panoramic windows he could see the twinkling lights of his city. A city that was safe from fear because he was here to save the day. Well, that's what Candi had said when he saved her from those really creepy bug dudes. They'd apparently dug up from near the center of the Earth just so they could steal some human women, which Wally sort of understood because he was pretty sure anyone human would be a lot sexier than some bug person with six tentacles and no mouth. But that still didn't give them the right to take his women, humankind's women, to do weird stuff with, which he didn't want to think about, 'cause it was weird enough thinking about bug people doing it with each other, it was even more mind shattering to think about cross species mating. Ugh.

Anyways, he'd saved Candi and several of her friends from the ugly pod people and that had led to a private dinner, on the house, with a former Miss Texas. He was hoping that it would lead to more shows of gratitude and Candi looked like she hoped so, too.

Best. Night. EVER.

Worst. Night. EVER.

He had no idea how to handle this. Gorilla Grodd was just a talking ape. Lex Luthor was just a bald guy with a really big and evil mid-life crisis. Batman was just a . . . okay, Batman was downright scary. But this, this was insane. When Candi had seen it in the apartment, she had immediately shrieked and run like hell, yelling that he was a sick monster, and she should have known better than to go out with someone who wore red spandex. That had just about blown any chances he had of christening his new silk sheets. Instead, he was stuck here, trying to make sense of this ticking bomb. There hadn't been any screams yet, but he knew it was just a matter of time. Wally looked down at the sleeping baby in his arms, and tried to figure out who to call first.

The baby woke up and started crying.

Worst night ever. And he had a feeling it was going to get worse.