It had been a peaceful day in our little island. Kolkolkol, that's a lie. I had already died 6 times. How you might ask? One faithful day my tribe had gotten the chance at being immortal. Being the idiots we were then we took the offer. Kolkolkol. The gods kill us so many times a day it's like a young, morbid child is controlling our everyday lives.
But then it got out of hand.
We were on the newly discovered Konky Dong island and the gods had the Konky Dong statue on the mountain. Then Roddy, my Roddy had flown into the air and landed in the firm grasp of the stone ape. The giant ape climbed up the mountain to grab Roderich. He and the ape went down the mountain. "Kolkolkol, he should not have done that~" I whispered to myself. "I'll save you!~" I yelled down.
I jumped off the side and plummeted to the hard floor. Perfecting this skill, I did a forward roll as I got close to the ground to absorb the shock. I saw the ape Konky Dong at the top of a part of the mountain with a cage. A cage that held Roddy.
As I started to start my way up, Konky Dong noticed and started rolling rocks at me. I climbed stairs, crushed rocks with a pickaxe, jumped over them and ran and ran until I got near the monkey and Roderich. When I did the ape grabbed the cage and climbed higher. I jumped over giant bugs, jumped over more rocks and climbed up more stairs. Until the monkey saw me and climbed higher. This kept repeating until I was near exhaustion. Finally, there was no more climbing. We were at the very top of the mountain. He threw a giant rock at me, but I was strong. I put my arms out full length in front of me and made my hands flat upwards. The rock stopped and I pushed it with all my Russian strength. Kolkolkol, he had it coming. The giant ape fell down the mountain and landed with a pleasant sickening splat.
I saw Roderich grimace as the splat echoed. Then he turned to me and yelled "Hey! Are you going to let me out or not Ivan?" I gave a creepy smile and strode over to the aristocratic pygmy. I saw a small rock on the ground and broke the lock with it. I smiled again, "Privyet Roddy," and grabbed his hand. I pulled him close, and like a child was controlling us through a small electronic tablet thing, the sun quickly changed to the moon. I smiled. A real smile. He leaned against my bare chest and music started out of nowhere. Even if it was an odd Fishmas carol it was still there. I looked at Roderich, sparkling in the moonlight. I leaned down and gave him a gentle kiss. When we separated we laid down and slept next to each other.
And again, someone up in the sky had it in for us because the mood was broken when we were transported to Graveyard Island. The dirt was dug up from the grave and our friends fell from the sky. Italy flew and was buried alive in the grave. The symbol glowed and Italy rose from the ground as a zombie. He walked over to Germany and ate a hole in his head. The brains were sucked from his skull and the German turned blue. Germany went over to Prussia and ate his brains too. I giggled. The morbidness of the gods were so humorous. Kolkolkol. Kalingrad zombie walked to Hungary and proceeded with the chain. Then Hungary went to Roddy, but I knew that he would come back when everybody crumbled. Roderich came to me and I happily had my brains eaten.
It was a great morbid ending to a great day.