AN – This comes from LightningPrincessR sharing her current obsession with Felicity's past with me and a scene from Three Ghosts that stayed with me. The scene replaying in my mind is the one where Oliver tells them he's going after Cyrus Gold and Felicity is concerned he's not well enough and then asks him to promise to come back.

AN2 – Always a special thank you to Mic Riddy for her incredible support and beta work! All mistakes still belong to me though!

DISCLAIMER – No legal claim on the show or characters, just playing for fun or angst in this case!

Felicity took her seat at the lair's computers and pulled the financial records of the shadow corporations she had linked to Merlyn after the Undertaking. She had been systematically diverting small amounts of funds from these entities to Glades restoration projects over the last year. Felicity had covered her tracks well but continued to monitor the transfers in case anyone tracked or researched the funds. Speak of the devil, Felicity thought as she noticed an aberration in the report. Typing quickly Felicity was able to discover it was an automatic bank program and within minutes she had erased that inquiry. However, as she did that she also noted another hacker's tracks in the system as well. Felicity was soon enmeshed in deciphering those clues and finding out what was going on.

An hour later, Felicity sat back and took a deep breath as she let the programs run. This was important so she had to succeed – she couldn't fail again. Even though no one knew of her personal promise to help Oliver rebuild the City she knew of it and she had to make good on it especially as she had only just realized she would have to break another promise made to Oliver. Felicity learned at a young age the importance of promises and especially the importance of broken promises.

Felicity bit her lip as she remembered telling Oliver that her dad had left her but she hadn't told him the whole story. She hadn't shared how she was always her daddy's little girl and her early memories were full of him. Nor did she share how her dad had come into her room that one dark night and told her that he was leaving but that he loved her and promised to return and get her. Felicity had been too young to understand everything going on but she understood that her dad broke his promise. He didn't come back for her and she never saw him again after that night. Her mom had been the one to stay and love her … but she too broke her promises.

As she wiped tears from her cheeks Felicity recalled two promises her mom broke. The first was in the emergency room after the doctor had set her broken arm. Her mom had cried and told her she wouldn't let him hurt them again. She had held Felicity as she filed charges with the police against her boyfriend. They had fled after that and stayed on the run for years trying to stay ahead of him but he had found them and had hurt Felicity again. Felicity knew the physical wounds healed and the scar on her arm was barely noticeable now, but she also knew that wasn't the only damage done. It had taken years before she and her mom settled back into a normal life and stayed in one town for more than a few months.

Felicity could remember the smell of the spring flowers she was gathering when her mom joined her in the garden they had planted together. She told her they were safe and wouldn't move again and Felicity had been thrilled. The memory of those dark days faded but whenever Felicity was nervous she found she still crossed her arms and unconsciously traced the nearly hidden scar on her arm. Newer, happier memories replaced the old ones even if it was only her and her mom in those memories – no family, no friends – Felicity had enjoyed those bright days.

The darkness returned though when her mom woke her in the dead of night and pulled her from her bed. Felicity remembered the fear and panic as her mom told her to dress and leave everything behind. She remembered trying to pack her favorite shirt and bear but her mom ripped them from her hands as she pulled her to the car. They returned to a life on the run and Felicity realized even then that it was always possible for her world to be destroyed again despite anyone's promises.

Things had settled down again and her mom worked hard to keep them together, safe and happy but Felicity found there were more scars. She didn't trust easily and even after they planted new roots Felicity hadn't made any close friends. She kept to herself and her computers – that was a world of her own creation and under her control. She didn't need to trust anyone here as she could take care of herself. She could also take care of her mom and Felicity learned to erase their past and hide their tracks even if she couldn't erase the scars. Felicity had learned to ask for no promises nor did she make any.

MIT fostered more independence in her and honed her technical skills. The virtual world also allowed her to have friends while still keeping herself separate and whole. Her college experience had also helped her create both a virtual identity and a real life avatar. She started intentionally dressing in bright colors, always polished her fingernails and even dyed her hair blond and started wearing glasses. This was the new persona she allowed the world to see while hiding her true self deep inside. Felicity was even able to maintain that persona when she accepted the position at Queen Consolidated. Her real life avatar allowed her to control what others saw in her and also kept her personal darkness at bay; however, it wasn't until Oliver and Diggle became her friends that Felicity found the disguise wasn't always necessary.

She found two people she trusted…she found two friends she trusted not to leave even if she disagreed with them or did things her way and it was liberating. They didn't see the darkness only the light and Felicity found she saw it more too and felt more at home. They were a motley group (CEO billionaire by day and masked hero at night, well-trained soldier posing as the black driver, and a brilliant but quirky IT girl who was now EA to the CEO) but they became her family. Felicity delighted in the irony that she was the brightness in their world and she did her part to help them stay together and grow closer.

Despite her initial reservations, Felicity really threw herself into the vigilante world and thrived on the challenge of it even as she enjoyed the new-found security of her place in that world. She learned not only about herself but also what it meant to be close to others again. They all had their walls but as their success and very survival depended on each other those walls had been breached. There were definitely moments where it was uncomfortably close … Felicity stifled a watery chuckle as she remembered the various yelling matches they had all indulged in at one time or another. Diggle was certainly the calmer one of the group and rarely raised his voice now but she and Oliver still argued loudly at times.

It was during an argument that Felicity actually realized her feelings for Oliver had grown beyond family love and beyond a crush (who wouldn't admire him on the salmon ladder?). She had asked him to make a promise to her … and not just any promise but a promise to return. Logically Felicity knew it was an irrational request as she had actually accepted the dangers of their jobs but her emotions overwhelmed her in that moment. She then fell a little bit more in love with him when he refused to make the absurd promise, when he refused to break a promise to her.

Then a few more walls crumbled when she told him about her past as she told him about his own mom. Oliver had quickly realized there was a problem and just as quickly sought to comfort and help her. If he hadn't been so quick Felicity may have been able to hold back until after he had to speak. Unfortunately, he caught her in that moment of weakness when that old fear of being abandoned was choking her and she just blabbed the truth nearly incoherently. It was heart-wrenching to feel his pain on top of her own but Felicity did – his mother broke her promises and it shattered Oliver and his pain broke Felicity's heart.

Felicity made her third silent promise to Oliver that day – she would never lie to him. She didn't immediately realize the contradiction inherent in her promises as her emotions were running rampant at that moment. It was only later that she realized that she had, in fact, made three promises to Oliver and she would have to break one of them.

Her first silent promise came when they failed to stop the second device. She promised to help him rebuild the City in any way she could to make-up for her failure. She remained on the Team and did her part but there was more to this personal promise. For her that promise meant hacking into Merlyn's records, uncovering the shadow corporations and tax shelters, and skimming money from them to help rebuild the Glades. She didn't tell Oliver or Diggle about this plan but simply enacted it on her own and protected them and the Arrow in case she was discovered. She had planned on telling them both the truth after that third promise to Oliver but realized now she could continue the program without their knowledge and could continue to protect them from her actions. Considering the other things she would now have to hide from him, this seemed almost inconsequential. Felicity couldn't help but laugh at her own thoughts and the fact that Oliver and Diggle would loudly disagree with her conclusions.

Her second silent promise came the day she asked him to promise to return. When he did return and she was able to hug him close and feel his steady heartbeat as he hugged her back she promised never to leave him. That promise was given in mostly gratitude that he was whole, healthy, and back with them but it was also born of love. Her love for him was something she was still discovering herself and certainly not anything she had shared with him. That promise still brought issues though and there had been a few bumps in that particular road. Those bumps included more than a few harsh words between them when she took trips to visit Barry. However, she and Oliver had come back together and were stronger because of it. She knew her place was with Oliver and he knew it too.

Now there was Sara – beautiful, blond, broken Sara. Sara who was the sister of his lost love Laurel and intimately connected to his past and the Island. Felicity knew of Sara's night with Oliver in the lair and yes, it broke her heart but her promises came first. She would help rebuild the City and she would never leave Oliver … but she would now have to lie to Oliver. She couldn't add to his burden herself by telling him the truth of her feelings nor could she act on those feelings. She would have to bury those emotions and she would have to break her promise to never lie to him in order to keep the other two promises.

Felicity was crying openly now but as she was the only one in the lair she indulged in the freedom of the tears as she let go of the pain of lost love and broken promises. She loved Oliver and was in love with him but Felicity accepted that pain as the price of making promises again. Promises and especially broken promises always hurt and the price this time was again her heart.

As she continued to cry more softly now Felicity knew it was a good time to revisit her past as the memories were already running through her mind. After several minutes of work she accessed and decrypted the secret files and brought them up on the screen. Felicity then sat back and reviewed the details she had hidden from the world, hidden from her Team, hidden from Oliver …

Suzanne Kent was the name on her actual birth certificate but she had few memories of that person.

Callie Webster was her mom's second choice when they first fled but those memories were few as well.

Danielle Carter was next and was the first name Felicity still identified as her own. Danielle lived in the bright spot between the dark times but Felicity tried not to focus on those good memories too often. Sometimes good memories hurt as much as bad ones.

Emily Rickards was next and was her mom's final effort at creating a safe world for them. She remained Emily during high school and she and her mom even stayed in the same town during that time. Her world was stable then, quiet and lonely but stable. She could have continued to be Emily and live in that world but she wanted and needed more and that was when she decided on MIT.

However, before she could pursue that dream she had felt the need to create her own identity. After serious consideration and research she chose Felicity. Her mom suggested Felicity as it meant great happiness and good fortune (yes, she lied when she let Oliver think she didn't know what her name meant). Her mom still wanted a good life for her and always reminded her to look for the good and seek the light. Felicity was hesitant at first but later embraced the irony of it and agreed. She wouldn't promise her mom that she would live up to the name though and she remembered well her mom's sad smile as she accepted that choice.

Smoak was definitely her own choice though and it had great personal meaning to her. Happiness could disappear as easily as smoke – that was a lesson she'd already learned. However, she had fought back from that loss and built a new world for herself. The battle had taught her another important lesson - she could disappear just as easily as smoke herself. She had already reinvented herself once and knew she could do it again.

Now escape wasn't an option as Felicity found herself trapped by her own promises. She had an obligation to make the City better and she owed much to the Team but perhaps after these battles were fought she could be released from her promises and again disappear?

The beep of her computer interrupted Felicity's musings and quickly brought her focus back to the present as she noticed tracks in her profiles. Oh man, could someone have found out?

Even as Felicity started to work through the implications of someone researching her, a message was displayed on her computer.

I KNOW WHO YOU ARE … DO YOUR FRIENDS KNOW? DOES OLIVER QUEEN KNOW?

Felicity simply stared for a moment, dumbfounded and frozen. As the message started to disappear she started typing furiously to track it. Her tears dry now Felicity was on a mission and she was fearless as she sought information. She continued her search and it led her to a private site hidden within a corporation's public website. The corporation was named Shado.

The name gave her a moment's pause but then she continued ahead determined to find out what was going on. She was surprised when the screen went black before displaying a montage of Team Arrow pictures. It took Felicity a moment to realize they had been taken over several months and included all Team members but the focus seemed to be on her and Oliver. There were pictures of them at QC, at public events, and even some showing her with the Arrow. Oliver's face was hidden but the implication was clear. The final picture wasn't a snapshot but instead a drawing of a beautiful Asian woman wearing a green hood. Felicity gasped out loud as she realized she was looking at Oliver's Shado.

The screen again went black before another message appeared.

IT APPEARS WE HAVE MUTUAL FRIENDS MS. SMOAK. PERHAPS WE SHOULD MEET …

There was nothing after that but Felicity knew her visit had been tracked regardless of the care she had taken. Whoever the person was would know she had received the message and would probably contact her for a response. Oh man, what I am going to do?!

Felicity felt panic seize her and fear clawed at her and for a moment she was again that little girl trapped in the darkness. Sobbing quietly even as she fought for air Felicity buried her face in her hands and fought for control. After a few moments she was able to think more clearly and knew she had to prioritize. First she needed to protect her mom and the Team … and then she would seek out this mystery threat.

Felicity started working furiously to lock her mom's records, safeguard her identity, and set additional traps for anyone seeking those records. She then went to work on the lair's physical security as well as the Team's sources, contacts, and programs. Clearly security and secrecy had always been a priority but now Felicity's efforts reached paranoid levels as she backed up everything in triplicate, added new layers of security even as she changed all the codes and procedures. She also searched for any security breaches but couldn't find anything that warranted follow-up.

Finally breathing more calmly Felicity sat back to review the facts and options and look for weaknesses in her strategy. Being surrounded by trained warriors had taught her a little bit about warfare strategy although as it was so remarkably similar to hacking Felicity took to it easily. You had to expect to take some hits so it was smart to choose where you were weak and set traps – the flip side was that you had to look for traps set by your opponent as well. As Felicity had just entered this particular game she had to give the first round to her mystery contestant but she was determined to win in the end.

Felicity was so wrapped up in her efforts that she didn't even hear the lair door open nor the soft footsteps of the three people approaching.

"Who's Suzanne Kent?" Oliver's question startled Felicity and she jumped up from her chair even as she turned to see him, Diggle and Sara.

"Felicity, is everything ok?" Diggle asked that question as she simply stared at them.

"Oh yeah, just researching …" Felicity turned back to her computers to hide all the information. "Working on our security, just doing my job really …"

Felicity stopped speaking and tried to steady her breathing as she finished hiding all the information. She knew she needed to face the group but as she also knew there was probably still evidence of her recent tears on her face so she was putting that off as long as possible.

"Felicity." It seemed like it was always Oliver growling her name … no one else ever put so much into it and even if he didn't even know the true value of her name his emphasis on it always melted her heart a bit.

"Everything's fine." Felicity quickly spit that out before she turned to face him, face them. She needed a distraction and latched onto the first thought in her head. "Did you guys all get here at the same time? That's a weird coincidence …" Felicity saw the quick look Oliver and Sara exchanged and cursed her own thoughts even as she plowed ahead. "Of course, you were together last night …well, at least Team Arrow carpools and saves the environment, right? That's a good thing and would be a great marketing tool, you know, if we ever need to market the Team."

Felicity had met each of their eyes during that ramble before she returned her attention to gathering her stuff as quickly as possible. She was just about to launch into another ramble about needing to leave and run errands before work but Oliver again spoke.

"Felicity. Are you okay?" Oliver interrupted her attempt as he latched on to her elbow and stepped in close. She used to love that he invaded her personal space to stand so close to her but now with Sara here it made her feel awkward and unsure.

"Yes, I'm fine. Did you guys come in to train before work or do you need something? I really need to run a few errands before going to the office but I can put that off if you need something right now." Felicity knew her voice wasn't as strong as she wanted but she did square her shoulders and forced herself to meet Oliver's eyes. At his look of concern she cleared her throat and swallowed with difficulty as she waited. It was Sara who spoke though.

"We did come in just to train."

Sara smiled as she said this and Felicity knew she was trying to support her but she couldn't help but feel left out. The Team was changing and Felicity was no longer sure of her place. However, she still returned the smile and nodded to both Oliver and Diggle before turning back again to grab her stuff and leave. Oliver had let go of her arm which made the task easier but Felicity didn't realize he hadn't stepped away. She had heard their movements behind her and then she heard the familiar sounds of training across the room so she took a moment to breathe deeply before she turned and bumped straight into Oliver.

"Oliver! I'm sorry, I thought you were already gone, not that I wanted you gone but I just thought you were with Sara, I mean I know you are with Sara but I'm meant now, physically with her, over there. Okay, stopping now in three, two, one …"

Felicity stepped back away from Oliver as her rambling was always worse when he was close. Even though he rarely teased her about it she would still prefer to find a better filter around him. Living in a virtual world for most of her life hadn't really prepared her for sharing her life with the infamous Oliver Queen and certainly not his alter ego the Arrow. Felicity shook her head at her own wayward thoughts and brought her focus back to Oliver who stood immobile patiently waiting for her. She couldn't help smiling at him before she spoke again.

"Was there something else you wanted?"

"Felicity, it's just you and me – talk to me."

Even though she melted at his repeated use of her name, Felicity also gritted her teeth against the urge to lean into him and ask for his help. This was her life, her choices, and her promises though, and she needed to be the one to handle it.

"There's nothing to talk about … I was just feeling a little nostalgic and was reviewing some things from my past but it's nothing. I'm fine." Felicity again smiled to lend truth to the lies.

"So Suzanne Kent is someone you knew? Someone from your past?" Oliver questioned as his brows furrowed in an attempt to understand.

"No, yes – it's complicated. It's in the past and it's best to leave the past in the past, right?" Felicity again smiled as she pushed her glasses up and crossed her arms. "I really do have errands to run and I believe you have a girlfriend and a best friend ready to beat you senseless so let's both get our jobs done, huh?" She smiled yet again as she pushed quickly by him and then tossed out as casually as she could, "See you at the office."

Felicity took off at a run as soon as she cleared the lair door. She needed to solve this mystery quickly before her past came back to hurt not just her and her mom but the Team and Oliver as well.

AN3 – As a first for me, I've actually written this entire story but I want to hear your feedback pls! You guys have changed stories for me before (for the better, I think) and I need you again! This represents a definite departure of my usual Team Arrow style so any feedback would be appreciated! Thanks!